I could very well get used to this. Really well. 

I did not count the nights whenever I met Luna. I just enjoyed every second of it. We danced, we sang, we laughed, we played, we joked... we kissed. Those moments I spent with her were the times when I felt genuinely happy. I can forget all my miseries in real world. I can just sleep and dream, sleep and dream. Like there was no end at all.

But things do end. One time my alarm clock rang and I awoke in frustration. So I have to stop setting my alarm clock at 6am - which causes me to be running late for class; There was also a time when Luna was telling me a really funny story when bright light beamed on my face. It was the sun rising, its sunrays gleaming directly through my window. So I have to pull on the curtains before I sleep. However, no matter how I tried to block the things that kept me from waking up, reasons from left to right still kept on popping up. In the end, I have no choice but to move on for the day and anticipate the next night I would see Luna.

Today I was sitting alone in the cafeteria. I skipped my first class since I was already one-hour late and absorbed myself in books for the past two hours instead. I glanced at my wristwatch and sighed. Suho and the rest of my classmates still have thirty minutes before break time.

I pulled out my sketchbook and decided to draw to kill time. Frankly, I do not know what to draw, so I just let my hand do its business.

"She's pretty." 

I jumped in alarm and turned to my side - Amber was leaning over my shoulder and smiling at the woman in my sketch: Luna.

"Thanks." I grinned. "Have a seat."

Amber was my classmate in Biology 101. We're pretty close, since we're seatmates.

"So, who's that?" she asked.
"Her name is Luna." and I grinned even wider. Even her name made me feel butterflies.
"Your girl?"

Was she? I looked down at my sketch and focused on Luna's detailed features. I remembered how it felt so real every time I looked into her almond eyes. But then I remembered...

"Let's just say that she's the woman of my dreams." There. I think that response was safe.

Suho arrived and sat beside me. He glanced at my drawing and raised an eyebrow at me.

"I don't know you have a girlfriend." I can sense that his tone was more of an accusation than a question.

I raised my hands defensively and shrugged.

"She's the woman of my dreams." I repeated.
"By 'woman of your dreams'..." Chanyeol, my other friend, cut in. He sat beside Amber and flashed his many teeth at me. "Do you mean, A) your ideal girl, B)a girl who popped in your dream or C) your girlfriend?"  

D Chanyeol. All of the above.

Chanyeol did not wait for my answer and reached towards my sketchpad. He tilted his head from left to right, as if he was trying to figure out which angle was best to look from.

"I think I've seen her before." he said.
"And that is impossible." I snatched my pad away from him and tucked it in my bag. I don't want more people feasting on my drawing and asking more questions about Luna.
"Why?" Chanyeol asked.
"Because..." I struggled for words to say but I can't decide if I should tell them the truth. What? That I was falling for a girl who was visiting me in my dreams? That I was probably mad because she only exists in my imagination? That there was a part of me wishing she's real? "It is."

I stood up ang gathered my things.

"Where are you going?" Amber asked, disappointed.
"Library." I grunted. It's the first excuse that entered my mind and I just went along with it. Suho, Chanyeol and Amber's eyes followed my movement and to satisfy these three, I turned to right just where the library was.

Now what should I do next?

I walked along the rows of books beside me. Science, technology, literature, numbers... nothing interesting. But I still continued strolling until I reached a book that caught my eye: Unlocking Your Dreams.

There was no hesitation, no doubt in me when I reached over that book. I spent hours reading it. I read for so long that I forgot that I have my next class.

"Oh shoot!" I jumped from my chair and grabbed my bag and the book, running like a madman towards my next class. When I reached the auditorium, the professor barely glanced at me. Thank goodness I have at least a hundred classmates on this class.

After class, Suho approached me and put a hand on my shoulder. His face was blank which only means he has to say something serious.

"Kyungsoo, I'm getting worried on you." he blurted. There we go again. Sometimes, Suho was friend. Sometimes he was my mother. "You're always late in classes, you don't do your assignments, and your grades are falling." 

See what I'm talking about?

"I'm fine Suho." I answered, smiling. 
"I'm just thinking that Sulli's death affects you that much." Suho continued worriedly.

My smile faded slowly. Sulli... I was so focused on Luna that I almost forgot about the pain from my sister's death. I don't know if this was a good thing because I'm moving on or if this is a bad thing because of the wrong reason. Was it?

My internal questions must have reflected on my face because Suho added quickly,

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

I cleared my face and attempted a smile.

"It's okay. But to tell you the truth..."
"You can always tell me the truth."
"...Well, don't laugh okay? It's just that it was not Sulli who was bothering me."
"Then who?"

I studied Suho's serious face carefully before considering that he won't laught at me. I sighed.

"Luna."
"She's that woman on your sketchpad, right?"
"Yes."
"I thought you don't have a girlfriend?"
"I don't." I rounded my eyes in earnest. Suho waited for my explanation so I continued. "But I don't know what to call her because we kissed-"
"-So she's your fling" Suho cut in.
"-in my dreams." I ended.

Suho's jaw dropped. It took him seconds before he was able to gather himself and shake his ears.

"What?" he asked incredulously.
"We kissed in my dreams." I repeated. Okay, that sounded pathetic.

Suho blinked and pursed his lips. Like a good friend he was, he did not laugh. Or at least tried not to.

"Are you done holding your laugh?" I asked sarcastically.

Suho composed his face into what he assumed to be another serious expression but appeared taunting for me. He nodded his head at me.

"Go on."
"So this girl - Luna - kept on appearing in my dreams. It was more than a month actually. And I felt like I knew her for so long, and we're really close. We joked, we laughed, we shared stories, we -" I stopped and listened to myself. I was speaking like a besieged man who was obssessed on an imaginary woman.

Apparently, that was what Suho also thinks.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Suho turned back to his serious-motherly-concerned tone. 
"I am." I growled. I don't know why I was angry at Suho. Does he think I'm mad?
"Are you in love with this Luna? The one from your imagination?"

Your imagination. 

"Maybe I am." I snapped and walked away. I hate this feeling that I realized how no one will support my emotions but myself. To a stranger's eye, I was inlove with my own imagination. I was enclosed in my own mind. In other words, I'm crazy.

Another irony in my life: An aspiring neurologist who can't even treat himself.

"Luna." I started.
"Hmm?" she was too focused on the number of daffodils around her that she did not bother to look up.
"Do you believe in craziness?"

Luna tilted her head and put a finger under her chin.

"I think 'crazy' is just a state of choice." she answered after a while. "Like I can be crazy for today because I want to, then I can go back to normal the next day. Or, I can be permanently crazy because I want to escape my problems, or I can face those challenges until my mind says I'm crazy because of my actions. Do you get what I'm saying?"
"Yes." I smiled. "So if I say that I'm crazy because I'm falling for you even though I believe you're not real, then it was my choice to be crazy."

Luna blushed but she held my gaze.

"Funny, I believed I'm crazy because I'm falling for an imaginary man too."