*Ding Dong Ding Dong. Ding Dong Ding Dong”

The familiar chime of the school bell rang as the girls in my class began to groan softly and stretch out their bodies while still being seated. The midterm was now officially over.

“Now everyone, please pass up your tests to the class rep.”

The teacher would say this at the end of every test, and like robots, we would do as she commands. I let out a big yawn as I put my right hand above my shoulder, waiting for a stack of tests to land onto my hand.  I passed the pile forward and stayed in my seat until further notice.

Our teacher proceeded to collect all the tests from the class rep. She tidied the stack up at her desk, then declared the school day to be over with a “class dismissed.”  The students began to generate noise of bustling desks, scattering footsteps, and chatter as they began to pack up their belongings.

As I looked out the window in a cloud of thoughts, I heard a“Hey, lets go get some ddukbokki before we head over to hagwon,” from a familiar voice, but continued to ignore it as I thought some more.

“Hyunwoo, you’re going too right?” I was startled, not realizing Chaeyeon was also inviting me. I smiled and answered “Sure, but let me catch up with you guys later. I need to go talk to the teachers for a second.”

“Alright take your time then! I’ll head over to the place we usually go to with Suhyeon and Jimin.”

I nodded and waved to them, telling them that I would see them soon. I watched to walk down the hallway, talking and giggling like all girls do at our age. As I watched the rest of the school empty out, I peered out of the window, observing them from above. In a sense, I felt like as if I was in a plane looking down onto the land, noticing the small little details that are usually ignored.

The school was now empty. I walked down the hall towards the stairs, heading towards the school’s rooftop. It’s strictly against the rules for students to be up there, but I didn’t want to care today. I knew that coming up here every once in a while wouldn’t hurt.

After walking the flights of stairs, I opened the heavy door to the roof, which later made a soft klunk sound as it closed itself shut. I walked towards the edge of the rooftop, leaning against the railing in a rather relaxed position. I sighed as I took a deep breath, then closed my eyes.

I began to imagine what it would be like to have my old life again. Although it had been a bit lonely, since mom had walked out on us when I was nine, I still missed living that certain lifestyle, where I felt safe and secure knowing that my father would be there for me. Things have changed, and it changed too quickly and drastically for me to take in. Everything feels like a dream.

Thunk thunk thunk. I heard footsteps, startling me from this comfortable states of solitude. I open my eyes instantly and turned around, hoping it wasn’t any of the teachers or admins. I found myself lucky when I realized it wasn’t an adult there. I soon realized that I wasn’t really lucky after all.

However, instead of finding myself in an awkward position with a teacher, I found myself in an awkward position with someone else.

It was him.

The guy that Chaeyeon was talking about earlier.

Suho.

He was standing 12 feet away from me with a cigarette in his mouth. The fumes from its end wavered in the air, like a sizzling piece of steak on a grill. His face was serious, like always. No smile, no frown, no change, just serious.

He took the cigarette out of his mouth, and blew some smoke into the air, then placed it in his mouth again.The breeze carried it towards me. I could smell its musty fragrance that felt right and wrong at the same time.

He kept his distance, not moving an inch towards me or away from me. We made eye contact as I looked up at his eyes and felt a bit nervous. I never talked to him before, and I couldn’t think of anything to say to him. To be frank, I was actually more scared of what he might do to me than what he might say to me.

What if he tried to kill me? Or ? Pushing those thoughts aside, I slowly puckered up the courage to get out of this awko taco situation. I felt more tense by the second, and I couldn’t help but have this heavy feeling of awkwardness weighing on my body like this..

I took a step forward and broke our gaze, slowly walking towards him, but avoiding his stare. I pass by him and for half a second, I suddenly feel drawn to him. It was like an impulse kind of thing. Irrational, some may say. It didn’t make sense to feel this way, so I continued to walk, opening the door. I ran down the flights of stairs, reaching the front of the school, then walked my way through the dusty grassless field that all schools in Korea had.

As I got to the middle, I turned around and looked up at the rooftop. I saw him, Suho, staring down towards me. It felt weird. The way he stared at me made me feel uncomfortable, for it felt as if he was peering into my soul. Or was he not looking at me at all? I wasn’t sure, because as soon as I saw him, I just turned around again and began walking at slightly quicker pace. I didn’t want to be there anymore.

But it felt right to just leave without saying a word. It is getting harder and harder to trust people in this world, especially in our generation. Who knows what he would have done to me.