I fell into a squat, sweat drenching on my grey hoody. My heartbeat was fast and every inch of my muscle aches. Panting, I got up and run my wet hair through my fingers, making my fringe stick on the top of my head. I felt a little nauseous, probably from standing up too fast but the black spots that started disrupting my vision quickly disappeared. I headed towards the gold, shiny bottle to get a drink. It was easy to spot my bottle or any of my possessions. For some reasons, they always stuck out of the crowd.

As I grabbed my bottle, I took my towel next to it and patted it on my face gently, making the cotton fabric absorb my sweat. I leaned against a wall as my knees slowly bend and my hit the floor gently. I placed the towel around my neck then unwind my bottle’s cap.

As I gulped down the water, my eyes travelled around to see the others. Almost all of them were taking a break, except for some seniors. It was clear that they were observing every single one of us here. I placed my bottle down next to me and stood up. I looked at my watch striped loosely on my thin wrist.

Ten minutes almost up.

I threw my towel down next to my tumbler and went forward to the middle of the dance room. My stomach grumbled as I walked. I yawned while closing my mouth. I learned to do that thanks to some innocent guy who stated that he was tired out loud. The seniors questioned him, asking whether he was tired after practicing for three hours straight. And that boy replied he was exhausted.

The next day, he was kicked out from the agency.

I closed my eyes for moment. It wasn’t his fault. We all were really tired and hungry. But none of us dared to say one word.

“Everyone! Get up!!!”

Here we go again.

I opened my eyes and when the music starts, I gave all my best yet again. I could see a clock using the corner of my eye as I danced.

4 o’clock in the morning.

I don’t blame any of the seniors or even the agency though. I was the one who chose this path, so I have to take responsibility for it.

 

*****

 

I still remembered that day. I mean who wouldn’t? It was the day I was actually accepted in the company. I didn’t expect it, not at all.

I was the school’s student council vice president, just on the way back home, on foot. I went back late, so there was no one left in school. It was weird not having my driver or my dad here but I didn’t really mind (I never did. My place was not far away from school anyways) because I was far too excited to tell that I finally got a hundred for more than three subjects.

“Dad was going to be so proud.” I thought.

Passing through the oh so familiar route towards my home, I saw a huge group of people, more like a huge crowd of teens. I wasn’t the nosy ajuhmaa type, so I wasn’t really interested but then again, it could be an accident or something that had occurred to someone I knew.

I pushed myself through the crowd. Usually I wouldn’t get through it so easily due to my short height, but thanks to my school bag, people made their way out of getting bump by that thing. I went to almost the centre and saw some people in trendy clothes and that was not all they had in common. They also were wearing a cap. A black cap to be exact. And there was a sign, more like a pink logo stuck on the fabric. I squinted my eyes, trying to make out the shapes on the logo. As I did so, it turned out that it wasn’t shapes, but letters.

“SM Town…” I muttered.

Then it sunk into me. I was thrilled as ever. My dream my friends kept snickering me about, the one that my parents said it was pretty unlikely was just there. I pushed myself against the crowd trying my best to get to at least one of the people wearing those caps but I couldn’t. It was so packed. I felt a little tiny speck of dust on the huge tiles of my living room. True, I wasn’t used to crowded areas since I always had most activities done privately but it was really claustrophobic at the place. I was starting to get suffocated and as much as I want to be an idol, I gave up. I stood still as another thirty people pushed and went in front of me.

I tried, but I couldn’t. There was no way a person with my height could ever fight among this much people. Disappointed, I moved away from the crowd and continued my journey home. As I walked, I sighed, thinking that I should probably think of another ambition now. Being a kpop idol had always been my plans for the future. Despite all those snickers and advices, I still hold on to it and waited patiently to go for an audition. And at this moment, they have come to me. They were right there.

It was so near yet so far.

I stopped from taking any further steps and looked at the beautiful light blue sky filled with cotton like clouds. I inhaled deeply and breathed out slowly. I still can’t accept the fact that I have to let go of my dream.  I hummed a tune of my favourite song and started walking again. I couldn’t help but to open my  mouth, my voice escaping from it. I sang while walking and the wind started blowing gently. I chuckled. Funny, it just felt like I was in some kind of movie.

Talking about movies, I let my mind wander off thinking about my favourite movie. It was a film about a young boy, who was kidnapped. The thing that made me interested in it was the mind cracking clues the kidnapper left. He was indeed very cunning.

I was thinking of one of the clues when someone held my left shoulder. I still remember what I thought during that moment.

. He’s a kidnapper, what should I do!?

I almost screamed for my life, but thank god I didn’t because the person who was the owner of that fair hand on my should was a friendly looking noona. She looked at me with a smile, asking whether I was the owner of the voice of the song she heard. I nodded in response. As if I wanted to lie I said that the trees were the one who sang and besides, she looked really friendly and I’m not in a rush so why not make a new friend.

“You have a nice voice.” She told and I thanked her.

It was a little abnormal conversation because she started asking quite detailed information about me nevertheless I answered all those questions honestly. After finishing bombarding me with questions, she fanned herself with her hand, informing me that it was getting hot. She then reached for her brown Gucci bag and took out something black. She held that item in one hand as she tied her hair into a bun. Then the young woman placed the familiar cap over her head.

You guessed it.

I got street casted.

I went back and told my family. They didn’t really say anything. They weren’t that happy as I was but none of them disapproved and that was all it mattered for me at the moment. My friends knew too and boy, they were surprised. I only told a few though, don’t want the news to pass around school. It would attract girls. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not gay or anything, and I have dated a few girls before (about seven or something I don’t know) but I told you I don’t crowded places, didn’t I? And I’m sure no one likes a bunch of girls who screams and follows you around.

I received a form, filled it in, signed and my parents signed, and I was ready to go. 

 

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