get acquainted

Subject: Re: office romance

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Welcome!

Hey, this is Kim Joonmyun, just checking in to see how you’ve been doing!

I hope you’ve been settling down nicely and getting yourself acquainted with the office. As the new Director of Marketing, you’ll be working closely with me and the rest of the team, which is made up of the presidents, me and Yifan, and the other 8 directors.

If you need anything, you can ask my assistant Sehun, or Yifan’s assistant Zitao. Or, you can just come to me with any questions.

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Welcome!

President Kim,

Thank you for the welcome email. Thank you for your well wishes. I’ve been adjusting to the new office quite well. I’ll let you know if I have any questions.

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Re: Welcome!

It’s no problem! By the way, you can forego “President Kim” and just call me Joonmyun! We’re all close to each other in the team!

_____

Yifan: hey i went into your email during lunch to grab something and I saw your monitor

Yifan: you must really like this new girl if you’re ending every sentence with a !

Joonmyun: was it tacky?

Joonmyun:

Yifan: lol don’t worry about it

Yifan: I think you made an impression when you smiled too wide and your jaw popped

Joonmyun: so do I have a chance w/ her?

Yifan: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

_____

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: yoooooo

My favorite dongsaeng!!

Oh man you’re finally here! I’ve been waiting for the old director of marketing to finally retire so you can take his place and now you’re here working with 12 attractive young men [eyebrow wiggle]

So, what do you think?

PS: don’t use the bathroom on this floor. Go downstairs to pee. It’s worth it, I swear, because baekhyun and chanyeol have the kinkiest in the bathroom here. I remember I had to pee really really badly and I opened the door on them accidentally and I peed my pants a bit but luckily for me, I had a change of clothes in my soccer bag so I walked around w/ my suit jacket and soccer shorts for the rest of the day

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: yoooooo

I missed you :’) working with you is like being kids again, dicking around in school and making teachers hate us

Yeah lol I guess I’m pretty happy to be working with my friends up here. I worked my off, though, so don’t say it was just because Mr. Hwang decided to spend the remainder of his life in Florida with his wife :P

Everybody’s attractive here except for you, oppa. Also, does President Kim always smile like that? I felt like he was about to murder me and wear my skin…

PS: tmi, luhan oppa, tmi

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Re: yoooooo

You’re significantly more attractive than Mr. Hwang. Jongdae was telling me how much better it is looking at your ugly mug all day compared to Hwang’s uglier mug. Also, he didn’t actually call you ugly, so don’t get too depressed. You should date him, he’s a lonely miserable nerd.

President Kim? Lol nobody actually calls joonie-woonie that anymore after we’ve all learned that he’s the biggest doormat in the universe. He lets sehun come in 3 hours late every day. Man, imagine if zitao came in 3 hours late. Yifan would have his . Anyway, he doesn’t smile like that for anybody else in this office. I’m jealous.

PS: only for my favorite dongsaeng <3

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Re: Re: yoooooo

Jongdae with cute curly lips thinks I’m pretty? He’s really cute and all but he’s not really my type.

You know who my type is, . If you’re going to try to hook me up, hook me up w/ someone I have the hots for.

President Kim isn’t a doormat, he’s just really nice.

PS: now that your best friend is working here, I can tell the whole office that you cried while watching high school musical.

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: yoooooo

Your type? Your last boyfriend was that weird Lee Jinki kid from college. Are you telling me that you like sweet mama’s boys who wear sweaters and have huge ? Bc ur precious “President Kim” has all those traits except for the huge …

Hmm…..HMMMMMM…..

PS: you wouldn’t

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: yoooooo

Joonmyun smiled so hard at me yesterday that his jaw made a popping noise when he talked. I don’t know what to feel about the fact that you’re shipping me with him…

PS: oh yes I ing would :)

_____

Baekhyun: You know what would be a good idea to welcome our new teammate?

Baekhyun: it’s gonna be so good

Chanyeol: What is it? Omg!!

Jongdae: dude, I’m expecting to hear something brilliant out of this

Chanyeol: tellmetellmetellmetellmetellme!!!

Zitao: pls don’t text me anymore

Baekhyun: ok so get this

Baekhyun: we put a post it…under her mouse…so it doesn’t work!

Chanyeol: that’s a great idea byun baekhyun I love it you’re so clever omg omg!

Jongdae: ……

Jongdae: That joke’s older and staler than those ty cookies Kyungsoo keeps on his desk

Jongdae: Also shut up chanyeol you look like an idiot

Zitao: ples don’t text me anymore

Baekhyun: u this is comedic gold im doing it

Baekhyun: also, shut up chanyeol you look like an idiot

Chanyeol: :((((

Chanyeol: but baek!!! You’re so cool!!!

