It was four hours since Luhan left the house. I didn't know what to do, should I call my parents and alert them of the situation? Or patiently wait for his return? Previous experience told me he won’t come back and that thought scared me more then I thought it would.

I start pacing around my room, feeling extremely anxious, my tendency to worry became even more prominent and I thought my head would burst at any moment. My brother who I haven’t seen in years comes back and then leaves, just like that.

I suddenly hear a small bang downstairs and rapidly make my way down, as a relentless optimist I run believing Luhan has finally come home, however I come into contact with my mother instead

‘What’s going on’ she looks at me and then surveys the surrounding with a curious face.

‘Nothing’ I reply all too quickly, I couldn't break it to her, that he left. It already hit her hard once before; I don’t think she’ll be able to take it a second time.

‘Where’s your brother?’ She now asks with a warm smile, this is the first time I've seen her smile properly in years, I forgot how uplifting and lovely it was.

It killed me to lie as I am a strong believer in always relaying the truth; however the current circumstances did not permit the truth being told, so I decide to say a little white lie.

‘Ermm. Well he said his going to meet up with his girlfriend. His going to come back soon’ I say the first thing that comes to my head.

‘Oh’ she replies sadly

‘Oh that’s fine then, I haven’t seen my boy in a long time, want to make up for lost time’ Mother replies with a wistful sigh

‘Don’t worry he’ll back home and we can all spend time together as a family’ I say quickly to assure her, she sends me a small smile and ruffles my hair for a brief second

‘He has a girlfriend’ she suddenly snaps her eyes up at me.

I knew this was going to happen, when a small lie, gradually develops into a gigantic, frightening monster-like lie.

With a deep sigh I decide to lie once again

‘Yeaah... he does’

‘Oooh well isn’t this exciting’

‘He needs to introduce his new lady friend then, who knows she might be my daughter-in-law in the future’’ She looks at me and chuckles lightly

‘Aah yes, daughter in law...yes’ I couldn't help but reply awkwardly. Mother then leaves to go upstairs and I find the nearest wall and slide down feeling absolutely exhausted and tired from the lying and waiting for Luhan. How do people lie all the time? I wonder out loud.

I put my head down on my lap and decide to sit in this position for a while. As time passes, I feel myself becoming even more tired, to the point it becomes a chore to lift my head up.

 Majority of my senses stop functioning as I gradually drift off to dream land, this in return causes me to not hear the door opening and closing. But thankfully my sense of touch was perfectly intact as I felt a light kick to my thigh.

My quick reflexes alert me and I forcefully grab onto the feet which kicked me causing the person to fall backwards because of the sudden loss of balance.

I knew only one person would do this to me. LUHAN. I’m sure my Mother or Father would not kick me all of a sudden. I've spent ten years of my life without much interaction, I doubt Luhan’s reappearance would suddenly turn them into crazy mental escaped patients who have a penchant for kicking people.

I get up quickly and confirm that it was indeed Luhan who kicked me. His body was still slumped onto the floor and I belt out a happy, victory laugh as I stand before him.

He notices this and quickly gets up with a snarl.

‘What was that for?’ he says while leaning his face towards mine with scowl

‘You kicked me FIRST’ I squeal back at him with frustration.

‘Okay okay, calm your ’ he replies while putting his hands up in a surrendering motion

‘What did you say?’ I half whisper at him, this is so embarrassing. Why would he say something like this to me? My face was turning ripe red with anger and embarrassment

‘How could you say something like that to your sister?’

‘Well it’s good you’re not my sister’ he retorts back with mock laughter

‘I AM your sister’

‘I stopped seeing you as a sister a long time ago’ he quickly says and briskly walks away 

‘Well this doesn't hurt at all’ I say with a fake laugh. It looked like he genuinely meant it and that made me feel hurt the most.

However I knew that I needed to learn to be be patient with him, despite how infuriating he always is.

I follow him into the sitting room, in the hopes of finding out more about his disappearance, why he suddenly hates me and where he left for, four hours ago.

