Ren's POV

 

I stared lifelessly into Baekho's shoulder as the previous events sunk deep into my mind. What had just happened? JR... Why did this happen? Why did things have to be this way? This wasn't the man I fell in love with. No, this was an absolute stranger. Whoever it was that had just thrown that soup at me and broke my heart... it wasn't the person I knew and grew up with. This was someone different. It wasn't just physically painful, what he did. No, the burn inside my heart stung far worse than the one outside of it. My entire body shook in agony. I was so caught up in my inner turmoil that I failed to notice just who it was that was comforting me. I slowly pulled away and sniffled, making contact with Baekho through teary eyes.

 

Through trembling lips, I spoke out to him. “Why did you do that?”

 

Baekho paused then glanced down. “I don't know...” He replied, looking about as confused and lost as I was. Why him, of all people? Why was Baekho the one to act strange around me? He was the absolute last person I would have ever expected to do... this. “I don't know. I'm sorry, I don't know.” He fumbled with his words as he tried to create some distance from me. He slowly picked up the towel he had dropped and reached forward to wipe the traces of the sticky soup that stuck to my hair and forehead. I nervously fidgeted back, avoiding his touch. I shook my head.

 

“You shouldn't have done that, Baekho...” My voice trailed off as my heart both ached and pounded inside my chest. What was this confusing feeling?

 

“I'm sorry.” Baekho continued to endlessly apologize. I stared dumbfounded at him. Something was... different. The Baekho who once absolutely refused to apologize to me now couldn't seem to stop himself.

 

“Baekho... are you trying to shake my heart?”

 

Now it was his turn to stare at me with wide eyes. “No! Never!” He exclaimed.

 

A small, sad smile spread across my lips. “I thought so... It was just a simple misunderstanding, wasn't it? You would never try to shake a heart that doesn't want to be shaken, would you?” I asked and he shook his head. I sadly stared past his shoulder and out into the garden. “I have JR. You know that.”

 

Baekho suddenly scoffed. “Even if I was, you'd really go back to that after what he just did to you?” He asked in disbelief.

 

“Baekho, try to look at it through his perspective. We both know nothing happened, but on the outside looking in, it looks like we did. Any person would come to that logical conclusion... JR didn't know what else to do. He panicked. He took his frustration out on me.”

 

“And that makes it okay?!”

 

“Baekho-”

 

“You are no one's punching bag, Ren! No one's!” He shouted, standing up on his own two feet. He threw the towel at my side down on the floor. “I'm actually quite ashamed of you. I thought you of all people would recognize abuse when you saw it.”

 

“This is the first time-”

 

Baekho angrily cut me off. “You honest to god think that it won't happen again?”

 

I paused, giving thought to what he just said.

 

“I thought you were stronger than that. I must have deeply misunderstood you.”

 

I shook my head. “You're wrong; you don't know him like I do. JR's not like that. He isn't!” I exclaimed, not at all appreciating the way Baekho was making my boyfriend out to be. JR wasn't an abuser. He would never intentionally hurt me. Never... He was just lost. He was hurt. He was confused. This wouldn't happen again. I wouldn't let it.

 

Baekho's fists shook at his own two sides. “Then do what you want. You can't say I didn't try.” He replied then walked away, entering the house. Once he was gone I shakily stood up and made my way back inside to grab my pair of shoes before slipping them on and taking off running down the street. I didn't care that my hair and clothes were a mess, nor did I care that I was still feeling feverish. I needed to set things straight between JR and I. I needed to see him, even if he didn't want to see me right now. I must had ran for fifteen minutes straight before I found myself standing vacantly in front of JR's front apartment door. I raised my hand to knock but I remained frozen. I was scared to knock on that door. I was afraid that JR might pretend not to be home just to avoid talking to me. I was even afraid that he would answer the door and tell me that we were over. I couldn't bring myself to knock. Instead I sighed deeply and let my hand fall back down to my side as I turned my back to the door.

 

Are you a coward, Ren?

 

I paused as this thought occurred to me. A coward? I had spent so much of my life living timidly, afraid of the scrutiny of others. I didn't want to waste any more of my life being afraid of what others thought. I came all this way just to turn around and go back? I'll never know the outcome of this situation if I don't try. I spun back around and boldly knocked on the door three times, after which came a long pause of dreaded silence. JR had to be home. His car was parked out front. Don't ignore me, JR. Don't push me away...

 

Suddenly the door opened, revealing a puffy eyed JR. “Ren...” His voice trailed off. “Why are you here?”

 

“Were you crying?” I asked, stunned.

 

JR ignored my question. “Why are you here?” He repeated himself. I stared him straight in the eyes.

 

“Are we... finished?”

 

JR stared at me with wide eyes before taking a step back and shakily collapsing on his knees as his legs gave out from shock after hearing those words. I immediately stepped inside of his apartment and knelt down with him. JR grabbed me by my stained shirt and began sobbing into my chest. “I'm sorry for what I did to you; please, don't leave me, Ren... I'm sorry...” His entire body trembled.

 

My heart ached. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and comforted him, pretending as if he hadn't hurt me deeply just about an hour ago. “JR, we need to talk.” JR stopped crying and began to hiccup from suppressing his sobs. He glanced up at me through teary eyes. “What are you not telling me about? What is it that's turning you into this stranger that I do not know?”

 

“It's nothing-”

 

“Bull it's nothing!” I exclaimed, slamming my hand down on the wooden paneling on the floor, causing JR to jump. JR had never really seen me lose my cool before, but I couldn't help it. I hated when others blatantly lied to me. I hated how people always took advantage of my kindness and stepped all over me. People have turned me into a fool; they think that just because I'm always smiling and helping everyone that I don't have feelings of my own? Am I not a person?! Is it okay to just trample all over me, because I'll smile and try to pretend as if nothing ever happened? JR... don't be this way... I wanted you to be different...

 

JR released me and climbed back onto his feet, making his way into the kitchen where he pulled open a drawer and removed an envelope. I stood up and followed him into the kitchen; without looking at me he handed me the letter. I glanced down at the address written down in English. It read from New York. I removed the letter from the already torn open envelope and unfolded it. As I read that it was a letter from Broadway, asking for my boyfriend to pack up and join them in the States, I felt my heart stop. No... this couldn't be... I felt tears start to build up in the corners of my eyes but I suppressed them with a forced smile.

 

“Congratulations, JR.” I replied, heartbroken. So this was what it was... this was what was causing JR to stress out and completely snap like that. I knew there had to be a story behind his awful behavior lately... JR had never been the type of person who purposely hurt others because he enjoyed doing so. When I had arrived just minutes ago, JR's eyes had been red and swollen. Although he played it off, I knew he had been crying previously beforehand, probably as a result of having hurt me. That... that was the JR I knew.

 

“Do I need to go?” He suddenly asked, taking me by surprise. I stared at him with wide eyes.

