note: understanding the lyric from gotta be you would help you to understand the story better.

the story was inspired by the song but also by my own story on previous chapter. so you should check the previous chapter to understand this one. but if you don't want to ruin your pairing on if i were you chapter, i do not offer you to read this.

pairing: cl/chaerin x gd/jiyong (skydragon)

chaerin: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/be/f5/5f/bef55f8a6086c4a5126483e2b067c1d2.jpg

http://24.media.tumblr.com/efc6cacbace97354d47289aa8beace04/tumblr_mwkj8f7D1B1s6qlg2o1_250.gif

https://66.media.tumblr.com/3349b321ca6c363b3cc15842489d0316/tumblr_mwmlhg6NpV1spksz5o1_500.gif

Jiyong: https://hallyuguru.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/a1nwjzacuaaem_b.jpg

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9mldzQE2S1qm4vmmo2_500.gif

http://31.media.tumblr.com/2e7bfcc675409ab34f483186340e5ccc/tumblr_inline_nsxyxgVdJW1rea7hl_500.gif

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9n4runpS01qb2yato6_1280.jpg

gotta be you

oh lord i beg you to just take all this feeling away. why you even gave me fate like this? did i do something terrible in the past to accept this life?

i want to refuse you but you lure me with your all-knowing touch. my brain stay closed to your every sigh, expression and moan you did, but the reflex i did was questionable. i don't even understand my own body. i don't want to show how desperate i am towards you, i don't want to give you false expression. but why did it feel like i am fake to my own self? why my body betrayed me? why did my feet keep walking to this room? everyday.

i hate myself.

i hate you jiyong, with all my heart i despise you even more. but why did every pore on my skin still seeking your trace? i don't understand. my chest hurts from the pain you gave. i feel that every day and i am tired of it, but why my eyes keep searching for you? like right now, they are staring at your profile, staring at every curve of your face. i hate you jiyong, and i am sure that's the reason i am so nervous. but then you give me that cold shoulder again, like every day.

"why you keep seeing her?" maybe the whisper was too loud that woke him from sleep. or maybe i did it on purpose.

"sleep chae, we have trough this" with his shoulder still facing me, all the feels start to hit me again.

you confused me jiyong, you make me uncertain of my own feeling, about my own believe. i don't know what to do and i don't want to feel anything. but i am desperate now, i feel like i'm falling apart.

"but i'm the one who will bear your child" i didn't intend to cry, but that came out hoarser than i expected. as tears b out, i try to keep my trembling voice sounds brave. And I want to sleep, not fighting over my uncertain feeling.

if it's the fate that i should live in, you should be there with me. i don't want anyone else but you jiyong.

for the first time after all icy nights passes, my hands reach that cold shoulder to embrace your warm. to hold on to you so i wouldn't fall apart even more. to give me sense of security.

"please don't reject me"

"i don't wanna meet new people, though i don't know why. our encounter was like destiny. but now we've turned from lover to strangers"

it hurts. the pain he left on my-still-recovering-wound on the wrist is painful. throbbing and burning. if only he knows the reason why i bandage it, maybe he would hold me more gentle.

i feel funny for my own behavior. how could i let him use me like a thing when i really despise him to his bone. was those disgust real or not i couldn't even tell anymore. but i am sure of disgust over myself. i am no different from them fake people around me. disgusting.

"can you stop seeing that woman?" the same question that had been a reason from all screaming and beating in this house.

"why should i?"

those stare, you just killed me once again. it was hard for me to ask that question, but it's even more painful to know you won't cooperate.

"you really value social life so much, why won't you let that go?"

"YAH! once again you called her that-

"right! hit me. but remember i will still be the mother of your child!"

burning glare thrown to one another and his vein could show how much he would love to do that.

we don't know when exactly we stop talking without screaming and pointing finger to each other. if anybody ask me whether i miss that moment or not, i would say yes without hesitation. i want that moment back, i miss his comforting words, i miss his warm embrace.

but no, i couldn't stare at his hateful stare.

"i'm tired. can we talk it out without being on each other's neck?"

although the cup of coffee on his hand looks more interesting than his glaring eyes, my brain couldn't focus on the view before me. only his silence killing me each moment, as this heavy feeling caused my eyes to sting.

"i'm tired but i should keep standing because you made me agree of the decision. But you make me keep going with vague hope"

"make it fast, i have appointment" he groan but i could only sigh to keep this on track.

"it's not about both of us anymore so i beg you to work this out together with me. at least for the baby, your baby. i beg you to stop seeing her Jiyong. i beg you"

where's the pride i had? where's the confident woman that i saw in the mirror every morning goes? why cannot i stare at him? why i feel like bawling my eyes out to keep him stay?

i don't want to only staring at his cold back retreating from me. why it's hard for me to breath when he's walking away?

you gave me love ji, you let me felt that for the first time in my life and i want you to keep doing that. only you.

"i beg you oppa"

i should feel ashamed over the tears i let out, ashamed for the servants in the house listening to the sobs. but i already lost, my brain couldn't think straight anymore. the feeling in my chest clouding my brain too much.

i don't care. i only want you.

"even if your love ruins me and hurts me. to me it's only you. my love starts with you and ends with you. i'm waiting for you right here"

note: been long since i check this website, i just found out that i left a astory unpunlished. after spelling checked i hope there's no big mistake i did. please enjoy.