"Come on, it's not like this is the first time," he tried to explain to me. 

"You know that already. I'm a celebrity, I'm getting paid to do this." 

"Yes, I know, and understand all of that. But why did you have to pick this one? I mean, how am I suppose to face my friends!" I reply on the verge of tears. 

"I mean, how am I suppose to go out there and act like you never did that! Thousands of people have seen you now! Even I have not seen you yet. And you want me to walk out there and face all those thousands that have seen your body. Those who have seen you carressing her, despite being my boyfriend! What do you want me to feel?" I ask him in frustration. 

I can see his breathing increases because he's just as upset as I am, but for a different reason.

"I don't understand! We made this agreement! I even told you before hand that there would be some scenes with a bit of . That I would have to be intimate with the other girl! I don't understand why you're so upset!" he tried to refrain from shouting at me. 

"Yes, yes, we did make the decision together. But I didn't know that you were going to be this intimate with her!" I replied, tears streaming down my face. 

"I told you before hand!" he finally shouted. 

"But I didn't know you were going to have with her!" I shouted back. 

He started pacing back and forth, running his hand through his hair in an angry manner. Taking a big breath, he turned back to me again. 

"I don't know what you want me to say! I just," he started before screaming in anger. 

"I just- I," I stuttered as I gasped for air. 

"Where are you going?" he screamed at me angrily. 

No longer able to hold in the mucus in my nose, I run to the bathroom and lock the door. As I angrily pulled off my clothes, his fists pounded on the door. Blasting the water on in the shower, I jump in and continue crying. Sitting on the floor of the shower, I sit there and cry out. 

"Mom!" I scream. 

I had been strong for too long. After all the fan hate mail, all the shut down social networks, and all the attacks in real life, I just couldn't take it anymore. I know it seemed so stupid for me to break down at this point, but it wasn't easy. You can only hold so much in; a feather could make all the difference on the scale of sanity. I'm not saying that I'm obsessed with him or anything, it was just, I was so tired. Everything was just piling up. Fans didn't like me anyways. This just... it just added onto their list. I was just so... tired.