Donghae rushed to SMent for his daily training, caught a glimpse of Hyukjae around the corner. “Hyukjae sure is early today.” Hyukjae and Mr. Lee Soo Man talked furtively inside the conference room. Donghae couldn’t see Mr. Lee Soo Man’s face clearly, only seeing his back. Hyukjae nodded seriously with a frown upon his face but managed to squeeze out an appreciative smile. Donghae notice these things too well. He didn’t pay much attention though, whatever it is, Hyukjae would tell him later, anyways.

Finished with his training, Hyukjae stayed home alone. 

Hyukjae stared at the drawer in which contains the envelope he had received from last time. He reached out for the envelope. 

“If... and only if… you want to know about what happened 10 years ago… you may open this envelope. Your father trusted this letter upon me, instructing me to give this to you when you are old enough, so, read this at your own risk. I don’t even know what’s in it…” These words replayed in Hyukjae’s mind over and over. 

Something that he buried underneath for so long, now have risen as if it never left his mind. Should I open it or not? 

This debate perturbed his mind every day. 

What if it’s something bad? He have always had a bad vibe when he consider this question. 

A phone call interrupted his thoughts, "hello?" 
"Is this Mr. Lee Hyuk Jae?"
"Yes... Who is this?"
"I'm calling from the Republic of Korea police agency, I have a sad news to inform you. Your father, Mr. Lee, have passed away in the prison... Your contact information is given by the children protection center and since you are not a minor anymore, we hope ...." 

Hyukjae froze. 
A person he had forgotten for years and years. The name of his father raise up in his mind, his father's tender face reappeared in front of his eyes. A memory, a rather painful memory at the children protection center, strikes him once again.

Hyukjae managed to squeeze out the words, "Thank you for your call...but--" The guy on the other side, without realizing that Hyukjae was about to continue, said, "An old friend of Mr. Lee would like to hold a funeral for him, and he kindly asked me to inform you that it will be held on coming Friday, and to give you his contact information....."

The call have long ended, but Hyukjae felt so suffocated by this sudden news. No matter what happened after his father left, the father in his memory remained as the gentle father who cared very much for him. He looked at the envelope in his hand. These are his father's last words to him... 

Hyukjae opened the second envelope inside. The tall and slanted handwriting filled the page. Hyukjae's eyes focused on each word, absorbing its meaning. His father's voice once again echoed in his mind. 

"My son, Hyukjae. I am sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't take care of your mom and you well. I am sorry that I didn't take on the responsibilities that I promised. I am sorry to let you down. I know you hate me, and I know that you must have thought that I became a heartless monster because I was found guilty of murder. But...But I am not. Because there is someone that I love dearly that I must protect. Someone whom I owe my life to. And I must repay him. I must repay him so that he can live his life like he is supposed to. I don't dare to ask for your forgiveness, but I hope you know that I love you and your mother very much.... "

After Hyukjae finish the first page, there was a second page. Hyukjae read on with a blank mind. A photo fell out from the second page, it was a picture of two young guys, smiling brightly with traces of youth. Their faces were very close to each other, their hands on each other's shoulder. "So... This is the person you want protect even if it means abandoning your wife and son?" Hyukjae thought bitterly. The guy on the left was Hyukjae's father when he was young. The other guy...... looked extremely familiar?? 

The wooden door opened, Hyukjae quickly hide the letters as Donghae entered, “ahh.. ahhh  ahhh… my name is Donghae.. “His voice was husky and raspy from hours of training. Hyukjae looked at Donghae as he threw a cough drop into Donghae's hands. Hyukjae was taken aback as he look into Donghae's eyes... This much resemblance... The guy in the picture...

There's no doubt. 

"Come here, Hae."
"Hmm? Waeyo?"
Donghae walked near Hyukjae, Hyukjae put his arms around Donghae's waist, leaning his head against Donghae's stomach. 
"Just.... stay like this for a while."
Donghae put his hand on Hyukjae's head, pulling him closer to himself. Fully aware that there is something going on but at the same time Hyukjae just want some peace in his mind. Donghae silently stood by Hyukjae's side without any demands of explanation.

Debates and worries raced across Hyukjae's mind, in contrary to Donghae's peaceful mood. Despite the shocking news, what Hyukjae thought of, isn't how he should react to this. 

"How would Donghae feel if I tell him? 
Donghae would probably feel guilty right...?
He would feel in debt to me... 
What should I even say if I was to tell him?

I don't want to tell him when my mind is a mess right now....
I probably shouldn't be the one telling this story to him..."


Hyukjae imagine Donghae saying, "Hyukjae, I'm sorry. From now on, you don't have to stay by my side anymore. I am not the right person for you."

Hyukjae shook his thoughts aside, mixed with fear and anxiety, he absolutely does not want to hear Donghae say this to him. Never. 

Not only because it would hurt to hear it, but because it would hurt for Donghae to say it.