Risae’s grandmother had been a real character. Though she’d died when Risae was in her first year of middle school, Risae had grown up hearing her grandmother’s wisdom – or nonsense, as her mother would fondly say – every day. Never eat slippery foods before an exam, she would say. Don’t trim your fingernails at night. Never give shoes as a gift to your lover.

But Risae’s halmeoni was most adamant about the number seven. Seven was an important number, she used to say whenever she got the chance. The seventh event in a cycle is always the most important. Important things happen in sevens. Seven, seven, seven.

Though she’d always politely laughed and brushed the superstition off as the ramblings of a senile old lady, somehow the lesson had stuck. For the rest of her life, Risae counted events by seven. And she somehow knew that the seventh event in a cycle would be the most important, the most pivotal.

The first event that Risae began counting at was when she was fourteen and her family moved from Suncheon to Seoul. It wasn’t long after Risae’s grandmother had died, and her father, who worked as a computer programmer, was offered a position at a bigger company up north. So, even though it was a huge change for the Park family, they packed up their entire lives and moved to the bustling city of Seoul.

Risae, who had always been good at adapting, flourished in her new city. She loved their bigger apartment. She loved how much there was to do around town. And she loved her new school. Risae was intelligent, good-looking, and kind. She had no problem fitting in and making new friends, despite bringing with her a small-town aura and mentality.

It was through these new friends that the second pivotal event in Risae’s life occurred. She’d been in Seoul for a year, and was just starting her third year of middle school. She’d joined the music club at her school – she’d had a love and passion for music her entire life – and it was there that one of her friends introduced her to Kim Minseok.

Minseok was by no means the most good-looking boy at school. In fact, he was rather moon-faced, cute in a familial sort of way. And though he was talented, so were many other people at their schools. In no way should he have stood out to Risae. But he did.

Minseok was one year her senior, a first year in the affiliated high school. They should never have gotten to be friends. But despite him being shy and self-conscious and a little introverted, the two got along right away. Their friendship was casual at first, but then Minseok happened to invite her out for coffee after the club meeting one afternoon, and that was when they had discovered that they shared a mutual dream: to become famous and use their talents to change the international music industry. They had laughed sheepishly as they sipped at their coffees, but something so simple had created a bond that ran deeper than either of them had imagined.

After that, it became a sort of joke between the two of them. Whenever they would get a poor mark on a test or their voices would come out flat, they would simply look at one another and smile and silently agree to press on for their mutual dream. They started spending less and less time with their other friends and more and more time with each other.

“Why do you hang out with Minseok-oppa so much?” Risae’s friends would ask her in disdain. “You’re not dating him, are you? You could do so much better, you know. Yejun-ssi likes you, and he’s super cute! You should hang out with him instead!”

To which Risae would blush cutely and tuck her long hair behind her ear. “No, oppa and I aren’t dating,” she would say. “We’re just very good friends.”

She would blush as she said it because, deep down, she knew that she wanted to take their friendship to a more intimate level. She wasn’t exactly sure when those platonic feelings had progressed to something more, but she was a self-aware girl and she knew that there was a reason her heart would flutter in her chest whenever he touched her hand or leaned in close to whisper something in her ear, why her palms would get all sweaty as they sat in a tangle of arms and legs on his bed while rehearsing one of the songs they’d composed together, why her mind would go achingly blank when he would turn those soulful brown eyes on her.

Risae should have been overflowing with confidence. She was intelligent, talented, beautiful, and well-liked by all. These were compliments she received on a regular basis, told so many times that it should’ve been ingrained in her brain. She should have been able to confidently tell Minseok how she felt, especially considering their close friendship, and expect him to, if not reciprocate her feelings, at least appreciate them.

But of course confidence didn’t work like that. So Risae said nothing, nursing her crush in secret. She cherished those moments she spent with Minseok, and, as they grew older, she began to spend her time almost exclusively with him.

