Though the ceiling wasn't very interesting, Ravi had been staring at it for hours. He couldn't bring himself to move his body or to untangle himself from the blankets. There was absolutely nothing on his mind— or so he told himself. He didn't want to think about anything. He didn't want to remember all of the stupid things he'd done in the past few weeks. Rolling onto his side, Ravi squeezed his eyes shut, finally sick of looking at the ceiling. An image of N's face floated beneath his eyelids.

Was he ill? Ravi had managed to screw up all of his relationships— his friendships... and now his girlfriend. He groaned loudly and ruffled his hair. Why can't I do anything right? he thought. Even Ravi couldn't figure out his own behavior. In the last few weeks he had been irritable and mean to N. He had no reason for acting that way. At least, not one that he knew of. The events of last night kept replaying in Ravi's head like a broken record. Over and over, though it was the last thing he wanted to remember.

They had arrived in the hotel room in a flash. Ravi couldn't quite remember walking up the stairs to get there. Everything was a blur, including Nicole's delicate hand around his bicep. Somewhere in his mind he knew this wasn't right. It wasn't just because they were idols and their fans would freak. It wasn't because Ravi wasn't in love with his beautiful noona. It was because there was a large pot of guilt boiling up inside his stomach. Nicole led the way into their rented room and pushed Ravi near the bed.

"Noona," he said uncertainly. He sat on the edge of the mattress, looking up at his girlfriend. "I don't think—"

She silenced him with a kiss. Her thin fingers weaved their way through Ravi's hair. Despite the growing sense of sin, it felt good. "I thought I told you to call me Nicole," she whispered into his ear, tugging his black locks not so gently. Ravi grabbed onto her arms and pushed her away.

"Nicole, I don't think we should do this."

Her seductive expression cracked into a look of hurt and surprise. "Why not?!"

"I just..." Ravi couldn't even look his noona in the face. He knew he was being a coward, but hooking up like this didn't seem right. How was he supposed to explain that? "This isn't right for us to do."

"Ravi," Nicole said in a disappointed tone, hand rubbing circles on Ravi's chest. "Do you always do what you're told? I think you'll find that life is more fun when you improvise." She leaned forward, pressing her lips against the young boy's neck. Ravi felt her teeth scrape against his skin. He bit his lip hard enough to draw blood.

"Nicole, seriously." Ravi was surprised at how easy it was to resist the temptation that Nicole emitted. Though he sat there with the chance to lose his ity, he was able to say no. Why? Nicole was clearly gorgeous. The only reason a man would have to deny her was fear. Fear that there would be nothing left of him when she was finished. Ravi didn't have this fear anymore— only a steady determination. Nicole looked upset as she tugged Ravi's shirt open, revealing his muscled stomach. "Nicole," he said again, but she didn't seem to hear him.

She ran a hand down his abdomen, letting follow. Ravi couldn't fight back the shiver that ran through his spine. He didn't want to be cruel to Nicole by pushing her away. Though they were moving way too fast, she seemed to really like him. The last thing Ravi wanted was to destroy the friendship they'd had over the years. I want us to just be friends, Ravi thought with crushing realization. He'd never wanted Nicole the way he should have.

Before he could stop himself, Ravi shoved the older girl away from him. She landed on the floor before him, looking stunned and confused. "Ravi?" Nicole's questioning eyes bore into Ravi's. "I don't get it. What's wrong with you?! What, is there someone else you'd rather be doing this with?!"

N's face suddenly flitted before Ravi's eyes. He fought down the sick feeling that rose in his stomach. He covered his face with his hands, sitting deadly still. The room was silent for a moment. Despair filled Ravi's heart, thick and clogging. He felt as though he could choke on it.

"Oh, I get it," Nicole muttered, her voice growing ominous. "There is someone, isn't there?! So I guess I was too late, huh. You already gave your heart away and you're dating me out of pity?!" She was shouting now, her hands balling into fists at her sides.

