1. because she's only been looking at her sun for so long

            I stood on the doorstep of our prep room, gripped tightly over my planner and reference books that I hold closed to my chest; to calm myself down, and pushed the glass door opened. I heard the traumatic sounds of giggles and whiny voices as the sight of two loverbirds (more like octopuses with their tentacles all over the place) came before my eyes.

            “Here you are. Say hi now,” straightening his collar, Sungyeol briskly shot up from his seat and gingerly directed his hand toward a girl who’s raking her messed long curls on the end of oak bench. Pretty.  And quite cheap.

            “Hello. You came?”

            “Hi,” I grinned cheerfully but I know even I try my best, the smile graced my lips won’t reach my eyes. I wonder if she realized it, or perhaps she doesn’t want to ponder about it. I’m just a minor character in their story after all. Compared to her, I was anything but a harmful threat. Superior being wouldn’t care much about wretched creature like me since she already had Sungyeol wrapped around her delicate fingers.

            Smiling sweetly, Taeyeon leaned over my shoulder to give a quick hug which I protest so hard inwardly. You just don’t tango by yourself . Her perfume filled my nostrils and I found my lungs constricted sharply; for a moment I forgot how to breathe, or I was actually reluctant to take a breatheful of air that smells like her. It’s mixed with Sungyeol’s cologne and I hated myself for a second, for being able to distinguish his smell on Taeyeon. It’s funny and quite disgusting.

            Despite of familiar scent that lingered, her perfume won over the faint one, it’s the kind of smell that Sungyeol wouldn’t like. I remember during summer when we were shopping in a mall for our new semester. We were stopped by a salesgirl to take a sniff of their new perfumes line which Sungyeol nonchalantly ignored and whisked the girl away, telling that the scent made his head hurt. But true, I don’t know him anymore. The Sungyeol I fell in love with had change. He had abandoned me when his heart decided to make a new trip without me included in the plan.

            People might think this is a one side story of me to rave about how feeble my unrequited love is. It gored me inside out (and still is), a perfect droll of ridiculing myself. I’m scared of losing something that was never mine. Sungyeol was never mine. I should have learned that so with a grimace, I pulled out from her soft touch. The atmosphere turned uncomfortable for me to even swallow my own spit. Maybe, the uncomfortable one only applied on me.

            Taeyeon still wore that angelic smile on her face despite my uncalled behavior, its uncanny how undisturbed she was or maybe she had stab me so many times in her mind. I would never know. She stepped back before locked her arm with Sungyeol’s. Tch, well that’s escalated rather quickly.

            “Can we start doing our assignment?” I joshed. Well not really.

            To be honest, I sort of enjoyed it when they quarreled and spat hurtful words toward each other. The piercing scream from Taeyeon’s mouth and Sungyeol’s accusations towards her, I liked them all. Because after the fight, Sungyeol would find me and I’ll be the one who comfort him. He will vent out his anger, regret and everything about their relationship and I’ll take them. I’m the one who is the ‘closest’ to him after all.