Despite her promise to Minseok, Haneul knew that Risae would never agree to meet with him in her current state. So instead, she focused her time and energy on convincing her best friend to start attending rehearsals again. It was only after a solid two hours the next morning of Haneul ranting about how important rehearsals were in regards to debuting and even remaining in the company that Risae reluctantly agreed to go that day.

So they left their dorm together and made the familiar trek to the SM building arm-in-arm, the way they had when they’d first become trainees. Risae hadn’t really wanted to go, but she figured that, if nothing else, the hectic training schedule would at least keep her mind occupied. It would at least keep her from curling up in a ball and bawling her eyes out for the third day in a row.

“I’m going to run down to that yummy café down the street and grab something to eat,” Haneul announced when they took their lunch break. “Do you want me to get you anything?”

Risae shook her head, sliding to a seated position against the wall in the basement level hallway. “No, I’m okay. Thanks, though.”

Haneul looked a bit skeptical – Risae really hadn’t been eating enough, after all – but she only ran her fingers gently through Risae’s loose hair before heading up the stairs, out of her roommate’s line of sight.

Risae sighed and let her forehead rest against her knees. She was utterly exhausted. Morning rehearsals had really taken it out of her, especially since she hadn’t been eating or sleeping much. But her physical pain was nothing compared to the ache in her heart. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and willed away the many thoughts of him.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been sitting there when an achingly familiar voice dragged her from the depths of her crippling thoughts. “R-risae?”

Risae jerked her head up so fast that her vision blurred – or maybe that was from the tears stinging her eyes. There he was, standing at the end of the hallway in clothes that Risae recognized because she’d ing bought them for him. He stared at her like she was a mirage that would disappear.

Utter panic welled up in her chest immediately. Risae couldn’t handle seeing him. Not right now. She scrambled to her feet frantically, snatching her bag and dashing down the corridor away from him. He was faster than she, though, catching up easily and grabbing her wrist, forcing her to stop. “Risae, please,” he begged, his fingers tight around her fragile wrist. “Please just talk to me!”

“Let go!” she screamed, fighting against him as fiercely as she could. “Don’t ing touch me! You have no right to touch me!”

Minseok was so surprised by her outburst that he released her immediately. She stumbled back a few steps, managing to find her balance before she fell. Shooting him a look that was both disgusted and hurt, she slung her bag over her shoulder and fled.

She was still crying when Haneul finally found her in the women’s restroom half an hour later, carrying a chocolate chip cookie that she’d bought in hopes of cheering her best friend up. “Ri-yah? What the hell happened?” she demanded, kneeling beside her sobbing roommate.

“I-I ran into h-him,” Risae hiccoughed, wiping at her face furiously.

Haneul cursed under her breath. “What happened? What did he do? What did he say?”

“Nothing,” Risae admitted. “I didn’t let him say anything. I-I just can’t deal with him. What was I supposed to say? ‘Oh, I wasted five ing years of my life on you while you went and screwed some that we knew back in high school but that’s okay. We can still be friends.’” The bitter tone in her voice was unmistakable.

Haneul sighed and sat down on the floor beside the younger girl, putting an arm around her shoulders. “It’s going to be alright, Risae. I promise. I know that it hurts now and that it’s going to take a while, but there might even come a day when you can look at him without wanting to castrate him.”

Someone came into the restroom then, and they both looked up at the sound. Risae cursed and frantically wiped the tears from her cheeks. Even so, it was evident that she’d been crying. Her face was red and blotchy, and her eyes were swollen and bloodshot.

“Don’t you know that this is the women’s restroom?” Haneul snapped. “What do you want?”

The boy, Luhan, sighed heavily. He had been one of the first friends Minseok had made when he’d entered SM as a trainee, and Risae had been friends with him almost as long because of that. “Can I talk to you for a second, Risae-yah? Alone?” He gave Haneul a pointed look.

Even though he was one of Minseok’s best friends, Risae was still pretty fond of him and liked Luhan. He was one of the few Chinese trainees at SM and he’d always been well-mannered and soft-spoken. He was always the one to talk sense into Minseok when Risae couldn’t. The fact that he’d always seemed so genuine more than anything made her get unsteadily to her feet.

Haneul grabbed her hand, shooting her an anxious look. “Are you sure?” she whispered. “You don’t have to.”

Risae nodded without a word, then followed Luhan out of the restroom and around the corner. He didn’t speak until they were out of earshot from Haneul, who was waiting just outside the restroom for them. Then he turned and gave her a sad look. “Are you alright, Risae-yah?”

She gave him a blank look. “What do you think?”

He sighed again. “I know you’re upset, and you have every right to be. But he’s just as heartbroken as you are.”

Risae didn’t have much of a temper, but her anger flared at this heartless comment. “He’s just as heartbroken as I am? Really? Really, oppa? Is he the one who walked in on his significant other screwing some who wouldn’t even give him the time of day back in high school but all of a sudden wants to be with him now that he’s debuting? Do you really think you can compare our situations?”

Luhan pulled her in for a hug, mostly to calm her down and shut her up. She fisted the material of his shirt in her sweaty hands for a long minute, taking deep breaths, her face pressed into his shoulder. They stood that way for a while, long enough for Risae to calm down and quit yelling.

“I know that it’s not fair,” he whispered, still holding her close. “And I’m by no means making excuses for him. He messed up royally and we all know it. But it was only once. Can’t you find it somewhere in your heart to forgive him?”

“If that’s what you wanted to talk to me about, then you can just go ahead and leave,” Risae said flatly, pushing away. “I stuck with him through thick and thin for five years, oppa. If he can throw that away so easily, so can I.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, Luhan’s expression sad and Risae’s defiant through her tears. Finally she sighed. “I’ve got to go back to rehearsal.” He didn’t stop her.