Here's the last chapter! Thanks so so much to all my readers/subscribers/commentators for sticking with this story! I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it (and trust me, I absolutely freaking loved writing this story...)

Enjoy this last bit!

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The familiar buzz echoed through the empty room and N stepped through the gate, which had just unlocked to admit him. While the sound was not entirely unpleasant, it didn’t serve as the most enjoyable reminder of where he was.

“Welcome back, Hakyeon-ssi. It’s been a while, almost three months.” The man on the other side of the gate greeted him as he stepped out from behind his desk.

“Hello Ilhoon-ssi.” Hakyeon said warmly. “I know, I’ve been pretty busy. Seven kids were referred to me recently, but I’m not complaining. How have you been? Everything going all right?” He took his phone, wallet, and keys out of his pocket and placed them in the plastic bin Ilhoon offered him.

“Can’t complain. Got a few newbies yesterday, almost got put into solitary on arrival.”

N asked why as he held out his arms for the usual pat-down as Ilhoon continued to fill him in. “Take a guess.”

N laughed humorlessly. “You should seriously consider putting that in your orientation video: don’t mess with him.”

Ilhoon matched his joking tone, but the humor didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah. Orientation video.” He patted N on the back and the younger man put his arms down. “You’re fine. Go on back.”

N bowed and smiled. “Nice to see you again, Ilhoon-ssi.”

The guard gave him a two- salute before unlocking the next gate for N to pass through. He walked through the hall and entered the large room filled only with steel tables bolted to the floor. His footsteps echoed through the room, which was, at the moment, filled with people in blue uniforms, as most of the visitors hadn’t yet arrived. N preferred to be early.

He was waiting for him at their usual table in the back corner of the room. N grinned and threw him a wave, which was not returned. Leo kept a stony expression on his face, slouched in his chair—identically bolted to the floor—and his arms folded across his chest.

“Oh come on, don’t pretend you’re not happy to see me.” N chided him, holding his arms out. After a brief hesitation, Leo stood and accepted the allowed five-second hug before sitting down just as abruptly. N sat opposite him and they stared at each other for a moment or two.

“Have you been well?” N finally broke the silence. “Eating right?”

Leo’s expression didn’t change but he gave the barest nod of his head. N smiled and leaned back in his chair, inviting Leo to do the same. He began his usual one-sided conversation, as if the three months between them had never happened.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been to visit, Leo-ah. Really. I’ve gotten so many kids referred to me recently I have no time to breathe. I think I’m really making progress with them, after all, I do know how to relate to them.”

N had finally found his calling after graduating. He now worked with troubled kids in a psychology clinic in Seoul.

“But enough about me. I have some exciting news about Ravi, actually.” Leo blinked at N, who took that as a sign that he was interested. “He passed the exam and he’s officially part of the detective force! Isn’t that great?” He could only imagine what Leo would say, but it was something along the lines of “yeah, great.”

Ravi had entered the police academy right out of high school and had been working on becoming a detective for the last two years. N had been updating Leo on his progress whether he wanted to hear it or not, though it was probably the latter, as Ravi’s mentor and closest advisor happened to be Detective Choi Ilsung. Not one of Leo’s favorite people.

“He wanted to come here with me,” N knew that Leo knew he was lying, but it made both of them feel better. “But he was put on a homicide case almost right away, so he’s working the field now.” N flashed Leo a thousand watt beam, but didn’t honestly expect Leo to react. Leo’s shoulders twitched into what might be called a shrug, but N had years of interpreting his friend’s silences to know that Leo might not love the police force, but he was at least a little bit glad that Ravi had gotten what he always wanted—a way out.

There was another long silence before N started talking again. He looked almost guilty when he looked into Leo’s eyes. “I went to see Hongbin and Hyuk this morning.” His voice was almost a whisper, like he didn’t really want to be admitting this. Across the table, Leo stiffened, but didn’t show any other reaction. N felt the need to explain. “It’s been a while since I went, almost as long as it’s been since the last time I visited you. I needed to see them.” Leo narrowed his eyes, but N could see they were getting wet.

“I told them I was seeing you today.” N’s eyes slid from Leo’s onto the table and began addressing it instead. “I told them about Ravi, and I know they’d have been happy for him, don’t you think?”

He often got the impression that talking to Hongbin and Hyuk at the cemetery was a lot like talking to Leo.

The day he had told Leo about Hongbin hadn’t been a pleasant one. He’d found out himself only a few days before, when the police had called. Leo hadn’t believed him at first and just stared at him, his shackled hands dangling limply in his lap, for he’d still been restrained during visiting hours at the time. Before N could say anything, Leo had slammed his bound hands on the table, startling everyone else in the room, and stood up, very clearly trying to keep himself under control. A guard had had to come and make sure everything was all right. Leo had shaken his head and the guard led him away back to his cell. N had been left standing there helplessly, tears sliding down his cheeks. This was hard enough and Leo had just made it harder. N needed someone to understand, but Leo didn’t want to help him out.

Other visitors were starting to trickle into the room and N glanced at the hallway he had come from to look at the wide variety of people sitting themselves at the other tables. Leo looked with him.

A woman and a little girl sat at the next table where an older man was waiting. The man smiled at them and leaned forward as if he wanted to drink in every word they were saying and not miss a single thing.

“Grandpa, look! I got an autograph yesterday!” The little girl was saying as she pulled a picture out of her pocket. She was wriggling with excitement as her grandfather took the signed picture and made the necessary exclamations over it. “Umma took me to the Strong Heart show and I got to meet Ken-oppa!”

