“Oh my gosh kitty you’re so dumb pffffft~” I pointed at the screen while laughing my ing head off cause holy ing Jesus cheese balls cats are funny. Not just funny but hilarious and I was going to make it my mission to sneak one into the dorm.

 

“I swear to all the gay on my dash if you don’t stop watching cat videos I’m going to get you an iguana for your birthday.” Sehun said from his side of the room, his eyes not even leaving his screen as he scrolled by more gay.

 

“Ew no, I don’t want another creepy cold blooded thing I already have you.” I answered with a eating grin towards Sehun who scowled at me.

 

That got me a pillow in the face.

 

But it was worth it.

 

HAHA.

 

“Sehun we are getting a cat.”

 

“We’re not naming it Juan or Pedro Luhan I swear I’ll throw a taco at you.” Sehun and gave me one of his serious looks that I rarely took seriously. Because it was ing Oh Dumb Sehun, and taking him seriously was painful most of the time.

 

“What about Pablo?”

 

“You’re getting a taco to the face.”

 

“Sehun you’re so racist. IT SHALL BE NAMED JAMES THE THIRD.” I yelled remembering the best name for a cat.

 

“The third? What happened to the first and second?” he looked towards my side of the room with a questioning look.

 

And now its time for another segment of Luhan’s Shame.

 

“....they were imaginary….” I turned around in shame while mumbling, yes when I was little I didn’t have friends so I made imaginary cats up and named them James.

 

“I’m telling Kai you had imaginary cats.” Sehun said with a ty eating grin as he opened facebook up, he had facebook stalked his account the other night for me after my date with Kai which I will talk about after I kill Sehun in bloody murder.

 

“Sehun if you love your best friend you would not.” I growled while leaping over to his side like mother ing spider man.

 

I’ll kill him.

 

I’ll destroy him.

 

Better yet I’ll take away his Bubble tea coupon card and change his laptop’s password and Tumblr password.

 

Then watch him slowly whiter in pain, and then DIE.

 

“But I don’t love you like at all, I tolerate you at best.” He answers while clicking away at his stupid laptop.

 

This little will die.

 

“Sehunnie~ if you love living then I suggest you don’t because I’ll destroy you” I growled at him while climbing up his lofted bed, desperate to stop him. Because the thought of Kai knowing I was that much of fail as a human being made me want to cry and punch Sehun in his stupid face.

 

Seriously even back then I was a total fail. I’ve lived such a sad life, and its not really any better now because instead of imaginary cats I have this thing I call a friend who is trying to annihilate my chances with the most iest man on earth.

 

Sehun then stopped typing and stared at his screen with a raised brow, I looked at him confused and then at his screen. Kai’s relationship status was posted as “it’s complicated.”

 

“What the is so complicated?” Sehun cussed while I stared at the screen, kinda like dumb struck dodo bird or a dumb Sehun. Because really what the is so complicated?

 

And commence panic mode.

 

“Did I happen to steal someone’s boyfriend?” I asked out loud after five minutes of silence along with Sehun cussing at FailBook.

 

“Please, what you’re Mr. Snatch yo boy now?” Sehun rolled his eyes and then my eyes glanced at the colorful paragraph Sehun was seconds away from posting on Kai’s wall. But I slapped his hand away before he could.

 

“Don’t.”

 

Sehun stared at me as if I was stupid, I was sort of use to the look but I simply shook my head.

 

“I’ll ask him about it in person.”

 

Or just avoid him at all cost.

Just pretend like yesterday didn’t happen.

 

Like every day since I’ve met him didn’t happen.

 

Every heart flutter, blush, thought smiles, touch, choke, trip.

 

All of didn’t happen.

 

Because it was a lot easier to pretend like none of that existed than delude myself in the thought that maybe it was complicated because I came into the picture and by some sort of holy grail miracle Kai chose me over whoever it was that made things complicated.

 

It would save me the greater hurt later I’d feel than what I feel right now.

 

Because I should have seen this coming.

 

Sehun wasn’t a terrible friend, because I soon as I started acting like the brave little warrior he didn’t buy it but he didn’t call me out on it cause he knew it’d make me feel worse. Which it would so instead he started tugging on my sleeve.

 

“Come on we’re gonna go get us a cat.” he smiled slightly, and ruffled my hair which I usually hated but found comforting at the moment.

 

“And we’ll name him James the Third.” he added while pulling me away from his laptop.

That made me smile. Sehun wasn’t terrible, there were a few reasons why I kept the little brat around.

 

We both hopped off the bed, and then into our shoes. It wasn’t too late so we were pretty sure a pet somewhere had to be open.

 

People like me (especially Sehun shh)  don’t get good looking people, they get cats.

 

And that was exactly what we were gonna do.

 

Cats are better anyway.

 

So about three hours later, I am holding what I like to call my new child. James a three month old tabby orange kitten with bright clear eyes. The definition of cuteness.

 

I look down at his bright blue eyes, and he mews at me. I squeal like a little girl.

 

“ you’re so cute I could throw Sehun off a bridge.”

 

“Hey! Don’t swear in front of my child!”

 

“Don’t yell in front of my child!”

 

And that started a sissy fight with a little kitten in between.

 

I swear to you we’re men.

 

Manly men.

 

Who do manly things like fight over kittens.

 

“Ow.” Sehun said, and looked down at his arm down bleeding, I blinked a few times and looked down at James who just looked back at us innocently.

 

“I think he just scratched me.” Sehun’s was all wide eyes, and then looking down at his scratch with wince. It was a pretty big scratch for a kitten.

 

“Told you he was mine.” I sneered as Sehun glared at both me and my baby.

 

HAH take that DumbHun.

 

“Get over it. I’ll give you a hello kitty bandaid once we get back to the dorm.”

