Sorry Not Sorry I puked on Your EX Boyfriend

You Caught Me Like No Other

 

I don’t remember a lot after puking all over Kyungsoo.

I think to myself while I lay on my bed in the dark. I know it’s my bed, I know I’m in my dorm and I can hear Sehun snoring at the other end of the room. One of my many questions is just how did I end up here.

I remember of course puking all over Kyungsoo.
like I’d forget something like that.

 

I also remember there were a lot shocked gasping, a scream from Kyungsoo which wasn’t surprising, and just as I felt myself teetering around the stage, about to fall over I caught the look of murder in his eyes as he glared at me, teeth gritting down and probably cursing my entire existence but he’s far too late for that.

Then I think felt a pair of hands hold me, another bunch carry me off the stage, lots of yelling and panicking and I think I tried to say something but I was barely holding onto what consciousness I had left. My eyes growing heavy with every second, my stomach still churning violently ready to vomit all over again. At some point I caught sight of Sehun’s worried expression, Yifan yelling at the others and though I should be grateful to have friends carry me to the men’s room and all.

I couldn’t help but wonder where Kai was this entire time.

I’m still wondering where is he even now? Back at his place sleeping maybe.

And who the let me drink so much cheap beer and eat three servings of chicken wings?

Oh yeah that was me.

me.

After puking a second or fourth time into the dirty men’s room toilet and sink at the karaoke bar I felt a lot better. Well as good as anyone who had just publicly embarrassed themselves, and puked on their crush’s ex boyfriend could of course.

I feel great. Well at least I don’t want to violently throw my guts up anymore.

 

Tonight shouldn’t really be a surprise to me or anyone who knows me

I let out a sigh and pull myself up and throw the dull ache in my head and thick fog from the hangover I can already feel happening, I try to remember what happened only about five or so hours earlier. I checked the clock by my beside, its like only 12:00 am.

Bits and pieces of just a few hours continue to resurface in my mind. A lot Sehun and Yifan yelling at me about being stupid and if I was okay. But who would be okay after puking on stage on their current crush/potential boyfriend’s ex boyfriend.

Man those were good wings though.

I remember Yifan carrying me to the men’s bathroom to finish puking, I think I may or may have not have puked on him too. I hope not cause surely he’ll kill me tomorrow or something along those lines. I also sorta remember Sehun dragging me, literally dragging me through the hallway to our dorm. Explains the ing carpet burn on my arms. I will get him for that tomorrow. But what I want to know is where the was Kai the entire time?

Did he stay behind with Kyungsoo? Did he leave angry or ashamed to have maybe liked a complete embarrassment of a human being? Did he finally realize that I was way too out of his league and my skill to fail incredibly at everything was too much for him to handle?

Does he hate me now?

 

I mean throwing up on ex’s might be funny but also a bit excessive.

I know Kai still cares about Kyungsoo, and I get it. So he’d probably be pissed.

 

Even if it was funny.

I pull myself up, not without getting dizzy of course but after a minute or two I’m able to see straight again. (Well). I try to look around for my phone, and I find it somewhere under the tangled mess of my bed sheets, grabbing it victoriously after finding it I unlock the screen and see to my very ing surprise.

 

20 Text Messages From Kai
7 missing calls with 3 voicemails.

There's this sliver of hope inside me, this little candle light of hope that flickers in my chest as I read over each message asking me if I was okay and if I made back to the dorm alright. I just couldn’t help but feel a smile crawl its way back to my lips.

I can’t stop my fingers from beginning to type away at a text message, I think it’d be good to let him know I’m alive and breathing just fine.

 

‘I’m okay. Kinda. Sorta I guess.’

Its lame and I want to delete but of course my thumb slips the up and hits send instead. I just want to scream really loudly but I settle for wailing internally for now. In that very second I see that Kai has already read the message. Had he been waiting all night to hear back from me?

God my heart just ing flutters against my chest so loudly and violently, I might just puke again.

Right then though my phone goes vibrates in my hand very loudly and I swear my heart just pooped its pants, I glance around as if I’m being so ing sneaky but Sehun is still knocked the out and James is curled up at the end of my bed sleeping very peacefully. I unlock my phone again and stare at the message and start to sweat.

 

What the do I say?
 

 

‘What do you mean? Are you still sick or…?’

Honestly maybe I’m still drunk because my fingers just type away without any of my consent and when its the morning I’m totally calling this some post drunk vomiting texting. I am not in my right mind.