"Nicole, I'm sorry. I didn't realize—"

"Don't!" she practically screamed, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I don't want to hear it!" Nicole rose from the floor. She hurled the room service telephone at Ravi before dashing out of the room. He managed to catch it before any damage could be done. Though he felt he deserved to be hit. Ravi knew it was pointless to go after her. She probably hated him now— just like everybody else.

xxx

N woke up underneath his VIXX members. An elbow was lodged in his side and a foot was dangerously close to his mouth.  The group had dogpiled on top of him as he slept. They all laughed as N tried to wiggle free. "Aigoo!" he shouted, now wide awake. "You're heavy!" One by one the younger boys crawled off of their leader. N noticed that instead of joining the dogpile, Leo was relaxing on his own futon.

"Happy birthday, N hyung~!" The members shouted in unison. They then launched into a messy goofy version of the happy birthday song. Ken danced like a fool and Hongbin and Hyuk laughed with their arms slung around each other's shoulders. N saw with devastating disappointment that Ravi wasn't in the room. Of course he wasn't. He had gone out last night and probably didn't return. N tried not to let this fact bother him. It was his birthday and he didn't want to make s worry.

"Thank you, guys," N smiled when they finished singing. "Though I think you need more practice."

"Well, we've got Hyuk's birthday next," Ken said. "We'll be awesome by then!" Despite Ravi's absence, N was touched that his friends really cared for him. They often complained about his nagging and he had worried that they'd grown tired of him. But looking at their smiling faces told N that he'd been a fool to think that. They really were a second family to him.

"There's cake and presents in the living room!" Hyuk shouted as he bounced out of the bedroom. He seemed as exited as if it were his own birthday party. The rest of the VIXX members shuffled after their maknae, freezing when they saw someone sitting on the couch. N felt his heart drop into his stomach.

Ravi was perched on the couch cushions, staring at the TV even though it was off. He's wearing pajamas, N noted with relief. So he had come back home last night. N smiled despite the nervousness that bubbled up inside of him. Ravi was there with the rest of the group. He had shown up for N's birthday even though they had argued. N resisted the tears that threatened to gloss his vision. He would look like a fool if he cried. But he was just so... happy. He was sure he'd been abandoned by the younger boy.

When Ravi noticed that he'd been spotted he stood. He held a small blue box in his hand. There was a silver bow neatly placed on the top of it. He strode awkwardly up to N, his eyes on the ground. "I'm sorry," he said, surprising the group. "I know I haven't been myself lately. And I took my frustration out on you, hyung. That was wrong of me to do. I'm done being a rebellious idiot and I'm sorry for the things I said to you... Do you forgive me?"

N was too shocked to respond. Ravi was... apologizing? Hope nearly choked the older boy as he wondered what this could mean. Were they okay now? Could they be friends again? Though the word 'friend' wasn't exactly inviting, N would give anything just to be close to the younger boy again. Before thinking, N reached his arms around Ravi's neck, pulling him into a hug. He was stunned by his actions, but was unable to pull away.

Ravi slowly wrapped his arms around his hyung and chuckled. "So is that a yes?"

N could only nod.

Hongbin sighed with relief. "Geez, you guys... Don't make us worry like that!"

"Don't think you're off the hook, Ravi," Ken joked. "You're getting all of N hyung's birthday slaps."

N was finally able to release Ravi. He stepped back with a blush that reached his ears. Surely it could be seen beneath his lightly tanned skin. But he couldn't help but feel like he'd somehow drifted into heaven. Or maybe this was all a dream and he would wake up tangled in his sheets. The thought terrified N.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's have some cake!" Hyuk roared, excitedly bouncing around the room.

"It's nine in the morning, Hyukie." Hongbin grabbed him by the colar, stopping the maknae in his tracks. "We'll eat cake after the movie." Hyuk resisted the urge to pout as his hyungs laughed.

"I say it's present time!" N announced, hopping onto the couch. This was how he wanted to spend his birthday— surrounded by friends, with Ravi at his side. N met Leo's eyes from across the living room. The quiet boy somehow seemed more isolated than usual. Was something bothering him? Leo looked away before N could read his expression. He kept his head down even as N opened up his gifts.

xxx

He was forgiven. Ravi felt as though he were floating through clouds. The day had gone by much more smoothly than he would have thought. It was fun, even. N was delighted with all of his presents. But Ravi still felt guilty that he'd had to buy his last minute. Why had he been such an idiot? He had thrown away N— the person who'd supported VIXX throughout every hardship— for some girl. Although he and Nicole were friends, Ravi didn't have feelings for her the way he'd thought he had.