I’m about to sit next to him on the sofa but he quickly and purposely puts his feet up to occupy the entire space, but my actions are too late to stop and I accidentally sit on his legs. It takes a full two seconds to register what I’m doing before my instincts pull me up.

‘I hate you’ I throw an insult at him

‘You don’t’ he again replies in that ambiguous manner

‘Well you obviously don’t know me’

We sit in silence for about five minutes, both of us staring into the TV. While he was probably watching it, I couldn’t help but let my mind wonder off about the past and why he returned now.

I decide to broach the subject of where he was a few hours ago, I was pretty sure that I wouldn't receive a straight answer or that I’ll get ignored.

‘Soo....where were you four and a half hours ago’ I question and play it off coolly by looking at my nails

He looks at me with a small smirk which confuses me

‘You’ve been counting’ he smiles for a split second before turning his attention to the TV.

‘N-n-no I wasn’t, where did you get that daft idea’ I reply with sweat beads forming around my forehead. Why am I acting like this, I mentally curse myself. It’s normal for a sibling to care for another sibling; I should just say it straight. But for some reason it was impossible to do so.

‘Well you did say ‘’four and a half hours’’ So I’m pretty sure you counted’

‘Yeah so, Mum was asking me questions’

‘Where did you go then?’

He looks at me for a brief second

‘I was with my girlfriend’ he studies my face for a reaction but I stay still for a second

‘YOU WERE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND’ I half shout at him after properly registering it. He looks quite taken aback by my reaction

‘Whoa, well I’m happ-‘

‘THIS IS GOOD’ I reply before he can finish off his sentence. For some reason his face didn't looked very pleased with this reaction

‘I told mum you were out with your girlfriend so she doesn't worry about where you went off to, so it’s very fitting with where you actually went to’ I quickly explain to him’ His expression relaxed slightly, but causing mine to become a bit perplexed.

‘What’s up with the several different expressions?’ I internally think

‘Oh yeah, so who is this girl? She might be my future sister in law’, I try using the same joke as Mother. Well I say mine without a chuckle because the idea didn't sit amazingly with me. I guess the sisterly protective instincts were kicking in.

‘I told you, you’re not my sister, stop forcing that title on yourself’ he suddenly remarks with anger and gets up from his place.

This startles me for a second, however I soon find my own voice and try to talk back in a more rational manner

‘Ok, ok, I won’t say it anymore. I don’t know why it gets you so angry’ I reply with a small hint of annoyance lacing my words.

‘There’s a lot of thing you don’t know’ and with that he stalks upstairs to his room, well I’m assuming he is.

My brain hurt from the constant arguments between him and me. I don’t think I've ever argued with anyone before except for him. So tiring.

I then decide to stalk upstairs as well and as I near the hallway, I hear a conversation between Luhan and my Mother and decide to go over to eavesdrop a little. Maybe it'll clear the mystery revolving around Luhan.

To hear better I run downstairs to the kitchen and  take a glass out from the cupboard and quickly run back upstairs quietly and place it on my bedroom wall and lean my ears on it,as Luhan and my bedroom are next to each other.

I can’t make out everything they were saying, however judging by the tone of their voices I could tell that it was either an intense conversation, or they were actually arguing over something. I suddenly hear my name being said out loud which increases my curiosity to listen, therefore I get out and decide to stand outside Luhan’s door.

‘I’m sorry it was the only way; I didn't want to be known as a freak for feeling like this’ I hear Luhan saying with a desperate tone to his voice.

'What does this mean' I think to myself

‘So you put our family through all this’ I hear my Mother saying, her voice sounding extremely weak and exhausted.

As I was finally nearing the end of the mystery surrounding Luhan, I hear footsteps approaching and quickly run into my room and shut the door quietly.

I gather all my thoughts about the recent events. What is Luhan talking about?. What does he mean by feeling like a freak?

‘AGH my head is going to explode from the constant over-thinking’ I scream internally and decide to go to sleep to get some stability into my life. It’s been such a roller-coaster these few days.

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Sorry for not regularly updating, Uni has taken over my life. I never imagined a  degree would  be this exhausting and hard. #cries

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