Sungmin is 342 when he learns about the true nature of heaven and hell – “Just two sides of the same coin,” the senior angel says, a golden coin magically appearing between his long fingers, twinkling as it appears and disappears. “You’ll see. Good, bad, it’s all the same in the end. Every action has its reaction, and everything has its opposite, its twin. You’re still only a baby, though, so don’t worry yourself about these things.” The older one flicks Sungmin’s halo, sending little pink sparkles everywhere, and if Sungmin weren’t an angel – and a very good one, he was, too – he’d be feeling something that starts with pissed and ends with off. 

But he is an angel, and so he settles for ruffling his wing feathers in a very pointed manner. 

* 

The first job Sungmin gets is when he’s 718, and deemed old enough to handle his first guardianship. He’s so excited he keeps making rainbows by accident, until there’s no more space on his own personal cloud for Shindong to sit. Shindong is his best friend, though he isn’t an angel, technically; he’s a cherub. He adjusts his loincloth bad-naturedly, and bats away another rainbow with his bow. Sungmin is radiant.

“I don’t know how you can do our Father’s work and still be so grumpy all the time, Dongie,” Sungmin says, floating slightly above his cloud, wings beating energetically. 

“Let’s see you be happy about spending eternity in the body of a fat baby,” Shindong shot back. “But no, angels are ineffably beautiful, they get wings, they get halos. What do I get?”

“You have wings,” Sungmin points out.

“Fat stubby little baby wings!”

“Humans think cherubs are cute.”

“Humans can stuff it,” Shindong mutters. “When are you supposed to go Above?”

“Oh, anytime now,” Sungmin trills, and another rainbow pops into existence. 

Shindong wishes he could curse.

* 

Sungmin is 168 when he finds out that the commonly-held view that Heaven is Up and Hell is Down is, actually, wrong.

“B-but!” He stammers, dumbstruck. “Isn’t that… sacrilegious?”

“Sacrilegious?” senior angel Leeteuk asks, perfect eyebrow raised. “The Father made it so; how can it be sacrilegious?”

“But… why?”

“Everyone knows hot air rises,” Leeteuk answers like Sungmin is simple, flicking dust off his pristine robe. “Hell would just keep floating back up if we tried to put it Down, instead of Up, wouldn’t it?” 

Leeteuk starts suddenly, closing his eyes, and then heaves a long-suffering sigh. “Sorry, have to go. My human is in trouble again.” He rolls exquisite eyes, and disappears in a gust of wind that smells like the grass of summer and the frost of winter combined.

Sungmin sometimes thinks he doesn’t understand God, at all.

* 

Sungmin skims over the rooftops with his guardianship supervisor, a harried angel who complains constantly of overwork. 

“Honestly, just because we’re all angels here with ineffable powers it doesn’t mean I deserve this much work,” the angel grumbles, and Sungmin soars along, loving the sun on his wings.

They land in a crowded road, the cars running next to them unawares, people walking unseeing. A sheaf of papers appear in the angel’s arms, and he nearly drops everything. Sungmin quickly bends to help, but the angel waves him, and the papers, away with an annoyed sweep of his hand. “I’ve had enough of this. I’m moving back to the Ineffable Matters Department.”

“Ineffable?” Sungmin asks. 

“Very ineffable.” is the reply, and then the angel grabs his arm. “There! That one!”

Sungmin whips his beautiful head around to see a couple emerge from the hospital ahead of him, and leaving his supervisor behind, takes off to float above the two. 

The lady is carrying something close in her arms, holding it like it’s the most precious thing in the world, and Sungmin flits closer. 

It is a baby, sleeping and looking like a grumpy old person, like most newborns do. 

“His name is Kyuhyun,” his supervisor announces, catching up to Sungmin. “And from this day on, you belong to him.”

*

1. The quote in the description is from Douglas Adams' Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency.
2. Good Omens is one of the best books I've ever read. Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman ftw!