B i t t e r   a s   c o f f e e

Chaerin forced a smile through her lips as she held the hot cup between her frozen hands.  At that moment, she was feeling as bitter as the coffee that was sliding down .

It was selfish of her to be feeling so hostile towards the situation and she knew it. But instead of changing her mindset, she was determined to simply smile and pretend she was enjoying the moment as much as the rest. However, as the time advanced -every second feeling longer than the previous-, pretending to be at ease started to become a difficult task for her.

The chuckles, the careless displays of affection and the tender words afflicted Chaerin's heart, and at the same time, it made her feel guilty... guilty of not feeling happy for her friend.

Bom, the sweet girl sitting in front of her, who had given Chaerin the gift of friendship ever since the both were in their puberty years, and who had managed to quickly earn a special spot in Chaerin's heart from day one, to the point of becoming a very dear person to her, was more than happy and excited to be in that place, with those individuals. She had planned and arranged the day with care. Because this was the first time for her to experience such encounter, she wanted to make everything more than special. Anticipating week after week, and month after month for this day to arrive was worth the wait, because now, to Bom's delight, she was finally able to introduce Chaerin to another person who was extremely important to her, and who made her feel unique and surreal things.

He was Seunghyun, her boyfriend.

Whispers, caresses, kisses, giggles. Every single action that reflected the affection they had for one another sickened Chaerin.

And in the middle of all those gestures of appreciation for the other, a voice stood out in Chaerin's ears from the rest of the people in that small, yet comfortable cafe...

“Thank you for coming Chae”, Bom uttered in her enchanting voice. “I'm happy that you have finally met Seunghyun” She added while flashing her friend a smile.

Chaerin felt defeated on the inside, and at the same time, forced a subtle smile on her lips.

“Well... seeing you so happy makes me happy as well. You don't have to thank me” The hypocritical words shamelessly escaped from Chaerin's mouth.

A silent interval remained between the three.

Uncomfortably, Chaerin gulped some of her remaining coffee, and cleared .

“Well, I'm glad I'm finally able to meet my competition” Another voice now ringed in Chaerin's ears, this time deeper, however. She lifted her stare and observed how Seunghyun was playfully smiling at her.

Confused, Chaerin asked, “excuse me?”

“Well, Bom always talks to me about you, she often tells me how great you are, and to be honest, I have become a little insecure, I feel like she loves you more than she loves me” He lowered his head, pretending to be afflicted.

As expected, Bom playfully hit him and stated how her love and appreciation for the two was equal, and different at the same time.

As expected of Seunghyun, he kept mocking Bom and pretending to be jealous of Chaerin. 

And as expected of Chaerin, she simply limited herself to play along and let out a soft chuckle.

Chaerin would be lying if she denied the fact that Seunghyun's words warmed her heart in those moments of bitterness, at least a tiny bit. The love and care that Bom had for Chaerin was oddly big. It brought happiness and contentment to Chaerin, yet at the same time, it made her reflect on the sad fact that she could never return the same amount of affection to Bom. Sometimes Chaerin wondered if she truthfully deserved that type of friendship, and in other occasions... in the majority of the occasions, she was selfish enough to accept that type of friendship that was based on an unbalanced amount of affection coming from the two.

'We get along just fine, what's the problem then?', Chaerin would often think.

An hour had already passed. Chaerin had been enduring this inner torment for an hour.

Something needed to be done, or else, she would collapse.

If there was something that Chaerin wasn't, was being a liar. However, when the situation justified it, she would make use of a white lie here and there...

...And to Chaerin, the present circumstance was more than justifiable.

“Already?” Bom disappointedly asked upon hearing Chaerin's announcement of her upcoming departure. Her face resembled a little kid's that had been told by his mother he had to stop playing at the playground to go home instead.

"Sadly, yes, I have to meet up with Harin at the mall, she wants me to help her choose an outfit for her first date... you know how it is” Chaerin let out a sigh and pretended to feel the same disillusionment as her friend.

“Oh... if that's the case, then I understand... Whoa, I can't believe Harin is going to have her first date already! You better help her choose a nice dress for her to wear. We'll meet again soon, so don't worry” Bom's mood changed almost instantly as she wore a bright smile on her face.

Chaerin nodded sympathetically and stood up from her seat, causing both Bom and her boyfriend to stand up as well.

“It was a pleasure to meet you Chaerin” Seunghyun extended his hand towards Chaerin's, while kindly flashing a grin on his face.

She observed the male's hand floating in the air towards her body and couldn't help but mentally hesitate for a second. But because rejecting his hand would be considered to be extremely rude, and giving out a rude first impression was the least thing she wished to accomplish, she gulped and obliged herself to link her hand with his while shaking it in a friendly manner.

As soon as her skin came in contact with his, a sensation of electricity ran through Chaerin's body; from the tip of her fingers to the marrow of her bones. The contact felt... surreal.

“Hey Chae, you should also start searching for a date! So that we can go out on a double date in the future” Bom interrupted Chaerin from her trance. The words clearly discontented Chaerin, and she wasn't dissembled enough to hide it, to what Bom quickly noticed.

“Ah... you know I'm kidding, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do” Bom worriedly spoke.

That's when Chaerin noticed how transparent she had acted. Upon the realization, she quickly shook her head and forced a smile yet again.

“No, no, I know... I know” She assured her friend.

Relieved, Bom returned the smiled and brought Chaerin into a warm hug as she uttered the words “Goodbye, friend”.

“Goodbye, goodbye” Chaerin left the cafe while waving her hand to the couple.

'Finally' Chaerin whispered under her breath.

To be honest, Chaerin wasn't lying in its entirety, because she was truthfully going to meet her younger sister Harin that day, and for the reasons explained previously. However, the meeting wasn't scheduled until seven o'clock, and it was just half past four. But again, sometimes, a little white lie's usage can be needed.

Shamelessly leaving the establishment, Chaerin fixed her coat and started to saunter across the town.

It was hard, hard for her, and it would probably be for everyone who was unfortunately part of her life.

A couple of steps farther of the cafe, her friend's last words echoed through her head... 'We'll meet again soon, so don't worry'.

We'll meet again soon...

...Don't worry.

But how couldn't she worry? When uncertainty and worrisome was everything she could feel while remembering those words.

To the sympathetic Bom, who put such passion in her friendship and maybe too much at times, Chaerin was the friend she had always appreciated the most.

To the inner conflicted Chaerin, who didn't bring half of what Bom brought to their friendship, who couldn't even celebrate her friend's happiness, who couldn't requite a lot of the things that Bom gave her, emotionally and more, Bom was the person she felt guilty of befriending and at the same time, extremely selfish for accepting such friendship without remorse.

~

“Hello sis~” Harin greeted Chaerin in a sing song tone as she entered the average-sized condo they called: home.

“Hello you rascal” Chaerin softly smiled as she patted her sister's head in a loving way. “Ready to leave?” She added.

“Mhmm...” Harin nodded in agreement as she followed her sister towards the front door. “How was it? Was he good looking?” Harin mischievously asked.

“Keep walking miss...” Chaerin avoided the subject as she lightly pushed her sister towards the corridor.

The teenager blew her bangs and whispered “killjoy...”

In the middle of that silent and empty corridor, the sound of a door closing itself was heard, continued by the strong sound of a troubled sigh.

I would be better off buried in the ground.

A/N: Yes! The real chapters have started, I hope you enjoyed your reading ^-^ And I'm so thankful to those who subscribed to the story, I don't get tired of saying it, you guys are awesome! Thank you once more :)