Jiyong didn’t see Seunghyun again that day, and it was stupid, but he felt a sense of disappointment. Seunghyun had been a highlight of an otherwise terrible week, and though they’d only spent about two hours together, Jiyong thought he’d maybe found a new friend. It had been a few days since then, and as much as he tried not to, Jiyong couldn’t help thinking about the guy. He wondered if something bad had happened; if he’d fallen into a coma, or was suddenly bed-ridden. Cancer had a way of doing that to perfectly fine seeming people. Then again, he wondered if he was just too pathetic and Seunghyun didn’t want to see that anymore. Maybe it was a scary glance into his possible future and Seunghyun couldn’t handle it. It was stupid. Jiyong didn’t even know why he was worried about it.

                He was feeling a little stronger, now, but he knew it was fleeting because his doctors had just come up with a new course of action to take, and pretty soon he’d be back to feeling ever-crappier until the chemo treatments were done for this round. He would get to go home in the meantime; just in time to come back for a Saturday support group session. His mom was talking to him about something; his treatments, or the typical worried and concerned talk she gave him when they left the hospital for a while; he wasn’t really listening. His parents had packed up his stuff the night before, and his dad was tying the laces on the brand new Nike sneakers they’d bought him for surviving. His parents had taken to buying him pointless gifts every time he came home from a hospital stay since his first stay four years earlier. He’d told them a few times not to do it, that they needed the money, but it made his parents feel good, and was their ritual, so he didn’t stop them.

                “That’s not too tight?” his dad asked him after he’d finished tying the shoes.

                “Nah, its fine. Thanks, Dad,” Ji replied, taking a deep breath. His dad looked up at him with concern. “I’m fine.”

                “You keep breathing like that,” his dad commented, suddenly examining him. “Your lungs bother you? I told that doctor you need oxygen.”

                “I don’t need oxygen, Dad, I’m fine,” Ji replied, making a mental note not to … breathe weird around his father.

                “You don’t have to pretend to be strong. If something bother you, you need to tell us,” his dad insisted, cupping his face and examining his face for signs of strain or discomfort. Ji frowned a little. “See? Something hurt you, right?”

                “No,” he sighed, moving his father’s hands. “I promise, I’m alright. Okay? Don’t worry so much.” Ji knew that was easier to ask than it was for either of his parents to do. He knew that they were afraid. They’d thought they were going to lose him just a week ago, and it was still uncertain how well he was, even though he was okay to rest at home, now. The fussing over him was just a bit taxing, and Ji just wanted to go home in peace.

                “Okay,” his father nodded although Ji could read his concern in his face. “But you have to let us know if something bother you. Don’t keep it to yourself, Jiyong-ah. It’s very important, you let someone know.” Ji just nodded, looking away from his dad. Sometimes he really hated being sick. Legally, he was an adult, but he still felt like a child. He was even still in the pediatric ward.

                “We just want you to get all better. Okay? So, don’t be upset, Appa just want you to get better,” his mom chimed in, glancing at him as she stuffed his Spongebob blanket into a bag. He knew that’s all they wanted. His parents hadn’t accepted that his cancer would never be cured; he’d accepted it a long time ago. Ji was a little grateful for the knock at the door frame for breaking the tension, and he and his parents glanced towards the door. The door wasn’t closed completely, but it was shut enough that they couldn’t see who had just knocked.

                “Yes, who is that?” Ji’s father called out, and he stood up; having been crouched in front of Jiyong; and headed to the door. The person didn’t answer, but instead pushed the door open a little, his dark eyes widening when he saw Jiyong’s father. Ji’s eyes widened, too. It was Seunghyun.

                “Um… this is Ji’s room, right?” he asked nervously before his eyes landed on Ji.

                “Hey! I thought I’d seen the last of you,” Ji exclaimed, waving his new friend in. “Dad, that’s Seunghyun.”

