Routine tests. After a normal check-up, the doctor sent him to the lab to have blood taken and then he would be getting a CT scan and then he’d go home and wait for the test results. It was the same thing he’d done since this whole ordeal began. They just wanted to see how his cancer was progressing and whether or not treatments were working or whether they needed to move to a new course of action or, god forbid, plan another surgery. Ji was not really worried one way or another, but his parents seemed to be.

                He stared absently at the bandage on his inner arm where the nurse in the lab had taken blood as he waited for his CT scan. The hospital always had this incredibly sterile smell that bothered Jiyong. Maybe it just sort of reminded him that he was always sick – perpetually – and that there was nothing he could really do to help it. He inhaled the clinical scent, chuckling to himself. His parents had been conversing with doctors and nurses since they’d arrived at the hospital. Part of that made him nervous. Maybe he was a little worried that he would have to get some extreme treatments or something. But he shook the nervousness off. Being nervous wasn’t worth it. Cancer was always strange, and he’d long since learned to endure the strange happenings that cancer threw at him. Besides, he was probably the same level of not-okay as he’d always been.

                It didn’t take long for a nurse to come for him. She smiled when she called his name; he wondered if she didn’t realize the gravity of the situation. CT scans were almost always about determining the amount of cancer that was eating away at your body. At least they were, for Jiyong. He was not exactly happy about it, and smiles did more to annoy him than comfort him.

                “Don’t be nervous. It’s not going to hurt,” she commented, and Jiyong just glanced at her. Then she began rattling off instructions for how to lay perfectly still in the machine to get an accurate reading. He wasn’t really listening. He’d done this before.

                “If this thing turns me into some kind of super soldier, don’t sell me to the government,” Jiyong commented as he lay down in the machine. The nurse didn’t seem to get the joke. “Never mind,” he muttered, and he listened to her warnings to stay completely still again.

                The scans always seemed to be over as soon as they started. It was like taking a break from the world, and each time, Jiyong nearly fell asleep in the machine, but they always seemed to pull him out before his body could get too comfortable. Before he knew it, there were nurses helping him up, and he frowned a little as they walked him to the door.

                His walking was getting better. He still had his cane, but he didn’t like being helped. When the nurse brought him out of the room, his mother was waiting there with his cane and a big smile on her face.

                “You did really good,” she assured him. It was a little corny, considering CT scans required about as much effort as afternoon naps, but he smiled for her anyway and he took his cane. Now, they’d wait for the doctors to come out and tell him what looked concerning on his CT scan and what they thought the next course of action should be. His mom escorted him to a chair and she sat with him and they waited.

                And they waited.

                And what seemed like an eternity later, the doctor came out. He asked to speak with Jiyong’s parents. His parents glanced at each other, and they stood slowly and went with the doctor into some sort of room. That was different. It was different enough that Jiyong began to get nervous. For a while, he stared at the room, his hands wringing the handle of his cane. He replayed the image of the doctor coming out of the room, and he analyzed the doctor’s face and tried to decipher what could have possibly been so different that his parents had to be called away. His mind was thinking the worst. After a while, he decided to text Seunghyun. Seunghyun could take his mind off of things and calm him down. He clutched his cell phone in his hand for a few moments, unsure of what to say. Then, he opened the text thread.

                “So, I just had a CT scan and I think it must have been bad,” he sent before he thought about it. Surprisingly, Seunghyun responded quickly, his phone buzzing less than a minute after he sent it.

                “WHAT?!” was the reply. He winced. He didn’t want to scare Seunghyun, since nobody had told him anything, yet.

                “I don’t know. The doctor came out and asked to talk to my parents alone,” he responded. He mulled over the text before sending it. It was the truth, at least. Maybe it wasn’t anything bad, but he sort of wanted Seunghyun to help reassure him that it wasn’t.

                “Why? That doesn’t sound good,” Seunghyun replied; again, his texting at lightning speed. Jiyong frowned, his eyes shifting back towards that door.

                “Don’t say that. I’m scared,” he typed, sending the message as his eyes studied the door behind which were his parents and the doctor. It had been more than 20 minutes. He was getting really nervous. His phone buzzed again, and his eyes shifted back to his phone. He exhaled slowly, bravely checking the message.

                “Don’t be afraid. It’s probably fine,” Seunghyun had responded. Jiyong nodded, the reassurance comforting him a little.

                “I hope so. I just hope it’s not more surgery,” Jiyong lamented, exhaling sharply as he typed. Surgery had become a bit of a terror, for him. Every surgery ran the risk of not recovering, and even when you did survive, there was a lot of healing time that was unpleasant and painful and a lot of drugs to keep you comfortable and healthy. Surgery was not pleasant, and Jiyong was not interested in having more of them if he could help it.