 

“Why are you asking me this?”

 

“If we're breaking up, there's really no reason for me to stay, is there?” He replied, shifting his gaze down to the floor. My bottom lip trembled.

 

“Who said we're breaking up...?”

 

He glanced back up at me. “We're not? But Ren, I hurt you-”

 

“Mistakes happen, feelings are hurt, and tears are cried all of the time. But you know what? You only have one life to live. And it's up to you to live it the way it was meant to be lived. JR, I'm not going to tell you whether or not to chase your dream; the decision is yours and yours alone. If you choose to go, I'll support your decision and cheer you on. But please, don't let me be the factor that causes you to stay and relinquish your dreams.”

 

JR stared down at his toes. “Can't you just ask me to stay?”

 

“I can't.”

 

“Don't you love me?” His voice cracked as he said this. “Then why won't you ask me to stay?”

 

“You know I do. Do you want to know something I learned a while back?” I asked, throwing my arms around him from behind and embracing him tightly. I rested my head against the back of his neck and in between his shoulder blades. “If you want to make your dreams to come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.”

 

“Can we not be possible...?”

 

“I didn't say that.” I replied.

 

“Please, just ask me to stay...” JR whispered pleadingly as he took my hands in his, cradling them to his chest. It stung my heart to see him so lost and confused like this. Did I want him to go? The selfish part of me didn't, but the dreamer side of me knew that this was the opportunity of a lifetime. When Broadway comes knocking on your front door, you answer it. I didn't want JR to miss out on this chance because of me. I would never forgive myself if he chose to stay because of our relationship.

 

“JR, I love you. That's why I can't ask you to stay. If you have a dream, there isn't anyone out there in the world that has the power to stop you from achieving it. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have realized that. I would have never gone back to school to pursue the degree that I wanted. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have gotten the internship with Pledis and DREAM. JR, thanks to you I'm doing it. I'm living out my dreams. If there's anything I can do to enable you to live yours, you bet I'm going to do it. Whether that means pursuing a long distance relationship or letting go. I'll do it gladly if that means you can finally be happy.”

 

JR's body began to shake from sobs. “Do you really mean it?”

 

“Every word of it.”

 

“You're too good of a person, Ren.”

 

I smiled. “I just want you to believe in yourself the way you believed in me. Go for it, chase your dreams.”

 

“I still have a few days left to decide... If I go, I won't be back for another year. Ren, would you really be willing to put up with a long distance relationship with me? Those are never easy.”

 

“I've waited this long for you already. I can wait a little bit longer.” I replied as JR turned around in my arms and kissed me.

 

“Thank you.” He whispered as he pulled away. He glanced down at my ruined shirt with a glint in his eyes. “Let's get you out of those clothes.” He replied rather seductively. A smirk spread across my lips as I finally caught on to what he was hinting at.

 

“Oh, god, yes.”

 

 

 

Aron's POV

 

After returning home from the studio and recording, I went straight to my room and sat on the edge of my bed. As soon as I sat I slowly removed my cell phone from my pocket and stared at it in silence. Several thoughts ran across my mind. Thoughts of her, thoughts of Minhyun, they both seemed to want to fight for my attention. She was in the past though. It had been several years since she had disappeared. I'm sure that if she wanted to be found, someone would have heard something, wouldn't they? Or maybe I wasn't thinking about it correctly; what if she didn't disappear, but was kidnapped or possibly even murdered? I would rather her have ditched me and everyone around her and started a new life someplace safe rather than the alternative. Now... now there was someone else that wanted to enter into my heart. My heart said 'yes,' but my mind said 'no.'

 

Why couldn't I let him inside? Why did I have to make things difficult for him? For me? I knew the same thing that happened to her couldn't happen twice. I knew Minhyun wouldn't just disappear. But deep down I had a fear of hurting him. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel guilty or responsible for what happened to her, even though I knew it wasn't my fault. There was literally nothing I could have done to prevent what happened. But even still... a part of me believed that if I allowed myself happiness, it wouldn't last and one or both of us would end up getting hurt.

 

Minhyun, how could I ask you to enter my heart when even my heart isn't sure of what it wants? My heart... it wants to be happy, but at the same time, it wants to push you away to prevent you from taking on the scars and extra baggage that it carries. Are you strong enough to carry all of me on your shoulders? I continued to stare down at my phone.

 

Is it worth taking the risk...?

 

I closed my eyes. Aron Kwak, what is it that you want? The reason I became an idol wasn't because it was my dream. I had majored at NYU in the math and sciences department. Rapping, although I had been pretty good at it, was only a mere hobby of mine. The reason why I became an idol was because of her. She had always had an obsession for K-pop. I figured... I figured if I had at least auditioned and tried out, if I became an idol maybe she would find me once again and reach out to me. I never imagined that I'd actually make the cut and get the job. In the years since then I never, not once changed my number, keeping the hope alive that she would see me on TV or the internet and try calling me. But she never did. And to this day, I keep my phone on me, waiting, hoping that she's still alive...

 

What kind of life is this...?

 

I knew that if I allowed myself to keep living like this, eventually I'd make myself sick. Right, as if my depression wasn't enough. But would it be okay to finally move on from the worries and the sorrow? I needed to live too without a heavy heart; I was destroying myself, wasn't I?

 

Knock, knock.

 

I glanced over my shoulder and watched as Minhyun suddenly came into my room. When he approached me and sat by my side on the bed with our shoulders touching I uncomfortably shifted my gaze back down to the cellphone in my hand. Minhyun seemed to take notice of the device and took my hand in his, slowly removing the phone from my palm.

 

“Have you given it any thought?” He asked softly.

 

I quietly nodded.

 

Minhyun hesitated before responding. “A-and?” I could tell he was either being brave or preparing himself for possible heartbreak.

 

“I'm... scared.”

 

“You're scared?” He asked, not expecting that response perhaps. “Why are you scared?”

 

“Is it... really okay to ask for you to accept my heart?” Minhyun stared at me with wide eyes before softly smiling and rubbing my back with his left hand. “I feel like... I feel like I'm really taking a risk by asking you to love me.”

 

“Love is always going to be a risk. But it's a risk worth taking.” Minhyun replied.

 

“Is it really okay to be happy?”

 

“Is it okay to be depressed for the rest of your life?” Minhyun countered back. I paused then shook my head.

 

“No, it's not...”

 

“Don't you dream of eventually one day being happy? Being freed from your depression that always keeps you down and prevents you from living a life worth living?”

 

“Of course I do...”

 

Minhyun glanced up at the ceiling far away and sighed. “Something that I've always believed in is that it is better to die with memories than to live with only dreams. Don't be afraid to take that chance. Remember, I said was all you have to do is ask. I'm pretty sure you know what my answer will be. You shouldn't be afraid. I liked you before I knew what was bothering you and I like you just the same even now.”

