Haneul pushed the door open with a great deal of effort, shoving hard to move the box that was blocking the door from the inside. “Yah, what is all this?” she demanded, gaping at all the papers and knick knacks scattered across the tiny floor of their dorm.

“Ah, sorry!” Risae jumped up at once and moved the heavy box from in front of the door so her roommate could come in.

Hanuel bent down and picked up a piece of paper from the top of the box, unfolding it. “What is all this?” she repeated, squinting at the chicken-scratch handwriting on the letter.

Risae quickly snatched it back. “Just some old stuff from Minseok. Things I kept even after we broke up.”

“Did you keep everything he ever gave you?” the elder asked in amused disbelief, looking at all of the things spread out across their room. It was like their dorm was suddenly the site for a massive swap meet. “This letter here is from three years ago. And is this picture from when you were still in school together?”

“Why would I throw any of this stuff out when we were still dating?” Risae demanded, snatching both the letter and the photograph from her best friend. 

Haneul picked her way through the mess and flopped down on her bed. “So what are you doing with all of this stuff now?”

Risae sighed, dropping the letter and photograph back into one of the boxes. “Well I was going through it thinking that it would help me get over Minseok if I went ahead and threw it all out, but I can’t. I can’t throw it away.”

“Not even this?” Haneul teased, picking up a teddy bear in the brightest shade of pink holding a tacky heart sign.

“No, not even that,” Risae chuckled. “That was the first gift Minseok ever gave me, you know. Back before we started dating. We’d only been hanging out for a few months and we went to a carnival together because a band we both really liked was going to be performing there. He saw how envious I was of all the girls there having their boyfriends win prizes for them, so Minseok won one for me even though we weren’t even dating.” She picked up the teddy bear with a sad sort of smile.

“That’s it,” Haneul said. “I know I’ve made you talk to him a billion times before, but go talk to him again. The fact that you can’t throw any of this stuff out – even this tacky stuffed bear – obviously says something important. So go talk to him.”

Risae sighed and set the bear aside. “We’ve already said all there is to say,” she pointed out. “Talking with him again isn’t going to make things any better. It’s just going to make things worse.”

“Then start over with him,” Haneul suggested. “Pretend like you’re meeting him for the first time. Forget everything about the past and begin a new relationship.”

Risae stared at her. “It’s not that easy, unnie.”

“Sure it is,” Hanuel insisted. “So go talk to him. Yixing just texted me so I know they’re back at the dorms now.”

Risae dragged her feet as she tread the familiar path between her dorm and that of Minseok’s bandmates. She didn’t know why she’d agreed to go so easily; she wasn’t sure why she’d agreed to go at all. Hadn’t she tried this time and time before? Her grandmother had always said it was stupid to repeat the same mistake and expect different results. She must be a real idiot, because she soon found herself standing in front of their door.

Just knock, she told herself. All she had to do was raise her hand and knock. But her hands stayed firmly shoved into the pockets of her jacket, unwilling to move.

She should turn around and go back home. There was nothing to say that hadn’t already been said a billion times. It was only going to hurt both of them further to have to this conversation again.

On the other hand, Haneul sort of had a point. She wouldn’t be here if she’d been able to just throw away all those mementos she’d saved over the past several years. She wouldn’t be here if she was actually over Minseok.

The door opened before she’d made up her mind whether to knock or not, and she found herself face-to-face with Jongdae, whose expression of surprise mirrored her own.

“Noona?” he said in some surprise – Risae showing up on their doorstep was probably the last thing any of them had expected, Risae included. “What are you doing here?”

She took a deep breath. Now was her chance to run. But instead she said, “I’d like to speak to Minseok. Please.”

Jongdae stared at her for a long moment – not that she could really blame him – and then he nodded and stepped aside so she could come in. “Uh, sure. He’s in his room. But knock first, since he shares it with Yixing and Zitao.”

She nodded and brushed past him, but Jongdae followed her down the short hallway anyway, as if he didn’t want to miss any of what was sure to be good drama.

Risae stopped just outside the door. She of course knew which room was Minseok’s. She’s stayed over many times, much to the manager’s chagrin. Yixing and Zitao hadn’t minded her visits, though, so she’d always been a welcome visitor. It was much easier for her to come here than for him to come to her. The door was cracked, and she could just make out the familiar voices beyond.

Luhan was talking. “That Jimin girl called again. That’s like five times just today. Dude, you’ve gotta do something about her.”

Risae could just see Minseok through the crack in the door. He was sitting on the floor, back against the bed, knees drawn up and his head hanging. “Ugh, I can’t even think that name without wanting to ing kill myself. I already told manager-hyung to change my number. He should have a new phone for me by tomorrow so she can’t come after me anymore.”

“She’s certainly persistent.” That was Yixing, a hint of amusement and annoyance in his voice.

“She’s a ing crazy is what she is,” Minseok grumbled, running his hands wearily through his hair.

Luhan cocked his head to the side. “So why did you sleep with her in the first place?”

“Especially when you had Risae-noona,” Zitao added, sounding a bit accusatory. It was no secret that he’d had a little crush on Risae since they’d first met, and he had been her biggest fan.

“I don’t know,” Minseok groaned, letting his head roll back to rest against the bed, eyes closed. “Because I’m an idiot?” He sighed. “Risae and I went to high school with Jimin. She was a year older than me and she was the most popular girl in school at the time. Everyone had a crush on her. Everyone. Just getting a chance to talk to Jimin meant that you were really something. She never even looked twice at a boring little nobody like me.

