A quiet sad chuckle echoes through the walls of a dark room. He is once again left alone to his thought, full of him. The sad boy wishes that he could just delete him from his life, heart and head, but no matter how hard he tries to stop, he can't. He doesn't know what to do anymore. The sadness is consuming him because of love. 

The unfortunate man is Kim Jongdae who is deeply in love with a boy named Kim Minseok, but the problem is that Minseok doesn't care about Jongdae, because he loves his controlling boyfriend Luhan. Jongdae hates Luhan with all his might and heart. He shouldn't, but he does, but of course he hates everything. He hates how he fell in love with Minseok, he hates that he can't stop thinking about him, but what he hates the most is that he fell in love with him in the first place. Jongdae hates himself. 

On the other side of the dorm is another boy who is suffering because Minseok and Luhan, but the difference is that he is in love with his hyung Luhan. His name is Sehun, the maknae of EXO. Sehun once used to be very close to Luhan, but he never got the guts to tell him that he is indeed in love with him because he knew that Luhan would never loe him for Luhan only loves Minseok the best. Sehun lets' himself cry again for the hundredth time this night. He should be asleep, but his mind is preoccupied with the image of Luhan loving Minseok. Whenever he thinks about them his heart hurts and he just wants to rip it out of his ribcage. Sehun wants to forget Luhan, because he knows that no matter what Luhan will never love him the way he loves Minseok.

This is a story about two broken hearts suffering and slowly dying, because sometimes the pain just hurts too much. 

There is no escape

The next morning Jongdae wakes up feeling numb all over, no joy because he has no schedule. He just feels empty with the tingling feeling of hurt and anger. Jongdae once again let himself go off the rope that kept him alive and now he's slowly falling into despair, into a world of unknown pain. He doesn't know how long he'll keep falling, but there's one thing Jongdae knows that it won't take long for him to stop falling. 

With a sigh he stands up from his bed and slowly moves to the door, but he thinks twice before opening the door. If I go out, I'll have to see them, but if I stay in here I could probably just disappear... It's not like anyone cares, Jongdae moves his hand away from the door knob and sits down on his bed looking at the wall ahead of him, his mind perfectly blank for once in his life. But the pain in his chest is still there, he just pays no attention to it. For once Jongdae wishes that he could cry, but no matter what he can't so he keeps a small sad smile on his face and stares ahead not caring. Jongdae feels like he's going crazy because of the love he feels for Minseok who will never notice him. 

His love for Minseok started when he and Minseok first went to China to promote. They only had each other at the time, so they were really close. Jongdae isn't a good dancer, so he had trouble learning all of the hard choreographs' that exo had, but Minseok helped him learn them in the late nights of practice. That is when Jongdae started to fall for Minseok hard. They were somewhat close after some time, but then Minseok didn't pay attention to Jongdae. He tried to get Minseok to notice him, but Minseok never noticed him because of Luhan. At that time Jongdae was in love with Minseok so much it hurt and it hurt him to watch Minseok hug Luhan, kiss Luhan, talk to Luhan and love Luhan. He had to watch it and it hurt him. Years back he would cry about it, but now after so much time passed it's as if he's run out of tears. He can't feel joy or happiness, because for him if he doesn't have Minseok there is nothing happy or joyful about life. 

Jongdae's life is like a black canvas with no light and no door that could help him escape. He's trapped, he has been trapped inside this black canvas for a long while and now he's lost hope of ever seeing the light of life again. 

˝Jongdae-ah you awake yet?? Breakfast is ready.˝ He could hear the voice of his fellow band mate Yixing, but he didn't pay any attention to it. He isn't hungry anyway, he never is. 
˝ I'm not hungry, leave me alone please.˝ His voice held no emotion, it was plain and cold. People would think he's a robot, but he isn't, that's just what love made out of him. If there's no camera, there is no need for him to smile or pretend to be okay. If Minseok doesn't care, nobody does. I'm not obsessed... I'm just dumbly in love. 