 

I couldn't bring myself to look at him. “I'm just worried.”

 

“About me?” He asked. I nodded. “I know full and well what I'm getting myself into when it comes to wanting to be with you. I accept it all, Aron. So you shouldn't worry about me...”

 

“But still-”

 

“Do I have to beg for you to let me be with you?” Minhyun replied, slightly annoyed. “I like you, you idiot! Don't push me away...” His voice trailed off rather sadly. I quickly turned to him when I sensed this.

 

“I like you too!” I exclaimed in a hurry to prevent him from feeling any further hurt because of me. When I realized what I had just said out loud, I felt all my blood rush to my face in embarrassment. I coughed to clear my throat then glanced sheepishly off to the side. “I like you.”

 

What looked like a small smile slowly spread across his lips as Minhyun suppressed it. He released me and folded his arms across his chest rather coyly, turning his attention away from me. “Then prove i-” I didn't even wait for him to finish his sentence before I pounced on him, grabbing both sides of his face and forcing my lips on his as he toppled backwards and onto my bed. Minhyun remained motionless and accepted my kiss until I pulled away from him and stared lovingly into his eyes.

 

“Will you help me?” I asked. He gave me a questioning look. “Will you help me move forward?”

 

Minhyun smiled sweetly then nodded. “Will you help me?” He asked. He didn't even need to explain himself in order for me to catch on to what he was referring to. I brushed my lips against his softly. “Let's help each other, Aron.”

 

I took his hand in mine and laced our fingers. “Only look at me; stay by my side, Min.”

 

Minhyun nodded. “Of course.”

 

 

 

Baekho's POV

 

I slammed the door shut behind me and brought my hands to cover my eyes as soon as I entered my room, all the blood in my entire body rushing to my face. Baekho, just what the hell did you do just now? Did you just interfere in a situation in which you had no business in? Why? What is that guy to you? Why is he so damn important that you'd risk losing your face in front of him? Choi Ren, what have you done to me...? Why did I... it felt like my body had just moved completely on its own. I had no control over my actions. What I did... I didn't mean to... did I? At this point even I had a hard time believing myself. I didn't know what was going on; I was so confused!

 

I strolled back and forth inside my room, rubbing my chin. I couldn't sit still. I was so embarrassed. I was so pissed off. I couldn't believe that even after what that jealous bastard did to him, Ren still wanted to go back to him. Hell, he even defended him and took his side. Was he really that weak of a person? Since when did he rely on others strength instead of his own? Choi Ren... the person you displayed just now, it wasn't the same as the person I had grown accustomed to living with inside of these quarters. He had accused me of not knowing JR; really? I had worked and trained with him for a few years now. I very well knew JR's dark tendencies. People like JR... there's no trusting them. Sure, what he did now was small, but I didn't want for Ren to stick around and find out later what he was capable of. If possible, I wanted to protect-

 

I stopped dead in my tracks. Wait. What?

 

Me? Protect Ren? Ridiculous! Why would I need to protect him? And why would he want my protection? He said it himself; he didn't want to be shaken. He was satisfied with that prick he was dating, even though he was obviously no good for him. I paused once again after realizing the thoughts that had just ran through my head. What in the world? What were these thoughts? Was I... jealous? Was I jealous of JR? How... I didn't like Ren that way... the reason why he was always on my mind was because he had practically become my first friend in years... that's the reason why, wasn't it? But if that's the case, why did I try to kiss him?

 

Ren, what are you doing to me...? Is it fun? Is it fun messing with my head, making me go crazy? You did this to me on purpose. This was your goal, wasn't it, from day one? From the first moment you saw me, you declared I wasn't your type and that you didn't want me. I was repulsed by your boldness, but yet, something within me, perhaps the leader side of me wanted to accept that challenge. I hated you. I truly despised you and wanted to hurt you. But at the same time, I found myself constantly wanting to be around you because you weren't like most people. You were different. Whenever you looked at DREAM, you saw us as people, not untouchable gods like the rest of society. From the moment DREAM declared war on you and you declared war back, practically dumping Minhyun's entire wardrobe outside, stealing the wi-fi and turning my room into a danger zone, you were never afraid of us. Although at first it drove me insane, now I actually... admired it.

 

Ren, if you didn't want me to shake your heart, then why did you shake mine first?

 

None of this would have happened if you hadn't of signed that contract with Pledis. That way I would have just regarded you as another crazy person during that fateful day we first met. I would have gone on my way and never given you another passing thought or glance. We would have disappeared from each others lives completely. Me feeling this way... I couldn't be alone in this, could I? There had to be something there on your side. Why else wouldn't you have pulled away or thrown me across the room, instead of just preparing yourself for it? Ren... do you really not have feelings for me too?

 

My heart ached inside of my chest. This was the first time in a long time that I ever remembered feeling this way. The last time I felt this familiar ache was when I was with U-ie. Since then the spot that used to house my heart had become a cold black hole. But now I could feel it again; I could feel my heart beating. I wanted to continue to feel this sensation because... it actually made me feel alive again. But Ren made his decision, didn't he? He chose JR. He didn't even give me a chance. He only saw me as the hindrance to his little fairytale of a relationship.

 

I sunk down onto my bed, grabbing at my shirt with my right fist near the area where my heart was beating. Dammit; this really, really hurt. I had been rejected before I had even had a chance to realize my own feelings. The aspect that Ren was another guy didn't seem to phase me anymore, apparently. The heart always knows what it wants and it only seemed to skip beats or beat faster whenever Ren was around. Whenever Ren was in the same room as me, I felt like I had reverted to my old high school days where I would get that warm, fuzzy feeling in the bottom of my stomach whenever I would accidentally cross paths with my crush. My heart... it wanted Ren. But it couldn't have him. Ren... he didn't want mine in return.

 

I laughed. How embarrassing. How humiliating. I didn't know how to face him anymore. Friends? Forget it. I didn't have it in me to act friendly around him anymore. It would be too awkward, too painful. From now on, Ren, lets continue to live as strangers underneath the same roof. No longer will I purposely nitpick on you for even the smallest of things. I'll leave you alone... so please, don't look my way. Know your place; know when you're not wanted. Don't stick to me like glue. Ignore what I said the other day; from now on, give up.

 

 

 

The next morning at breakfast was awkward. Minhyun, Aron and I all three sat around the large rectangular table in the kitchen. I had been flipping through my Ipad, catching up on the latest fashion trends in attempt to try to fix my own lacking sense of style. I didn't want to have to depend on Ren anymore in the case of whenever an unscheduled event should arise; I didn't want to go running to him for help. Style, fashion... it's really not that hard, is it? Even a guy like me could figure it out, surely. In the meanwhile, Aron was practically spoon feeding Minhyun across the table. The both of them seemed oddly cheerfully, especially Aron. I raised a brow; did something... happen? Whatever, it was none of my concern. I returned to my Ipad when suddenly the sound of the front door unlocking grabbed our attention. Ren sullenly walked inside; as soon as he entered I immediately turned my head and pretended not to see him. Minhyun instantaneously picked up on Ren's downward mood and he stood up from his chair.

