Chapter 3 – Defining Awkward

Tao

   ‘I want to become a singer’

I smiled at the thought. He looks like the kind to want to dream big. I mused for a second. ‘How are you planning on doing that?’ I smiled teasingly at him.

   ‘Well…’ he started. ‘I found out that SMA is taking audition so I’m going to try my luck through that.’ He was sat across from me fiddling with his fingers as both his food and drink were finished.

   ‘And what if you don’t get in?’

   ‘I’ll give them my best puppy eyes until they accept me.’ he smiled. His smiling was contagious. I didn’t want to break the mood but I had to ask, ‘seriously though, what if they don’t. Then what are you going to do?’ He just shrugged, looking down at those glorious fingers.

   ‘I guess I could always become a hand model.’ He joked quietly, showing me and his hands. His hands then lightly balled up and I could tell he was unstable about this choice of topic.

   ‘Do you have a back-up plan? School, work, and where are you going to stay?’ He slowly shook his head. ‘Okay. First off’ I stood up, ready to pull him up onto his feet too. ‘You can stay with me. I know it’s impulsive but you looked like a lost puppy just an hour or so ago and I…’ I struggled to get him up on his feet as he was being stubborn, but with my strength I got him up easily; not to mention he was very light. ‘I want to take you in.’ I continued. ‘Obviously I don’t want to keep you as my pet, though I would expect you to clean up whatever mess you make. We clear?’ I asked him. ‘Oh, I think you should also get a job if you stay here. We can split the rent, shopping costs and the electricity and water bills…’ I stopped before I got ahead of myself. ‘At least until you get a stable job and can afford an accommodation at the university.’

   ‘I- I couldn’t impose on you like that. I mean isn’t it hard enough looking after one person; and I’m not the easiest of people to be taking care of…I can barely look after myself…’ he started rambling on about why I shouldn’t take him in.  

   ‘Even more reason to take you in. I could easily take care of you. I know all the basics; trust me you’re in good hands.’

   ‘But I…’

    ‘That could take a while you know…’ I interrupted his thoughts.

    ‘But…’

    ‘Stop, you’re staying with me and that’s final.’

He finally gave in to me and let his posture drop, as if all the weight was falling off. I’m glad I can help him out.

    ‘Thank you’ he sighed. I smiled and started to pile everything on the table up, ready to be taken away to the sink. Before I was able to grab the load though Baekhyun pulled lightly on my sleeve; he looked slightly embarrassed, which was cute, but what he did next was cuter. ‘Thank you’ he said again and then hid half of his face. ‘I mean it; you’ve helped me out a lot today. Honestly, I had no idea what I was doing or what I was going to do, so thank you.’ Even though most of his face was hidden now I could still see how red he was. I was going to reply but I could tell he really wanted to get out of this situation because as soon as I opened my mouth he was ready to move. Instead of gracefully stepping aside, he managed to trip over the table. Luckily I caught him before he could fall much further but our proximity was way too close and personal for either of our liking. His face was ten shades redder than it had already been from his confession and a little puppy yelp came out of his mouth. His eyes stared into mine in pure embarrassed before squeezing them shut altogether. I gasped once I noted our situation and helped him up and let him stumble away from me. ‘Sorry.’ I blushed quietly. I can tell that him staying here will be eventful.

Baekhyun was quiet for a little while after dinner. We started to put away our plates, leftovers and utensils in silence.

   ‘I’ll finish this up.’ Baekhyun told me and then he staggered off as if he was scared to be alone with me. We were just standing side by side, me washing the dishes and him towel drying them. I didn’t see anything wrong with it but he must have felt uncomfortable. He hasn’t looked at me properly since then. I dried my hands and checked the time on my phone. Letting him finish up I left him and went into my bedroom to find him something to sleep in. It was a hard task finding him something to wear because he’s much shorter than me and probably much thinner too. Not saying that I’m not thin myself but the muscles make my frame slightly bigger. Anyway, they’ll just have to loosely hang off of him. I picked out some of my older tracksuit bottoms with the adjustable string for him, hoping it would be more appropriate for him then some of my other clothes. Though with how tight my skinny jeans are they’d probably fit him well enough; but then who really wants to sleep in skinny jeans? I pulled out the preceding clothing and took them to my latest house guest. He really is one of the cute ones. I stood behind him, waiting for him to finish what he intended. I felt him physically jump at my presence, his body tensing.

   ‘Sorry,’ I apologized.

   ‘It’s nothing, you just scared me is all.’ He smiled awkwardly. ‘I guess I’m still a bit shaken up about the earlier activities.’ 

   ‘Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you and I’ll make sure your safe.’ I smiled reassuringly at him.

   ‘Thanks,’ he smiled awkwardly, rubbing his neck.

   ‘Okay, you can sleep on the couch if you want…I mean, it looks old and beaten up but honestly this thing is really comfortable, trust me…’ I’ve had more than enough good sleeps on it, especially if I come in drunk and knock out on to it, though I probably shouldn’t tell him that though I fought a cheeky grin and waited for his answer.

   ‘Yeah, I’ll just take the couch. I don’t want to bother you too much, you don’t have to worry about me.’ he assured.

   ‘It’s no worry I promise.’ I smiled at him again, warmly enough so that he’d believe me. ‘And it’s nice to have someone around other than being alone. I mean, I usually have my friend Kris around bugging my off, but you’re a nice change from his arrogant attitude.’ I scoffed. ‘He thinks he’s better than everyone…’ I started mumbling.

