Jongdae arrives home and hastily wipes his tears when he sees Mrs Kim coming to reprimand him for slamming the door.

“Where have you been?” she snaps.

Since when do you care? “At graduation,” he replies in a clipped tone.

His mother seems to wilt a little. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Jongdae says flatly. “Do you have anything else to say to me?”

Mrs Kim blinks rapidly. “No.”

Jongdae nods and makes for the staircase but he turns when he remembers, “I’ll have to buy my plane ticket soon. So. I’ll just, uh. Remind you.”

His mother hums, and her hand twitches, as if she was planning to reach out to her son, but she doesn’t and walks briskly back into the kitchen.

Jongdae watches (for what feels like the thousandth time) the sight of his mother leaving him.

“You’re going to John Hopkins?” Baekhyun yelps. “But that’s so. Far away! And!” He gestures wildly with his hands.

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and pushes his boyfriend out of the way. “What Baekhyun’s trying to say, Jongdae,” he says, voice sickly sweet, “is ‘what the ’.”

“Guys, John Hopkins is an amazing school.” Jongdae bites his lip and looks down at his shoes. “Aren’t you happy for me?”

Kyungsoo and Baekhyun exchange glances and Luhan pipes, “Well, yeah, but it feels like you’re trying to run away from everyone.” He steps in front of Jongdae and says, “This isn’t like you, Chen Chen. It’s so sudden, this entire thing, you going to John Hopkins. You never talk about yourself anymore. You’re going to America, Jongdae. Did you even think this through?”

“I have nothing here to make me stay,” Jongdae replies softly. “I want to leave.”

Minseok’s face hardens. “Then what about us?” he demands. Everyone turns to him, shocked. Minseok, as the oldest and least outspoken of their little group, tends to steer clear from these kinds of in depth conversations. “We care about you, Jongdae. We’re your friends. We’ve been here all along and we’ll still be here for you no matter how far you’ve pushed us away.” He takes a step closer to Jongdae and the younger male can see the frustration bubbling beneath Minseok’s skin. “You say you have nothing here to make you stay, when we’re here, when we love you so much. That’s selfish, Jongdae. Selfish, ignorant, thickheaded, and impulsive.”

Minseok looks around at his young friends and breaks his gaze to grab his keys from the counter. “Have fun in America. Lock up the store, you guys. It’s late and I’m going home.”

The door shuts with a whoosh and Jongdae can feel his eyes tear up but he keeps them trained on the ground.

Baekhyun’s bright blue sneakers come into his line of vision and there’s a tentative pat on Jongdae’s back.

“Minseok’s right, you know,” Kyungsoo murmurs softly, and his voice sounds different, smells different, as if he’s about to cry.

Jongdae just doesn’t want to feel anymore.

Sehun is waiting for Jongdae outside of the store.

“Leave,” Jongdae says, brushing past him.

“Hyung-” Sehun grabs the back of Jongdae’s shirt and tugs so that they’re facing. “Hyung, it’s not too late to change your mind, you know.”

“About what?”

“About college,” Sehun says firmly. “Jongdae, you never wanted to be a doctor. Stop trying to fit your parents’ image of you, it’s not going to fit-”

“What do you know?” Jongdae challenges. “We’re strangers now”

“I know you better than your parents do, Jongdae,” Sehun protests, taking a step closer to the shorter boy. “I know you’ve wanted to be a high school music teacher and help kids like us sing. I know you like me-” one more step “-but you’re scared to-” and another “-and I know I like you too.” Sehun pauses in front of Jongdae. “And I’m scared as hell,” he confesses. “I’ve seen what people like Jongin can do, and I saw what I did to you. But I want to try this, hyung. So don’t go,” he says, desperation curling the edges of his voice, “please don’t leave.”

Jongdae is silent and Sehun stretches out a hand to him.

Please hyung, please please please.

Jongdae’s fingers rest on top of Sehun’s and the younger boy can feel him tremble.

“Okay,” Jongdae whispers, intertwining their fingers. “Okay.”

A crescendo swells in Sehun’s ears and everything is a dull roar when he presses his lips to Jongdae’s quivering pair.

Nothing is like Sehun expected it to be. Jongdae is soft and warm, pale pink with splashes of vivid orange, and the kiss is less of a battle and more of a dance. They share breath for what feels like forever, and when they pull apart, Jongdae’s cheeks have a flush in them that Sehun wants to see more of.

“Hyung,” he sighs into Jongdae’s mouth. The one-handed grip Jongdae has on his shirt tightens.

“Hyung,” Sehun says, louder, and he searches the eyes staring into his own. “You’re staying.”

Sehun knows he has his answer when Jongdae tugs him forward in another kiss.

The principal is pretty upset when she learns one of her best students is giving up his scholarship (to an American school!) to stay behind and get a teaching degree. Jongdae doesn’t really care, though. This is his life now.

This is all he’s ever wanted.

Mr and Mrs Kim, of course, say nothing when Jongdae informs them of this change. He can tell that his father’s angry in the sharp set of his shoulders. Mrs Kim just purses her lips and doesn’t touch the rest of her dinner.

But this- this is his life. Jongdae doesn’t want to be a doctor. He doesn’t want to be a lawyer, or a clueless Korean walking busy American streets, and he definitely doesn’t want to leave what he has behind. Everything is finally going right for him, it’s just that Jongdae was too afraid to see it.

“Mom.”

“Yes?”

“Jongdae’s staying.”

“That’s great! But how did you make him change his mind?”

“I told him I liked him back.”

“Sehun, you know I’m happy for you and I’ll support you in anything, but I want to make sure you actually mean what you said.”

“I do, Mom. I like hyung. And I want him to stay.”

Jongdae spends his first day of summer in Sehun’s room, playing video games and tossing grapes in each other’s mouths. When he checks the time on his phone, Jongdae realizes he’s late for his shift, but he’s so comfortable where he is, sprawled over the carpet floor, that he burrows deeper into Sehun’s chest and tries to forget all about XOXO Music.

He still doesn’t know what to say to them, anyway. Jongdae acknowledges the fact that he let them down- disappointed them, even hurt them with his carelessness. He’s never been good with apologies and facing his feelings.

“Hey,” Sehun nudges his shoulder. “Stop thinking.”

Jongdae grins and jabs Sehun in the ribs with an elbow. “Let’s play Super Mario Kart again. I want to see you fall off Rainbow Road.”

Sehun splutters and smacks Jongdae in the chest, pouting when Jongdae’s grin widens.

“You ,” he declares, selecting Princess Peach (big surprise there). “Why am I dating you?”

Jongdae freezes for a second. Sehun’s never referred to their relationship as anything more. They just sank into this grey zone between staying the same and occasionally making out.

“Boyfriends,” Sehun says softly. Jongdae turns to look at him. “That’s okay, right?”

“More than okay,” Jongdae answers, and laughs when Princess Peach drives off Rainbow Road.

A/N: 1) i'm sorry for being gone for so long ofmg

2) sehun would totally play princess peach in mario kart don't even fight me on this

3) the next chapter will be the last one yeah ok cool

4) thanks for waiting <3