 

“Ren, you're home! Come, join us!” He called out to Ren who, stuck in his own daze, didn't seem to notice and continued to slowly drag himself towards the hallway. Minhyun walked to him and wrapped his arm around his shoulder, not giving him a say in the matter and pulling him in the direction of the table. Ren lifelessly allowed Minhyun to redirect him and then sat in the chair next to me as Minhyun pulled it out for him before disappearing to the stove to make him a plate. Ren continued to quietly stare down at the surface of the table. Aron tilted his head to the side and stared back at him.

 

“Are you... okay?” He finally asked.

 

“Here you go!” Despite the gloomy change of atmosphere, Minhyun was the only one of us three to remain smiling. I uncomfortably shifted in my chair, trying to mind my own business as Minhyun placed a plate in front of Ren. I didn't want any part of this. If something was bothering him, that's what JR was for, wasn't he?

 

“He's going to New York...” Ren's voice trailed off. I stared down at my Ipad, not paying it any attention as my mind was elsewhere. JR was leaving? I continued to listen in on their conversation.

 

Aron furrowed his brows in confusion. “Who is?”

 

Minhyun elbowed him in the stomach. “JR, obviously!” He replied before turning back to face Ren. “Ren, I'm sorry...”

 

Ren shook his head. “No, I'm happy for him. He's going to realize his dream on Broadway.”

 

“But?” Aron asked.

 

“It just... kind of hurts.” He replied, forcing a smile on even though the hurt and pain was evident on his face. “But I'm really... really happy for him.” His words said one thing, but the tone in his voice said another. It was easy to tell that he obviously didn't want JR to go, but from what I gathered about Ren since his time underneath the same roof as me, I learned that he wasn't the type of person to hold others back. Ren was the kind of guy who would give you the wings from his very own back just so to see to it that you could soar. I glanced at him through the corner of my eyes; one look at him and it was clear. He was hurting. My heart ached once again for him, but there was nothing that I could do. Even after hearing that JR would be leaving, I knew and understood my place. I wasn't going to corner Ren and try to catch him on the rebound; no. I was going to leave him alone. That's what he really wanted, wasn't it? He asked for me not to stir his heart and I was adamant about listening.

 

“Sorry to hear that, buddy.”

 

“Everything's fine, don't worry about it.” He replied then turned to me. “Do you have this week's schedule?” He asked, trying to change the topic that he was uncomfortable speaking any further on.

 

I almost jumped in my seat as he called out to me. I remained silent and then pulled up my calendar on my Ipad then slid it across the table to him for him to take a glance at. Ren gave me a strange stare before shifting his gaze down at the tablet and scanning over the schedule. He glanced back up at me after coming across Friday's activity.

 

“It says 'debut at Music Core'?”

 

I continued my vow of silence and turned my head away from him. Did he not get it? I didn't want to speak to him. It was awkward to speak to him. Choi Ren, why are you always so slow? How do you not know how uncomfortable you're making things for me?

 

Finally Minhyun, who had been observing the awkward tension between the two of us, spoke up. “Ah, yeah! We're going to be debuting our new song at Music Core in a couple of days.”

 

Ren shifted his attention over towards Minhyun and off of me. “Oh, really? How exciting.” He replied with a sweet smile spread across his lips. It was almost as if he hadn't even walked inside in such a sullen state mere moments ago. I couldn't help but find myself staring, wondering about the story behind it. Ren seemed to be a pro at masking his feelings. How often did Ren hurt in his lifetime that he had become such a master at the art of deceit? I mentally shook my head; it didn't matter, did it? Why should it matter to me? To me, all Ren could ever be was my stylist and nothing more.

 

Aron stood up and placed his empty plate inside the dishwasher. “I have my radio show to get ready for. I'll catch you guys later. Ren,” He replied, looking down at Ren. “Keep smiling.”

 

Ren blinked, taken by surprise. “W-what?”

 

“Take it from someone who knows this firsthand; out of the darkness comes the light. Sometimes you gotta go through a lot of crappy days before you can reach the good ones, but it'll happen.” Aron faintly smiled. The three of us stared at him with wide eyes. What the hell was that? Aron, the guy who hardly ever said anything at most times, actually spoke some words of wisdom worth listening to? I glanced over at Minhyun; just what had happened between those two overnight to make such a change in him?

 

Ren smiled back at him. “Thanks, Aron. I'll remember that.”

 

“Good.” He replied and gave him a thumbs-up sign. Ren cheerfully played along and gave one back to him before Aron left the room. Once he was gone, Ren turned to Minhyun with a questioning look over his face. Minhyun smiled smugly and nodded at him. Ren immediately shot up from his chair beside me and ran over to him. Minhyun leaped up out of his chair and joined hands with Ren and the two jumped around the kitchen like a couple of excited teenage hyenas.

 

“I'm so excited for you, Minnie! You did it!”

 

Minhyun stopped and flashed Ren a genuine look of concern. “Is it really okay... I don't mean to throw my relationship in front of your face...”

 

Ren shook his head. “It's fine; JR's leaving, but we're not breaking up.” As he said this I felt my heart clench inside of my chest. JR and Ren were going to pursue their relationship... long distance? Ren, are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't you know that long distance relationships are a recipe for disaster? They almost never work out... Ren, your head is full of delusions, isn't it? I almost couldn't believe that I actually found something inside of you worth liking... you, you're absolutely crazy. I took this moment to abruptly stand, my chair legs scraping across the floor as it slid out from underneath me. Both Ren an Minhyun looked my way but I ignored them and angrily marched out of the kitchen and made my way towards my room.

 

Choi Ren, I don't like you. Just disappear from my thoughts!

 

I closed the door behind me and leaned against it, staring down at the floor. I exhaled heavily. I would have to do everything within my power to convince myself of this lie... wouldn't I?

 

 

 

Ren's POV

 

Over the course of the next few days I had discovered that one of my students had been absent several times. Normally I wouldn't have been too concerned, however, it was the same student that had confessed to me about being bullied. After class let out for the day, I returned to the teachers office room and sat inside of my cubicle, pulling out a folder with the names, addresses and phone numbers of each and every one of my students. I pulled out Kim Suri's file and opened it, scanning for a phone number. Although my student was deaf, her parents weren't, which meant that I wouldn't have to make a video call to get in contact with them. I picked up the phone on the side of my desk and punched in my student's home number. The phone rang a couple of times before my student's mother picked up.

 

“I'm sorry to bother you at home, Mrs. Kim; this is Mr. Choi, your child's homeroom teacher calling.” I replied, waiting for a response.

