I think I ed up.

"I have to go to Cornell now, I can't stay here," Jongdae pants, pacing in the backroom of XOXO Music. "It's official, I'm a -"

"Jongdae, calm down," Luhan commands. "Tell us what happened."

The younger boy sits heavily on a crate and buries his face in his hands. "I told him, I told Sehun that I loved him. And he just stood there in front of me and he backed away a little and when I looked into his eyes, I- god," Jongdae heaves, "when I looked into his eyes, I saw... everything. And I knew. That's when I left."

"I'm sorry, but- I love you."

Sehun brings a finger up to his lips. This can't be. His childhood friend, his best friend, just kissed him. His best friend-

Jongdae shifts his gaze to Sehun's and he flinches like he's been burned. Fear, astonishment, sorrow... There might even be pity or disgust in his tall friend's eyes.

"Jongdae-"

"Don't," Jongdae says firmly, squeezing his eyes shut, "please don't."

Sehun inches away from him.

"I'm sorry, Jongdae."

"I said don't!" Jongdae screams. Breathing heavily, he shakes his head. "I'm going. Just forget this ever happened, alright?"

Before Sehun can do anything, Jongdae's running.

The staff is silent. What can they say? No words will change what has happened, no loving whisper will ease the pain in Jongdae's heart.

Young love. It's stupid, it's restless, and the feelings are magnified and blown up to large proportions. Jongdae wants nothing to do with it. But he's already trapped.

A sliver of glass brushes against Sehun's palm and he hisses before gingerly picking it up and tossing it in the trash.

That's the last of the plate. He's been kneeling and throwing away shards for a long time but his sore knees are only a distant thought. Right now, he can only think about Jongdae. His hyung. His best friend, his... secret admirer. For four years.

Sehun's never felt so strange before. It's like he's in a dream. He feels detached from his body, from his own life even. He doesn't know what to think, or what to do, or what to say to Jongdae.

Sehun brushes his fingers over his lips again. The warm tingles still haven’t left his mouth yet.

“Why are you on the floor? Is something wrong?”

Mrs Oh kneels down next to her son and shakes his shoulder. “Sehun?”

He rests his head on her shoulder. “Mom, Jongdae just… confessed to me.”

She inhales sharply.

“He told me he loved me. And then he said sorry? But before that he kissed me. And then. He left. And.” Sehun takes a deep breath. “And I don’t know what to do now. Mom, I’m so scared. This changes everything.”

“Sweetie,” Mrs Oh whispers, cupping his face in her warm hands, “change is inevitable. Change is needed. Without change, well. We would be nowhere.”

“But what happens next?” Sehun asks. “What about Jongdae?”

“That’s up to you or him, I think,” his mother replies. “Just remember, Sehun- change isn’t always a bad thing. Be thankful for this experience. And regardless of what kind of relationship you choose to have with Jongdae, be it romantic or platonic, cherish what time you two have left.”

She helps him off of the kitchen floor and rubs his back. “I’m worried about him, Sehun. Jongdae’s an absolute ghost. Just take care of him, okay? Take care of yourself, too.”

A/N: short little update, hence the title intermission. if you don't already know it's kinda obvious that the previous chapter and this one is a turning point in the story so this is the break before all the rest happens lol