I loved him a lot. I had met him in my junior year of college and he was the sweetest guy I had ever met even though he was younger. He was kind, caring, gentle. He had an odd sense of humor but he never failed to make me laugh and smile. To be honest, I knew that I was going into dangerous waters because VIXX was an idol group. Dating an idol was never easy but I believed we cared so much for each other that we could give it a try. It was hard sometimes because I couldn't always see him but he would make time to see me, and I would work extra hard to finish all my school work so I could see him.

 

And then they announced they were going on tour. I was honestly happy for him. That was a big achievement for a kpop group and I told him that without a doubt I would wait for him. I went to his concert in Seoul and we spent the night together afterwards but obviously because of school and work, I couldn't follow him to all his tour spots. I cried a little sending him off at the airport but he kissed my tears away and told me he loved me and he would leave his heart to be safe kept by me and for me to wait for him.

 

I sometimes followed the news. Their concerts were selling out all over and I was so proud. But one day I opened up my newsfeed to see an article about a member from VIXX beind seen with a girl at a club.

 

I almost dismissed it because scandals broke out but it didn't mean they were real. But I saw another article and I recognize Hyuk's hair color. He had went blonde for the beginning of the tour. And his arm was around another girl's waist in the picture.  And though the rational part of me wanted to listen to an explanation, at the same time I didn't. I ignored his calls for a week. And finally I answered and told him, that I found another guy and that we were breaking up. He tried to explain the picture to me but my brain wouldn't accept anything except the fact that he actually put his hands around another girl when he said he loved me.

 

"You're too childish. I'm sick of waiting." I told him coldly and then he got angry and said that I was not cute enough, and always busy when he made time for me. So we both yelled at each other over the phone until we both said it was over and hung up on each other. We haven't actually had direct contact in any way since then. And that was a year ago.

 

I got to the restaurant and parked. I steadied myself. This was just a job. I wouldn't get personal emotions all mixed up in this. Saying that to myself like a mantra, I grabbed my purse and got out of the car. I was shown to the VIP room and sat down. I was early so I looked over my notes on my phone. When I heard the door, I looked up to see Hakyeon come in and he smiled at me. Followed by Leo, Ken, Ravi, Hongbin and finally Hyuk. He must've known I was coming to be their interviewer. His eyes held mine for the longest time until I looked away. We ordered food and I started with my questions while keeping my phone on to record everything.

 

"How is your job?" Ravi asked. "I got promoted to the editor team." I said stirring my spoon inside my stew. "Chukahae" they all clapped and I nodded smiling at them. The guys had barbecue pork and beef but I declined. I did, however, have some soju. The interview was over and I had my answers. I didn't know Chief Park had in mind for tomorrow's interview but I was tired. More tired than I had been in a while.

 

I knocked back another shot. "Maeri, are you okay?" Ken asked. "Ne." I nodded giving him a smile. 

I lost count of how many shots I had taken by the end of the dinner, I definitely had more soju then soup. The guys drank with me. The table was laden with bottles. And amazingly, even though I felt his eyes on me, I managed to avoid any direct eye contact with Hyuk. I didn't even ask him any direct questions during the interview. 

 

I leaned on my hand. I felt better now. About all of this. Now I just want to get out of this room. I didn't want to see him. 

 

"Yah. Hyuk. Help Maeri." Hakyeon said when I tried to get up and I felt a hand grab my arm to steady me. I looked up and I met his eyes. I felt myself grit my teeth and I tried to shake him off. But He must've not have had as much soju as I because his grip was steady and I got tired trying. 

 

"I'll take her home." he said. "No you won't." I answered automatically. 

"Stop being stubborn. You can't drive." he said. "Well I'll get a Taxi." I said slightly slurring. "Aish. Just give me your car keys." he demanded. "You don't have any right to ask for my keys." I said. "Ahh, don't yell guys. My head hurts." Ken said cradling his head.

 

"Maeri, it's really much safer if he takes you home." Hongbin said.

"But he drank too." I said in protest. "He didn't drink as much as you. What's gotten into you?" Leo asked.

I didn't answer and just turned my head away. Hakyeon handed my purse to Hyuk and gave him the dirtiest glare I could manage and he ignored me and ushered us out. "Where's your car." Hyuk asked when we were alone after exiting the restaurant. 

 

"By the left side." I mumbled. He sighed and suddenly I felt his hand wrap around my waist and he pulled me against him as we walked to the car.

 

My brain felt muddled but I was very aware of his touch.

 

He helped me into the passenger seat and got in the driver side. "You still live in the same apartment yes?" he asked starting the car. "Ne." I said coldly. He leaned over and pulled on my seat belt to secure it and I grabbed his arm. "What are you doing?!" I said and he stopped with his face right in front of mine. His dark eyes bored into mine. "Making sure you are safe." he said softly and his eyes fell to my lips and I let go of him immediately and pushed him away. 

 

"I got it." I said and clicked in my seatbelt. I felt my cheeks heat up. He cleared his throat and started driving.

We stayed quiet and he clicked on my CD player. And VIXX's Only You started playing. I immediately looked up and I saw a twitch in the corner of his mouth. Dammit, I knew I should have threw that CD out. 

 

We got to my officetel and he helped me inside. "You can stop touching me now." I said shaking him off when I unlocked the door with my passcode.

 

"Yeah, you sure you aren't going to bump into a table or chair? Because you aren't even walking straight." he said.

"What I do is none of your business." I said feeling defensive.

