˝Jongdae is.... he's alright, but he's lost a lot of blood and they don't know if he'll wake up.˝ Sehun somehow managed to mutter out the words still shaking in fear of Jongdae not waking up. He of course wanted his hyung to wake up, but he's somehow consumed by the thoughts of Jongdae not waking up. 

Minseok on the other hand wasn't hearing Sehun's word. After reading the letter he was to busy thinking about it. How could he have never noticed Jongdaes' behavior? Did he actually forget Jongdae? He was shocked to say the least. He sighed and then heard what Sehun had said, thanking god that Jongdae was still alive and breathing. So that means that there is hope and time for Minseok to comprehend Jongdae's feelings for him. 

Love is what gets you hurt the most, that's what Jongdae learnt. Loosing somebody hurts as much as onesided love. Love is full or regrets of what you didn't do that you think you should. But there is just not enough time to do it because before you know it, it's gone and you cannot reach it. That's how Jongdae couldn't reach Minseok and he regrets not saying anything, maybe it would make his life easier and less painful, but what's done is done. 

That night after Jongdaes' stunt everyone went to bed, but one of them couldn't close his eyes knowing he was at fault for not noticing.

A few days passed and Jongdae has woken up, but he was a total different person. No word let his mouth, nothing at all. Suho had tried to talk to him, but Jongdae was too busy looking out the window wishing he was indeed dead. What was bothering him more than that was the fact that Minseok had probably read his goodbye letter because Suho talked to him about it. Still Jongdae stayed quiet, thinking of how was he going to confront Minseok, but he wasn't actually afraid of that he was afraid of Minseoks reaction. 

Two weeks passed and he was driving in the car with the manager who stayed quiet though he wanted to speak, but he knew he couldn't. Jongdae looked outside the window, looking at the cars passing and the people inside minding their own business. He watched as skyscrapers disappeared out of his sight one by one, wishing he was one of the disappearing ones. His stomach was doing weird flips and he was feeling nauseous the closer they got to the dorm which meant he had to be eyes to eyes with Minseok. 

Once arriving at the dorm, Jongdae slowly got out of the car and walked inside the dorm building and up the stairs keeping his eyes on the ground. Being face to face with the dorm door he never wanted more than to run away and never come back. He didn't want to go inside because for him it's full of memories of the one he loved for so long. With a sigh he opened the door and walked inside. The first to hug him was Sehun, he was shocked by that, after Sehun, Baekhyun joined. After Baekhyun, Lay, Chanyeol, Suho, Kris, Tao, Jongin and Kyungsoo joined in. The only two missing were Luhan and Minseok. 

Jongdae was somehow dissapointed by it, but at the same time he wasn't exactly surprised. He silently wished that Minseok would hug him, but in the back of his mind he kept repeating that it wouldn't happen, no matter what. His eyes scanned s faces and he felt guilt arise from him, the feeling he didn't know would exist, but he felt it.

˝I'm... sorry...˝ He breathed out with a sad smile on his face. He once again scanned over s faces his eyes stopping on Minseoks' face, but he was quick enough to look away not daring to see his reaction. He wasn't ready for that. 

˝ Don't be... It'll be okay.˝ Baekhyun said with a smile hugging his close friend once again, only this time Jongdae hugged back thanking his understanding members (except for Luhan because he hated him and Minseok because he broke him). Baekhyun broke the hug and dragged him to the kitchen where the table was filled with different types of food for him and others. 

˝DINNER!˝ Chanyeol voiced out with excitment his deep voice radiating trough the walls. Everyone was seated down around the table even Luhan who for some reason kept giving him the stink eye whenever he looked Minseok's way (which he was doing a lot, but couldn't stop). Maybe he wanted to know, but he didn't. He was confused.

The members started eating whatever was closes to them and for the first time in a long time Jongdae picked up a big slice of pizza that had a hell of a lot of cheese. He wasn't complaining he loved when pizzas had a lot of cheese on them. Jongdae smiled and Baekhyun already made a smart remark about Jongdae smiling on what he got slapped behind the head by none other than Kyungsoo. Baekhyun pouted but laughed when he heard Jongdae's silent laugh.

That evening, night was filled with only good memories and laughs for Jongdae until he decided to go to bed when he was stopped by Minseok. The smile he had a while ago vanished as he felt a small hand on his shoulder.

˝I'm sorry Jongdae. I really am... Let's start again eh?˝ Minseok said to him with a small hopeful smile on his face and Jongdae wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

˝ Screw your sorry... Starting again is not an option... It's not a game that you can start over hyung.˝ Poison was dripping from Jongdaes mouth. Minseok's smile vanished in a matter of second and was replaced by a sad face. Jongdae wanted to hug him and do whatever he could to make him smile, but he knew he couldn't. That's just not how life rolls for nobody.

EXO had a month to relax and start anew because of Jongdae which for some reason they thanked, because for the first time in two years they got a break to relax and do the things that they couldn't while promoting. With SM bugging them to do so much they didn't really have much time for themselves to play around and all the stuff that they wanted to do. Knowing that they are the biggest idols in Korea now they wanted to work much harder. It is quite a stress for them.

One night Jongdae got bored so he decided to go practice his dancing alone, usually Minseok would help him since he's a really good dancer, better than Jongin for sure, but since he last brushed Minseok away he never talked to him. He was bothered by it, but he knows it's best for his heart and mind to forget him. 

The gym was empty when he arrived and the light were off. He the light, threw his backback onto the floor and went to the radio turning their hit song 'growl' and started to dance to the song. 

A minute or so passed when the music stopped and Jongdae looked behind him to see Luhan glaring at him. He sighed and walked to him knowing Luhan wanted to either yell at him, beat him or scold him. He had an idea of what it would be. 

˝What?˝ He spat at Luhan looking him dead in the eyes. Luhan took a deep breath to calm himself from kicking Jongdae's into oblivion.

˝When are you going to talk to Minseok? I don't know what you said to him that night, but he's really sad because of it, you better fix it Jongdae.˝ Luhan glared at Jongdae with anger and hate. 

Jongdae laughed a sad laugh at Luhan, slowly becoming angry himself. What does Minseok have to be sad for? He's got everything he wants. He's got nothing to be sad about.

˝What the hell does he have to be sad about? He's got everything he wants. Does he love someone who doesn't bother to look at them because they have someone already? Someone who doesn't even bother to be friends with? No he doesn't. If it weren't for you showing up I would've said something to Minseok, but you took that chance away from me. I hate you so much and Minseok hyung has nothing to be sad or depressed about so shut up and get out of my sight and go back to how you two were before, not giving a damn flying about people around you. Because quite honestly you ing is making the maknae cry, because he likes you so damn flying much, but you're to dumb to even notice or care about him. ˝ Jongdae rambled on glaring at Luhan, before he shocked himself knowing he had spilled out Sehun's secret.

A/N : Well hello, here's another update since I won't be updating much in the next weeks. I hope you like it and yeah comment, subscribe and vote if you like it and yeah, Author-nim OUT! Just one question do you like Xiuchenhan? I might be doing a oneshot on them soon (In may probably xc). Well yeah I'm out ba baii and thanks for taking the poll in the last chapter! <33333