                “Oh, Seunghyun,” his father held out a hand to the tall young man, shaking his hand firmly. “I’m Ji’s father. He told us he met a boy his age here.” Seunghyun seemed awkward and nervous, and he nodded a little, mumbling out a small “yes, sir.” “You can come in. We’re going home today.”

                “Yep, I’m a free man, for now,” Ji chuckled. He placed his hands firmly at either side of him on the bed, pushing himself slowly into a standing position; he’d barely been standing all week, but he was determined not to wheel out of the hospital. Getting too used to a wheel chair could make it permanent, he told himself.

                “Ya, Jiyong-ah! Don’t get up so fast,” his father yelled, rushing to his side as if something had just happened.

                “Dad. I’m fine,” Ji frowned, but his father held onto him anyway, and as he took steps towards Seunghyun, his dad escorted him.

                “You didn’t have to get up,” Seunghyun commented. He looked a bit guilty, but Ji just chuckled.

                “I did have to get up. It wasn’t really for you. You were just a good excuse,” he brushed his dad away carefully, and then shook Seunghyun’s hand. “Not gonna stay in that chair forever.”

                “You’re not gonna, like… tumble over, are you?” Seunghyun asked nervously. Ji laughed.

                “If I do, I’ll just fall forward, so you’ll break my fall,” he joked, smiling brightly. “It’s good to see you again.” He was still shaking Seunghyun’s hand, though he didn’t seem to notice.

                “Yeah. I wanted to come by after my appointment, but my mom was being weird,” Seunghyun blushed a little, realizing that they were still holding hands, and he dropped Jiyong’s hand quickly. “Sorry.”

                “Oh. Nah, my bad. I guess I’m just excited. I don’t really get a lot of visitors,” Ji chuckled, patting Seunghyun on the shoulder. “Um, you wanna come in and hang? I’m not packing or anything, we were just waiting for my doctor.”

                “Uh… sure,” Seunghyun smiled, and Jiyong gripped his arm, bracing himself. Seunghyun’s eyes widened nervously, and Jiyong realized he seemed a little uncomfortable, so he slowly let go.

                “Come on, man, you gotta help me hobble back to the bed.” Jiyong smiled brightly, chuckling a little. “I’m still kinda shaky.”

                “Oh. Oh, yeah, sure, man,” the guy replied, smiling shyly as he offered his arm to Ji again. Ji chuckled again, shaking his head as he took hold of Seunghyun’s arm. He caught his dad’s worried glance, and he gave the man a “shut-up-and-let-me-be” look, and he secured himself on Seunghyun’s stronger arm, carefully taking a shaky step. “You sure you don’t wanna use the-“

                “I can walk. I’m gonna walk outta here, I can walk to the bed,” Ji cut him off sharply; sharper than he’d meant to; and he took another wobbly step. “See? I’m practically ready for the New York Marathon.” Seunghyun laughed at Ji’s humor; Ji smiled brightly.

                “Yeah, we can sign up for it together, once we’re both NEC,” Seunghyun smiled. Ji looked up at him quietly, nodding a little. He wasn’t ever going to be NEC. The reminder stung a little, but he knew Seunghyun was just trying to be optimistic, so he didn’t comment on it. “Just a few more steps,” Seunghyun mentioned as Jiyong got closer to the bed. “Wanna take the last few on your own?”

                “Yeah, good idea,” Ji agreed, and he let go of Seunghyun’s arm, his parents watching him with bated breath. He glanced at his dad for approval; honestly, he still needed them both more than he liked to admit; and his dad gave him a smile, so he took a step on his own, wobbling a little. Wobbly; but successful; so he took another step, and he laughed. It had been a while since he walked on his own. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. The last few steps probably looked labored, but they felt like walking on air, and he stood at the bedside celebrating those steps for a moment. He could hear his mom sniffle a little, and he looked at her; she was holding back tears. It embarrassed him.