‘I stopped puking but I want to see you.’

 

This time I do let out a tiny scream when Kai reads it the second after it's sent again. Because Oh my ing cheese ball on a stick.

Actually sounds kinda good. I think I’m hungry.

My phone vibrates again and with shaky fingers I unlock the screen before chucking my phone right across the room and hearing it hit the door with a loud “THUD” after reading his reply;

 

‘I’m on my way.’

 

Okay Luhan you’ve really ed yourself this time. But before that I need to brush my ing teeth like right ing now. So I literally jump out of my bed, and then proceed to nearly slip/trip over my rug. But you know gravity decided to save me this one time and I managed to get to the sink in my dorm room, and brush the out my teeth. Kai already saw me throw up on stage he did not to smell the stench of regurgitated hot wings and beer. Not even I needed that .

So when my breath is fresh and minty, cause I may or may now swallowed some mouth wash which maybe have not been the best idea but whatever. I’ll probably live. Maybe.

And then I run out of the building all the way to the parking lot because adrenaline and its actually a really nice night and I think I might just have a panic attack seeing the pick up truck only serval feet away from me.

Kai hops out of the truck gracefully, slamming the door close and I don’t think he expected to see me there at the edge of the parking lot hunched over coughing up a lung. I’m not in shape.

“I thought you said you stopped throwing up.” he says with a slight grin when I pull myself together, and he looks so good with his eyes twinkling like the stars above our heads.

 

“I just….I- Do you hate me?” I’m stumbling over my words, and I still feel breathless, I’m sure that his smile has stolen the breath right from my lungs and I’m just dangling.

 

“Hate you? Why would I- Do you mean cause you puked all over Kyungsoo?” he asks with a small tilt of his head, his lips curved into this unreadable grin and eyes hinting of mischief. He just leans in so close to me I can barely register the moment his hands take me by the waist, pulling me in so close.

“Honestly as gross as it was, it was ing awesome. You’re constantly blowing my mind Luhan, you’re literally the most amazing person I’ve ever had the privilege of meeting.” He whispers softly, his words causes these warm sweet tingles to tickle my skin, and I can feel my heart just thumping against my chest surely Kai can feel it too. He has too, it's so loud and hard and ‘m just so happy.

“r-Really? You’re kidding right? I mean….I-I’m such a clutz and a dork and I think about cats all the time, are you sure-” I’m babbling like an idiot and Kai shuts me right up with his sweet thick lips kissing me under the stars for a second time but still so ing great.

I still see more stars behind my eyelids while we kiss, than in the entire night sky.

The kiss is so sweet and soft, just a gentle touch of lips that last for what could have been forever and forever. Well I wished at least, but Kai slowly pulls away and his eyes flutter open to stare down at me with a warm smile.

“So is that why you wanted to see me?” he asks with a cheeky grin, and I sort of forget how to talk. Nothing new.

“I just….I just needed to know you still sorta liked me….I mean if you do..” I mumble quickly and I feel so hot, like I’m sweating and pretty sure blushing. Kai just chuckles and lays a small peck on my lips.

“Well your lips don’t taste like puke. Thanks for that cause I really wanted to kiss you. Since the moment you stepped out of your room looking like most gorgeous man I have ever seen. When you hit that one high note during the song and demolished Kyungsoo and even right after you puked on him.” he says, and I’m mentally fist pumping cause yeah dental hygiene.

 

“If you wanted to kiss me so bad….why didn’t you?” I can’t help but stupidly ask, I can feel Kai hold me tighter and he lets out a small sigh and I glance up at him and I think the street lights need to be fixed cause it looks like he’s blushing.

“Well Sehun was all over you I didn’t know how to handle that….and you were still singing I didn’t want to interupt. And you’re the best kisser ever but I’m not too fond of the flavor of puke.” He explains in a small timid voice, and takes everything in me not to squeal.

I am not going to squeal.
I am a man.
But Kai is so ing cute.

“But where were you after everything went down?” I ask another probably stupid question and he lets out another sigh.

“Sehun and Yifan hauled you off to the bathroom so you could you know puke some more and get cleaned up, but I felt kinda bad for Kyungsoo and so I stayed behind to help him out.” he mumbled and then I felt my insides tighten in a very painful way.

 

“Also I’m sorry not sorry for throwing up on your crazy ex.” I say with a very determined nod because I was not sorry at all.

I hear him laugh. That ing laugh, it just makes my insides bubble in the best ways. Which is weird, maybe I’m gonna puke again I’m not sure.

