Your POV

I was sitting down with a cup of my favourite hot caramel macchiato while I watch my man rehearsing on the stage. He saw me and wave towards me. I smiled and I was thankful to god for giving me someone like him. Someone who understand, love me and even protect me always but yet I felt I was deceiving him. I saw him getting down the stairs and was walking towards me with that happy smile of his.

“Mian! Aigoooo~~~ you waited for me so long right?” he patted my head and gave me a peck on my cheek.

“Ya~ and I’m tired~~” I shrug my shoulder and pout.

“I still have one last round to go... if you tired I can ask the manager to sent you home first...”

“Ani... It’s ok... I’ll wait... it’s not easy for me to meet you these day... so I intend to wait...” I held his hand and offered him my caramel macchiato.

“I’m on diet!” he whispered and chuckle.

“Ya right!” I rolled my eyes.

We sat and talk for a few minutes, telling me his schedule an explaining to me in details the stuff he did. I listen to him intently and smiling to myself. Looking at his face makes me felt peace and felt that I have been love by someone this special. It is unbelievable.

“Hello?” he wave his hand in front of my face trying to get my attention back.

“Hmm?”

“Is there something on my face?” he asked.

“Ya...”

“Huh? Where?”He touches his face.

“I just realised.... there is me in your eyes...” I let out a giggle.

“Yah! Yeobo... You just know?!” He cups both my cheek and brings my face closer to his.

“YAH! DAESUNG AHHH~~~” Someone shouted to him and both of us startled and it was such an embarrassing situation. I push his hand gently and told him to go.

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“Piggyback?” He offered.

“NO!! Not in front of these people....” I hit him gently on his arm as he burst out laughing

We walked hand in hand to the car park where his manager is waiting for us. We settle ourselves in the van and we went off. I was feeling weary and sleepy even though what I did was sitting and just watching him rehearsing but it seems like I have been running a mile. I lean closer to him, and gently place my heavy head on his shoulder.

“Hungry?” He asked me and I just shake my head. I have no appetite these days even though I have craving for some nice food, I could only eat at the most 2 spoonful and I vomit it all afterwards.

“Yeobo... You have not been eating well lately and you keep vomiting and having headaches... are you seriously not pregnant?” I knew I am not and all that symptoms that he saw was all due to my sickness.

“Oppa.. I am not pregnant.... I.. well.. Just not feeling well... it’s a normal viral thingy... don’t think too much ok? I have seen a doctor even before you asked me too... hmmm?” I explained to him hoping that he would not be worrying about me too much.  He looked at me and sighs.

“But still... how can I not worry? Look at you... looking so pale and...” I cut him off before he could continue; I put a finger on his lips and look at him smiling. He gave up.

I was home at last and was about to enter my room when Seungri called me over to the living room. He was sitting on the sofa looking very serious. I wonder what has happen to him. What I saw on the coffee table makes me speechless. I am dead I said in my head. I went over to him and sat down on the empty spot.

“What’s this?” He point to the stuff that lies on the table. I look at him blankly and I felt the chills at the back of my spine. I am afraid so afraid of him. What should I answer him? My mind just went blank, I tried to open my mouth but no sounds are able to escape. My hand starts to shake from being terrified. He turns and glares at me. “Answer me! Damn it!” He shouts and he pushes all the things that were on the table towards me harshly. I jolted and try to say something but he keeps on cutting me off. “Is this how you deceived me? And how long do you intend to make me a fool? Until the day you about to die?! How could you?!” He keeps on scornful me with his harsh remarks. I was totally feeling devastated. He did not even bother to hear my explanation and keep on reprimanding me.

“Stop! Stop it!!” I just could not bear it anymore. I shout and stood up even though I felt that my world is spinning around me and I could just collapse anytime, I have to stay strong and firm. I went over to him and face him. “Look here Seungri-ssi, stop with your harsh words and listen to my explanation.. I have no intention in deceiving you at all. The reason why I keep myself mum is I don’t want to burden you with my stupid illness that I myself wish not to have! Do you think I want this to happen to me? I want to be like normal people! Be healthy! And live a long life! You make it like I was to be blame for all this! Is that even fair for me? I love you Oppa! You never failed me and you have been a good brother to me.. That makes me harder to even tell you about this....!!” I weep in front of him.

The living room suddenly went silent and the only thing I could hear was my sobbing and Seungri’s sighing. I stood there frozen unable to move, I do not know what to do actually and I look like a fool standing and sobbing in front of him. Suddenly Seungri pull me close to his arm.

“I.... I’m sorry....” He hug me and let me just cry in his arms, he gently my hair and keep soothing me.

I do not know how long it took me to stop my crying. I think I passed out because the next thing I know I was on my bed and Seungri was sitting at the edge with his hands clasp together looking so grief. I know he worried now that he have found out about me.

“Ri.... “ my throat felt so dry and burning.

“No moving please... just rest...” he came over and pushes me gently so that I lie back on the bed. He covered me up with blanket.

“I’m sorry Ri...” I touch his hand.

“Don’t worry too much... I’m sorry I shouted at you... “

I felt so bad looking at Seungri like that; this is the reason why I preferred to keep it to myself. The moment someone knew they will feel the sorrow and felt pitiful towards me like I am going to die the next day.

“Ri.. stop being sad can you? It’s like.. I’m not going to die tomorrow you know? I still have time so could you please look at me and at the very least smile for me?”

“Give me time.... time to digest what I have heard from you just now... please?” He took away his hand from me and look away, it seems he do not want to have any eye contact with me.