When you have insomnia you don't sleep, nor are you really awake, When was the last time she slept carelessly?
 she no longer have any fear for death, but she is at a quiet lonely place right now. she wanted to breath in smoke.

she felt like destroying something beautiful, she is a girl who is following an invinsible person, the smell of cigarettes, that aroma from him that smelled like a man does. The feel of the bed, still warm after him laying there the night before.

They fight, alot. It's been a long time, for so long she can remember it. When you feel pain all the time, you would think you would get used to that feeling, But you don't.

She met him during her teenage years, When life was at it's worst, they ran. Elope, from her so called ''home'' They got themself a trailer and have been living there since then. Back then they only trusted each other, They didn't understand the world. Having him by her side hurts her, But she can't leave him. Her mind is filled with his smell, his touches and his voice.

 She cries, cries herself to sleep every night, the worthless being. Her useless slef crawling up against the corner of the hotelroom that she was renting.
She's letting herself down, But she can't take it anymore,  she was covering herself with a blanket, making her way to the bathroom. She splashed cold water on her face to cool herself down. She let her hands rest on the sink while hanging her head.

 Her eyes were stinging from all the crying. She looked at her reflection on the mirror. It felt like she could see him on the other side, they shared the same past, the same story.  It wasn't always like this. They used to be happy. You're patethic. she said to her reflection while making her way back to the bed.

SHe's trying, to think about something else. But she can't stop thinking about him, This addiction was making her stomache twirl til' she couldn't stand anymore, It felt like she had a lump in , she tried to burn it with alcohol. She drank the liquior and felt as it was running down and stinged inside . But it didn't help.

How many days have it been now since she last saw him? her eyes fell on the door as she impatiently played with her fingers. She got herself up and grabbed her hotel keys. She let her hand fall on the door knob and stood there for a second before breathing in and opened the door.

She tried not to, but her body was doing it on it's own.

She's going to see him.