                “Omma…” he frowned, and she waved him off, turning away from them all. Seunghyun blushed a little, looking as if he’d done something wrong, and his eyes landed on Ji. Ji smiled at him. “Parents, huh? Anyway, sit down.” Ji took a seat on the edge of the bed, letting out a huff as he did, catching his breath a little. Seunghyun hesitated a little, but he took a seat next to Jiyong on the bed.

                “You did good,” Seunghyun commented awkwardly. Ji shrugged.

                “I can walk. Seriously. I know first impressions are everything, but I’m not usually in a chair,” he brushed the topic off quickly, pushing a hand through his neatly styled hair. “Anyway, what made you decide to visit?”

                “I had another appointment today… You weren’t in the um… Romp & Play room today, so I came to find you,” Seunghyun smiled. “But look at you, going home.”

                “Yeah,” Ji smiled, “I’ll be back, though. I just get to go home and rest up. Then I’ll be ready for round two!” Ji made fists, ghost-boxing the air, and Seunghyun chuckled.

                “… I start round one next week,” he commented, casually, as if he was trying to be indifferent about it, but Ji could tell he was sort of afraid. The first time was certainly scary.

                “, man. You gonna be in-patient, or you get to stay home?” Ji asked, eyeing Seunghyun curiously.

                “I’ll be going home every day. Right now, my doctor says if I do well with the treatment, I won’t have to stay here,” Seunghyun sighed a little, and he scratched his head nervously.

                “Well… hey, maybe I can keep you company. You know, while you go through all the y shi- um.. stuff,” Ji glanced at his parents, hoping they hadn’t noticed his cursing. His dad gave him a knowing look, and Ji smiled innocently at him, and his dad laughed a little.

                “That’s nice, but won’t you need to be resting?” Seunghyun shook his head a little. “It’s okay, don’t go out of your way.”

                “I will go out of my way. Cuz you need cancer friends. After a while, your friends stop visiting, and then you don’t have friends, and that’s when you need cancer friends,” Ji rambled; he had a bad habit of rambling. There weren’t a lot of people to talk to, so when he did have them around, he seemed to babble. He wanted to work on that.

                “Your school friends don’t visit?”

                “Well, I haven’t been in school for a while…” Ji smiled a little. “Technically, I’m still a junior.”

                “In high school? Oh. I’m a freshman in college,” Seunghyun commented, smiling to himself. “I thought it would be weird being in the pediatric ward.”

                “Why are you? … I’m here because I’ve been here since I was 15,” Ji asked curiously. Seunghyun shrugged.

                “My general doctor is still my pediatrician? And I’m 19, so I guess that’s still pediatric or something… I dunno,” Seunghyun laughed a little to himself, glancing at Ji.

                “We’re the same age,” Ji grinned.

                “Are we? Cool,” Seunghyun nodded. “Thought you were younger than me, to be honest,”

                “It’s because I’m so pretty,” Ji used the same joke again, but he glanced cautiously at his dad instead of laughing. Seunghyun chuckled a little. “I was just kidding” Ji added quickly.

                “Yeah,” Seunghyun smiled. He actually thought that Ji was kind of pretty, to be a guy, and to have been in the hospital. But it seemed inappropriate to say, so he kept that opinion to himself.

                “Anyway,  I told you last time I’ve had cancer for 4 years, remember? And that I got it when I was 15. Math must not be your strong suit,” Ji chuckled.

                “How am I supposed to remember the details of your diagnosis when I can barely remember mine?” Seunghyun smiled.

                “Poor listening skills. The first thing to go,” he shook his head playfully. “Sad, really.”

                “Sense of humility must be the second thing,” Seunghyun replied, amusing Ji.

                “Next thing you know, you’ll be wheeling around, looking for douchebags in $150 shoes to bully into giving you the XBOX controller,” Ji smirked, challenging Seunghyun’s wit. The guy seemed amused, and he smiled at Ji, chuckling to himself.