                The door opened. It was his father, and he looked ghost white. Jiyong’s heart dropped. He panicked, his eyes widening as his father approached him.

                “Am I gonna die?” he asked, exasperated, and his father shushed him, silently helping him up. “Appa, no… No, I don’t wanna go, please!” he begged, panic welling up inside of him and bursting out. He began to hyperventilate. And not the annoying kind he was used to because of his stupid lungs. He literally could not breathe and his chest violently heaved as he struggled to breathe.

                “Calm down, Jiyong-ah,” his father’s deep voice said soothingly, his arms wrapping around his son. Jiyong tried, but he physically couldn’t breathe, and the more he struggled, the more it scared him. Soon, tears were streaming down his face, and he was clutching his chest, and the room seemed to get dimmer. A nurse rushed over to him, and she began to remove his cannula. His father’s arms cradled him as the nurse placed an oxygen mask over his face, it didn’t seem to help; he still couldn’t seem to catch his breath. The room was getting dark; he was going to pass out. He tried to tell his dad, but he couldn’t get out any words. And his dad’s face was fading. He still couldn’t breathe…

                He woke up looking at his mother’s face. Her hand was clutching his and she looked like she had been crying. . He’d been hospitalized again, he figured, and he tried to ask but his throat was restricted and it hurt a little. He exhaled sharply, only to have air forced into his chest – it surprised him a little.

                “It’s okay, baby,” his mother whispered when she saw his eyes opened. “Don’t worry. You’re okay.” He tried to ask her what was wrong, but he could only manage a slight sound. His throat hurt. “Shh. Don’t try to speak right now. You’re still on a ventilator.”

                Ventilator? He tried hard to remember what had happened. The last thing he remembered was that he’d gotten a CT scan and that his father had come to get him. What he couldn’t figure out was what had happened between that time that he’d ended up on a ventilator and back in a hospital bed? His mother pressed the call button for a nurse. Jiyong tried to sit up, but it hurt and his mother stopped him.

                “No, just lay there,” she smiled at him, squeezing his hand. “You’re going to be alright. It’s alright,” she assured him in Korean. “We just had a little scare. But you woke up, so it’s alright.”

                A nurse rushed into the room.

                “Is everything okay?” she asked.

                “He’s awake,” his mother responded. The nurse began to examine him, and she checked his vitals on the machine.

                “Welcome back, Ji,” the nurse smiled; she was not one of his usual nurses.

                “Should I tell him what happened?” his mother asked cautiously. The nurse nodded.

                “He’s probably a little scared, so you should be as honest with him as possible. Would you like for me to help you tell him?” the nurse asked.

                Tell me what? Ji thought, his mind racing. Did he almost die again? … If it happened again, then how long before the almost part became definitely?

                “Oh… I don’t know how to tell him,” his mother sighed, squeezing his hand again. The nurse looked empathetic.

                “I’ll help you,” she offered. “It’s better for him to hear from his parents, but I’ll help you if you need me to.” His mother nodded. The nurse put a hand on her shoulder. His mother looked at him, and she smiled again.

                “Jiyong-ah… you had fluid in your lungs. It was making it hard for you to breathe, so you had to have it drained. When you passed out, you wouldn’t wake up…” his mother paused. She looked like she was going to cry again. Her hand squeezed his and her free hand covered as she blinked back tears.

                “Would you like for me to tell him, Mrs. Kwon?” the nurse asked. His mother nodded. “It’s alright. Remember how I told you to have faith? He’ll pull through this, okay?” the nurse added. His mother nodded again, but she sniffled a little as if she might burst into tears at any moment. The nurse glanced at Jiyong, and she smiled when their eyes met.

                “You seem alert today, Ji,” she smiled. Ji just stared at her; it wasn’t like he had any other option. “Don’t worry. Like your mother said, you’re going to be fine. You’ve been in a small coma for three days. During that time, we inserted a tube into your lungs to drain the fluid that had built up. We made a small incision here,” she placed a hand on his chest just above the tubing that Jiyong had suddenly become conscious of. Suddenly, it hurt. The nurse must’ve seen the panic in his eyes, because she smiled. “Don’t worry about that. We will remove it very soon, and close it up, and you’ll be back to normal. Other than that, you currently are on the breathing tube. That means we’ve placed a tube down your throat to help you breathe while your lungs get better. Don’t worry. Now that you’re awake, we’ll be working towards removing it. It’s not permanent, for you. Your doctor just wants to keep you on your regular oxygen and CPAP. The only not-so-pleasant news, sweetheart, is that we may need to see you again, soon, for another surgery. I’ll let Dr. Colson tell you more about that when he comes in to see you today.”

                “You shouldn’t tell him that. He doesn’t like surgery,” his mother interjected, her voice shaking as if she were holding back from openly weeping. Jiyong wanted to tell her that it was okay, and that he wasn’t afraid, but he couldn’t. Instead, he just held up his hand and slowly managed to form a thumbs up.

