Kyungsoo scratches another mark on the wall. Three strikes and you're out. He smiles humorlessly at the three marks he’d etched with his nails; there was, after all, nothing particularly funny about being held in this tiny cell for three days with no escape in sight. 

It had felt like a nightmare at first, terrifying but unreal. The police had driven him from Jongin's apartment straight to this detention center that's not quite a prison but close enough. In a small office, they asked him if he wanted his lawyer, to which he responded that he had none (what a joke--people like him don't have lawyers, only the rich ones do). Then they shut him up in this little cage and left him more or less alone.

Now, day three. The reality begins to seep in, which only makes the situation that much more terrifying. As his numbness fades, he feels that familiar sense of dread settling into his body with all its heavy presence. And Kyungsoo begins to realize that no matter how long or how forcefully he closes his eyes, nothing will have changed when he opens them again. He'll still be here, in his 3-day-old clothes with his grease matted hair, lying on a rock hard bed and breathing in the sterile stench of the disinfectant they use to clean the toilet in the corner. 

Hope fades to fear, which gives way to resignation.

Ironically, for reasons he couldn't fathom, the guards seem to think that he has a pretty good deal. Every time they swing by to deliver his food, they pass him knowing smiles. You've got some connections, eh--they say with their winks and nods. Which was preposterous. After all, he was stuck here, wasn't he?

But those who knew the system knew that Kyungsoo had it pretty good. It started with his arrival--the police had actually inquired whether he wanted a lawyer rather than immediately begin their grueling investigative interview. That was almost unprecedented; the police hated having lawyers around and almost always tried to convince or trick suspects into waiving counsel. That the police would leave him alone, albeit to fester in his cell, was eye-opening for the security guards. 

Then, even more surprisingly, they had allowed him visitors. 

The first person to show up was, surprisingly, Oh Sehun.

He sat in a rolling chair in that small office in the detention center, looking less sure of himself than Kyungsoo had ever seen. Sehun stared down at his lap a lot during that meeting, refusing to meet Kyungsoo’s eyes for more than fleeting moments. In his casual college-student outfit and his uncertain glances, Kyungsoo finally saw the insecure, helpless child in his intern, which cheered him up just a little bit.

“It’s okay,” Kyungsoo said with a small, forced smile, after Sehun explained to him the situation. “It’s not your fault.”

Sehun bit his lips and clenched his long fingers into fists. “It’s not your fault, hyung. You were framed.”

The smile faded from Kyungsoo face. He felt the tears well up in his eyes so he looked down, willing the tears to go away or, at the very least, to hide them from Sehun. The younger man sighed, but didn’t know what to say. Somehow, all his usual sarcastic jabs escaped him.

“It’s because I’m so gullible,” Kyungsoo finally said after a long pause. He tried to pass it off as a joke, but anyone could hear the tremble in his voice. “That’s what you want to say right? I told you to be careful, hyung—that’s how you’d always warned me. Guess I should have listened to you.”

Sehun shook his head lightly and tentatively reached across the desk to grab one of Kyungsoo’s smaller hands. “Hyung, please. It’s not your fault. It’s just...it’s that the people who really have power are using you.”

“Using me?” Kyungsoo blinked his large eyes uncomprehendingly.

“Yeah, because you’re so...”

“So what? So dumb, right?” A self-deprecating chuckle.

“No!” Sehun protests quickly. “So...unsuspecting. Like you’d never think that someone might have an ulterior motive for approaching you or asking you to do something. There aren’t many people like that anymore.”

“I didn’t think that was a bad thing.”

“It’s not supposed to be,” Sehun conceded, “but, I don’t know. We live in a world where everyone has an ulterior motive and is always looking for opportunities to use other people to advance themselves.”

Sehun’s self-satisfied, all-knowing look finally brought a chuckle from Kyungsoo. “Ok, young grasshopper. Thanks for your enlightening wisdom.”