                “I can’t tell if you’re really a jackass, or if it’s just a symptom of too much chemo,”

                “That is incredibly insensitive, sir, to a dying man,” Ji laughed, but he glanced at his father again, who seemed to not find this conversation as amusing as Ji had. “Mianhaeyo, Appoji, Ommani,” he apologized to his parents quickly in Korean, confusing Seunghyun.

                “Aniyo, Jiyong-ah,” his mother commented, and she smiled at him; she was only happy to see him have a friend.

                “My parents… are a little sensitive, so…” Ji told Seunghyun quietly. Seunghyun nodded, blushing nervously again. “It’s okay… So, wanna see if I can walk to the Romp & Play room? We can play your weird Western game.” Ji thought it would be less awkward; and less restricted; if they went somewhere his parents weren’t.

                “Jiyong-ah,” his dad reacted as soon as he’d suggested it, but his mom cut a disapproving look at him. “… At least be careful.”

                “I’m fine. I promise, Dad,” Ji smiled at his father, and he pushed himself up onto his feet again, slowly. Seunghyun stood up quickly, reacting to help Ji, his hands grabbing Ji’s shoulders. “Heh. Thanks…” Ji blushed a little, despite himself.

                “Will it hurt your masculinity if I help you at least to the door?” Seunghyun teased, smiling a little.

                “Shut up,” Ji chuckled, latching onto Seunghyun’s side. “You … might be helping me father than that, to be honest.”

                “Nah, you can walk. I think you can handle it,” Seunghyun was just trying to be supportive. If Jiyong needed to hold onto him, he’d definitely allow it. “If you fall, I guess you’ll just have to lay there until someone takes pity on you.” Jiyong laughed, but he clutched onto Seunghyun nervously as they walked towards the door.

                “You’re mean, Seunghyun. We’re no longer friends,” Jiyong replied casually.

                “Yeah, yeah. By the way, you should probably call me Top. Most people call me Top,”

                “I’m not going to call you anything. We’re no longer friends,” Jiyong smirked.

                “I’d drop you if your mom wasn’t right there,” Seunghyun chuckled.

                “My dad would kick your ,” Jiyong bit his lip, looking back to see if his dad had heard him swearing, but they were already out of the room; he hadn’t even realized they’d walked that far. He smiled. “I can walk!”

                “Yeah, right. You can be dragged,” Seunghyun teased. Ji chuckled.

                “You’re not doing anything but keeping me balanced. I feel like I’m walking,”

                “You are,” Seunghyun smiled, but as cute as Ji’s happiness was, it was also a little sad that a guy that young was excited about taking a few steps outside of his hospital room. “You want me to let go, now?”

                “Noooo!” Ji panicked a little, his grip on Seunghyun tightening. “I… I mean, I know you’re enjoying carrying me, so why would I deprive you of that?” Ji didn’t want to lose face in front of Seunghyun. He couldn’t let him know he was actually afraid he’d fall.

                “I can live without it,” Seunghyun smiled a little, wondering if they were flirting; he kind of wanted it to be flirting. “But, if you’re being that kind, I’ll enjoy it a little longer.” Ji looked up at him, and he smiled at the smaller guy. He blushed, looking away quickly.

                “Seems like at this speed, it’ll take 20 minutes to get to the R&P Room,” Ji changed the subject, clearing his throat.

                “You insisted on walking,” Seunghyun commented, letting him go slowly. Jiyong’s eyed widened, and he gripped Seunghyun’s arm tightly. “Keep going. What, are you trying to make it an hour?”

                “Seunghyun, I’ll fall,” Jiyong said quickly, his eyes fearful.

                “You’re not gonna fall,” Seunghyun felt guilty for letting him go, and it was kind of heartbreaking  that he didn’t think he could do it, so he frowned. “Just take a step, I’m right here.”