   ‘Okaayy…’ Baekhyun interrupted. ‘I guess…’ he paused. ‘Goodnight then.’ He gives a small smile and stands there awkwardly, gaze on the floor. Seeing that he was still holding the clothes I gave him I pointed him in the direction of the bathroom. ‘My bedroom is there too just in case you need anything. Don’t be afraid to just come in okay?’ I told him as I started to head towards said room. 

Ruffle…rustles…I groaned as I ignored the movement on my bed, too lost in slumber to care. My sleeping position disturbed, I swung my arm around one of the pillows on my bed, hoping to find a comfortable enough position to sleep in. However, my arm didn’t land on the soft plushness of my pillow, but rather something bony and warm. My brain suddenly recognised it to be a body. It can’t be him, this person is too small…I opened my eyes to solve the mystery. My eyes landed upon fine collar bones. It was still dark inside but my mind could clearly function, telling me it’s not who I thought it was. Realising who it was I jumped out of my skin, the body next to me doing the same, nearly falling out of the small bed. He shrieked, and before falling I caught him by his shoulders. Sitting up and getting a better look at him I couldn’t help but realise how cute and small he looked; as if he was a little kid going into his parents’ bedroom after a nightmare or something. ‘Baek…’ I started.

   ‘Sorry for startling you. Also, I didn’t mean to end up in your bed, I… came in and you kind of just…er…grabbed me.’ he shrugged lightly. 

   ‘Sorry.’ I rubbed my eyes with my free hand. ‘Is there anything I can do for you?’

   ‘You could let go of me…’ He chuckled nervously. Realising what he meant, my arm flew off him instantly.

   ‘Seriously though…’ he looked nervous for a second.

   ‘I…’ he started, looking down at the blankets. ‘I can’t…sleep.’ He scratched the back of his head.

   ‘Oh…’ I stared at him, sleep still taking up my mind. He looked hopeful. Realising what he meant I lifted the blanket off of me to make room for him. ‘You can sleep in my bed if you want.’ He smiled cutely. I couldn’t resist myself; I found my hand lifting up to his head and ruffled the soft brown hair on his head as if he was a puppy. He looked up at me, confusion evident on his face. I stopped, got up and tucked him in before he could confront me on my weird actions. I was about to leave him in there when he asked, ‘wait…’ he looked almost alarmed. ‘Where are you going?’

   ‘To the living room?’    

   ‘Stay with me’ it sounded like a whisper, but it was heard in the cool night breeze coming from my window (yeah I leave it open, so what; if anyone tries to get in I’ll kick their asses in my sleep) making it cold. I could feel it on my skin; goose bumps covered the expanse of my skin. Why am I feeling like this? It’s nothing. He’s just a kid, looking for a bit of help. I can do this; think of him as the lost puppy you thought him to be when you first took him in. Gulping down the metaphorical lump stuck in my throat, I quickly answered, ‘okay.’ It was all that came out. I slid back under the covers and let him take up most of the room, leaving little room for me: of course, I’m doing this to myself…

I’d feel as if I was cheating if I let some stranger cuddle me in their sleep. Though, it wouldn’t be called cheating would it? It’s not as if I’m bound to him right? We’re not dating, we’re not casually seeing each other…it’s more like he sees me at work, flirts and hits on me and I do little in return…apart for my drunken blunders when the club gets a little out of hand…but it’s nothing. Even so, the kid’s just got here. Why do I keep calling him a kid, he’s older than

me…But he…he doesn’t look it…older than me that is…he looks…so…much…younger…than *yawns* me.

*Beep* *beep* *beep*

   ‘Yah!’ I faintly heard. ‘Hey!’ I heard again. ‘WAKE UP!’ that had me, I feel out of the bed at the loud noise. As I fell, I felt an arm slide off me. He wasn’t cuddling me was he * blushes* ‘Get up, get up, get up!’ he bounced on the bed like a child excited for Christmas.

   ‘I’m awake, gosh, why are you so hyper active?’ I rubbed my head. He shrugged.

   ‘Why are you on the floor?’ he feigned his angelic smile, reaching a hands to pull me back up onto the bed.

   ‘It’s your fault I’m on the floor.’ I sneered, gabbing his hand. He gave me a little tug, but I didn’t let him pull me up; instead, payback. I yanked hard on his arm and he came tumbling forward…

…                                                                    

….

Onto me.

Probably wasn’t my best plan I admit. He rubbed his head a little, but didn’t look too mad.

   ‘Now we’re up, how about breakfast?’ he smiled a genuine smile. This time, I got up and pulled him up too, as if he was a light as a feather. He is pretty light actually.

   ‘Come on; it’s going to get cold!’

   ‘What?’ I asked, confused. Before I could do anything he grabbed onto my arm and dragged me through the door. I was hit by different, pleasant smells of foods that had been laid out on the table.

   ‘What…’ I repeated. ‘When did you do this?’

   ‘I woke up early…it was cold and I couldn’t get back to sleep; thought I’ll admit, you’re really warm.’ He blushed, ‘but when I realised I was…you know…I moved away from you.’ He looked down at the floor.

   ‘Why don’t we tuck in huh?’ I moved away from the awkwardness we were both feeling.

   ‘Okay.’ His eyes brightened into crescent moons and he led me towards the table and sat down in front of it.

   ‘Thanks’ I smiled gratefully as he handed me some chopsticks.    

We tucked into our food and sat in a comfortable silence, as if we hadn’t been cuddling in bed, or being awkward with each other just now.

   ‘Okay.’ He said when we had finally finished eating. ‘Let’s get down to business.’

   ‘Baek, I have to go to work later...’ I said awkwardly.

   ‘You have some time then. And you said you will help me’ he whined like a puppy, pouting as he held onto my arm like a kid. ‘Okay okay.’ 

   ‘What do you have in mind?’