 

“Ah, yes.” She replied rather uncomfortably. “How can I help you?”

 

“I noticed Suri hasn't been in class lately. Is everything alright?” I asked, sensing her unease on the other end of the line.

 

“Actually... that's what I wanted to ask you about.”

 

“Me?” I blinked. “Is something wrong?”

 

“Suri... she refuses to go to school, no matter how hard we try to push. Is there something going on at the school that we're not aware of?” She asked. I paused, my mind flashing back to the incident Suri had described about the rock throwing and teasing involving the neighboring school kids. I also remembered the student-teacher confidentiality oath I had taken. I now found myself facing a rather difficult situation on whether or not to break that oath. I had promised to remain silent on the matter, but something was clearly wrong with Suri. Just how bad had the bullying escalated that she refused to even return to school? I was torn with worry.

 

“Mrs. Kim, has Suri mentioned anything about being bullied to you?”

 

“Yes, but you know how kids play these days; kids will be kids.”

 

“Even still... Mrs. Kim, when Suri tries to tell you something, as her parent you should try to listen.” I sternly replied. After reviewing Suri's file before I called, I reminded myself that I would be dealing with hearing parents. There was a mix of attitudes that seemed to accompany them; some hearing parents, in an attempt to communicate with their child, would learn sign language. Others would not. Suri's parents, however, were parents that had dallied around with sign language and had even taken a couple of my free sign language courses that I had offered, but didn't take it seriously enough to commit. The way that the Kim's communicated with their child was through writing on boards and sending text messages. In a way, my heart ached for Suri; her parents didn't think it was necessary to try to speak to her in the language she so heavily relied on to express herself.

 

“Are you trying to tell me how to raise my daughter, Mr. Choi?” I could hear coarseness and resentment in her voice. “Are you a parent? You might be a teacher for the deaf, Mr. Choi, but you do not tell me how to communicate with my child. We're doing everything we can for her.”

 

“Including listening?”

 

“Listen? Don't be absurd. You have to have a voice in order to be heard; Suri doesn't speak.”

 

“Mrs. Kim, listening doesn't always involve the ears.”

 

“Says the person whose hearing is just fine.” She retorted. She was trying to poke a hole in my logic but I wouldn't let her.

 

“Mrs. Kim, I grew up with a mother who is deaf. My father, a hearing person, learned sign language just to fall in love with her. My older brother and I both learned it in order to be able to just 'talk' to our mother as well. So please, don't assume I don't know what it's like living with someone who cannot hear or use their own voice as a means to communicate with. Being able to listen involves having a willingness to pay attention and receiving the message that is trying to be sent. Mrs. Kim, when Suri is trying to tell you something, especially when something as important as bullying comes up, don't you think it's essential to listen?”

 

“I don't appreciate your attitude.” She replied, sounding flabbergasted.

 

“This isn't about me; this is about Suri. Will you please talk with her and convince her to come back to class? Her grades will suffer.”

 

“I'll see what I can do.”

 

“Please, just listen to her; be there for your daughter.”

 

She went silent for a quite a while until I even questioned if she had hung up. Finally she responded as I was about to pull the phone receiver from my ear. “I will...” She replied quickly before hanging up. I placed the receiver back down on its stand and leaned on my elbows on the surface of my desk and sighed. I ran my fingers through my bangs. I hoped I got through to her. It was a real shame when good students had troublesome or immature parents that wouldn't even bother to take the time of day to just listen to their child. Hopefully she wasn't deceiving me; hopefully Mrs. Kim would speak and actually listen to Suri.

 

I glanced down at my watch. It was already 2 PM. JR's flight to New York would be in about an hour and I was heartbroken. If I went to send him off, that would really be it then, wouldn't it? I would really have to say goodbye, something which I didn't want to do. JR couldn't leave if I didn't say goodbye, right? ?No; I couldn't be selfish. I wanted him to go. I wanted for him to achieve his dream and become the biggest star on Broadway. He certainly couldn't do that staying here, could he? I didn't have a choice. I had to say goodbye, knowing that the next time I'd see him wouldn't be for another year. But surely we could last, couldn't we? I had to believe so. JR, I'll wait for you.

 

I stood up, grabbed my briefcase and left the school building, taking a cab all the way down to the airport. Unfortunately on the way we had hit traffic, making us awfully late. When I arrived I paid the cab driver then ran inside in a panic. My heart raced; it couldn't end like this. I had to see JR one last time before he left the country! He couldn't just leave without a word. He couldn't just leave me... I ran past several gates, not stopping until I reached the terminal headed towards the States. As I grew nearer, I spotted JR standing in line with his rolling suitcase behind him, his boarding pass in hand.

 

“JR!” I screamed, stopping behind the roped off barriers preventing me from getting any closer. JR's head suddenly snapped up as he heard his name being called. He glanced behind his shoulder then with his suitcase in his left hand, took off running towards the rope, leaving his place in line to be with me. No words were exchanged. JR cupped each side of my face in his hands and brushed his lips on mine. Two tears trickled down my cheeks. It was a kiss that I wished had lasted forever but only ended too soon enough. JR pulled away from me as the speaker made the final announcement for the passengers to board the flight.

 

“I'll be back.”

 

“Promise?” More tears began to fall as every muscle in my entire body went numb and ached at the same time. Don't go, JR... please, don't go...

 

JR nodded with a sad smile, taking my hand in his and lacing his pinky finger around mine. “Mmm; I promise.” I could tell by the look in his eyes that he almost didn't want to go either. This situation was as painful for him as it was for me. “Wait for me?”

 

I nodded hysterically. “I will.”

 

Before stepping back JR leaned forward and brushed the tears from my eyes with his thumbs. “I love you, Ren. And I'll never stop loving you.”

 

Damn these tears that wouldn't stop falling no matter how many times he wiped them. “Me too. I love you too, JR. So hurry back, ok?”

 

JR smirked. “I'll come running back if I have to.”

 

“Across the ocean?” I asked, chuckling through my tears in amusement as I tried to picture the impossible image inside of my head.

 

“I'll do it if it's to meet with you again.” He replied. I leaned in closer and gave him one last kiss before pulling away and sending him off.

 

“Go now...” I sniffled. Sometimes it hurt having to be so strong. “I'll see you when you get back, ok?” A pained expression washed over JR's face. He released me and took a hold of his suitcase once again.

 

“Goodbye, Ren...” He said as he started walking backwards.