Sehun frowned reflexively, but when he caught sight of Kyungsoo’s genuine smile, his thin lips curled up on their own accord. “Hyung, you’ll get out of here, I promise,” he said, as if in personal oath. He gave Kyungsoo’s hand a squeeze and his gaze burned with determination.

It wasn’t much, but it made Kyungsoo feel a little bit better. He extracted his hand from Sehun’s and reached over to ruffle the younger man’s hair. “Okay, dongsaeng.”

The second person who dropped by was Chanyeol.

He looked like he was in no better shape than Kyungsoo, and in any other situation, Kyungsoo might have laughed at his unruly brown locks and the thick black circles that ringed his eyes.

“What’s up with you? You look like you haven’t slept in days.”

Chanyeol stared at Kyungsoo in consternation. “Of course I haven’t,” he said in a tired, raspy voice. “I didn’t know where you’d gone! I was so worried!”

Chanyeol quietly recounted how the police had stopped by their apartment first, how he had met them at the door, confused, bleary-eyed, and hungover. When they were certain that Kyungsoo wasn't hiding in the apartment, the pretty one who led the pack--Lu Han, was it?—motioned for them to go elsewhere, though they wouldn't disclose the location to an increasingly agitated Chanyeol. 

Until this morning, when the same Lu Han phoned Chanyeol expressly to tell him where Kyungsoo was being held.

He’d probably want you to go see him.

Wait, but why’s he there? Has he done something—

--That’s confidential. I’m only telling you this because I think he’s having a rough time and seeing a friend may help. You guys are friends, aren’t you?

Chanyeol hung his head, weighed down by a suffocating sense of shame. In a small voice and with downcast eyes, he squeaked out, “We...are still friends, right? Or would you have preferred not to see me. I’d...understand. I was just worried about you, and I still am, but I can leave if you want me to. I’ll try to help get you out in other ways—you obviously don’t belong here. But I can go.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t answer right away. In fact, he hadn’t given Chanyeol and his outcry two nights ago much thought since his own arrest. But as he takes in Chanyeol’s current visage, with all its exhaustion and guilt and shame, he remembered not the fear he’d felt two nights ago, but rather, all the happy moments they’d shared together in all the years past.

He remembered all those times Chanyeol stood up for him and stood by him in college, when anyone had dared to make fun of his short stature or his socially awkward personality.

He remembered those first days after college when they had shared ramen on a dwindling budget. It wasn’t a pleasant time by any financial measure, but it had been fun, being able to laugh with each other even in those dismal times.

And he remembered the holidays during which Chanyeol had ditched his parents to stay home with him. And even the normal days, when they’d just faffed around the apartment, doing nothing at all.

It was hard to equate that Chanyeol, with the happy smile and ready jokes, with this one who sat before him, living in a cloud of sad repentance. Kyungsoo wanted the old Chanyeol back.

“We’ll always be friends,” Kyungsoo had said quietly, but assertively. Chanyeol finally looked up again and he pinched himself as he stared at Kyungsoo, trying to figure out if this was just another of his wishful dreams or if Kyungsoo was really telling him that they were okay. Kyungsoo smiled:  “Really. Always.”

After a moment of wavering, Chanyeol finally smiled back. It’s a small and hesitant smile, but when the familiar row of pearly teeth made an appearance, Kyungsoo relaxed. At least there was Chanyeol. Chanyeol would always be there for him after all.

They spent the rest of their hour together discussing what to do and how they could get Kyungsoo out. Chanyeol voice still sounded slightly stilted and careful, but that too would pass.

When the guards finally kicked Chanyeol out, the taller man took one last look at his friend. Kyungsoo looked so small and scared that it broke Chanyeol’s heart. How much he wanted to whisk Kyungsoo away and hide him in his arms forever. He didn’t think he would ever love another person again in the way he loved Kyungsoo.

But he’ll take what Kyungsoo’s willing to give, and if Kyungsoo wanted to be friends, well, that wasn’t so bad either.

The third person Kyungsoo meets is, at last, Jongin.