 

“Speaking of, how are we getting the devil cat pass Suho and Kris?” Sehun asked and that earned him another scratch as if James knew he was being insulted.

 

My baby is smart and fierce.

 

Just like his owner….

 

No comments. I said no comments!

 

“Easy. All we need is Lay.”

 

Lay was the best person to use against Suho because the poor guy had a crush on the boor dazed and blazed unicorn obsessed dimple abuser. And Kris well, he was best friends with Lay and knew of the things he did with ChanYeol, so he could get in trouble for that. So there was no need to worry.

 

“Right. Usings friends is the way to go.”

 

“Always Sasshun. Always.”

And for some reason James scratched Sehun again, which made me laugh as we walked down the hallway and into our room. Not a soul taking notice of James.

 

Man I love this cat.

 

“ we bought the devil’s spawn cat!” Sehun cried out after the fifth or sixth unjust scratch, he was covered in tiny claw marks and hello kitty bandaids from his arms, cheeks, and legs. Which looked really funny, so I took a picture and tagged him on facebook. Let all our good friends have a good laugh.

 

“I knew I should’ve gotten you a lizard.” he frowned at me and James.

 

“No. James is perfect and he’s my spirit animal.” I said proudly while holding James closer making him my cheek. I squealed again.

 

I should stop squealing like a little girl.

But then again cute fur ball in my arms is not making that possible.

 

“I swear one day I’ll just loose all my and it’ll because of you and little ing satan there and then I’ll throw you both off bridges.”

 

James meowed at Sehun innocently while padding his tiny warm little paws on my chest making me giggle with glee, he was so cute and cuddly.

 

“Don’t worry James you’re mine now so I won’t Butthun bother you.” I gently petted his head while he mewed softly bringing a smile to my lips.

 

Minutes later we were all hush quiet with sweet sleep, James curled up on my chest and Sehun on his bed mumbling in his sleep about satan kitties attacking him.

 

Except I wasn’t asleep. I was thinking about things I shouldn’t but couldn’t help to..

 

My date with Kai, seemed to be replying in my subconscious like an old video. Slow and silent so small moments were caught in the silence so perfectly just making it all so much more unbearable. Like the way he smiled at me so beautiful so sincerely I could totally fall for it. And I almost really did. The way his eyes turned into small crescents that would close completely for a second when he laughed, and the skin of his warm hand felt so great against mine, the way his thumb rubbed against my palm making me tingle in a funny good sort of way. The way that he left me hoping only to let down.

 

The entire date had gone on so flawlessly, going out to coffee which was my favorite. Talking about books, music, dancing and other great things we both had in common. Sharing a few sweets and pastries over coffee, laughing at dumb jokes and story. So perfect, too perfect maybe that is why I needed a wake up call before he fell too far in deep with the sweet tempting fantasy that I might have found my prince or whatever.

 

Whatever made things complicated, I didn’t want to be apart of. I didn’t want drama with anyone’s baby mama or whatever. I just thought for once it’d be nice to actually date someone. So much for that. I’m better off just with my little James and that thing snoring I call a best friend.

 

My thoughts were hushed by soft nuzzles from James, finally letting me sleep.

 

And then a few hours later that was what woke me up along to soft mews and to my cheeks. And then my own personal wake up call I’m accustomed to;

 

“Wake up you little , and you too you little satanic cat beast.” Sehun snarled as he made his way to the bathroom, James hissed at him making me smile after a good yawn. I patted his head softly.

 

“Sleep well James?”

 

Mew

 

“I’m glad baby.”

 

Mew mew mew.

 

I then got down from my bed, followed by James. I started to get dress, washed my face and teeth all with James at my feet. I grabbed my bag and laptop. I waited for Sehun, and then walked out for breakfast, James still followed at my feet.

 

“Should we do something about the clingy mini devil following you?” Sehun glared at the little tabby padding along my side, swishing his cute little tail side to side with such sass.

 

So cute. I could die.

 

“He’s not clingy or a mini devil Sehun this is why you get ed up by a kitten.” I grumbled and then caught sight of the last person I wanted to see. Sehun seemed to catch sight of him too because he suddenly directed the most deadly glare I have ever seen him give any living thing.

 

See he isn’t a complete face.

 

“YAH KAI YOU BASTARD!”.

 

Nevermind he’s a complete stupid face dummy.

 

“Idiot don’t.” I gritted through my teeth seeing Kai walking towards us with a confuse look, cause why the would anyone call that perfect human being a bastard. Oh right “it's complicated.”

 

“Hey Luhan did you get your phone fixed? I’ve been wanting to talk to you ever since saturday. Hey Sehun.” Kai’s lips curled into a sweet smile as he looked at us but then leaned towards giving me a small peck on my cheek making my heart stop and then go all at once, he could kill me so easily, suddenly then his attention was brought towards the most adorable thing in the entire world (minus him). His face lit up like a mother ing christmas tree which didn'y help my heart at all, he knelt down and reached out to James to pet him.

 

“And who's this cutie pi-”

 

James then proceeded to scratch Kai’s face off.

 

Satan you sold me your cat didn’t you?

 

Thank you.

Ch.2 End

 

 

 

So new chapter up!

Welcome in James the kitty! And yes that gif up there is what James looks like.

He's a little cutie with a thing for clawing off anything and everyone who isn't Luhan. Because....well Luhan is special lol

But you're all probably wondering what is so "complicated" with Kai, right? WELL yer gonna have to wait.

I hope you enjoyed Sass Hun and Lu together haha they're too much together.

Thank you for the comments and subcribers~! and upvotes~ love you all <3333

Please subscribe, comment and upvote~! <333

Sorry for mistakes and not enough KaiLu here, next chapter I promise~!

LATER HOMES