"Well I would help any girl as drunk as you." and that hurt me. It hurt me more than it should have. I pointed my finger to his chest. "Then go find another girl to help. I don't need it." I said angrily. He grabbed my wrist and that surprised me. "Do you have alcohol?" he asked. "Yes, but." and he let go and he was searching in my fridge and pulled out two bottles of soju. He popped off the cap and he knocked back the first bottle. "What..What are you doing?" I asked softly. He didn't answer and knocked back the second bottle. "You need to leave." I said. "No." he said and I looked up in shock. He pulled out another bottle and finished it. "That was mine!" I said. 

 

"And you are still mine." he suddenly said and I felt his hand come up to tangle in my hair and pulled me into a rough kiss.

I pushed against his chest immediately. The feeling of his lips on mine sent shivers through my spine and it was an oh so familiar and heavenly feeling but I feeling I didn't want. 

 

He tasted like soju for the first ten seconds but his tongue started mine and I made a sound of protest and hit my fist against his chest but he used his free hand to grab my wrist and suddenly my back was against a wall.

 

He was trying to get a response out of me but I didn't want to give him any. But my body burned to be touched my him. He dropped my wrist and his hand made a trail down my side to my waist and then he started my thigh when my dress ended. 

 

I shivered and I felt my arms come up without my permission and wrapped around his neck and I started to kiss him back.

To be honest, I didn't have any boyfriends after I broke up with Hyuk a year ago. Date alway went array because I was looking for a feeling. But I realized it was only a feeling he could give me.

 

His hands slid underneath my and he hoisted me up. I immediately wrapped my legs around his waist and without breaking the kiss he walked us to my room. He set me down on the bed and he took off his blazer and ed his button down shirt before ping my dress.

 

I got impatient so I cupped his face and brought it down to mine before everything else just turned to burning passion and pleasure.

--------------------------------------------------

My eyes fluttered open because of the sunlight, and I cradled my head. What the did I do last night? And I heard a shift in the sheets and looked over to see Hyuk awake too. Our eyes met and I felt my pride burn.

 

I cradled the sheets to my body. "Get out." I said and he got up and started to get dress. Our eyes stayed on each other as he put on his pants, his shirt and finally his blazer.

"It didn't happen." we both said at the same time after a moment of silence.

"Right you are." I said. I ran a hand through my messy hair to push it out of my face and I found him watching me. "You aren't staying here while I get out of bed. So you better call a member to pick you up." I said and he sighed and reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone and left the room. The second he did, I grabbed my head. ". . ." I said.

 

What the did I say last night?! I couldn't even remember.

 

I got out of bed and dressed and tied my hair into a tight bun. I still had work today and I had no time to shower, after a quick look at the clock. I wanted to shower…very, very badly.

 

When I went outside to my living room, he was already gone. I sighed. I grabbed a granola bar and my work bag and went to work.

 

The day went by fast. I immersed myself in work and I didn't even take a lunch break. I just kept working. Eunji came in a few times to bring me coffee and try to coax me to eat something but I refused and ignored her after a few times.

 

I left work at 5:30 again to get ready. I put on a business suit this time and went to meet VIXX.

But when I got there, Hyuk wasn't present. This was a relief to me, but it was odd for a member not to be present."Where is SanHyuk-sshi?" I asked. Hakyeon looked at the other members and they kind of scratched the back of their heads and averted their eyes."Maeri." Leo said and I looked up from my food. "That time in LA, where that article came out of Hyuk and that girl…it wasn't what they reported."

 

"Huh?"

"Hyuk saw a guy slip something into the girl's drink, so he saved her before anything happened."

"Mwoh. What are you saying?" I asked blinking. "He didn't cheat on you." Ravi said.

"Where is he now?" I asked. "After he got back from your place." Hongbin coughed. "He said we was going out for a walk but he went to drink by himself…and when he was crossing the street…" he trailed off.

 

"Where's Hyuk?" I asked, feeling a sickening feeling rise from the pit of my stomach.

"At the hospital. Seoul General"

and I stood up. "I have to go." and I gave them all a quick goodbye and ran to my car. I threw my bag in the passenger seat and drove straight to the hospital. I parked and ran inside to the nurses desk. 

 

"Where is Han SanHyuk staying?" I asked and the nurse looked at me up and down before going to her computer. "Room 125, down the hall and to the left. If you aren't his family member, you need to leave in half an hour. Visiting hours are over." she said but I didn't respond and ran down the hall.

 

There were three beds, one occupied and the other one looked completely untouched and another that had a stain of blood on the pillow. "Wait. Where's the guy in one of these beds?" I asked the elderly man.

 

"Oh he started coughing up blood…they were trying to restart his heart, and he got wheeled out to surgery." he said.

 

"What?!" I felt tears sting my eyes.

I ran out towards the surgery ward. I saw the light on for surgery in progress so I sat down and clasped my hands together.

"Please be okay Hyuk. I'm sorry for everything…I don't want to pretend nothing happened. I want us to go back to how we were. I just want to say I'm sorry." I felt tears blur my vision. "I love you Hyuk."

 

"Because I'm the irresistible maknae?" a familiar male voice said and my head jerked up. Hyuk was grinning at me. "I love you too Maeri." he held out a hand. But I didn't take it. "Yo-You were in surgery…." I said softly my tears falling down my face.

 

"I got the nurse to change my sheets because I spilled soda on them. I just sprained by ankle, avoiding a delivery guy on a bike." he said raising an eyebrow and pointing to his bandaged ankle. "Oh my freaking god, I hate you so much." but I got up and I slammed against him and his arms automatically wrapped around me. "I love you. I missed you so much." he cooed in my ear. "I hate your guts." I laughed through my tears. "I love yours." he chuckled and he cupped my face. "Let's make up for lost time, ne?"

 

"Ne." and he smirked mischievously before kissing me. I pulled away to catch my breath. "Wah. Hongbin is a good actor." I shook my head in disbelief.

"Hyung knows how much I wanted to make up with you." Hyuk chuckled and pulled me close.