Life was now new for Jackson as he soon swept aside his thoughts of Rose. Throughout his day, he'd find ways to distract him and those distractions were other girls. When the night fell upon him, that was the only time he spent thinking about Rose, the girl who caused damage to him. After residing back in Seoul, he began looking for love as if it was something easy to find. He desperately searched love in between the lips of other women. Hungry for love to keep him company, he lent his hands to be held by many, letting his arms embrace those who held no meaning to him. Screwing around, he left many empty-handed just like him. The chain reaction of losing love was suffocating, killing him slowly yet he disclaims it.

"Jackson, who's the new girl this week?" Mark asked the guy who slouched on the sofa, tired from all the dance practice earlier.

"I forgot her name. Some girl from Cube Entertainment..."

BamBam shook his head, disappointed at how his hyungs were so playful with girls. "You guys are too much. Don't be so girl-hungry."

Jackson let out a breath of annoyance, "What do you know, kid?"

"I know better enough to not go around breaking hearts, just saying." BamBam walked away so he doesn't have to answer any of Jackson's nonsense.

Being stubborn, Jackson never listened to any of the members input about him being careful with the girls. They've stopped advising him after awhile and only held onto hope that he may realize he was going overboard with his treatment of girls like properties.

----

I picked up different shifts of various jobs as the months Jackson visited flew by. I had a plan and it was going to be a secret between myself. I wanted to earn my own money, learn how to safe and manage. Hopefully, I'll fulfill a dream of mine and it wouldn't be too late to accomplish. My busy, impacted schedule kept me bouncing on my foot that I slowly disconnected myself from hangouts and friends. Sure, I still had fun here and there, but it was cut short since it all dealt with spending money. Everyday, I noted my spendings and savings, hoping I'd reach my goal soon. Work and university kept me productive and the only times I remember Jackson were the last few minutes before I drift to sleep. Some days I even recall forgetting him and that scared me. I don't want to forget him. I can't. He's given me so much to remember and everything I am doing now is all for him. It's for us.

It became a routine to give 30 minutes to myself to kick off my day. I'd either spend it on a walk, a run, a read, or a session for my journal. During those 30 minute mornings, I gave myself time to recollect memories of Jackson. I never lost feelings for him and I didn't want to lose him in my memory. There were time of prayer that I'd prayed for my future. I'd pray for Jackson to never fall back on his doubts. I prayed for him. I prayed for us that we may remain as one if it was in the will of the greater heavens. On emotional mornings, I'd cry as much out as I possibly can and then design a smile on my face to move on with the day. The tears were the hurt that resided in me for the way Jackson and I were so blind with being real with our feelings or technically, me for hurting the man I wanted. It was a confusing period in my life to show love to the man I love. I was unwilling to pour in my formula to make our chemistry work. Inside, I could only look forward to the chance that Jackson might just forgive me if he never forgets me too.

----

The door of the dorm barged open and a buzzed Jackson clings onto a girl in a red, fitted dress. She giggles at his touches and his nose grazed upon her cheeks. With an arm around her waist, his free hand loosens his buttoned shirt. Attending the noise, Youngjae's eyes spotted the two with disbelief that this undefined female was on his hyung like they were a package tied together.

"Hey guys, I found him!" Youngjae informed the whole house as if they've all been wondering where Jackson has been. Walking over to the drunk one, he guided him to his room passing by Mark who made a disgusted face after smelling Jackson's breath.

Jackson was thrown on his bed with the help of Mark and Youngjae.

Placing his hands on his hip, he addressed the girl like he was a father talking to his daughter. "What's your name?" He asked the unknown girl who looked more stable than Jackson who instantly out after laying down.

"Jinkee."

"How do you know Jackson?"

"The club down the block."

Youngjae nodded at how responsive she was, only answering what she was asked directly.

"Well, I want you to stop seeing him if you don't want to end up getting hurt. Jackson isn't in the right state for you at the moment." He kindly let the girl know, not going into too much detail of his friend's personal life. Being considerate of Jackson's latest heartbreak, he just knew Jackson was fooling around in hope that it'd all make him a better person when really, it was only making him worse.

The girl, Jinkee, didn't mutter a response, but yawned. Mark entered the shared room again and asked the girl to stay the night since they didn't know where she lived or anything more besides her name. It wasn't right in any means to have a girl sleepover in a house full of young men, but it wasn't right to leave a half drunk girl find her way home. It was too dangerous to take that risk; theefore, Mark gave up his bed for the floor.

In the early morning, the sunshine bursted through the thin curtains of the room. Jackson woke up to his head pounding and he groaned in the process of stretching. He spots a body on the floor and another body on Mark's bed. Swinging his legs over to the side of the bed, he checked the person on the floor first. Mark's sleeping face was all he needed to see to know who the person was. Then who's sleeping on Mark's bed? Jackson shuffled over with his sleepy eye.

