Because of you who doesn't care

Suho was just about to go shower from eating dinner with two missing members once again. He had been wondering as into what's going on with the two members, but didn't want to make matters worse kept the worries for himself. Once he entered the bathroom he was met by a gruesome scene. Jongdae was lying on the bathroom floor his wrists bleeding and a smile playing on his lips. Everything around the unmoving boy was dirtied by the almost black red blood. 

Without thinking Suho ran for the unconscious member. He didn't notice that Jongdae was breathing for affar which made him worry. After yelling out his name members sprang out from their room all gathering at the bathroom looking at Suho trying to wake up Jongdae, but being unable to do so. 

˝ Call the ambulance! hurry!˝ He yelled after the members who stood by the bathroom door. Kris took desperately grabbed the phone that was laying on the table near the bathroom. Quickly dialing 199 and pressing the call button. Kris tried to explain the situation to the dispatcher on the other line as calmly as he could, which was kind of difficult. After telling them the address to their dorm, he hung up and went inside the bathroom grabbing a towel wrapping Jongdae's lifeless body inside the soft while towel that was slowly turning to light pink color and then to the horrifying dark red color. 

Kris picked up the light body that was now wrapped inside a dripping red towel and carried it outside the dorm as quickly as possible, Suho was running behind Kris telling the other members to stay inside and go to bed, he promised to call them about Jongdae's situation. The ambulance came in less than 5 minutes. The medics took Jongdae from Kris's arms and lied him on the medical bed. They did a small check up on Jongdae seeing as he wasn't breathing they didn't have time for a long check up. 

˝We have to get him to the hospital as soon as possible he doesn't have a lot of chances of surviving and if he does there is a 95% chance that he will be in a infused coma.˝ The life guard said with a grim expression on his face. Both Kris and Suho nodded and jumped inside the ambulance and before they know it they speed off to the hospital. Suho was holding Jongdae's lifeless hand trying his best to not cry. Kris on the other hand was calm on the outside but inside he was freaking out. 

Jongdae had ended up going trough an emergency surgery, he has lost a lot of blood. Suho and Kris sat outside the surgery room waiting to recieve some good news about Jongdae. Their manager came to the hospitals minutes after Jongdae had arrived to the hospital. 

The members that were left in the dorm were all wearing grim expressions on their faces wondering why Jongdae had done what he done. Minseok was being hugged by Luhan who kept kissing his head. Jongdae and Minseok had once been really close, they were best friends, but then Luhan came and everything crumbled down. Sehun sighed and walked to Jongdae's room wanting to see if he had left behind a note or a letter. After searching the whole room he found a small letter underneath the pink pillow. He opened the letter reading it himself, his eyes became clouded knowing exactly understanding how Jongdae had felt. Sehun got the need to let Minseok and Luhan know as into why Jongdae had done that. 

He stepped outside and walked to the hugging couple that was sitting on the floor. He threw the letter at them glaring at both Minseok and the one he loved; Luhan. 

˝You might want to read it, it's directed to Minseok-hyung mostly.˝ He said bitterly and walked to his bedroom also worrying about Jongdae. He didn't expect his hyung to do that. He guessed he was in too much pain to bare it any longer. 

Minseok and Luhan were both confused as into why is the letter directed to Minseok. Minseok bitterly opened the letter. His eyes scanned the letter slowly. 

Dear Minseok hyung or whoever found this letter

It's mostly directed to Minseok hyung so you should probably give it to him. I don't know how to start and this is going to be a short letter since I am really no good at writing goodbye letters (I never was). Hyung I wanted to tell you something for a long time, but  never got the chance to do so because of Luhan. I've wanted to tell you that I like you more than a friend, colleague, my hyung and a fellow member. I've liked you... no I've loved you for almost 3 years now, but just as I was about to confess Luhan came to ask you if you'd like to play football with him. Of course you said yes.

Do you remember that day? when I told you that I had something to tell you? That was when I was planning on confessing, but you ditched me again. I wasn't surprised and I told myself you probably don't like me and you don't, so I gave up and let you be happy with Luhan. I ate up my undying emotions for you and suffered trough seeing you be in Luhans' arms. You never noticed me after you and Luhan got together.

It hurt it really did. No matter how hard I tried to forget you and to stop loving you I couldn't, because you didn't let me (actually I didn't let myself). You always did something that made me fall in love with you over and over and over again. I've planned on doing this for a long time now. I've tried doing it before, but I was too much of a coward to do anything. But now I did it, didn't I?

Do you care? Are you crying? I don't know why I'm asking this since you probably aren't, you wouldn't since you love that that I've started to hate so much. You would cry if Luhan was dead, not if I was and this is why I'm doing it. It's the only way that I can get over you and stop loving you. Once my heart stops beating, my love for you Minseok-hyung will die with me.

I'm sorry to every member that I've trolled, hurt, annoyed and worried. I'm sorry to everyone that is now crying for me. I really am, but I couldn't live like this anymore. The point in life is to live it happily and to be happy, but I wasn't happy, so there is no meaning for me to stay alive. I've given up on being happy a long time ago after I realized that I'll never be happy if I keep loving Minseok hyung. Knowing that I couldn't have him I left.

So goodbye, don't cry for me and don't miss me, I'm not worth that.

- Kim Jongdae

​Minseok was shocked after he read the letter and as he was about to say something the phone rang. Everyone knew that it was Suho that was calling, but none of them dared to answer. They were all to afraid to know what had happened with Jongdae. In the end Sehun rushed out of his room and answered the phone. Sehun dropped the phone shaking all over after hearing what Suho had told him.

˝ Jongdae is....˝

A/N: I'm so sorry that you had to wait for the update for so long. I'm really thanfull to thoose who had commented and subscribed to this story. Again I'm sorry you had to wait for so long, nowadays I'm really busy with finishing school and singing to a high school and all that stuff. I won't update much in April because it's filled with exams that I have to get a good mark on so I get accepted to a high school I've been wishing to go to. Anyway I'm leaving you on a cliffhanger once again, so yeah what happened to Jongdae is for you to think about :D But yeah I'd like you to answer this poll down here please;