 

“Goodbye... JR.” As I said this he slowly turned his back to me and stepped inside the gate, handing his boarding pass to the flight attendant who took it and urged him forward. When he was gone I slowly drug myself over to a row of benches and nearly collapsed inside of a seat. I drew my hands over my eyes and began to sob silently. Reality began to sink in. No longer would I see or accidentally run into JR at Pledis anymore. If I went to JR's apartment at night, he wouldn't be there. Nothing, absolutely nothing that could remind me of him would be there inside of his empty apartment. Now if I wanted to call him, it would have to be late at night or early in the morning just to be able to catch him because of the time zone difference. The only person that I had to rely on to help ease me through all of my pains and troubles... he was gone now. I was all alone now, wasn't I? Saying goodbye and letting go... those were two of the most difficult, most painful things to do in life, weren't they?

 

Suddenly I was reminded of Aron's words from earlier this week. 'Keep smiling... Out of the darkness comes the light. Sometimes you gotta go through a lot of crappy days before you can reach the good ones, but it'll happen.'

 

More tears rolled down my face. I jumped when I suddenly felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket several times. I fumbled to get it out then shakily held it in my palms. Minhyun was calling me. I took a moment to take a deep breath and collect myself before answering.

 

“Hey Ren, just calling to check on you. You've been out longer than usual today and the three of us were just wondering where you were.”

 

Another realization suddenly struck me. I... wasn't alone, was I? That's right; I had these guys with me. Aron, Minhyun, Baekho... These guys, the very same ones who declared a war on me had managed to earn a place in my heart and I'm sure the feeling was likewise as well. They each cared about me in their own special way. Why else had they have called? I was important to them, almost like how they were important to me. How could I have foolishly forgotten this? I couldn't hold it in any longer. I began to sob into the phone. I covered my mouth with my right palm and tried to stifle my crying but it was no use. It almost sounded as if I were choking.

 

“Ren, oh my god, are you alright? Where are you? Do you need for me to send a car?” An alarmed Minhyun asked through the phone.

 

I stupidly nodded, even though I knew he couldn't see me. “You have perfect timing, Minhyun...” My voice trailed off. “Thank you.”

 

“W-what? For what?” He asked, startled.

 

“For being my friend; all of you. Thank you...”

 

“Ren, you're scaring me. Where are you? I'm coming for you myself.”

 

“Incheon Airport.” I lifelessly replied.

 

Minhyun paused as he realized that I had probably just sent JR off. “Got it. I'm on my way. Don't move!” He replied then hung up. My hand dropped to my lap when I heard the line cut off. I stared vacantly as the crowds of people passed back and forth in front of me, each going their own separate ways in life. I didn't know how much time had eluded me, but before I knew it, I heard my name being called from further down the terminal. As I glanced off to my side I spotted three familiar silhouettes dressed in hats and sunglasses running down the walkway and past dozens of bystanders. As they grew closer, Minhyun ran to the front of the group and knelt over and wordlessly folded his arms around me, embracing me tightly. As Aron and Baekho caught up, Aron knelt over and wrapped his arms around both me and Minhyun while Baekho remained the only one still standing, staring off to the side defiantly.

 

“You guys...” I was speechless. I hadn't expected for the three of them to show up. Even though Baekho was ignoring me, the fact that he still showed up was enough. Minhyun tightened his hold on me.

 

“Don't cry, Ren. If you cry, I'll cry. And then this crybaby over here will cry even harder and Baekho... Baekho will just laugh.” Minhyun said. I chuckled through my tears. Aron pulled away and scoffed.

 

“I can't help that I'm an emotional man.” Aron replied.

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Minhyun slowly pulled away from me. “Baekho, would you really laugh at all of us?” Baekho rolled his eyes and ignored his question.

 

“Guys, I don't know what to say... just... thank you.”

 

“Duh. We're friends.” Aron said.

 

“You can count on us, right Baekho?” Minhyun asked. Baekho glanced down at me with a brief, soft look on his face before quickly averting his gaze elsewhere. Even though he said nothing, that look said it all. Despite the fact that Baekho had been giving me the silent treatment this past week, the fact that he showed up, the fact that he shared that revealing brief look with me said that he still cared for me enough as a friend. Baekho, you can play the role of the Ice Prince for as long as you want, but your body language and your facial expressions say it all.

 

Baekho suddenly stepped forward and grabbed me by the wrist and yanked me up to my feet. “Stop crying, get up, and lets go home... together.” His last words stunned me. Both Aron and Minhyun stood at each of my sides and slung their arms around my shoulders, leading me out of the airport with Baekho still tugging on my arm. Yes, I had been foolish, hadn't I? I wasn't alone. I had DREAM; I had three very different people in my life now to fill the void that JR had left in me.

 

As long as they were by my side, everything would be fine... wouldn't it?

 

 

 

Baekho's POV

 

The van ride back from the airport was awkward. Ren was quiet the entire time while Minhyun and Aron endlessly tried to cheer him up. I stared out of the window during the ride back to the mansion. Why had I gone with them to the airport to check up on Ren? I wish I could say that they had forced me into it, but I wasn't. I had overheard Minhyun on the phone and he sounded extremely worried. I had realized his concern was over Ren when he hung up and ran to get Aron. As the two were stepping out the door I grabbed my hat and sunglasses and stepped out with them. I could tell that they were both surprised that I was joining them, but they didn't question it. Our manager had skidded up to the front of the mansion in the van and we took off.

 

It was funny. My body was funny. These days it seemed to do things on its own without my permission. It acted on its own when it tried to kiss Ren and then it took off without me even realizing it when I discovered that he was in distress. Regardless, even though I had shown up, I still couldn't really bring myself to talk to him. It was strange; it was like I wanted to be there for him, yet at the same time I wanted a screen of distance between us. I wanted to be both close to him and far away because I knew his heart was untouchable. I knew I've always been a bit of an , but I wasn't the type of guy to take what clearly wasn't mine.

 

By the time we arrived home it was already dark. Our manager dropped us off in front of the mansion and drove off. Aron paused when he reached the front gate, a serious expression was written across his face. “Something's wrong here.” He replied, taking note of the slightly open iron gate. “This was locked before we left.”

 

Minhyun and Ren both stared at Aron with wide eyes. I felt my heart start to race. Had someone broken in? How in the world... I stepped forward and observed the gate. It looked like the lock had been the victim of a blunt object striking against it. I wordlessly pushed through the gate and started making my way to the front of the house.

 

“Baekho, are you crazy?! Don't go inside!” Minhyun exclaimed then turned to Aron. “You, call the police.” Aron nodded then pulled out his easily accessible phone in hand and dialed the cops. I ignored Minhyun's warning and continued forwards anyways. I wasn't afraid of some home intruder. I sneakily crept up to the front door, overhearing Ren asking Aron something before walking off to the back of the house. He returned holding one of Aron's golf clubs in hand and instead of being careful and cautious as I was, Ren walked right past me and entered the house with about as much grace as an elephant, not even bothering to muffle the sounds of his steps as he walked. What in the world...? Who was the crazy one now, Minhyun? Oh god, this guy's going to get himself murdered. I quickly marched up to his side, standing behind him inside of the house.

