I was vulnerable, weak, helpless. I didn't dare open my eyes because I knew that his presence was no longer there. The bed was cold, signifying that he had left just like how he said. With my eyes still shut and the white covers over my bare skin, I tried convincing myself that he had left only to bring breakfast. Before I knew it, I felt tears drip from my eyes and they began to pour. As I choked on my tears, I managed to peek through my eyelids. The pillow next to mine was empty. The blanket wrapped me warmly as if he thought it'd also wrap the inner coldness I felt from his departure. Last night was our first and our last. Our love didn't bring us happiness but grief. I ran my fingers across the space that he had filled to feel if he had just left or if he had left hours ago. I checked the temperature and indeed, the linen was no longer warm, indicating that he probably left about an hour or two ago.

I felt miserable. I sat up in bed and rested against the headboard. Looking to the bedside drawer, the time read 8:16 AM. I cupped my lips and silently cried harder this time. Getting up, I slipped on one of my oversized, white button-up shirt and my eyes trailed my bedroom. It looked as if he left carefully not leaving a dust of him behind. It's as if our time together was only a dream, part of my hallucination. I walked into my small kitchen to find a cup of tea with pink roses in a vase, my favorite. There was a note.

Good morning, Rose. Here's a cup of tea I made for you, but you'll probably have to heat it up again. I hope you also love the roses I got you. I was debating if I should wait for you to wake up before I leave, but I decided it was best to leave peacefully. I don't know if I could handle watching you as I walk away and out of your life. Know that I love you very much. Goodbye.

Jackson Wang

I sat on the stool, motionless. Everything from yesterday rushed into my memory.

*Flashback to yesterday/yesterday night*

"Remember how I told you I got into JYP Entertainment last week?"

I chewed on my pizza silently, knowing what he was going to express.

"Also, remember how I told you that I have to move to Korea?"

I guess my reaction was making it harder for him. He had to stop and get my focus. 

"Look at me, please." I heard urgency in his voice.

"Yes, go on." I nodded.

"You know how we decided that today was our last day together? Well, I just want you to truly know that you mean the world to me."

I bit my tongue to hold together my trembling lips. I got up from my dinner table and walked the restroom. It caused him to follow after me. Just as I was about to close the bathroom door, he pushed pass it, looking at me.

"Jackson, give me a moment please." My voice quivered and tears oozed from my eyes.

"I won't let you cry alone like this. As long as I'm still here, I want to be able to hold you when you cry." 

His arms found their way around my body. I pushed against his chest, suddenly angered by what he said. "What difference does it make?! Either way you'll no longer be here! Just let me cry alone!" Though I knew it was no help, I still fought my way out of his hold.

As if I've erupted the beast inside him, he reacted. "Don't you know it kills me to see you like this?! Here I am, trying to calm your breaking heart yet you refuse me?!" He gripped me by my arms, closing in our distance. His eyes, furious with hurt. His voice, harsh with guilt.

His touch loosened and I wiggled myself from him. As I paced my way to my bedroom, he rapidly yanked my wrist to turn me back to him. Without giving me at least a second to think, his lips glued onto mine with authority. The more I denied the kiss, he held my face closely making sure I didn't remove my lips. Once he felt it was long enough, he supped for a breath but kept the closeness. Resting his forehead on mine, his brown eyes searched deep into my watery ones. Again, he engulfed my nervous lips.

Turning my head to the side to avoid contact, his lips lightly grazed upon the open area of my neck. "Stop it, Jackson. This is not what tonight is for. I don't want to say goodbye like this."

He breathed heavily, trying to calm himself. His gaze shot down at me. "I love you so much, Rose. Just because I'm leaving you, don't ever doubt my feelings for you. Ever. I'm sorry." He whispered lightly in my ears with apology in his eyes for the way he had just reacted. He walked away from me, back into the kitchen area.

Something in me changed my mind about what I had just said. Heck, I knew he was just as hurt as I was. I ran to him, turning his full body to face me, crushing my lips once again. Today was our last day together. Tonight was our last night too. I knew I had to make the time worth it; therefore, I chose to give myself up to someone for the first time. I gave myself up for him. If it means in the morning I won't see him, at least let me smell his faint cologne on my skin.

"Jackson, I love you." 

*End of Flashback*

I clenched my hand over my heart. It was suffocating. Taking notice of my scent, I could smell his cologne that was slowly wearing off. I dragged my feet to the shower assuming that maybe if I did wash off his smell then maybe our memories would fade too.

----

"Son, where did you go last night?" Mr. Wang asked his son who popped through the front door.

"Morning, dad. I just hung out with some friends last night before I have to leave today." He covered up well. He suddenly felt guilty for taking the person he loves intimacy. His father always gave him the talk that love is meant for marriage and he had always agreed, but he stepped over the line recalling last night.

"Alright. Well, pack up soon and your mother and I will send you off to the airport."

Jackson smiled calmly and rushed up the stairs. Just like Rose, he debated between showering or letting her sweet scent settle on him. Nonetheless, he jumped into the shower to refresh his mind hoping it'd help him in someway.

Love hurts.