You walk into the kitchen, and see umma at the coffee maker, filling her cup again. You fix some food, and sit down at the breakfast nook. She takes a seat across from you, sipping at her coffee. You were looking out the window, but you could feel her looking at you. You turn to her, and raise a  brow.

"Why are your eyes red?"

"W-what are you talking about, umma?"

"Your eyes are red... like you were crying." You break eye contact, and focus on your breakfast. Umma grabs your wrist. "Ae Sook. Look at me."

You do, sighing. What am I supposed to do? I can't bother her with my problems. Hers are much more important. "Have you taken your medication?" You try to distract her, and finish your food.

She gives you a look. "I don't have to take them in the morning anymore. Now, what's wrong?"

Ah, what the hell.. "Baro... Baro is back in town. And so are CNU, Gongchan, Sandeul, and Jinyoung..." You stand up, and walk towards the sink.

"Uh huh.."

"And I made plans to see them tomorrow," you attempt a casual tone.

"Yes.."

"I talked to Amber about it, and she said I shouldn't spend time with them." You rinse off your bowl, and put it in the dishwasher. Out of the corner of your eye, you see her stand up.

"Wae?" She furrowed her brows.

"Zico."

"What about him? Does he not like the boys?"

You bite your lip. "Well. Zico doesn't like a lot of my friends..."

Umma cocked her head, not saying anything for a moment. "Ae Sook?" You look at her, waiting for her to go on. "Why doesn't Youngji come around anymore?"

"Zico."

"And why don't you ever call Shin?"

"Zico..."

"Please tell me you haven't given him control of your social life. Please." You stay silent. She goes on, her voice sounding more desperate now. "Please tell me that he isn't the reason why you've gone to so many of his friends' parties. Why you haven't spent with any of your friends. Why everything has been about Sulli and Amber and even P.O."

Something clicked in her head, and a look of horror spread across your poor umma's face. "Why you've been eating dinner in your room. Why you have been dressing differently. Ae Sook, you haven't been yourself in so long... Wae? What did he do to you?"

Your eyes sting, but you ignore it. You walk over to umma, and wrap your arms around her waist trying to hide your tears. "It's not just my social life. It's-it's everything now, umma... I do what he tells me, and that's just how things are. But it's only getting worse and I-I-I don't know what to do..."

She rubs your back. "Why are you still with him if he won't let you be your own person?" She asked it gently, but it was a valid question. One that made you sob even harder.

"That's the problem, umma. This has been such a long thing. I don't know if there is a me without Zico. I don't know how to be my own person anymore." And it was true. He's made me question myself so much, and I've done everything he's told me to up until recently. I haven't been making my own decisions. "Umma..? Who am I?"

She was your hair. "You are my wonderful, caring, strong and beautiful daughter. Who knows what the right decision is, but needs to decide if she's going to make that choice." You nod.

"Ae Sook.. You know you can't depend so much on a man. Look where it's put me.." She sighed. "This isn't about me, though. It's about you. I'm going to leave it up to you. You're an adult. But I'm glad you told me what's going on. I'm going to be checking in. A lot. I don't want you getting hurt. Arraso?" You nod again.

"Good." She pulls away and looks you in the eye. "Please. Be careful. I'm so sorry for being so out of it for the past year and a half. I wish I'd paid more attention. Maybe I could have helped you sooner."

Your mouth opens, and then closes.. "Umma! It's not your fault at all!"

Umma raises her brows. "Whose fault is it then?"

"Mine! I must not be doing something right if he's acting this way..."

What you said must have done something to her, because finally her tears welled up in her eyes. "Jebal.. don't think like that. Don't think that any of it is your fault. If I've learned anything in the past six months, it's that what happened with me and your father, wasn't my fault. It was up to him to leave, and I didn't know why. I believed for years and years that it was all my fault. That I had done something to cause him to drink, to go seek love from other women, and finally, to leave. But you knew it wasn't me. And now I know, too. So please. Don't blame yourself..."

You spent the rest of the day on the couch with umma, watching old movies. You two stayed silent, but it was okay. It had been a long time since you had a heart-to-heart with her, and now there seemed to be no more pressure to talk. You felt much lighter now that you had talked about Zico with your umma. Of course, you couldn't tell her everything. You couldn't risk giving her that kind of stress so soon. But at least you had finally opened up.

You had went back up to your room early, calling, "Saranghae, umma!" on your way up the stairs. Now laying on your bed and staring at your ceiling, you suddenly remember what day it is.

"Oh!" you exclaimed. Tomorrow... Baro. Of course you are still going. You have to. Just one last time. One last time I'll break a rule... You turn onto your side, and the events of the day wash over you. One more rule broken couldn't hurt, could it..? And with that, you drift off to sleep.