“Did they send you to look for Kim Heechul?”

The silence tells him everything he needs to know. He smiles, his hands caressing my hair gently. I can’t do anything, too afraid a wrong move, a wrong word, could harm Heechul.

“He is safe, of course. A little mangled, but not much. Not anymore.”

Not anymore?

He frowns. “Yes, I feel the same. Those bastards had no reason to hurt him, not Heechul. But they were worse than he was when I found him, so don’t worry too much.”

They? He keeps talking on riddles.

“They?”

“A lowly clan, I assure you. More like a street gang. Whatever was left of them will be decimated once your Don finds out what they did.”

He smiles. “Would you like to see him?”

Stronger  

One second Siwon is looking out the window of his office, and then the next he is attacked by a mass of dark curls.

“Ariel!” he exclaims, surprised. His hands find the way to her waist and he smiles, taking in her giggles and her smile.

“Did you miss me?” she asks in Chinese, burying her nose on his neck.

Siwon rests his jaw on her head and takes a deep breath. He holds her tighter against him for a few seconds, then his hands move to cup her hips. “Of course I did, Ari.”

She tilts her head to look up at him. “I’m sorry about Suho.” She whispers.

Siwon gives her a sad smile. “Not your fault, love.”

“Not yours either, okay?”

And Siwon snorts because that’s not what Kyuhyun told him. In fact, Kyuhyun blames him just as much as he blames himself. “I’ll try to convince myself of that.” He promises, even though he knows it won’t matter. Not until he finds his son.

Ariel nods. “Good. Now that I’m here I’ll remind you that you are amazing. I have to help somehow. So, Choi Siwon, the love of my life,”

And she looks so cute with that glint of determination on her eyes that he can’t help but play along. “Yes, Ariel Lin, my other half?”

“You. Are. Amazing. Okay?” she says, hitting his chest with her index finger as she enunciates every word.

“Okay.” He agrees.

Ariel smiles and his world recovers some of its color.    

~.O.~.O.~

Kyuhyun is not jealous. Of course he isn’t.

The only reason why he is seething as he looks out the window is because while he hasn’t slept in days worrying over his son, Siwon is holding hands with his fiancée and looking not a bit worried.

Kyuhyun doesn’t know who he hates more –Siwon, the girl, or himself.

Probably himself, for caring so much.

He leaves his room to find his father.

~.O.~.O.~

“So you are Ariel Lin.”

Ariel turns at the sound of the voice, her hands still gripping the towel she was using to dry her hair.

Heechul has to admit that she’s beautiful, with big wide eyes and full lips. When she smiles, Heechul decides that she looks even better and that Kyuhyun has to up his game or else he’s gonna lose to this girl.

“That’s me.” She says, bowing. “And you are Kim Heechul. Siwon-ah talked about you a lot.”

He narrows his eyes briefly. “Did he now.”

She nods, then goes back to her hair. “Said that you are possibly the craziest person he has met. But also the most loyal.”

And his heart warms for just a second because he and Siwon had always been so close, so very close. Other than a few casual s before he met Hangeng, their relationship had always fallen in the category of best friends and Heechul had been okay with that. Nothing could get in between them, not even the feud between the five families. Then Kyuhyun left Siwon and everything just…crumbled. Not instantly, not really.  

But slowly and surely, so agonizingly obvious.

He can’t remember the last time he talked to Siwon. Can’t remember the last time he shared a secret with Kyuhyun. Leaving to China with Hangeng was something he wanted to do, yes. But I was also an escape. So he wouldn’t have to deal with the broken hearts and the fresh wounds.

He comes back to the present when Ariel smiles at him. “And he said that you are the most beautiful man he has ever met, too.”

He smirks. “Not Kyuhyun?”

She scoffs, a light sound that sounds more pleasant than it has any reason to be. “Kyuhyun is the one true love of his life, that will always be true. But even I know you will hunt him down if he doesn’t declare you the prettiest.” She looks up at him, earnest eyes wide open.

“You two should talk more. Then you will understand.”

~.O.~.O.~

The silence is deafening.

Leeteuk ignores it, eyes set on the book on his hands. Kangin lies on his side, his back to him.

“Do you regret marrying me?” he asks, never turning to face him.

Leeteuk’s reaction to the voice is a sad smile. “Marrying you, Kim Youngwoon? Never.”

His husband understands immediately. “What about me, Kangin?”

Leeteuk puts the book on the night table, then he turns around to face him. “That’s a whole different story, but regret is not the word I would use.”

“You knew. And you accepted.”

“Of course I knew, love. I always knew I would be married off for convenience and treaties and territories. It was a struck of luck that made my parents choose you, who I had loved for a long time. And you don’t know how thankful I am for that.”

Kangin sits up, but his face remains fixed somewhere in front of him. “So why do you regret it?”

“I said the word was not regret, Youngwoon.” He reminds him gently.

“Then what is it?” Kangin insists.

“It’s more like “what-if?” I always dreamed of a normal life, you know.”

“I knew.” And at some point, he had forgotten.

“And you tried to make it easy, I admire that. I acknowledge it. But it was not enough.”

Kangin tenses. “I gave you everything in my power –”

“I don’t doubt it. But at some point, it was not enough for me. Because I wanted a life where glocks and grenade launchers were not a normal topic at dinner. I wanted kids who would grow up and get the childhood we never got. A childhood with no gang wars and no fear of whether their car would blow up on their way to school. I wanted a normal life where I was not the son of a person wanted dead by everyone including his family.”

“My family doesn’t…”

Leeteuk can’t keep help but raise his voice. “Not right now. Perhaps not you. But have you thought about your heirs? What about Heechul? When he inherits the clan, will everyone still be okay with him marrying a foreigner? You can barely see him on person.”

He kicks the covers away, stands up to face Kangin. His husband continues to stare ahead of him, eyes never meeting Leeteuk’s.

“He will manage.”

“Just like Kyuhyun managed?”

There is silence.

“Look at me and tell me you haven’t figure out the reason why Kyuhyun left Siwon. Tell me you didn’t realize that Kyuhyun was afraid of raising Suho with a target on his back for just being the son of a Don. Please lie to me and tell me that it never occurred to you that Kyuhyun did what I was never strong enough to do.”

This time Kangin looks at him. There is defeat on Leeteuk’s eyes, on the way his shoulders seem to be holding the weight of the world.

He hadn’t noticed the gray hairs mixing with the light browns. When was the last time he had dyed his hair? Kangin couldn’t remember. And those signs of age around his eyes, near his mouth.

Was he getting older too? Had he really ruined his most precious ones?

“Youngwoon.” Leeteuk begs. Because it was always him, begging and giving in and always saying yes to him. Giving everything he was.

He says nothing.

Leeteuk waits. A minute. Two.

He doesn’t cry as he walks away from the bed, towards the closet. He doesn’t cry as he dresses himself and stuffs clothes in a duffel bag. He doesn’t cry when he comes back to the room and see Kangin staring at nothing, fists closed around their blanket.

He doesn’t cry when he leaves and his husband does nothing to stop him.

It’s only when he closes the door that he allows the tears to fall, but not a sound escapes.

He walks away.

The way he was supposed to walk away so many years ago.

The same way his son had the courage to walk away three years ago.

Ok, I must confess. This got a little...intense. I never intended for this to happened and yet...it did. Writing. Never what you expect.