                “Okay? You’re okay?” she asked him. He nodded slightly, looking directly into her eyes.

                “He’s a brave one,” the nurse commented, smiling a little.

                “When can he come off of the ventilator?” his mother asked eagerly, looking up at the nurse in earnest.

                “Well, let’s let Dr. Colson come by, first, and see what he thinks. But I don’t think they’ll leave him on it much longer. We can probably switch him to a CPAP as early as tomorrow,” the nurse smiled. She looked at Jiyong. “Does that sound good?” she asked him. He nodded a little. “Alright, brave boy. I’m going to page Dr. Colson for you, so that he can tell you what’s next as soon as possible, okay? You might still be a bit groggy, so don’t be nervous if you fall asleep again. It’s normal. Don’t fight to stay awake.” Jiyong nodded again.

                “He won’t … if he falls asleep… he will wake up?” his mother asked. The nurse nodded, smiling at her.

                “Sleep is normal and unrelated to a comatose state. He will need to sleep to heal, so don’t worry if he falls asleep,” she reassured her. “I’ll be back soon to check on him. Talk to him, in the meantime,” the nurse urged his mother. She nodded, staring at her hospitalized son. When the nurse left, the room was silent for a while, aside from the sound of the ventilator breathing for him. It felt strange, and his mother was just staring at him, and all he wanted was for this nightmare to be over.

                “Appa went to work. He… he wanted to stay, but he had to go to work,” his mother mentioned. She seemed like she didn’t know what to say. “You must be so scared,” she commented. He nodded a little. Honestly, he was a little scared. He always joked about dying but he didn’t really want to die. He had a lot of things that he wanted to experience. And he wanted to see Seunghyun again. He couldn’t die, yet, and for the first time in a long time, he was truly scared. His mother started to cry again, so he reached out for her hand, and she took his hand, smiling at him through her tears.

                “You… my brave son,” she cried. He really wasn’t brave. Surviving didn’t make him brave. Maybe it made him lucky, but the last thing he felt was brave. “… We’ll be going home, soon. So, you just get better and I’ll take you home. I won’t let them keep you here, this time.” She chuckled a little, wiping at the tears on her face. Then she kissed his knuckles, and she held his hand close. “One day, you’ll be all better… and we can celebrate.”

                He shook his head. He didn’t believe that, and he didn’t like the false assurance. It was becoming more and more apparent that that wasn’t true. He was sick, and he wasn’t really getting better. It was the second time in a few months that he’d been hospitalized; the second time that he’d been comatose.

                “Jiyong-ah,” his mother cried, “have more faith than that!” she scolded through her tears. He felt guilty for being so pessimistic, but how was he supposed to feel? He was the one laying in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of his body and fluid draining from his lungs. “Everyone believes in you. Dami… she believes. Appa believes. Your friend Seunghyun even believes in you. You have to believe, too. You have to believe you will get better.”

                Jiyong could admit that he’d sort of stopped paying attention at the sound of Seunghyun’s name. His eyes must have lit up, because his mother nodded a little.

                “I did talk to him. I wanted to let him know you weren’t well… just in case. Since he’s your special friend…” her eyes dropped a little, and she held his hand with both of hers, rubbing his skin with her fingers. “His mother and the hospital made it so that he could come see you. He brought you a present… I even let him talk to you for a while.”

                Jiyong had so many questions. Was he scared? Did he cry? How was he doing? His eyes traced his mother’s frame and after a few moments, he pushed out a small sound; it was really more of a marked huff of air. His mother glanced at him, and she smiled.

                “Ah… yes, he said to tell you, when you wake up… he likes you better awake and you are not allowed to have any more comas,” she chuckled lightly, her fingers gently traveling over the skin of his hand. “He wrote you a letter! But I’m forbidden from reading… should I read it to you?” she asked, her eyes searching Ji’s face curiously. Ji shook his head slowly. “Arasso… Then, would you like to read it? Eh, but… maybe after you feel a little more alert,” she offered. Ji nodded a little. “Okay… then when the doctor says you can go back to CPAP, I will give it to you.” Ji nodded again. His mother smiled, and then kissed his knuckles again. “My brave son,” she muttered in Korean. Jiyong closed his eyes. He was tired, and hearing about Seunghyun had sort of relaxed him. Maybe, he figured, he’d get a nap before the doctor came.

                “Jiyong-ah…” his mother called nervously. He opened his eyes. “… Are you just sleepy?” He nodded a little. She looked a little worried, but she nodded back. “Okay. Sleep, then.” He nodded, and he held his thumb up again, to let her know he was okay. Then he closed his eyes.

