Dear Hyomin,

                Hello, my friend. How have you been? I saw you lately, and you were with that guy again, Hwayoung. You two really look happy together. In fact, you two are perfect. He makes you laugh and you’re the reason behind his beautiful smile. It’s like watching a fairy tale every time I see you with each other. I never thought relationships could be so beautiful in reality, but there’s you and him proving it to the whole world.

                We’ve been friends for a really, really long time and I can see that you’ve finally found the person that would make you happy. He’s alright with me, honestly. He’s our friend too, and how I wish to tell you that I’m so happy for you two. For so many times, I practiced my line to say simply congratulations for the two of you, but it never came out of my mouth, didn’t it?

                What kind of friend am I that I can’t even be happy that two close friends of mine have found love in each other’s heart? But right now, I’m telling you. I’m so happy for the two of you Hyo… I’m so, so happy. How I wish to say all this out loud and how I wish that you two will be together forever. But it’s just so hard for me to be happy… because I’m the only one who can notice that he’s getting hurt, my love.

                I can remember that time when you told me that your ex is going to be in our class. I was so eager to meet him. The first day of school came and you whispered to me, “Ya~ Jiyeon-ah… That’s him. Ham Eunjung… my first boyfriend.”

                “Oh~”, was all I said. But the truth was, I kept glancing at him all day. He’s a tall guy with fair skin. He has beautiful eyes and manly body structure, my type of guy. But back then, that didn’t really come into my mind.

                I kept glancing at him because I kept wondering what happened to the two of you. At first I thought he was a bad boy kind of guy since almost all of the guys you dated were like that. But as days passed by and we all started to get closer with our new circle of friends, that included Ham Eunjung, I realized that he’s not that much of a bad person. In fact, I liked him. I really, really did.

                But I know… I saw it in his eyes when he noticed you sitting in the room for the first time. I saw it in his eyes when he talked to you again for the first time. And I still see it every time he faces you. He’s still in love with you Hyo… He loves you.

                But what I expected didn’t happen. I thought you’d be willing to get back together with him, but no. Instead, you met someone else. I wasn’t very surprised to find out that you and Hwa have been dating. But I was hurt because you didn’t tell me. That day, I hated you so much. When you asked me why I’m mad, I kept making stupid excuses. I know our friends thought I have a big crush on Hwa because of my behavior about the two of you. But the truth was, I was hurt Hyo. I was hurt because Eunjung was hurt.

                My God, you should’ve seen him. You should’ve seen the look on his face. You should’ve seen how sorrow, anger, jealousy, and grim filled that beautiful person that I came to know. You should’ve noticed the way he acted every time you sit beside Hwa. You should’ve just at least cared for what Eunjung would feel, but no. You were just too busy to notice. You were just so blinded by love that you didn’t even consider how that guy is going to deal with this whole thing.

                You, Hwa, and everybody else, all you did was laugh and have fun, living your young, wild and free lives while someone sits at the corner trying to keep himself together. Am I really the only one who noticed? Am I really the only one who cared? I know. You just fell in love. I know I can’t blame you. But, who is to blame at a situation like this? It may not be your fault but you’re still the reason behind his tears.

                I tried to talk to you once about this, but you didn’t even seem to care even just a bit. Hyo, I know. I know that I’m not supposed to act like this. But I don’t know how to act anymore.

                The moment I saw Ham Eunjung, I know that he’s not the type of guy that would look back at me. I now that I didn’t stand a chance, because I know that he only looks at one girl. And that girl has everything that he is looking for. It's you Hyo, the girl who has everything that I had to live without.

                And I’ve already accepted the fact that he would never feel the same way for me, and that’s fine. It’s alright with me, because as long as he’s happy, I’m happy too. But the problem is, he’s not. He’s not happy Hyomin.

                And I’m such a very evil person, because sometimes, I wish Hwa would break up with you. I wish things won’t work out between you two. Maybe when that happens, maybe… you’d get back together with Jungie… And maybe, I’ll get to see him smile again. And everything would feel right in my world again. I know I’m being selfish.  But, what am I supposed to do?

                So, I’m sorry if I act weird sometimes, getting mad for no enough reason. Maybe, I just… hate this whole thing. You deserve to be happy Hyo, you do, and so does Hwa. But Jungie deserves it too. Why can’t he be happy?

                As I’m saying all this, I’m starting to realize that I’m not making any point of why I’m saying this at all. Why am I saying all this? For you to see? For you to realize? You wouldn’t break up with Hwa no matter what I say. You wouldn’t get back with Eunjung. Basically, nothing would change.

                It’s not your fault. You deserve to be happy. And I’m happy for you. I know he’s constantly getting hurt in every moment that passes by. But, from now on, I’ll make sure he won’t get hurt anymore. One way or another, I’ll make sure someday he’ll smile again. I’ll do everything I can. I’d put blindfolds on him if I have to just so he won’t see you anymore.

                But go on Hyomin. Go on and feel free to have the time of your life with the person you love. And I’ll look after our Jungie. I don’t care if he doesn’t feel the same way for me. I just want to wipe his tears away. I’ll make sure he won’t cry again. And I’ll make sure he’ll never be alone again, our Jungie… my Jungie.

Love,

Jiyeon