Both Leo and N started at the name and listened in more carefully. The girl’s mother smiled indulgently at her daughter and spoke to the man. “It was quite the recording actually, Appa. A few of the idols talked about difficult childhoods...” She seemed to falter when the man looked at her with soft eyes. The woman wiped a tear and continued. Leo and N weren’t even pretending not to listen anymore. They were both half-turned toward the table, listening as hard as they could over the increasing chatter in the room.

“So what were they talking about?” The inmate asked his daughter quietly. The little girl had lost interest and was admiring the picture Ken had signed for her, lost in her own little world.

“Well, Ken’s was probably the most intriguing. He didn’t say much about his childhood, but then, he’s known for that mysterious past thing. He said he’d never talked about this before on a broadcast, but apparently he’s an orphan. Here, I recorded it; I thought you’d find it interesting. The guard let me bring it in.”

She pulled out an iPhone and set it on the table, pressing something on the screen a moment later. Ken’s familiar voice swam through the sea of voices to N and Leo, who sat frozen at the next table. N tried not to miss any of Ken’s broadcasts ever since his latest single had exploded all over the country and overseas, effectively making him one of the most popular soloists in Korea, but he’d been so busy lately, this one had completely slipped his mind. He risked a glance at Leo, whose hands were clenched in his lap, his carefully constructed blank face starting to slip. N wondered what he was thinking.

“I never knew my parents, actually.” Ken’s recorded voice informed them. “When I hear people talking about a strained relationship with their father or mother, I wish I could have the same sort of thing to say, because it always ends up with them respecting each other. I didn’t have a set of parents to respect. However, that doesn’t mean I didn’t have my own family. I won’t say I grew up in the best of circumstances, but I did have the best people to experience it with. My family was the five other boys who lived with me in the home I grew up in.”

Kang Ho Dong interrupted him. “You say they’re your family, what makes you say that?”

They couldn’t see Ken’s face, but they knew what it would look like. He’d be looking down sheepishly and running a hand through his hair semi-awkwardly. “We went through everything together, no matter what. We were all different ages and had different problems throughout our adolescence, but we all went through them together. We had nicknames for each other, we fought with each other, we did homework together, we cried together during hard times...” His voice started to crack and the audience started ‘ooohing’ like they always did. “We loved each other. No matter what happened. We were all each other had.”

Another guest asked him if there was any memorable incident that happened with the six of them. Ken chuckled, sounding weary, and obliged. “Well, there was something. The two youngest in our group decided to be MCs for a day,” the crowd laughed and Ho Dong immediately latched onto this.

“I bet they wanted to be like us.” He joked.

Ken laughed and continued. “They went around with two spoons for microphones all day and got ‘exclusive interviews’ with the rest of us. One of the things they asked was what we wanted to be when we grew up, and actually...I think I may have said I wanted to be famous one day...”

Lee Seunggi sounded moved when he asked Ken to make a video message for his family. N closed his eyes and pictured Ken’s face looking directly at the camera and listened to his message.

Ken had to take a moment before he could say anything. “N-hyung, Leo-hyung, Ravi-ah, Hongbin-ah, Hyuk-ah...” They heard him swallow and the studio was dead silent, everyone waiting for him to speak. “I know we fought when we were younger, but you guys meant the world to me, and still do. I wouldn’t be where I am now without you stumbling through life with me. Two of you are no longer with us, but I think of you every single day.” His voice broke again. “Leo-hyung, I’m planning on seeing you soon, okay? I...I love all of you, no matter what happened in the past.” His voice dwindled toward the end and all the guests, hosts, and audience ‘ooohed.’

“Ooooh, that was so sentimental.” Ho Dong said, his voice ten times quieter than normal. “You must really love them a lot.”

“This is a side we’re not used to seeing from you, Ken-ssi.” Seunggi joked, obviously deflating the tension they could feel even through the iPhone several feet away. Ken laughed shakily and the video ended.

N and Leo looked at the dirty floor, the dreary walls, the sea of scattered colors in the room, anything but each other.

“I have to remember to see him soon.” N said to himself, but Leo heard it. “We haven’t kept in touch recently.” Leo made no response. N leaned forward and looked right at his friend until Leo had no choice but to meet his eyes.

“What he said is true for all of us, you know that, right?” Leo’s face twitched and almost showed true emotion before slipping back into it’s usual blank expression. N dropped his voice even lower. “None of us blame you for what happened. When you get out of here you’ll have all the help you need from all of us. I hope you understand that.”

Leo’s chin was trembling and he swallowed hard. N could see that Ken’s message had affected him harder than he would ever admit, probably even to himself. N looked at his watch.

“I should probably go, Leo-ah. I’m sorry I can’t stay longer.”

Leo nodded, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. They stood together and this time, Leo initiated the five-second embrace, cheating a little bit and extending it a few more seconds.

“Bye Leo.” N whispered in his ear and went back the way he came.

As he reclaimed his phone, wallet, and keys from the plastic bin at the entrance to the prison, Ilhoon stopped him before he could leave. “Can I ask you a question?” He sounded hesitant.

N stopped and looked at him curiously. “Sure, what is it?”

Ilhoon hesitated for the briefest moment before asking, “why do you bother? You know he’s not going to say anything back to you, you know he won’t respond, or smile, or do anything to justify you spending an hour here every week. Why do you do it?” Ilhoon stopped and looked embarrassed. “I’m sorry, it’s just something I’ve always wondered.”

“Don’t be sorry.” N said quietly. “It’s normal for people to wonder. I come because there are only three of us in the world who actually care about him. I grew up with him, I know him like I would my own brother. He might not talk, or smile, or give me any sort of gratification, but,” here N paused, wondering if he should really be baring his soul here, in the most soulless of places. “Maybe I don’t need that. To know that he loves me just as much as I love him. He’s my best friend and I don’t think I would have it any other way.”

He left Ilhoon standing there with a look of slight awe on his face and went out into the sunshine of the Sunday afternoon.