                The next day had been a roller coaster. He was feeling better, and much more alert, so the doctor approved him to have the ventilator removed and switched out for a CPAP. Then he was sedated a bit to have the tube removed. Then he was groggy and high feeling, and he kept falling asleep when the CPAP was attached. The nurse kept saying something about weaning. Then he was fed ice chips and started on wet foods. They gave him medicine for pain and medicine to stabilize his blood pressure and medicine to keep the medicines from making him sick. His mother went from crying to smiling to laughing to crying. His father kept his cool and worked from his laptop and entertained him with anecdotes when he was sentient enough.

                But all he could think about was Seunghyun’s letter. He still was having a tough time talking, because his throat still hurt and his lungs seemed to have a small capacity, but when it was around 8PM, he managed to ask his mother about the letter. She seemed excited that he asked; maybe taking it as a sign that we was healing nicely or something; and she gave him the letter and left the room with his father to give him some privacy. If there was one thing he loved about his mother, it was how supportive she was.

                Dear Jiyong,

                It began.

                How ing dare you. I never gave you permission to black out on me. And while we were in the middle of a text conversation, no less.

                He continued. Jiyong managed a small chuckle.

I don’t suppose I have to explain to you just how distraught you made me. First, you alarm me by telling me that you have had a bad CT scan result, and then you disappear for the rest of the day. Extraordinarily rude. And then your mother calls and says that you’ve slipped into a coma. The audacity. I suppose you thought this would be a good way to pay me back for not calling you when my chemotherapy first began. Well, consider us even. And if you ever scare me like this, again, and you don’t actually die, I promise that you will die by my hand.

                Jiyong laughed. It hurt. He winced and read on.

                I guess I should be telling you how much I love you and how I miss you terribly and wish for your speedy recovery. And I guess all of that would be true. But for some reason, I don’t want to say that. I want to pretend that you’re not sick and that you’re just being an , because that’s easier for me. ‘,’ I can process. The idea that I may never be able to speak to you again… that, I can’t process. So, I won’t. I will speak to you again. And when I do, I’m going to curse you out for scaring me like this. So, don’t you even think of dying, because if you do, I’m going to be really mad.

                Jiyong’s smile dropped.

                I keep thinking about that, Jiyong. About losing you. I keep thinking about how terribly real it is that I could lose you right now. And it’s not fair. I’ve barely had you. I’ve barely had you, so please don’t take that away from me, yet. I haven’t kissed you enough. I haven’t told you how much I love you. There are so many things we haven’t done together. Like… successfully finished a game of Halo. Or moved to Paris and adopted a labradoodle together. I’m not even sure I want to move to Paris or own a labradoodle, but thinking about doing it with you makes me wish for it terribly. And it makes me angry that we might not get to.

I tried to be funny and light hearted, because I wanted to make you smile. I’m sorry. I really tried. But I just miss you, and I don’t want you to die, so don’t. If you’re reading this, you didn’t. So, thank you. And please try very hard not to in the future. , I know that both of us are going through something that might make that a hard promise to make. But, I promise I won’t die before you get enough of loving me. And I hope that you’ll try to make the same promise, because I’m not finished loving you. I’ve barely started.

                Damn it. He was crying. He hadn’t cried over anything in a long time, and Seunghyun had managed to bring it out of him.

                So, I want to start. I mean, I want to officially start. Because making out in my bedroom isn’t starting. So, when you’re well enough and not in the hospital, I’ve planned a date. Your clue is this: this iconic character first appeared in Detective Comics #27 in 1939. I’m sure you probably already know the answer to that, but I dare you to try to figure out what that means in relation to our date. And… I hope you actually wake up soon, because otherwise, it’s going to be really hard to keep this particular date. Get better! I love you. –Seunghyun.

                Ji laughed a little, tears streaming down his face. He wiped at his cheek with the back of his hand, wishing he could call Seunghyun immediately. A Batman-related date? It was perfect. Seunghyun was perfect. The only problem was, how were the two of them – both damn-near broken by their diseases – supposed to actually go out on a real date? One that wasn’t supervised or in a controlled environment? Jiyong had never actually been on a real date, and until now, he’d never even considered that it would be possible for him. Now, however, he was dying to go. Now, he had a wonderful boyfriend who had planned something special and all he wanted to do was be a normal teenager and go on a real date.

                Now, getting better had to happen, because now, more than ever, he had a real reason to. 

AN- Hi guys! A little bit of a sad one. The road ahead will be rough. I will try to keep posting more regularly, now! So, keep reading, commenting, and so on. I'm so happy to see so many people stick with this story, and really excited to see new readers! I... don't want to foreshadow too much or let on too much about what will happen to our boys, but I'm sorry for any sad posts. But it won't all be sad! There's some happy moments ahead, too! Stay tuned! "Same Bat-time, Same Bat-channel!"