(Chen)

!!! WHY AM I SEEING THIS?! WHAT IS THIS!?!? WHY ARE THEY KISSING!?!?

I stared as Kyungsoo kissed Hani or Hani kiss Kyungsoo. I don’t know which and I don’t give a damn!! I AM SO MAD!!! WHY IS KYUNGSOO KISSING HER!? ARE THEY TOGETHER!? AND WHY IS HANI LETTING HIM KISS HER!?!?

My heavy breathing didn’t stop and the tears in my eyes started to multiply. WHY?? Moon Hani why must you hurt me like this??

I wanted to go out of the car, to snatch Hani away from Kyungsoo and kiss her, tell her that I love her… tell her that…

She’s my everything.

Tell her that… I love her… more than I love Yura.

OKAY I ADMIT GADDAMIT!!! I LOVE HANI!! I am no longer confused. I love her more than anything and anyone. I have made my decision…

But I guess I was too late. Seeing Hani and Kyungsoo… it breaks my heart.

--

The Next Day…

“hey man what happened to you?” Chanyeol asked as soon as he saw me.

“what?” I asked

“you look like you haven’t slept in days, your eyes are swollen… did you cry? Did something happen?” Baekhyun asked and I just shook my head.

I didn’t sleep last night… HOW COULD I!?!? I was so messed up and my feelings were eating me, it was like I was in a black hole of misery.

But that night my mind drifted off to Hani, did she feel this way when I was dating Yura??? HOW COULD SHE HAVE OVERCOME THIS HURT!?!?

I have hurt my best friend a lot… is this how reality is teaching me a lesson?? By letting me be hurt as well?!?

I kept crying last night and I don’t know why. I know I’m pathetic but I just can’t contain my feelings any longer!! Don’t blame me… I probably sound gay but that’s how I feel at the moment and I can’t control it. the sadness and pain is too much to bear.

Seeing the person you love be with someone else is really a hard thing. Now I know how Hani feels, how she felt a year ago… and it pains me to think that she must’ve cried more times than this.

“HEY!!“ I heard a familiar voice and I don’t know why but hearing her voice now hurts me..

“YAH!!! WHERE WERE YOU YESTERDAY!?” Baekhyun yelled and I looked up to meet her face. She was smiling, like it didn’t bother her at all that she wasn’t at my birthday.

“I’m really sorry you guys but----” I don’t want to hear it. she’s just gonna say she was with Kyungsoo… I don’t wanna hear it.

“where are you going?” Chanyeol asked me as I walked away

“in case you haven’t noticed, the bell rang 10 seconds ago.” I said in a cold voice and continued to go to the classroom. I felt Hani’s eyes dig at the back of my head but I don’t want to turn around.

It hurts seeing her now..

--

Lunch Time.

I didn’t want to go to the cafeteria but Yura insisted. So I told her to go on ahead and I will catch up. But I won’t… I’ll just stay here at the secret garden and wait till lunch is over. Then if she asks I’ll say something came up..

I don’t want to see Hani right now. It hurts me so much. Why does loving our best friend hurt so much!? Isn’t it supposed to be fun because you’re best friends?? You know everything about each other which makes you the perfect couple!! But why is it like this!?

 I don’t understand it all…

“AHA!” I heard a very familiar voice, a voice that I don’t want to hear but I wanted to hear.

“there you are! I knew I’d find you here if you aren’t at the rooftop.” I felt her walk closer to me and I turned around.

Hani looked blooming, like a new flower that had just opened up. I wanted to hug her, I wanted to kiss her… but I can’t.

“so… I need to explain some things here.” She said sheepishly and was holding something behind her back.

Oh right. My birthday… she wasn’t there…. She was with Kyungsoo… now Kyungsoo is more important… GOD!!! IT MAKES ME SO MAD!!!

“what?” I asked coldly and she was shocked but kept her cool.

“well, you know how I didn’t show up at your birthday? Well, I was actually planning on showing up but then----” she tried to smile but I just couldn’t. I AM SO MAD AND ANNOYED RIGHT NOW. I GET IT. YOU WERE WITH KYUNGSOO YOU DON’T HAVE TO RUB IT IN MY FACE.

“yeah I know. You’re with Kyungsoo so you didn’t show.” I said and looked directly at her, her eyes went wide in disbelief.

“h-how did you…” she stuttered.

