My heart that loved you
My eyes that looked at you
Are still here..

It’s been 1. 07 years.

Since you wiped the tears on my cheeks and say, it’s okay baby.

It’s been 391 days.

Since I last saw you.

It’s been 55 weeks.

Since you last held my hand.

It’s been 9384 hours.

Since I last felt your warmth.

It’s been 563,040 minutes.

Since you last smiled at me.

It’s been 33,782,400 seconds.

Since I ruffled my fingers through your hair.

My heart that love you..
My eyes that looked at you
I’ll wait……                                              

                                                 …………………………………..

Hyukjae, half awake from the chilly air laying on the bed inside a small apartment in Manhattan, reached his arm to his right.

Donghae, still deep in his sleep in his dorm in Seoul, reached his arm to his left.

My heart that love you..
My eyes that looked at you
I’ll wait……

The old closet door made a crackling sound as it opened, Donghae reached inside to grab his favorite coat. But he grabbed nothing but cold air. “Right…Hyukjae took it with him.”

In the cold wind the feeling of
Your warm hand stays for a while
All your traces become tears and stays on my cheeks
After i go on a trip for a short while
And wipe off my heart wrenching wound
After time passes by when I met you
I will tell you that I missed you

The antique wooden floor feels a bit warm with the morning sunlight. Hyukjae walked to the coat hanger and pulled his coat on. The sweet and fresh scent of Donghae still linger on the coat. Hyukjae took as sniff as he button it up.

Today when sun sets
And the moon rises again It’s still the same
Oh why is my heart
Changing this fast
Your Appearance that resemble the blue sky rains
When my body gets wet from this rain,
I’ll hide my running tears

Rushing down the stairs, he grabbed a bag and pulled it on his shoulders. He got on his skateboard and started skating along the bay side. The breeze rushed through his face and his dark brown hair, carrying all thoughts and worries away. The salty smell of the sea reached to his nose, he turned and saw a hazy sun, rising from the middle of the horizon. “Donghae-ah, your eyes are like the sparkling water of the sea.” He smiled as he remember that Hyukjae once told him that.

When you pass by my finger tips
Warmth spreads throughout my cold heart

I want to softly go to you and lean on you
But the distance between us is not narrowing

I want to reach out my hands and hold you
But it feels like we’ll get farther apart so I just linger around you

It’s okay even if I can’t love you
It’s okay even if I can’t reach you
Lonely love
Yes I love you, even from far away
I can see you

The sides of the metal stairs in the small building in the middle of Manhattan is filled with graffiti. Thump…Thump… his shoes made a noise as he walk down the stairs. He opened the door that leads him to a dance studio in the basement. One side of the studio is lined with wall papers of blue sky and white clouds. Ironically, perhaps because dancers here will be too busy to even take a look outside. The other side is lined with huge mirrors. The lights were flicked on, reflecting on the mirror was a handsome figure. Hyukjae began his daily training. 

My heart can reach you

                                                    ………………………………….

Since today is Valentine’s Day, the flower shop where Donghae had a part time job was filled with orders. He worked from day to night, bunches of roses were sold, guys dressed in formal suit come and go. Even the streets seems like it’s filled with the scent of chocolates; the atmosphere is filled with shy confessions. But it all seemed as if Donghae is in a different world. All day he is only packing flowers and giving out orders to his customers. Heechul make his trips for delivery while “occasionally” stop by the arcade center and spending “a few moments” in there between each order. Just the moment Heechul left the store, Donghae noticed that last bouquet of roses left on the bottom of the shelf. Donghae grabbed the flowers and ran out the door but he only managed to catch the sight of Heechul’s car turning around the corner. He went back and told his boss that he will make this delivery.

Behind the glass doors was a customer service desk, the old man security pushed his glasses up and looked at Donghae. “I’m here to deliver flowers, 18th Floor, Y Style Company, to Miss Kang Ri Kyung.” The old man smiled kindly at him, “Sign here then you may take the elevator on the left.”

One of the employees nodded his head to the direction of a desk outside the conference room. “She sits there.” Every employee was immersed in their work, no one bothered to even take a look at Donghae so Donghae just left the flowers on that desk.

The moment he put down the pink roses, he noticed the pink wooden photo frame on the desk.

“Hyukjae??!” His eyes widened as he saw the picture. Hyukjae was smiling brightly, showing his gums, and held up a peace sign.

“But who is that woman next to him??”

A rush of fear and adrenaline rushed up to Donghae, he has never seen this woman before. The woman look about the same age as they are, maybe a little bit older. She had long wavy dark hair, her smile was so bright that her eyes almost form a line. Her chin was resting on Hyukjae. Her cheeks was flushed with a peach color.

Donghae was afraid… this woman…

His hand quivered as he took the card that was attached to the roses. “I shouldn’t be doing this…” He felt a hint of guilt in himself as he opened the card. It printed,

“Dear Ri Kyung,

Happy Valentine’s Day! Thank you for everything you have done for me, I Love you!

                                                            Love, Hyukjae.”

Donghae’s heart dropped a beat.

Love, Hyukjae.

“Whattt????” At this point, Donghae couldn’t be strong and tell himself that it’s ok anymore. Hyukjae…is saying “I love you” to another woman?

His heart went from skipping beats to beating rapidly.

oh no no It can’t be it Really it can’t be you
While my heart is nervously fidgeting the moment that is coming closer

 “Is that why Hyukjae haven’t called me ever since?”

People say, “If that person truly loves you, no matter how busy they are, they will always take time out for you.”

His heart felt empty, as if his blood is slowly draining out.

The one that I had inside my head only you
I’m in the midst of going crazy in the fantasy that seems just like reality

 “Why did Hyukjae send roses to this woman on Valentine’s Day?”

He suddenly felt stupid for thinking that they can be together forever and ever.

An instant Heart Attack This time’s end
The world overpowering me The most entrancing feeling’s Heart Attack

“What about me?”

There’s no forever.

“What happened to all the things we went through? They don’t matter anymore?”

“What am I to him, anyways?”

“Does he even love me anymore?”

The image of Hyukjae telling him not to wait for him to come back flashed across Donghae’s mind.

After the one that shines so brightly like this disappears Not anything was the same
Again the airs become stagnant and hardened that I couldn’t even breath

“Who is this woman?”

“What is her relationship with Hyukjae?”

Heart Attack The wait’s end
The serenity that quietly grasped my heart that seemed like it would burst
Even if my breathe stops, right now it’s so peaceful that I like it.

“Hey, what are you doing here?!” An unfamiliar voice brought Donghae back to reality. It was the employee who pointed him to the desk. “Uh-mm I’m leaving now. Have a nice day, Sir.” Donghae spitted out those words and left the building.

Donghae parked his boss’s car at the flower shop and took the train back home. The train passed by endless rows of yellow street lights. Mesmerized by his reflection on the window, infinite questions that raced through his mind, Donghae looked at the window as if that’s the only way he can see the reflection of Hyukjae sitting beside him. Donghae fell into a deep sleep the moment he got home. Restless thoughts have stressed his mind out, the only thing he could do was to set them aside….for now at least.

But.

What Donghae didn’t know was, a box of white chocolate was waiting for him in his mailbox that he didn’t know until months later, labeled “From Hyukjae.”

What Donghae didn’t know was, that Hyukjae’s body was enervated by the hours of training, barely having anytime to sleep.

What Donghae didn’t know was, there’s only one person Hyukjae loves, and that’s Donghae.