 Trying to forget

Sehun once again come to face his swollen face and red puffy eyes. He once again cried himself to sleep for no other than a male called Luhan. He sighed and sat down on the toiled his head in his hands. Sehun can't believe that he can still cry after another night of crying his heart out. His heart hurt so much it was almost unbearable, but Sehun is used to the heartache, it's what keeps him somewhat sane, but he feels as if he's going crazy.

He takes a deep breath and washes his face, hiding his ugly sad face. He doesn't want to have any kind of conversation about why he's like this. Sehun tries to forget Luhan, well that's what he thinks he's doing, but the truth is that he doesn't want to forget Luhan. Because Sehun has a little bit of hope that Luhan will maybe one day notice him. As much as it has almost no chance of ever happening, he keeps the hope up.

˝Yah Sehun-ah you done in there? I really need to pee!˝ Sehun laughed at Tao's whiny voice and opened the door laughing slightly and smiling fakely.
 ˝Eish! Shut up and get out!˝ Sehun nodded and got out of the bathroom and walked to his room, but before he entered his room he could hear Jongdae's strange cold voice. He looked at Yixing's face that was unreadable, but he could see a tingle of sadness and worry displayed in his eyes. 

He watched as Yixing silently walked off to the kitchen. Sehun sighed and opened the door to his room that he shared with Minseok. The moment he opened the door he was met with Luhan and Minseok making out on Minseok's bed. He quickly shut the door unable to do anything. He was shocked and his heart hurt a lot. Sehun could feel the burning tears that were gathering in his eyes ready to break trough. He wasn't really thinking when he entered Jongdae's room and hugged Jongdae crying silently trying to delete the scene from his head.

Sehun remembers how him and Luhan always went out to get bubble tea and hang out. At that time he felt loved or at least cared for and appreciated by Luhan, but these days Luhan only looks at Minseok and doesn't pay attention. Sehun regrets one thing and that thing is that he never confessed to Luhan. He had a chance to do so, but he just decided not to. 

Jongdae was shocked but nonetheless​ he hugged him and let Sehun cry his heart out. A few minutes passed by until Jongdae dared to ask Sehun why he was crying. 

˝What's wrong Sehun? ˝ He mentally cursed himself for sounding so cold while Sehun was crying.
 ˝I hate him, I hate Luhan and I hate Minseok... Hyung... why? why do I have to love Luhan?˝ Jongdae stayed silent and held onto Sehun feeling his heart hurting because he understands the pain that his dongsaeng is feeling. He hates Luhan even more now. But what can Jongdae do?

Sehun calms down after a while and sits down next to Jongdae silently, but as time passes by with the awkward silence Sehun walks off to find Tao. If there's anyone that he can use to help him forget about Luhan it's Tao. He sighed to himself thinking of how and when he started being like this. He wished that he would've never fallen in love with the deer Luhan. Sehun bit his tongue as he entered Tao's room and hugged the confused boy laying down on the bed.

˝ Just stay like this for a while please...˝ Sehun pleaded with a sad voice and Tao sighed laying his head down onto the pillows looking at the white ceeling. It didn't last long until Sehun started to shower Tao's neck with kisses. Tao knew what Sehun wanted, this wasn't the first time that it happened. Even though Tao knew that he would get hurt after doing this with Sehun, he somehow always repeated it over and over again. It hurt him to hear Sehun moan out Luhan's name instead of his. Tao knew what this would bring him, but he couldn't care less because in the end Sehun went to him and not someone else and that's what matters. 

----

˝JONGDAE-AH!!˝ both Tao and Sehun jumped up after hearing the scream, both wondering what happened. Their hearts were beating fast thinking of the worst possible scenarios since both knew and noticed the sudden change in Jongdae's personality.

A/N: I'm thinking about making this story a chaptered one, maybe 3 chapters or more. I'm not sure, but anyway how do you like it so far?? I'm going to be a mean and let you at a cliffhanger and let you figure out what happened to our precious Jongdae. Hope you like it :) Comment, subscribe and upvote if you do :) Author-nim out*