Or rather, it’s Jongin, Lu Han, and a man Kyungsoo doesn’t recognize. They call him Minseok, the prosecutor.

It’s the third day, and Kyungsoo’s about to despair, when the guards let him out of his cell. They handcuff him again and drive him in a van without windows to the city center, where the government offices stood.

The prosecutor’s office is cold and Kyungsoo shivers in his thin cotton shirt as they march him into a small, dark room. It’s like something from the movies, with the desk and one-way mirrored glass. Jongin, Lu Han, and Minseok are already seated at one side of the table, notebooks ready.

From the moment he walks in, Kyungsoo only has eyes for Jongin. He locks eyes with the man and can’t look away. He doesn’t hear Minseok cough to catch his attention, nor does he pay notice to Lu Han’s impatient tapping of his pen.

Why are you doing this to me? Kyungsoo asks with his large, sad eyes. Jongin looks away.

“Do Kyungsoo-sshi?” Minseok asks, voice cold and professional. “We’re here to question you regarding your participation in the bribery of official Kim Jo Sung for illegal approval of BDT. We have here documents that show that you previously signed off on company funds to be deposited into the account of. . .”

The rest of Minseok’s words filter out as Kyungsoo stares blankly at Jongin, who still wouldn’t look at him.

I thought you asked me to trust you.

I thought you wanted to run away with me.

I was just beginning to wonder if maybe, just maybe, this time would be different.  

At some point in his train of thoughts, Kyungsoo feels the need to laugh. What could he do but laugh at his own stupidity? Sehun was right; he was blind to ulterior motives.

Fool me twice, and shame on me.

Jongin finally looks at Kyungsoo again as the latter lets out a fit of laughter. Jongin's face is full of incredulity, then guilt. Had Kyungsoo looked carefully, he might have seen the plea in Jongin’s eyes. But it was too late for that; he didn’t want to look at Jongin any longer.

Minseok sighs impatiently; they really didn’t pay him enough for dealing with these crazies. To his side, Lu Han smiles at him soothingly and suggests, “Maybe I should have a moment alone with him. I think I know what to say, and you and Jongin might just be aggravating him more.”

Jongin whips around to glare at Lu Han. “You ing bastard, I’m not leaving you alone with him again—”

“—No Jongin, I think Lu Han’s right. You’re obviously not helping the situation. Come on, let’s go take a break.”

Minseok, with surprisingly strong arms, manhandles a protesting Jongin out of the room.

And so there he was again, alone with Lu Han.

Lu Han drops his smile and looks at Kyungsoo seriously. “I’m sorry.”

Kyungsoo’s laughter slowly fades and for the first time since he walked into the room, he turns his gaze on Lu Han. “Sorry for what?”

“We just need to get Kris, that’s all. The documents were the only proof we had that there was any sort of malfeasance going on. I’m sorry we had to drag you in.”

“I see.”

He didn’t see. Not at all.

“Can you tell us anything else at all about these money transfers? When did you first start signing them? Did Kris order you to do it?”

“I’m sure he did. I didn’t read—”

“You read as carefully as you could,” Lu Han cuts in quickly. “Didn’t you?” He scribbles something on the papers in front of him, which he turns towards Kyungsoo.

Don’t admit to negligence. They can hear us.

Kyungsoo sighs. What’s the point? “Ok. I read carefully. But I’m sure he asked me to sign it. He knows the accounts much better than me. He has ultimate authority.”

“Yes, that’s good. We’ll type up an affidavit of that nature and have you sign it. But we’ll probably need more. Details, that sort of thing. Do you remember—”

But Kyungsoo’s mind was fading away again. He didn’t remember. He wanted to get out of here. He was so angry at himself.

“Why do you keep using me?” he asks suddenly, interrupting Lu Han’s string of questions.

“What?”

But Kyungsoo isn’t looking at Lu Han anymore. He’s staring just past, into the one-way glass. He knows Jongin’s on the other side, watching them, listening.