“I went to Kyungsoo’s place yesterday. You were absent. Kai told me Kyungsoo was sick so I figured you were there and I was right. How is he by the way?? Is he better now that he’s passed on his sickness to you?” I asked. I don’t know why I am being like this. It feels as if my heart was pounding so fast but it was out of anger.

“w-what?? What are you----” she mumbled and she looked back at me in shock

“oh please, I saw you yesterday weren’t you listening?? I saw Kyungsoo kiss you!!” I yelled and her eyes went wider.

“is he alright now? Did his sickness go away because of your kiss!? You ditched my birthday for that!? You ditched my birthday so you could go to Kyungsoo!? WHAT KIND OF A BEST FRIEND ARE YOU!?!” I yelled and I felt angry tears coming out of my eyes but I controlled them.

“I WAITED FOR YOU!! YOU PROMISED YOU’D COME TO MY BIRTHDAY BUT YOU DIDN’T!!! You were with Kyungsoo!!! GOD!! ARE YOU EVEN TOGETHER YET!!?!? I know he’s courting you but can’t you be a little mellow!? He’s only courting you and you already allowed him to kiss you!?! IS THIS WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE WHO LEAVE AND GO TO DIFFERENT COUNTRIES?!? DO THEIR ATTITUDES CHANGE AS W---”

SLAP!!!

Hani’s hand making contact with my skin echoed in the secret garden. I felt the sting on my cheek and it burned. And then I heard sobbing…

I turned to face Hani…

She was crying.

“WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME LIKE THAT!?!? WHO ARE YOU TO SAY HOW I SHOULD ACT TOWARDS PEOPLE!?!?” she yelled and I was frozen

“DID I EVER QUESTION YOU ON HOW YOU ACTED BEFORE!?!? WHEN YOU WERE WITH YURA!??! DID I EVER SAY ANYTHING AGAINST YOU?!” she asked and I wasn’t able to answer

“ I DIDN’T !!! BECAUSE I KNOW MY PLACE!!! I AM JUST A BEST FRIEND THAT’S WHY I HAD NO RIGHT TO DICTATE AT YOU ON HOW YOU SHOULD ACT!!! I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING TO STOP YOU BECAUSE I WAS JUST A BEST FRIEND!!” she continued and more tears started to flow in her eyes

I wanted her to stop… I don’t want to see her cry… because of me she was crying again… I was wrong… I let my emotions get the best of me…

“H-Honeyb----”

“I WAS JUST A BEST FRIEND TO YOU JONGDAE THAT’S WHY I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!! I KNOW MY PLACE!! Do you know yours?!” she asked and I was stunned

“w-what do you mean?” I asked

“you’re JUST my best friend as well Jongdae… so I hope you won’t judge me on how I act towards Kyungsoo. BE FAIR. I didn’t judge you before, so don’t judge me now.. BEST FRIEND.” she said with anger in her voice but I could also sense sadness…

I was frozen, I was shot. Her words stung, it hurt more than it should.

JUST A BEST FRIEND

“do you remember?? The day when Yura agreed to be your girlfriend?” she asked softly, the tears didn’t stop from going down her cheeks and neck.

“you were so happy, if only you saw what was behind that costume that day…” she said and that’s when I realized it…

“Hani I’m----”

“it was my birthday that day Jongdae… it was birthday but the present I got from you was only a heartbreak.” She said and I felt tears flow on my cheeks.

“you have no idea how hard it was for me to get over you…. Do you have any idea how miserable I was in Japan?? I don’t think you do cause you weren’t there… YOU WERE NEVER THERE.” She said

She’s right… I was never there for her… I would only be there when I needed something. I’m HORRIBLE. I’m the WORST.

I stared at Hani, she kept on sobbing and attempting to dry her tears, I noticed the box she was holding. I wanted to hug her but I feel like she’ll push me away. MY BEST FRIEND HATES ME NOW.

“by the way…” Hani said and I looked at her, she tossed me the box and turned away.

“I let Kyungsoo kiss me not because he was courting me and I liked him…“ she said and I froze. She turned halfway to meet my eyes. I held my breath and I wanted to scream when I heard the next sentence that rolled off …

“I let him kiss me because he’s my boyfriend.” 

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DAN DAN DAAAAAAAAAAAAN!! cheers to all the KyungHani shippers out there hahaha!!

for those with a broken heart I suggest you call an angel right now.

and oh!! read my new short story 20 Questions !!! it's also ChenxOC based so you'll be fine :) THANKS!! Leave Comments and all that.