Chapter 7: This is really good, but you should punctuate your dialogue with a comma inside the closing quotation marks like:
"Hello," he said.
Also, begin a new paragraph when the speaker changes; otherwise, it can be kind of confusing ^^

Chapter 6: This is so good!!!! Update soon authornim~

Chapter 3: KEEP IT COOL =^..^=

Chapter 5: Can u post two today

Chapter 5: Why?Your story is good!!!Pls don't.
:(

Chapter 4: Update Soon!!!

Chapter 3: Update Soon!!!

Hi, please update the first cap please, I'll give you some tips for better, because I really like your stories:
a chapter should consist of at least 1000 words, u can count it using Microsotf Word or any other program that counts words. To write stories, you should use the narrative, the story is not only to dialogues, but about the colors, smells, people, objects, weather, you have to describe things that are in the scene or about the characters to readers see the story, to feel it. To write the dialogues, is used the novel format this consisting of writing sentences between dashes, then these, you write who said it or what was doing while was saying it. I'll give an example: -Shut up , I do not want to hear you-, whispered the girl with black hair while some tears were sliding down her cheeks.
You understand? This way is more aesthetic and easier to read. Also you should note that paragraphs should consist of a minimum of 5 lines and a maximum of 10 non stun readers. I say this because I've read some of your stories, and I think you should improve on these aspects, as you have lots of potential and lots and lots of creativity, I loved the plot of your story and I think you should keep writing to keep improving every time more. I hope you take my advice into consideration, and I hope also soon to read the first chapter of this story. Sorry for my bad english.