They only lived a few stops apart on the blue line, so they would meet at the station in the morning and take the metro to school together, their heads bent close as they had private conversations on the crowded train. They would part for lessons and meet again during the lunch hour, always eating under the same tree in the courtyard if the weather was nice. And, after the final bell rang and all club activities had been attended to, they would ride the same train back to Minseok’s apartment, since his parents worked late more often than not. There, Risae would fix them dinner and they would do their homework or watch television or practice their vocals, but mostly they would talk.

Even back in her hometown, back in Suncheon, Risae had never considered anyone her best friend. She’d had plenty of friends, of course, but none so close that she had no secrets from them. Minseok showed her that she needed just that type of friend, that friend that she could spill all of her deepest, darkest thoughts to, a friend that would be there for her no matter what and not judge. Minseok filled the empty spot in her heart that she hadn’t even known existed.

The two years they spent together at the same school flew by in the blink of an eye for Risae, and all too quickly, before she knew what was happening, before she could wrap her mind around the concept that he might be gone from her forever, Minseok graduated high school.

“What will you do now?” Risae had asked on the eve of his graduation, long after relatives had gone home and her parents had gone to bed. He’d sneaked in through her window – which she always left open for him – well past midnight. He had lain on her bed, his head resting in her lap as she’d played absently with his hair.

He’d shrugged. “I don’t know. Prepare for entrance exams for university, I suppose. The Korean National University of Arts has a good music program.”

“But you’ll keep going after your dream, right?” she had asked earnestly, her fingers threading themselves through his too-long hair. It was somehow very important to her that he continue on the path they’d discussed for so long; he was her role model, after all.

He’d smiled up at her from heavy-lidded eyes, causing her heart to skip several beats. “Of course I will, Sae-yah. I’ll keep at it as long as I’m able.”

The sense of relief that overwhelmed her at that moment was so strong that she’d almost leaned down and kissed him, but she’d stopped herself at the very last second, still too unsure of herself to make that vital transition from platonic to something more. So she’d laughed happily and brushed her fingers ever-so-gently across his forehead, and he’d closed his eyes and before long he’d fallen asleep and she hadn’t the heart to wake him so she’d let him sleep in bed with her, though sleep was the farthest thing from her mind.

And a few days later, Minseok had been gone. Risae was feeling more alone than ever before, lost and forlorn and utterly hopeless. She lived for the phone calls Minseok gave her every evening, rushing home from school and waiting by the phone for the inevitable call.

She was waiting for the usual phone call one evening when Minseok surprised her by bursting through her bedroom door. She’d squealed in surprise and nearly fallen out of her chair. “Yah, don’t do that, you-!” She’d stopped suddenly, seeing how his round face was arranged in the broadest of grins. “What on earth is going on, oppa?”

He’d grabbed her hands and shaken them with so much excitement that she’d nearly fallen down. “I did it, Risae! Oh my god, I actually did it!”

“Did what?” she’d demanded hysterically.

“I signed up for the Everysing Contest!” Minseok was panting, eyes wide and face red as if he still couldn’t believe he’d actually done it. “You know, that big competition hosted by SM Entertainment!”

“Of course I knew what it is,” Risae had said, her heart swelling with pride. “I’m so happy for you, oppa! You’ll do wonderful! I know you will!”

This was a big step for Minseok, and they both knew it. Though they’d participated in several contests and competitions before, sometimes together and sometimes solo, neither of them had competed in anything on this level before. SM Entertainment was the largest entertainment conglomeration in Korea. To participate in one of their competitions was like getting your foot halfway through the door of stardom.

They hadn’t long to prepare, but for the next month Minseok and Risae did nothing but rehearse. Risae would meet Minseok before classes in the morning and they would only part so she could go to school. As soon as the final bell would ring, she’d be back with him, rehearsing more. Sometimes they even spent the night together for the sake of more practice.