“Is it funny?” he asks in a broken voice. “I know I don’t really have friends, or even family. I know no one wants someone like me in their lives. But I’ve always tried to mind my own business and be a good person...” Tears glide down from his large unblinking eyes. He finishes in a whisper. “So why do you keep using me?”

Why?

Why! 

“I hate you.”

Behind the glass, Jongin chants a thousand apologies as his heart breaks in half. 

Hours later, Kris Wu is brought to the same interrogation room.  He has his lawyer in tow, an absent-minded looking Chinese man named Zhang Yi Xing. He objects to every question in a half-hearted way, as if he could care less about the whole ordeal. But behind his stoned gaze, he hides a genius intelligence. He had evidently coached Kris to skate through the questions unscathed.

It’s just Jongin doing the questioning this time, because he had looked so broken and angry when they brought Kris in that Minseok caved and let him do the grilling even though he was obviously emotionally unstable. Minseok and Lu Han watched from behind the glass, both feeling increasingly uncertain about the situation.

“Listen, we know you’re the perpetrator. You’re the one who authorized the fund transfers,” Jongin growls through gritted teeth.

Kris shrugs elegantly. “How do you know? Because my accountant told you? But his is the only signature on the contract. I know nothing. He’s an autonomous agent.”

“Just own up to it, you ing bastard—” Jongin begins to yell, before Yi Xing cuts in with a quick, “I object.”

Jongin takes a deep breath and suppresses the impulse to strangle the lawyer. He also wants to punch Kris’s face in when he catches the latter smirk at him.

“You know,” Kris adds. “I offered you a deal once. You chose not to take it.”

Jongin feels sick to his stomach.

Because it was true. There had been a way. If he had just loved Kyungsoo a little bit more. If he had just...

“But I’ll offer you another one,” Kris says, voice contemplative. “How about this? I’ll admit what you want me to admit if you just...oh I don’t know...kneel to the ground and my shoes?”

Jongin doesn't move. 

“Oh, or is that too much for your pride? Of course it is. It’s only a matter of getting Kyungsoo off the hook. That’s nothing to be shoes over.”

Jongin stares hard at Kris and his malicious smile. Then, he gets out of his chair and descends to his knees.

Kyungsoo. He’s all that really matters. He's all that should have ever mattered. He deserves this. 

The door to the room opens and Lu Han traipses in before Jongin could crawl over to Kris. Lu Han grabs Jongin by the shoulder and tries to haul him up.

“Let me go,” Jongin says quietly. “I need to do this! He’ll admit to it if I just—”

“Don’t be stupid!” Lu Han yells as he forcibly drags Jongin up from the ground. “He’s just trying to shame you. He’s not going to admit to anything. Get the up!”

“No you wouldn’t understand! I’m doing it for Kyungsoo!”

“Shut up,” Lu Han growls. “This isn’t about Kyungsoo. You’re just doing it for yourself, so that you can say you did something to feel less guilty. You know better than anyone he won’t give us for his shoes, you dumb . Now get the hell out of here!”

As Lu Han shoves him out of the room, Jongin begins to cry for the first time in years.

“Why do I keep hurting him?” he asks in a whisper.

“I don’t know why it wasn’t just you and me in the first place,” Kris says with a grin as Lu Han takes a seat across from him.

Lu Han doesn’t smile back.

“Oh come on,” Kris jeers, “I thought you were all about the friendly camaraderie.”

“You played your cards wrong,” Lu Han says calmly. He ignores Yi Xing’s I object and Kris’s quizzical gaze. “I loved Kyungsoo once, but never enough to let you get away with this so that I can save him. You shouldn’t have let me see the documents.”

“I see.”

“And Kyungsoo knows this. That’s why he never loved me back.”

Kris looks more attentive now, though he tries to hide it.

“Kyungsoo can see right through me. You know why he loved Jongin, but never gave me a second thought?”

“...Why?”

“Because he could feel it somehow. That Jongin was capable of loving him back in that selfless, all-consuming way that I’m could never achieve.”