“When I ran into her after we were told we were going to debut and she actually looked at me instead of through me, I felt like for the first time in my life I was really somebody worth looking at,” Minseok continued. “The Song Jimin wanted to talk to me, to hang out with me, to date me. It was ego-boosting. I didn’t feel like a nobody anymore.”

Yixing slapped him upside the head – hard enough that, out in the hallway, Risae flinched. “You’re such an idiot,” he snapped, and it was one of the first times she had ever heard him say anything that wasn’t kind. “Risae never thought you were a nobody. She was always there for you.”

Minseok glared at him, rubbing the back of his head. “You think I don’t know that? I know that better than anyone, you jackass.”

Yixing hit him again. “Don’t call me a jackass when you’re the one being a jackass. You jackass.”

Minseok sighed and let his head hang down between his knees again. “I know, I’m sorry. I just…I don’t know what to do anymore. Risae was the best thing in my life. She was the only good thing in my life.”

Luhan kicked him playfully with his foot. “Thanks a lot. What are we? Chopped liver?”

Minseok only sighed again. “I wouldn’t even know any of you if it weren’t for Risae. She’s the reason I had the courage to audition for that contest. She’s the reason I didn’t go insane during those years of training. She’s the only reason I have any confidence in myself at all. And I threw it away for something stupid.”

Another sigh. “I don’t blame her for hating me. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she never forgave me. What I did was unforgivable. I literally just threw away the only thing in the entire world that ever really made me happy. And what’s worse, I hurt her so badly. It’s one thing for me to hurt – god knows I deserve it – but how could I hurt her like that?”

Risae couldn’t stay silent any longer. She pushed the door open all the way. “Do you mean that?” she asked, voice trembling. “That I’m really the only thing that ever made you happy?”

Minseok’s head whipped up and he stared at her for a long moment, as if he couldn’t believe that she was there.

“I asked if that was true,” she said, a little impatiently.

He quickly scrambled to his feet, wiping sweaty palms on his baggy sweatpants. “Y-yes,” he stammered, voice cracking. His eyes were wide, uncertain. His face was very pale. “I-I’m nothing without you.”

“And you understand how much you hurt me and how I can’t possibly trust you again?” she pressed.

Minseok hung his head. “Yeah, I understand.”

Risae took a deep breath. “Okay then.”

“Okay then?” he repeated, hardly daring to look up at her.

She sighed again. “I went through all the things I’ve collected from you since we first became friends, ticket stubs and notes and photographs and things. I was going to throw everything away. But…I couldn’t. Haneul said I couldn’t throw them away because I’m not over you.”

He stared at her with wide eyes. “So what does that mean?”

Risae sighed, then looked pointedly around the room at the boys still gathered there. “A little privacy?” she suggested archly.

They took the not-so-subtle hint and scurried out of the room, shutting the door behind them even though Risae knew they would all be listening on the other side. She was left alone in the room with Minseok.

“You know I can’t trust you right now,” she told him. “I don’t know that I’m ever really going to trust you again. You were the one person in the entire world that I was sure would always have my back, but you betrayed me. I feel like there’s nothing that makes sense any more.”

“I know, I-” he began, but she held up her hand to cut him off.

“I want you to get tested for any diseases,” she said.

He nodded. “Anything you want, Risae.”

“I also want you to completely cut off all contact with her,” she continued. “I don’t want you talking to her on the phone or on the internet, or even exchanging text messages. If you happen to pass each other in the streets, I want you to look past her like she doesn’t even exist.”

Again, Minseok nodded. “That won’t be a problem. I’m already having my manager change my number so she can’t contact me any more. And I haven’t spoken to her at all since…well, since that day. I haven’t returned any of her calls or anything, and she’s blocked on all my social media pages.” He hesitated. “What does this mean?”

Risae brushed her hair behind her ear and gave him a level look. “It means that I’m giving you a second chance. But you better believe that this is the last chance you will ever get from me. And I don’t ever want to hear you pull the suspicious, overbearing girlfriend card, because after this I have every right to be suspicious. Do you hear that?” she demanded, raising her voice so that the boys gathered on the other side of the door could hear her. From the sound of the scuffle outside, it seemed like others had joined Yixing, Luhan, Zitao, and Chen in the hallway. “If I call any one of you and ask what Minseok has been doing, you better tell me the truth or I will hunt you down and kick your asses. All of you.”

Another scuffle, and then what sounded like Zitao saying, “Yes ma’am.”

Risae turned back to Minseok. “Do you understand, Kim Minseok? This is the last chance you will ever get from me.”

There were tears gathering in the corners of his eyes as he closed the distance between them and took her hands. “It’s the last chance I’m ever going to need,” he promised, and then he was kissing her.

Risae would be lying if she said she hadn’t missed it. 

Okay, sorry for the long wait. Things have been so hectic since I moved to Korea that I haven't had much time for anything. Anyway, this is the end. It feels maybe a little bit rushed to me, but at the same time sort of drawn out. I think this story could've used less chapters, or maybe more focus on my part. Anyway, I still like it so I hope you guys do too. Minseok is one of my biggest biases and I hate that there's so few stories out there about him. I've got another one in the works now that'll be much longer than this, but who knows when it'll get posted OTL

Anyway, thanks for reading! <333