 

“Mind explaining what the hell you're doing?!” I whispered to him, breaking my vow of silence this one time only.

 

Ren slung the golf club over his shoulder much like a gangster would. “Dealing with this problem Busan-Style.”

 

I blinked. “What...?”

 

“I'm from Busan.”

 

“Not that!” I exclaimed before quickly placing my hand over my mouth, realizing I had made a mistake just now.

 

“Then what are you confused about?” Ren asked, looking as clueless as ever. This guy never failed to surprise me, did he? This persona he had on now wasn't one that I would have ever expected from him before. Ren, a thug? Just how many personalities did this guy have? He portrayed himself as a caring, sensitive teacher interning to become a stylist with a sassy attitude but was secretly a gangster at night? This almost sounded like a really bad idea for a sitcom.

 

“You, are you some kind of thug?”

 

Ren looked almost offended as he pouted. “Of course not!”

 

I pointed at the golf club hanging over his shoulders in disbelief. “Then what is this?!”

 

“A golf club.”

 

Goddammit. For someone supposedly so smart, he lacked a lot of common sense, didn't he? Growing tired of our games, Ren began to march forward, traveling down the hallway when he heard the sounds of ruffling coming from inside his room. Before entering he lowered the golf club from off of his shoulders and braced himself. I remained standing out in the hallway, too terrified to move. How in the world could this one be so brave? I suppose there were worse things in the world to be afraid of, however, burglars had to be one at the top of that list. Sounds of a struggle erupted from the room before-

 

BAM!

 

My eyes widened in horror and I ran inside of the room. I paused when I spotted Ren standing in the center, hovering over the body of a man dressed in black. I don't know what came over me, but I started to laugh hysterically. Oh my god; this burglar just got his handed to him by a man that almost looked like a woman. Ren dropped the golf club on the ground and knelt down beside of him, emptying out his pockets and pulling out dozens of pieces of designer jewelry that belonged to DREAM. It wasn't long until we were joined by the police, who escorted the robber out of the house with handcuffs. When the house was all clear Aron finally came inside, dashing around like a madman before finally joining the rest of us in the living room. As he entered, he practically slid on the wooden paneling in his socks, almost tripping as he stopped.

 

“Guys, it's ok. The wi-fi was unharmed.” He exclaimed with a small smile.

 

Minhyun slapped his hand across his face. “Good god, Aron.”

 

I glanced over at Ren. “What was all of that about? You could have gotten yourself killed!” I snapped. Ren shrugged his shoulders and brushed me off like my concern was nothing to him.

 

“It's not something I'm not used to.” Ren replied. “My family has always been the victim to such attacks at the misconception of being an easy target. When my father wasn't home, my older brother and I would take charge and protect my mother.”

 

The three of us stared at him with wide eyes. Easy target? How would his family had been an easy target? This was practically the first time Ren had even spoken about his family in its entirely. With as much as I wanted to ask, I had probably inquired about too much for today. Starting tomorrow I would return to my vow of silence.

 

“That was actually pretty cool. I was totally wrong about you.” Aron replied. “No longer will I try to pull fast ones on you.”

 

Ren smirked. “Thanks, Aron.”

 

“Guess we know who the man of the house is.” Minhyun teased, elbowing me in the stomach.

 

“Whatever, I was right there with him!” I exclaimed, starting to turn red.

 

Minhyun snickered. “Yeah, right behind him.”

 

“I'm not arguing with you idiots!”

 

“Baekho was brave and was by my side the entire time.” Ren replied, coming to my defense. I paused and stared at him with wide eyes, turning even redder as I felt blood start to rush to my face. Dammit, Ren. Don't do this. I curled up my fist by my side and immediately took off to my room feeling humiliated. I didn't need for him to stick up for me. Ren was the absolute last person on earth that I'd want sticking up for me. Ren, just get out of my life. Stop making things miserable for me and just go away! I slammed the door shut and locked it behind me. I threw myself on my bed and buried my face into my pillows. Choi Ren, just go away... just go away...

 

 

The next morning the three of us awoke early to get ready for Music Core. By the time I came out of my room Minhyun and Aron were already practically half way dressed. As I walked past Aron's room I noticed him standing in front of his full body length mirror, practicing his rap solo and matching choreography nervously. That's right; today we would be performing our new song for the first time ever. Our last song had been a big hit and had put DREAM in the spotlight. With so much success came great expectations from us from the the media; we were expected to put out an even greater hit. But this new song... was it really it? Could we really hit the top of the charts again with an all-kill? I could only hope so. If we continued our line of success, we could be finding ourselves being nominated for the most coveted award in Asia, the MAMA Award. I had only dreamed of receiving that award ever since I first started training to become an idol. It was an award that every artist dreamed of possessing, and one day, I dreamed that it would be mine. But it all depended on how today went, didn't it?

 

Aron noticed me watching him from outside in the hallway. I nodded at him. “Keep it up.” I encouraged him and he nodded back with a small smirk.

 

“You got it, leader.”

 

I continued down the hall, coming across Minhyun's room, where he was also standing in front of his mirror, practicing his high notes and gulping down several bottles of water. When he noticed me standing in his doorway he practically choked. “Umf, Baekho-”

 

“Stop. You'll tear your vocal chords out. You need to save your voice for the performance.”

 

“Sure thing.” Minhyun replied then placed the water bottle down and pulled on his blazer. As I turned to leave his room I spotted Ren heading towards me down the hall. I pursed my lips together and prepared myself for this encounter. He handed me my outfit with a smile.

 

“Good luck out there today, Baekho.” He said sweetly. I took the outfit from him and simply nodded.

 

“Thanks.” I muttered underneath my breath and turned my back to him. I entered the bathroom and took a quick shower before getting dressed. A few minutes later the hairstylist and makeup artist from Pledis arrived at the mansion and went straight to work on us, sparing us the time and hassle it would take to have done it at the Music Core backstage room. It was amazing how average we looked without the help or magic of our team. Without the pounds of makeup and hairspray we looked about as normal as any other man on the streets of Seoul, but when it was on we looked like some type of untouchable beings. Needless to say, I absolutely loved it.

 

Ren smiled with bright eyes when the three of us stepped out into the living room, all dolled up and ready to go. He took out his phone and handed it to the hairstylist. “We have to take a picture!” He replied then ran up to us excitedly, standing in the middle between me and Aron.

 

I scoffed. “Why do you have to be in it?”

 

Ren pouted. “I'm proud that I work for DREAM.”

 

“Just shut up and smile, Baekho. No one else has ever said that before and probably no one else ever will.” Minhyun snapped then put on a big smile for the camera. I glanced over at Aron who had even put in the effort to smirk. I rolled my eyes then forced myself to smile, scooting in closer to Ren subconsciously. The three of us leaned in to him and the hairstylist held Ren's phone up.