“Luhan what me and Kyungsoo had is over, no matter how many sing-offs there are or how many times you puke on him. We’re done. You are my future Luhan.” he says softly. I just feel so ing good.

 

This time I lean in and kiss him.

I see galaxies behind my eyes because I just know it.

I really like Kai.

“You are my now.” I mumble against his lips, and I feel his smile on my lips.

ing nailed it.

“Hey its against Campus rules to be out in the parking lot this late. Head back to your dorms or else.” a random as campus security yells at us.

 

“Dude we’re trying to have a moment.” Kai grumbles all grumpily and it is adorable and I just kiss his nose and he looks at me with a smile and I could literally melt into a puddle of useless goo right here right now in the parking lot but I don’t think the security dude would appreciate that.

So I just take Kai’s hand and lace my fingers together with each of his, never will I get over how nice it feels to hold his hand. I give him a small tug, grinning up at him.

We totally had a moment.

I didn’t it up.

do I like Kai.

 

Really ing like him.

“Come on I’m feeling for some late night tacos.” I say while pulling him towards the truck and he just chuckles trailing behind me.

“I’ll buy you all the tacos you want.”

I knew I chose my soulmate very well.
I mean crush, boyfriend, person who kisses really really good.

I can only applaud myself for not saying any of this out loud.

“I also want nachos, and extra cheese.”

“So you can it off his face princess peach? You’re ing sick.” ChanYeol yells out from the truck.

“What the actual ?”

“Its his truck he wouldn’t let me use unless he got to come with.” Kai gives a sheepish shrug and all is forgiven until I see ChanYeol staring at me weirdly.

ChanYeol just smirks at me as I climb up to hump seat again.

 

Stupid truck. Stupid hump. Stupid ChanYeol.
I hate everything.
Except Kai.

 

My phone starts ringing and it actually still works, I answer it and immediately regret it.

“Where the are you, you shrimpy lightweight bastard.” is all I hear from the other end.

“If I buy you taco bell will you not murder me tonight?”

Theres a very long almost nerv wrecking pause. Cause its Sehun.

“Fine.”

“Cool meet us out of the gates, we’re in a pickup.” I say and Sehun just grunts bunch of nonsense before hanging up.

Great late night improvised third date, and half the gang is tagging along.

ChanYeol drives out of the parking lot and towards the gate where a sleepy still in pajamas Sehun is waiting with a frown. We have to rearrange our seating and I find myself sitting on Sehun’s lamp, frowning.

“I want like twelve tacos and one chalupa.” he announces and I just roll my eyes.

 

“Just one chalupa?” ChanYeol questions along with Kai’s raised brow.

 

“Just one ing chalupa.” Sehun grunts and purposely starts poking me so I just flail around and almost make us crash the truck. Again.

“Alright lets just get on with this impending trainwreck.” I grumble to myself.

About ten minutes later we’re at the nearby Taco Bell and we’re greeted by Yixing at the counter, Yifan along side RA Suho.

 

Karma is getting me back for throwing up on Kyungsoo.

I’m still not sorry.

Ch.6 END

 

I finally updated.
I feel like dying from how tired I am. its 5:35a,m
I hope you enjoyed this hot mess.
Thank you for Subscribing and Commenting. Also all the upvotes mean a lot.
Please Comment and Subcribe. Tell me how ed you think Luhan is in the next chapter.
Kailu is life.
Sorry for mistkaes my face hurts rn
Good night, love you all

 

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Comments

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ohelss
#1
Chapter 6: this story is really cute and i just loved it so much!
hope you update soon :)
swagatron #2
Chapter 6: This fic is literally so good!! <3 please update soon~
wildvampire
#3
Chapter 6: MY HEART POOPED OMG THAT WAS THE BEST PART MAN I DIEEEED LAUGHING!!
and i love u
Thanks sis ♡♡♡♡♡
DeerLove
#4
Chapter 6: This is sooooo cute. ^^
Hahhaa, kailu and the gang
DeerLove
#5
Chapter 6: This is sooooo cute. ^^
Hahhaa, kailu and the gang
ZaulieIZzy #6
Chapter 5: LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!! please update this gold!!! I tell you!! Gold!! It 2 in the morning and I can't stop laughing!!
wildvampire
#7
Chapter 5: He ong vomitted on him omgggg
kukaii
#8
Chapter 4: Oh maaan, what would we do without a sassy Luhan jamming to NoNoNo. =)))))