(This is an electronic copy. The original has been burned.)

Dear Suji,

I don't have the courage to confess to you in person so I've transferred all my feelings into my fingers and down to a keyboard instead. Now, it's written in ink and slipped into your backpack, a visual representation of my adoration for you.

Surprise.

I think I hid it well, my feelings for you, that is. It's time to shine some light on them though. I'm reaching the point of exhaustion. I keep thinking that maybe those smiles you flash me from across the classroom mean something. It keeps me up at night and utterly distracted in the day.

So here goes.

Your eyes were what enamored me first. They're brown like autumn and as clear as the blue skies on a sunny day. I love seeing the delight dance in them when I buy you books and dolls. When you're sad, their beauty becomes more evident. Suji, your tears are beautiful. I remember because when we first met, you were crying.

You wore braids that day. It was neat, not a strand out of place and swept over a hunched shoulder. They shook as you sobbed, as the mascara ran down your face and stained your hands when you wiped them away. You were sitting on the edges of the university's front steps near the rose bushes. I remember because I entered from the side. Slowly.

Mesmerized, I stared at your dainty nose centered in the middle of rosy cheeks and above a set of full lips. My God, even in your worst state, you're still a work of art. You're perfection personified. I couldn't possibly approach you so 'til this day, I thank the heavens you took the initiative and tapped my shoulder at the library.

Books became our bridge and libraries, our rendezvous.

I don't regret a single thing.

The only problem I have are your friends. I know what they think about me and it's nothing pleasant. They think I'm not good enough for you, they tell you that I'm too much of a wallflower. I'm too quiet. I'm just a pretty boy with an empty inside.

But Suji, my thoughts are full of your smiles, my heart is full of your warmth.  

I stay up too late at night thinking of what your lips would taste like.

Won't you give me a sample?

With all my heart and soul,

Myungsoo