 

“1, 2, 3, kimchi~~~!”

 

“Kimchi!!!” Ren, Aron and Minhyun exclaimed cheerfully. How ridiculous. Just smiling should be enough, shouldn't it? I remained silent, still smiling. After the picture was taken I quickly pulled away and made my way to the door, anxious to get to the stage. Aron, Minhyun and Ren all followed me outside and climbed into the van after me before being whisked away to the Music Core building.

 

 

As we arrived, we were rushed backstage along with several other talented groups and bands of idols. Everyone looked nervous, standing around sipping water and chatting amongst themselves. I couldn't say I wasn't like the rest of them. I was nervous as hell to be here. Several thoughts ran across my mind. Were we ready? Had we practiced enough? Today's performance had to be flawless. We couldn't disappoint Pledis, and most importantly, we couldn't disappoint ourselves. I'd never forgive myself or the others if we made a stupid, amateur mistake on stage. I suddenly jumped as I felt a hand from behind tap my shoulder. I slowly turned backwards and froze as I realized who it was that stood before me in all of her shining glory.

 

“Baekho,” She called out to me, smiling with her painted red lips. “Long time no see.”

 

My whole body went numb, my heart racing. “U-ie.”

 

“How are you? I feel as if we haven't talked in years... you haven't been avoiding me, have you?” She sadly asked, shifting her gaze down from my eyes to my shoulders.

 

“Because it has been years.” I rudely replied. “Avoiding you? Last I checked, the phone works both ways.”

 

She glanced back up at me. “I've been busy.”

 

“So have I.” I replied, not missing a beat.

 

She nervously laughed. “The lifestyle of an idol; it's not easy, is it...?” Her voice trailed off.

 

“I don't know what you're talking about. I love every bit of it.” I said, putting her on the spot. She stared at me with hurt eyes.

 

“Are you still mad at me for-”

 

I scoffed. “It's been over three years and that's the first way you think to greet me?” Ridiculous.

 

She narrowed her eyes. “That's right, it's always been about you, hasn't it?” She asked. As she said this, my mind was suddenly brought back to an earlier conversation that I had shared with Ren, back when I had said those horrible things to him about homouality and our scandal together. He had practically told me the same thing, that everything was always about me... “I know I hurt you, but just once, did you ever stop to think about me, about what it did to me?”

 

“You made the choice all on your own.”

 

She shook her head. “Do you really think you would have been able to make a reasonable decision at that age? I made the decision for you, doing what I thought was best for you and your future.”

 

“Are you sure it wasn't just about yourself?”

 

U-ie's shoulders dropped and she glanced down in disappointment. “It was never about me, Baekho... I had already lived the life of a star. Did I want to do what I did? Of course not... But I knew your dream and I knew that you had yet to reach it; Baekho, do you know how precious a dream is? A person who doesn't dream has nothing, absolutely nothing in their life. I couldn't have taken that away from you before you had even begun.”

 

“But you did.”

 

She paused. “I did it with only your best interests in mind...”

 

“You could have asked me!” I exclaimed, grabbing the attention of several other bystanders.

 

“Baekho,” She called out to me. “I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. My only wish now is that one day you'll eventually see it from my perspective and forgive me.”

 

“I doubt it.” She gave me a hurt look as I said this. She was about to retaliate to this remark when suddenly After School's name had been called to go up on stage next to perform their song.

 

“I'm sure that one day you'll grow up to be a magnificent man, Baekho, but that time isn't now. I hope that you don't waste anymore of your time hating me.” She replied then walked away, joining the rest of After School. Once she was gone and in front of the curtain I placed my hand on my chest and grabbed my heart that ached so hard. U-ie, I didn't truly know how to feel about you anymore. You said you did it for a good reason, but even still... part of me wants to believe you, and the other part wants to accuse you of lying. For as long as I did know you, you were never a bad, spiteful person towards me or anyone else. Hell, you were the only one to talk to me and even give me a chance back then. It's because of you that I had come so far today. Were you really being truthful...? It really was for me and not yourself? Even if you had done it for the right reasons, it didn't make what you did anymore right than it was wrong.

 

My attention was disrupted by the conversation between the stage crew working behind the curtain. “Is the sign tightly secured?”

 

“Yeah, man.”

 

“Did you do it yourself?”

 

“No, the other guy was supposed to do it.”

 

“Check it, now. We don't need any accidents waiting to happen.” What appeared to be the stage manager instructed another one of the workers before he walked off, clipboard in hand. The employee that he had been instructing shrugged then walked the opposite direction, completely disregarding his orders. I furrowed my brows; what were the consequences of that man's actions just now? As I was about to approach him my manager called me.

 

“Baekho, get your microphone on. DREAM is up next.”

 

“Right.” I replied, quickly forgetting about situation and walking over to the stage crew already taping microphones to Aron and Minhyun's faces. As they started applying my microphone the background music to After School's 'Flashback' began to pour out from the speakers. When they finished the task, the three of us made our way over and stood behind the curtain, watching as our label mates began to dance to the choreography JR had created for them way back before he had left for the States. I couldn't help but watch as U-ie graced the stage with her presence; she was almost like a goddess. Every move of hers was flawless and perfectly executed like a pro. Every time she smiled or sent a wink to the audience, the fanboys roared. Back in the day when we had actually dated, I remembered that move of hers would drive me absolutely insane with jealousy. When I was younger I was selfish and even more immature than I was now; I didn't want anyone looking at my girl. It wasn't until much later that I had realized that my girlfriend was an idol, and that meant having to share her with the rest of the world.

 

As U-ie moved to the back of the group, the stage lights suddenly started to flicker on and off. The girls all shared the same confused look on their faces but remained professional about it and continued their choreography. A loud noise erupted from the ceiling. Although I was sure the girls and everyone backstage heard it, they continued moving to the music. I glanced up at the ceiling; one of the workers was standing on a railing, struggling to hold onto one of the chains that supported one of the large decorative stage signs. He suddenly yelled out for help. The entire backstage crew went running up the stairs to get up to the railing as the sign continued to slip inch by inch from the man's fingers. I immediately glanced back down at the stage; standing directly underneath the sign was U-ie, Nana and Raina. I felt my heart skip a beat.

 

“Look out!!!” One of the crew members exclaimed.

 

It was almost as if time had slowed down. Without hesitation I dashed out on stage, running and shoving past several of the girls to get to her. As the sign came crashing downward, I threw my hands out and shoved U-ie, along with the other two girls out of the way, sending her rolling backstage to safety and Nana and Raina flying out into the audience. The last thing I remembered seeing was the alarmed, frightened look on U-ie's face and her outstretched hand before she screamed.

 

“BAEKHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

BAM!

 

The sign collapsed and the previously loud stadium filled with the sounds of ear shattering screams went completely silent.

 

Everything went black.