Minseok’s parents hadn’t understood. They’d always thought that his dream of becoming an idol was silly and far-fetched; they’d wanted him to attend university and get a stable job where he could support himself and a family. During this time of harried rehearsal, Risae became the foundation on which Minseok built his faith in himself.

They would lay awake late at night, crammed onto his tiny bed together, his arm wrapped around her waist comfortably, and in the dark of the night he would confess his fears to her: his fears of not being good enough, of not singing well, of not having the right look for being an idol or a star. Risae would listen to him, skillfully murmuring appropriate words of consolation and praise at just the right moments so that he was able to drift off into the sleep of the utterly exhausted. Only then would she allow herself to doze as well, feeling his warm arms around her, listening to his steady breaths.

The Everysing Contest had come upon them quickly, too quickly for them to be fully prepared. Minseok had done well, as Risae had known he would. She’d felt such bitter disappointment when he didn’t win first place, but second was nearly as good in something like this. He’d been hugging her excitedly when a representative from SM Entertainment had approached them and broached the sensitive subject of him becoming a trainee with their company.

Everything after that had been a whirlwind for Risae, her emotions ranging from one extreme to the next in a matter of seconds. She was happy for her friend, so genuinely happy that he was well on his way to living his dream – their dream. She who knew him better than anyone saw how his confidence increased a hundredfold as people who had never taken any interest in him before suddenly wanted to be friends and hang out with him. But the thought of him moving into the SM dorms, far enough away from her that she wouldn’t be able to see him very often, had caused her to cry herself to sleep almost every night leading up to his departure.

“Don’t worry, Sae-yah,” he’d told her the day he left home to move into the dorms. “I’ll message you often, and we’ll still talk on the phone.”

She’d tried to bite back the sniffles, not wanting anything to deter him from chasing this dream. “I know,” she’d said, trying to sound brave and sure of herself. “I want to know all the details about life as an SM trainee. I’ll be joining you there soon enough, after all.”

He’d grinned, chucking her under the chin in a brotherly manner. “You’d better.”

With Minseok gone, Risae had thrown herself into her art with the enthusiasm of the desperate. She’d picked up extra classes, signed up for private lessons, and attended every open audition SM held. And every evening she would call Minseok on the phone, never letting him know just how thoroughly she was exhausting herself in her efforts to join him.

And then all her hard work finally paid off, the fourth critical turning point in Risae’s life. It was halfway through her senior year of high school, when she’d been pushing and pushing herself for six months already. She’d auditioned for SM Entertainment for the fifth time and someone finally, finally, took notice of her.

“How would you like to come train at our company?” the representative had asked. “We have a contract you can take home to look over with your parents.”

Risae’s parents were of a rare breed, more than supportive of their daughter’s wild dreams of becoming a world-famous singer. When she came home with the SM contract, the Parks were overcome with happiness. And, after several meetings with SM representatives, the contract was signed and Risae was officially a trainee with SM Entertainment.

She had moved into the SM dorms not long after. Her parents had dropped her off with all her belongings, leaving her to get settled in and to get acquainted with her new roommate, Haneul. She’d been practically bursting with excitement and her heart had trembled in anticipation when she’d received a simple text message from Minseok: Are you here yet?

Her numb fingers had typed out a clumsy reply: Yes. Room 23.

The next thing she’d known, there had been a loud pounding on the bedroom door and, when she’d yanked it open, there was Minseok, grinning that familiar grin, his moon-shaped face flushed with excitement and something more. “It’s about damn time!” he’d exclaimed. “We’re finally trainees together!” And then he’d captured her in his arms and pressed his lips to hers with three and a half years’ worth of unspoken feelings.