Lu Han smiles wistfully at Kris. “He’ll never love me. He knows in the end, between love for him and my own self-interest, I’d always choose to be selfish. I don’t deserve his love.”

Kris stares back at Lu Han expressionlessly.

"Oh, but that's you too isn't it?" Lu Han finishes with an innocent smile. 

And Lu Han knows Kris thinking hard, knows he’s weighing the pros and the cons and coming to a decision. And Lu Han knows he’ll come to the decision that Lu Han wants, because no one can beat him at these games.

***

This just in, Kris Wu, the President of Wu Di Group has confessed to bribing Kim Jo Sung of the Ministry of Food and Drugs for premature approval of the BDT drug that has caused so many deaths in recent months. Prosecutor Kim Minseok is arguing the case for the government and trial will commence next months. Legal experts speculate that Kris Wu and Kim Jo Sung will be sentenced to a number of years in prison and Wu Di Group will have to pay a fine of . . . .

Minseok takes a bite of his apple as he listens to the morning news. Between munches, he asks, “How’d you get him to confess?”

Lu Han shrugs with a smile. “It’s not such a bad deal for him. When he gets out of jail, the parent corporation will probably promote him for taking the hit, and he can tell the love of his life that he’d sacrificed everything for him.”

“Huh.”

“What can I say? Men in love do stupid things.”

***

“Kyungsoo, over here!”

Kyungsoo’s eyes take a moment to adjust to the bright light before he catches sight of Chanyeol. He smiles and trots over to the latter, who welcomes him with a tight hug.

“You ready to go home?”

“Am I ready.” Kyungsoo grins wider and allows himself to hang onto Chanyeol just a moment longer, squeezing his arms around the taller man’s strong torso and burying his face into his chest. He takes a deep breath and lets Chanyeol’s clean scent overtake him. Chanyeol ruffles his hair soothingly. He feels safe.

Kyungsoo lets go and laughs as Chanyeol clambers onto his bike.

“Really, you couldn’t even like rent a car or something to take me home?”

“Sorry man,” Chanyeol says sheepishly as he pats the back seat of his bike. “I haven’t been showing up for work so money’s running tight.”

Kyungsoo stares into Chanyeol’s face and notes his unconcealable exuberance, even though he’s lost his job. “Thank you, Chanyeol,” he says solemnly.

Chanyeol ruffles his hair again. “What are you talking about? Nothing’s more important than you.”

Kyungsoo blinks his large eyes and stands motionless for a few moments.

Nothing’s more important than you.

He looks down so that Chanyeol can’t see the tears well up in his eyes.

He wants to believe him.

He thinks he can.

As they ride away out of the parking lot, Kyungsoo takes one more look at that prison he’s lived in for four and a half days. In his sweeping gaze, he catches sight of that familiar, tall figure standing at the side of the building. He’s too far to see clearly, but he knows that man’s watching him too.

He takes a deep breath and smiles.

Then he waves goodbye.

***

“You aren’t going to explain anything to him?”

Jongin blinks. His eyes feel dry for staring too long, so long that Kyungsoo had already disappeared from sight.

He turns to Lu Han and says despondantly, “I don’t deserve the chance. Kyungsoo deserves better.”

“I hope he finds happiness.”

When you leave,
weary of me,
without a word I shall gently let you go.

From Mount Yak
in Yongbyon,
I shall gather armfuls of azaleas
and scatter them on your way.

Step by step
on the flowers placed before you
tread lightly, softly as you go.

When you leave,
weary of me,
though I die, I'll not let one tear fall.

Azaleas by Kim So-wol

***The END????***

Oh em gee friends, I finished! Thanks so much sticking by and reading, and hope it wasn't too disappointing. This is my first finished chapter fic like EVER so I'm super excited.

Also, epilogue forthcoming? But not sure, b/c I'm about to take exams and start my summer job, so it might take awhile. But regardless, thank you so so much  <3