“Geez, Su Jin!” Luhan grabbed the nearest towel and started wiping milk from his face and shirt. He glanced at me, not hiding his irritation, and I leaned against the counter with the big coffee machine on it, sending him a sheepish smile. I could feel the thin streams of milk on my face and clothes as well.

“Sorry Luhan.” I turned off the steam wand. Somehow I wasn’t sorry at al,l but I wasn’t stupid enough to say that out loud, especially after all the trouble I’d caused today. I also decided to pass over in silence the fact that this time, I’d done it on purpose.

He threw the wet towel on the chair near him and took a deep breath, massaging his forehead with his thumb and index finger. He did it all the time when he was trying to come up with some good plan, despite being frustrated and annoyed. “Are you sure you don’t want to take another day off?”

“I’m okay,” I cut him off quickly, although I’d love to spend another day at home. Damn, I wouldn’t even complain if he were to send me on a month-long holiday, but the fact that he wouldn’t even look at me while talking to me irritated me to the point where I’d say no just to have things my way.

He heaved a sigh. “But I’m not sure if I’m okay with another milky shower.”

“Too bad then,” I muttered under my breath, turning my back on him.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing,” I said quickly, focusing on drying glasses for lattes. I didn’t want to be one of those grumpy, mean ex-girlfriends, but Luhan - along with his attempts to hold decent conversations with me - wasn’t making it any easier. Because of his friendly attitude, I felt even more frustrated. Besides, I was having one of those days when the best thing to do is to stay home. Or to not leave my bed at all, because in the span of two hours I had managed to break three glasses and splash milk on Luhan and myself twice. Surprisingly, I hadn’t hurt any of our customers during my shift, but there were still 6 hours left - so who knew what could happen next? I was tired, troubled, and unable to focus on one simple thing, so even brewing coffee was a big challenge for me.

Too bad he couldn’t understand that and leave me alone. What’s worse, I was starting to feel guilty because he was actually trying to keep things normal between us while I acted like a y teenage girl.

“Okay, I’m sorry Luhan.” Watching him writing something angrily on a paper, I forced myself to speak and diffuse the already-uncomfortable situation. “I just...don’t get much sleep these days.”

It was my daily excuse I kept feeding everyone. And of course they knew I didn’t sleep at all - those big bags under my eyes were enough for them to figure that out by themselves. But the pitiful glances and comforting pats on the back I’d been receiving after telling everyone about my sleeping problems were a sign that everyone imagined me crying in my bed because of Luhan. I wasn't. Although he was my main problem now, since we had broken up I had been having nightmares which woke me up in the middle of the night, and these was the cause of my sudden insomnia. Most of them were about me sitting alone in a completely dark room without any door or window – though thankfully, the monster I had once dreamed about hadn’t appeared again – but the fear I felt during them was enough to raise the hair on the back of my neck.

Luhan tore himself away from his work to look at me. “I can see that.”

“Oh really?” I snapped back sarcastically again, even though I'd planned to avoid any conflict with him. But seeing how he slowly put the pencil on the counter and took a deep, calming breath, I wasn’t really sticking to that plan.

Luhan turned to me and sent me a tired look before saying, “Hey, I know how hard it is for you and—“

“I’m fine, Luhan,” I interjected, feeling slightly irritated now because the last thing I needed was a friendly chit-chat with him about my broken heart. He knew how I felt? He didn’t know a about how miserable I was because of him and I barely held myself back from screaming those words out loud. I stopped arranging glasses on top of the coffee machine and looked at him, forcing a faint smile which probably looked like a painful grimace. “You don’t need to worry about me. As I said, I’m perfectly fine.”

But once again, it didn’t convince him. He took the cup I was holding in my hands and pointed at the empty chair behind me, speaking with a firm tone and making it obvious that any sign of disagreement from my side would be ignored. “Sit down and rest.”

“But Luhan, we have custom—“

“It’s morning, Su Jin,” he cut me off. “And you know we don’t have many clients in the morning. I can handle them by myself.”

“But still...” I looked at him with guilt and confusion. Luhan sighed heavily and gently pushed me down, causing me to sit in the chair against my will. Unconsciously, I glanced at his hands on my shoulders and then straight into his eyes, angry at his sudden attempt to touch me. He quickly noticed my furrowed brows.

“Or Sehun can help me,” he said calmly, removing his hands as the realization of what he had just done hit him. He grabbed a package of coffee next to him and awkwardly cleared his throat while emptying it. “Just rest. I don’t want you to break more things and hurt yourself again.”

God, I couldn’t take it anymore.

I bit my bottom lip, stopping myself from scoffing. The whole situation was just ridiculous and too painful to simply ignore and pretend everything was okay when it obviously wasn’t. I couldn’t drag it on any longer, and I was sure Luhan was on the verge of losing his composure as well. The whole ‘being friends after breakup’ thing was just some bull and I didn’t want to be a part of it. I wanted to be far away from this sham, these awkward conversations and fake smiles. I wanted to be away from Luhan.

Seeing in the corner of his eye how I suddenly stood up from my chair, trying to quickly untie my apron, Luhan turned his whole body towards me. His eyebrows disappeared in the mess of hair covering his forehead as he looked at me quizzically. “What are you doing?”

I threw the apron on the counter after sending him a short glance, trying to look as nonchalant as was possible. At this point, I didn’t care if he was actually going to fire me. I just wanted to go back home, lock myself in the kitchen, and eat tons of ice cream - but I knew I couldn't.

“I’m going to rest in the garden.”

* * * * *

“Wait a minute.” Sehun leaned out of the kitchen window, smiling down at me and wiping his wet hands on the elegant white shirt he was wearing – a part of the formal outfit we were forced to wear at work. He winked at me, grinning now like a small, cute boy, making me wonder how he – a guy who never wasted any occasion to throw some painfully honest or caustic remarks at people – could look so misleading. “I’m almost done.”

I waved my hand lazily in the air, smiling back and signaling for him to just go and take as much time as he needed. I had plenty of time to waste today, since working with Luhan by my side was simply impossible, and the weather was bearable enough for me to wait outside for him. So as he disappeared into our café’s kitchen, I sprawled myself on the hammock we hung in the garden for clients, pulling my sunglasses back over my eyes. The thing was rarely used in the morning, and since it was only 10 o’clock, I had it all to myself.

Placing my legs on the nearest tree, I pushed myself off to make the hammock swing lightly. It had been almos