Dear Suzy,

It’s been a week since you left, though it really doesn’t seem like it. I try to act nonchalant, but the days feel much too odd without you. 

Often, I’ve read stories depicting characters describing how slowly the days inched by without their lovers. About how their lives suddenly felt empty and colorless. 

I find that ironic. 

Perhaps it’s just me. Perhaps it was just how our circumstances were. But it seems now, like time is always one step ahead of me. I feel like a hitchhiker racing against a car. Time flies by too quickly, leaving me alone in the dust. 

I feel overwhelmed. Suzy, you were always my anchor. You were everything that helped stabilized me. When I became a whirlwind of panic and delirium, struggling to break through the surface of work to breathe, you were my inhaler. My air. My cure. My savior. You were what time slowed for. 

When you left Suzy, you didn’t leave me with a gaping crater in my heart. No, you left me with heaps upon heaps of feelings I cannot rid myself of. I feel like a walking disaster waiting to happen. Like one day all the pent up feelings you discarded on me–all the hurt and regret–will combust and I’ll just go up in flames along with it.

I guess you can say that I’m still waiting for you. 

I’m still waiting for someone who will never, ever come back.