The moon had sneaked its way though the sky without the VIXX members noticing. Now they were all preparing for bed. It was a shame that N's birthday had to end, but they were all exhausted! Ravi left the bathroom after washing his face. He was excited to change into his pajamas and snuggle into bed. But it didn't seem that that would happen any time soon.

In front of Ravi's bedroom door stood a sour looking Leo— more sour than usual. The older boy slowly slid his eyes over Ravi before nodding his head.

Ravi cleared his throat. "What is it, hyung?"

Leo didn't answer. Instead he beckoned for the VIXX rapper to follow him into the hallway of their dorm. Ravi's stomach twisted painfully as he remembered seeing Leo and N in each other's arms, N half . He swallowed hard. What's wrong with me? He knew that he should get over it. But still, it remained unexplained. What reason could they have had for being together like that? When they reached the quiet hallway Leo turned to face Ravi. He was definitely glaring, Ravi noted.

"I don't like how you've been treating N," Leo blurted out. The younger boy was stunned. Ravi wasn't expecting something so direct to come out of his hyung's mouth.

"I'm sorry. I already apologized to him for that."

Leo shook his head, black hair falling into his sharp eyes. "You'll do it again."

"What makes you so sure of that?" Ravi couldn't help the disrespectful twinge in his voice. This was out of the blue. What gave Leo the right to act like he knew what Ravi would or wouldn't do? Besides, N could take care of himself. If he couldn't he wouldn't be VIXX's leader. He didn't need Leo's protection and Ravi certainly didn't need his input.

"Lately you can't control yourself."

"That's my problem, not yours. And N hyung's not a baby. What I say to him won't destroy him."

"You think what you say doesn't hurt him?"

Ravi was too angry to notice that this was one of the longest conversations he'd had with Leo. The stoic boy glared down at him with incredible force. Ravi couldn't help but feel trapped. He suddenly recalled the look on N's face when he had insulted him. His hyung had nearly cried. Ravi's face flushed as disappointment poisoned his veins— disappointment at himself. He was too irked to care what he'd say to Leo next.

"I don't want to hear this from you. You're a sneak. What were you doing that day?" he sneered, and when Leo looked confused he continued, "I saw you two when I opened the door. Why were you holding N hyung like that? What kind of excuse could you possibly have?"

Leo was silent for a long moment. He seemed to be wondering whether or not he should respond. The battled for words was clear in his usually unreadable eyes. "N's been sad for a while," was all he said.

Ravi crossed his arms, waiting for more of an explanation.

"I could see it and... I wanted to help him—"

"Help him?!"

"I wanted to comfort him," Leo finished. Ravi glowered at his hyung incredulously. Seriously? That was his way of comforting? Leo rarely touched any of the members, especially N. How depressed would he have to look for Leo to hold him? What was it that made Leo think he had to put his hands on their leader?

"Bull," Ravi swore, not caring that he was speaking to a hyung. They stared at each other for a few minutes, both at a loss for words. What could they say at a time like this?

"You're not going out anymore?" Leo questioned, breaking the silence.

Ravi sneered smugly. "Nope. So sorry, but you're going to have to see my face around N hyung much more often." He turned before his hyung could reply, leaving the hallway. Now he felt even more tired than before. War seemed to be brewing underneath the happy VIXX facade. Ravi would be ready at whatever cost. He didn't want to make N cry. They should be close friends, like they were before. Ravi refused to hurt him like Leo said he would.

I think I liked him better when he kept his mouth shut. 

Arghhhh Hey, VIXX lovers~ I'm sorry this chapter is so late!! D: For some reason I got writer's block.

But was this chap okay?? I have no clue. I promise the next one will be better. And hopefully ON TIME! Oh, and if I were to write a Teen Top fanfic, who would you want paired with Niel for the main romance?

Anyway, thanks to all who have subscribed and read this little fanfic~! <3 Now y'all come back, ya hear?

Until next time!