"Jin-....nee? Jinkee? Jin-..." He couldn't pinpoint her name correctly.

While sounding her name, he had woken up Mark who sad up at the sound. "I'm not surprised you don't know her name." He looked over to the sleeping figure. "It'd be nice if you'd think of me too. You always bring girls over and I always have to give up my bed."

Feeling a bit regretful to have put his buddy through sacrifice made him feel terrible. "Sorry man-"

"Is this what you really want?" Mark asked his question in a deep, thoughtful way.

"What?"

"This," Mark points to the female body that laid untouch. "Do you want a different girl every day? Does it satisfy you?"

Jackson understood Mark. It's just he found it hard to escape the heartache and lately, these different girls were helping him cope. Jackson looked at the girl, sweeping his fingers lightly across her visible cheek, something he did to Rose way back when. After examining the girl and placed the blanket to cover her exposed arms, Jackson waved for Mark to follow him to the living room to further their conversation. As they reached the empty space, they sat themselves down.

"This is what I need." Jackson picked up his answer from where Mark's question left off.

Mark was never quick to judge and respond his opinions. He gave suggestions and asked questions that'd make a person think their mind out until they felt guilty or found their answer. "I guess if you believe so, but I suggest you think about your reason why you're suddenly acting like this. Is the reason worth doing all this to yourself and to these women you don't even know."

The hungover man rubbed his face and flashes of Rose ran through his mind like black and white photos that were slowly fading. Perhaps, these women he found every other night were benefitting him.

----

"870...871...872...873...874 dollars...." I counted my saved money. I'm not too far along from my goal, but there was still quite a distance to work through.

The hectic balance of work ans school affect my eating habits, making me forget breakfast and sometimes dinner. Lunch wasn't even in the picture because I only snacked on protein bars and bags of chips. I'd fall alseep in class to be awaken by classmates who kindly gave me notes that I'd miss. I went out of hand, but often times I find myself encouraged to push on when I think of Jackson and what his words might be when he found me worn out. He was always positive and full of energy that it was difficult to not let him rub off on me. I missed him most when I'm going through dreadful times like these. I want to hear his voice at least just so I'd feel comforted. It's be enough to get me through life if I could just hear him although seeing him would be better. Actually, having him to myself would be a bigger, and brighter gift. Unfortunately, I don't know his thoughts at the moment. Is he missing me? Is he thinking of me? Is he still willing to take on a chance?

After the long weeks I spent by myself, Lisa finally dragged me out to accompany her for a mini beach trip that I later found out Henry was also going. It turned into a couple retreat, but Lisa didn't leave me out on anything. She kept me by her and Henry's side that I began to feel like I was taking away their time alone. Seeing them made me sink with regret about that particular night, Jackson's last night in Hong Kong, when we both went along with Henry and Lisa on their movie date. I found myself trying to hold back tears and sniffles at the scene of the couple beside me cuddle up against each other. Thinking that my dreadful times made me miss the man of my heart, the scenes of lovers made the missing worse. I can just remember our loving interactions like they were just yesterday when really it has been years.

----

On the couch, he leaned in to capture the woman's warm lips that brought him alive. He carefully placed his hands on her arms for balance, but suddenly he backed away. "Sorry, we can't. I can't treat you like this." Jackson found the urge in him to stop himself from attaching to the young, flawless beauty that sat in front of him.

"What's wrong? I thought you liked me?" She lightly pouted with disappointment.

"I-I do....it's just...it's wrong." He pecked her forehead, the exact way he did to Rose whenever he felt the butterflies in him.

Jackson never took anything too far. Kisses and touches were never denied, but anything more, he always stopped himself, reasoning with who ever the girl is that day which results in him being left. Love wasn't fair in his eyes, but could it be he's just playing it wrong? Disappointments after disappointments, and like Mark had mentioned, he questioned his own satisfaction.

"Jackson." JB's voice interrupted his train of thought.

"Y-yeah?"

The whole group had huddled together casually. "Let's go out tonight." The leader suggested.

The boys nodded and Jr asked where. JB gave a 5 minutes presentation of their plan for dinner, karaoke, and then possibly the night party for the trainees and idols from the oter companies. Finally, they were doing something together, catching Jackson at the perfect time, girl-less and free. They all cared for one another and at this very moment, Jackson  needed them most so they were going to do their best to spent time as a team aside from practice or work.

Author's Note: Hello my 70V3LY readers! Today was officially my last day of school! Summer starts tomorrow for me and I'm excited because that mean sI'll finally update my stories! I am so totally stoked to finally spend time with you all too, here. ^^ ~Anyways, what are your thoughts on this story so far? Slow? Too fast? Boring? I promise to make the best of it. Plus, what do you guys think Rose is doing? Will Jackson overcome his player ways? Share below! Love you all <3