                “Why’d you let go? I didn’t say I was ready,” Jiyong complained, but he took a wobbly step anyway. “I can’t walk in this condition. You’re just trying to prove to me that I can’t,” he took another wobbly step, and then he seemed to get frustrated, and he let out a groan. “It was faster when you were holding onto me.”

                “I’m right here. You can do it, you’re just scared. I’m not gonna let you fall, I was just kidding,” he reassured Ji. Ji glared at him.

                “I’m not scared. You don’t get it,” Ji bit his lip, trying not to say anything mean to this new friend. He didn’t have friends, he reminded himself. This guy was actually cool and wanted to be his friend. He could be nice. It wasn’t Seunghyun’s fault he was sick, and he could be nice to him. “I can’t walk…. Let’s go get my chair.”

                “No. Hell no, stop being a baby, and take another step,” Seunghyun demanded. Ji scoffed.

                “You can’t call me a baby. I almost died last week! How the am I supposed to walk that far?” Jiyong was only being difficult because he was afraid, and he knew that. He didn’t want to fuss with his new friend, but his anxiety was making that difficult.

                “You were already walking. Look at you, standing there by yourself. If you can stand, you can walk. … Look, I do get it. You’re afraid. So what? Every kid here is afraid,” Seunghyun stared at him for a while, but Ji didn’t move or comment. “Alright, if you don’t walk, I’m gonna put you on my back and carry you.”

                “No, you have Leukemia. You’ll die,” Ji commented dryly. Seunghyun laughed. “I’m serious. Leukemia kids can’t carry sarcoma kids. It’s common knowledge.”

                “Why? Will we spontaneously combust?”

               “I’m serious, Seunghyun, I can’t let you do that. You’re sick, too,” Ji sighed a little, and he took another wobbly step. “I can do this.”

                “Okay, but can you go faster? I was kinda hoping to play this game before my 23^rd birthday,” Seunghyun smirked, and Jiyong chuckled a little.

                “No, I can’t. … I’ll try,” Jiyong replied, taking a couple more steps. These were a bit more stable, so Jiyong took another, but he wobbled a bit, and gasped. “I’m gonna fall,” he whined.

                “My god, you’re such a baby,” Seunghyun groaned, his arm sliding back around Jiyong. “I didn’t think you were a baby when I met you the last time.” Jiyong looked away from him, his face blushing a little.

                “It’s not funny… I was really excited, but I can’t do it,” Jiyong felt like crying, but he didn’t let himself. He hadn’t let himself cry over his illness in a long time. It had been over a year since the last time he cried. He couldn’t walk that well today, but it would be better tomorrow, he reminded himself. Nothing was wrong with his legs; he was just weak. He would get stronger.

                “One day at a time. Just make sure you get on your feet a little every day,” Seunghyun commented, and Jiyong just nodded. “So… hold on to me, and let’s take a few more steps.”

                “I mildly hate you right now, Seunghyun,” Jiyong commented. Seunghyun frowned a little.

                “That’s too bad. I’m fond of you,”

                “I mean, I’m fond of you, too, but I hate you, too.”

                “… I wish you wouldn’t,” Seunghyun’s heart was kind of dropping every time Jiyong said that word. It felt like something was being ripped away from him. He didn’t like that word from Jiyong.

                “… I just wanna be able to walk myself down a damn hall without help,” Jiyong sounded bitter again. That was the tone Seunghyun remembered from when they first met. He helped Jiyong take a few more steps, then Jiyong stopped them. “I like you, I don’t hate you. I’m mad at myself, not you. So… don’t take it personal. Sorry.”

                “Yeah,”

Author's note: Thanks guys for all the feedback and great comments! Just to ease any worries for those reading TFiOS; this story will NOT spoil the book, for you. It will borrow elements from that book, but it won't follow that story, and Ji and Top are not Hazel and Gus. :) The above chapter is actually p1 for this chapter. I split it, because it was longer, and will be better read in two pieces. I will probably post again this weekend for that reason. That said, please enjoy! Comments are welcomed! & Hi to all new subscribers!