Baekhyun: if u think im cool, meet me in the bathroom rn and ill show you just how great I can b

 Zitao: pls don’t text me anymore

_____

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Technical difficulties…

Hi, President Kim,

I might not be able to email that preliminary report to you today by noon…my computer is having some issues right now.

Thanks, and sorry for the inconvenience.

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Technical difficulties…

Oh, that’s completely okay! Take as much time as you to get things figured out! If you need any help, I can head over. After all, my Master’s degree was in computer engineering…

By the way, you can call me Junmyeon.

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Re: Technical difficulties…

That’s alright, President Kim. I already called IT. Also, President Wu walked past my desk and told me to include this message in the email: “don’t be a nerd, you’re showing off”

I’m not sure what that means, but that’s probably between you two.

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Technical difficulties…

It isn’t really that useful anyway. If you really need some help, I’ll go over. Also, thanks for relaying that message from Yifan.

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Technical difficulties…

Thanks for your offer, President Kim, but I’ve already figured out what was wrong with my computer. Baekhyun apparently put a post-it under the mouse. Zitao told me while he was on his way to get coffee for President Wu. I’ve attached the report.

|1 attachment (736 KB)

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Technical difficulties…

Ah. Should I punish Baekhyun?

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Technical difficulties

It’s alright. I’ve got this.

_____

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: [subject blank]

Really funny, …

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: [subject blank]

I’m just trying to get you laid

_____

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: computer????

WhySPACEisSPACEmySPACEspaceSPACEbarSPACEnotSPACEworkingSPACE?SPACEISPACEliterallySPACEhaveSPACEnoSPACEideaSPACEwhat’sSPACEhappeningSPACErightSPACEnowSPACE

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Fwd: Computer????

Begin forwarded message:

From: Byun Baekhyun

Date: January 9, 2014, 08:17:04 AM

To: Park Chanyeol

WhySPACEisSPACEmySPACEspaceSPACEbarSPACEnotSPACEworkingSPACE?SPACEISPACEliterallySPACEhaveSPACEnoSPACEideaSPACEwhat’sSPACEhappeningSPACErightSPACEnowSPACE

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Fwd: Fwd: Computer????

How’d you do this

Begin forwarded message:

                From: Park Chanyeol

                Date: January 9, 2014, 8:19:27 AM

                To: Kim Jongdae

Begin forwarded message:

From: Byun Baekhyun

Date: January 9, 2014, 08:17:04 AM

To: Park Chanyeol

WhySPACEisSPACEmySPACEspaceSPACEbarSPACEnotSPACEworkingSPACE?SPACEISPACEliterallySPACEhaveSPACEnoSPACEideaSPACEwhat’sSPACEhappeningSPACErightSPACEnowSPACE

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Computer????

Make a new AutoHotKey script and drop this:

                #NoTrayIcon

                *Space::Send,SPACE

You’ll probably want to right click the script and compile it to an executable before putting it on someone’s computer. You could have also walked 2 feet around our divider and just asked me.

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Computer????

Thanks. Yo, if you ever need petty revenge on anybody, hit me up.

_____

Joonmyun: yifan help I have a problem

Joonmyun: my computer swears at me every time I press the space button

Joonmyun: I need to send out an important email to shinee corp

Yifan: I saw jongdae walking out of your office earlier

Joonmyun: Find him and bring him to me

_____

Yifan: Joonmyun wants to see you in his office

Jongdae: lol

_____

You: does he usually do this?

Luhan: no. on Fridays he usually wastes our time w/ “family meetings”

Luhan: he’s like a summer camp counselor except he wears a suit and pays us

Luhan: tbh I have no idea why he’s making us all go out to eat

You: I guess it’s an opportunity to get to know the rest of the office better

You: so are you going to drive me later?

Luhan: yeah, I’ll do that

Luhan: it’s probably bc he wants to hit on you

You: will he pay for my dinner

Luhan: yes. He’s loaded

You: :))))

_____

Jongin: Check out the boss flirting with the new girl

Sehun: it’s kind of sad

Sehun: hyung is a loser

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Comments

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woodwinked
#1
Chapter 4: gosh, this is amazing!
wanweird
#2
Chapter 3: OMG this is litterally the best thing I have ever read in my entire life more more more more !!!!
junmenpapi #3
Chapter 4: I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND HUG YOU AUTHORNIM REALLY
Serene #4
Chapter 3: I would totally want to work in this office just to be part of the group chats lol
LolliLovee
#5
this is the most hilarious exo fanfiction i've read in a long while. omg. thank you for writing this because this is actually extremely, fantastically amazing. swear on my life. omg.
OneStarLight
#6
OMG! I couldn't stop laughing!xD