Though later Risae could never quite recall how everything had happened, she did remember that her knees had nearly given out in shock and Minseok had caught her, laughing easily as he sat her down on the edge of the bed. She’d blushed and stammered and asked a lot of questions, and Minseok had kissed her again and again and somehow they ended up dating.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he would whisper when no one was looking, in deserted hallways of the SM building or in corners of the basement level practice room where they would work on their dance moves together until the wee hours of the morning. He would press his soft lips to her forehead, her temple, her cheek, her neck, and finally her lips, leaving her reeling and breathless, his heady scent overwhelming.

Risae considered the day she slept with Minseok for the first time as the fifth crucial moment. Incidentally, it was also the day she’d come to the realization that she was madly, desperately in love with him.

Though it was the first time for both of them, it was neither awkward nor uncomfortable. They had taken their time with each other, exploring with eager hands and lips and tongues, all tender caresses and sweet nothings whispered in ears. And when Minseok had finally, finally, pushed himself inside her, it was as if they were two puzzle pieces constructed for the sole purpose of fitting together so perfectly. They had moved as one, sharing that first time with no one but each other, learning, tasting, memorizing.

The next year was one of the best and most blissful in Risae’s short life. For the first few months she had to balance school and training, always exhausted yet always making sure she had time for Minseok. After graduating from high school with honors, she’d thrown herself into her training with even more gusto, determined to be the best at singing, dancing, and composing.

As her dedication to her work grew more and more, so did her devotion to her lover. Minseok was her everything; if she wasn’t singing or dancing or attending rehearsals, she was with her boyfriend. They would alternate spending the night in each other’s dorm rooms, giving their amusedly-exasperated roommates a break every other night. Spending time apart was simply not a possibility. Risae was rapturously content. She was doing what she loved most with the person she loved most, and life couldn’t have gotten any better for her.

She’d been a trainee for about a year when the sixth pivotal moment in her life took place. She’d returned to her dorm late one evening after a long dance rehearsal only to find Minseok waiting for her, sitting stiffly on the edge of her bed with his hands fidgeting in his lap. This hadn’t exactly been something new. Minseok had a key to her room and made use of it often, so she wasn’t surprised to see him waiting for her.

“Hey, oppa,” she’d smiled, closing the door behind her and tossing her bag down. Then she’d caught sight of his strangely blank, emotionless expression and worry clouded her heart immediately. “Oppa? Minseok? What’s wrong?” She’d knelt in front of him, taking his hands in her own.

Minseok had looked up at her, his eyes wide and shining with wonder. “Risae,” he’d said, and the catch in his throat was painful. “I-I’m debuting.”

“What?”

He’d started to cry then, head bowed and shoulders shaking. “I’m debuting, Risae! I’m debuting with SM! I’m really going to be an idol!”

Risae had started to cry too, tears of joy and pride rolling down her cheeks as she’d embraced her boyfriend with all the love she had. “Oh my god, Minseok! That’s wonderful! That’s amazing! I’m so, so proud of you!”

He’d grabbed her and pulled her down onto the bed then, smothering her with passionate kisses even as fresh tears trailed down his pale cheeks. It was, she would later remember, the best of her life. Victory . They were celebrating a dream they had shared for five years, and never had Risae felt as triumphant as she did in that moment.

Things had gotten hectic after that, as she’d known they would. Minseok was transferred from the regular trainee dorm to his official dorm, the dorm he shared with eleven other guys who were debuting in the same group. With new, stricter rules and more involved time management, this meant that Minseok and Risae were no longer able to spend the night together, and Risae had to get used to falling asleep on her own again.

Minseok’s training schedule also became more full, leaving less and less time for them to see one another. Risae tolerated this with a smile; knowing that he was achieving his dream was enough for her. And every night, no matter how exhausted she was, she would call him. Even if neither had anything important to say, she would still phone.

And her grandmother’s words rang loud and clear in her head. The seventh event in a cycle of seven was always the most important. She looked forward to it eagerly, though she’d forever deny believing in the superstition if anyone asked.

And then the seventh moment happened, the most crucial of moments. And it was that moment that broke her. 

Here's the first chapter. A little backstory. 

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