Part Thirty-One: Dongwoo
The Words Unsaid
Part Thirty-One
Dongwoo
“I’m bored,” I shouted as I spun around in a computer chair.
“Take a walk,” Dr. Woonha told me as he wrote something down on a pad.
“But what if something happens?” I pointed out looking at Sungjong’s sleeping body.
“Nothing will happen,” he reassured me.
“But what if it does,” I whined.
“Then it does now be quiet I need to finish this,” he scolded me pointing to a piece of paper in front of him.
“But I’m bored,” I whined.
“Then go stock the shelves,” he told me pointing to a new shipment of tools that littered the floor.
“Fine,” I sighed and I picked up the box and open the closet door. “But afterwards can we go out.”
“Yes just go,” Dr. Woonha snapped.
I nodded and the light to the storage room.
“Don’t forget to put away all of it,” he said as the door closed behind me.
“,” I mumbled to myself.
There were about ten other boxes that filled the room. “I rather be bored.”
I took a deep breath and started to unbox the boxes of different items. I hated to admit it but I kind of liked putting away the random equipment. I hadn’t been much help in the clinic lately although I had given Sungjong a bath once. But Dr. Woonha stopped me and told me that I wasn’t scrubbing hard enough and he took over.
My stomach growled for the tenth time today as I was trying to put away some glass jars full of some type of liquid. I placed the last jar down and grabbed ahold of my stomach which was growling.
When was the last time I had a full meal?
Maybe before the accident?
Just focus and get this done then you can go get a snack with Woonha or maybe we sh-
Suddenly I felt a wave of nausea hit me so hard that it made me stumble into a wall.
Breath.
Ju-
The walls were shaking as if there was an earthquake then suddenly I felt myself falling to the ground holding onto the glass jars.
I could hear jars smashing around my head like a symphony.
Was that my skull breaking? That was the last thought that ran through my mind before I closed my eyes.
“Dongwoo,” someone shouted waking me up from my state.
I looked up to see a young girl wearing a bright yellow shirt with a black infinity symbol on it. Below it contained all the names of the members going in birth order.
“Who are you?” I mumbled grabbing ahold of my head as I sat up.
“I’m your guardian angel,” she told me as she sat next to me.
“My what?!” I shouted.
She covered her ears and glared at me. “I’m your guardian angel!”
“That’s impossible,” I told her.
“Look around,” she said waving her hand around.
I let out a gasp as I finally looked up and was able to take in my surroundings. At first I thought I was in an all-white room but then I realize there was no wall or ceilings there were just whiteness.
“Am I dead?” I turned to her.
“No silly,” she laughed covering . “You’re still back at the clinic.”
Her black hair had gold highlights that were place in a high pony tail. Her round face would make all the females jealous with her perfect white skin.
“Stop looking at me,” she snapped at me.
“Why am I here?” I asked pointing to the white room.
“Because I’m here to show you something,” she pointed out.
“Like what?” I questioned.
“See what your future is going to be like if you travel down this path by yourself,” she informed me.
“I don’t understand,” I told her.
“You will,” she said then with a snap of her fingers I felt the world spinning quickly around. I would have fallen if it wasn’t for the fact that my feet were glued to the ground.
When it stopped I was in a snowy forest. Except I couldn’t feel the cold air or the sun shining brightly against my face.
“Where am I?” I sputtered out. “How?”
“Welcome to 2019!” she shouted excitedly raising her hands above her head.
“2019 that’s impossible,” I pointed out.
“Impossible then how do you explain me?” she laughed.
“You are just a figure of my imagination! In reality I’m just sleeping in Dr. Woonha office,” I told her.
I just need to wake up and things will go back to normal I know it will.
“You can’t wake up until I’m done with you,” the girl told me laughing.
“You can read my mind?!” I shouted turning around to stare at her in shock.
“I’ve been with you all your life of course I can,” she informed me.
“Yeah right,” I laughed.
“Think something,” she told me.
I want to eat something no that’s too obvious what about apple pie. That the same thing as food Dongwoo!
“You want to eat apple pie?” she said looking at me with a raised eyebrow.
“How did you know that?” I took a step back shocked.
“I told you I’m your guardian angel now can we get back to what I need to show you,” she told me.
“What is that?” I asked starting to get annoyed.
“This,” she said pointing behind me. I turned around to see a man walking towards us holding a rifle. He was wearing all camouflage and there were random patches on his shoulder. His face was smudged with dirt and white face paint.
“Who is that?” I asked taking a step back.
“Don’t worry he can’t see you,” she informed me. “Don’t you recognize him?”
“No why woul-“I paused for a minute as my mouth open in shock. “Sunggyu Hyung!”
I started to run to him but the angel grabbed ahold of my arm and pulled me back. We are just in a memory you cannot touch him nor can you talk to him. It’s like watching a movie,” she told me.
I wanted to ask her more but suddenly someone screamed sending my attention back to Sunggyu.
“KIM SUNGGYU!” the voice screamed once again then suddenly a man wearing the exact same outfit as Sunggyu came out of the forest clearing.
“You didn’t save Sungjong and he died so Sunggyu decided to join the army,” she told me. “He was pretty good at it too they even promoted him to a captain last week.”
“He died,” my voice cracked as I felt tears welling up.
“Watch,” she ordered.
“Jinwoo,” Sunggyu said turning around to stare at the man.
“They’re kicking me out!” the man shouted and it was only then did I noticed his eyes were red and tears were falling down his cheeks.
“So,” Sunggyu said coldly.
“Don’t you care,” he retorted as he wiped away his tears smudging his war make up. “I won’t be able to get a job and support my family. My wife just had a baby and-“
“Why should I care? One less problem I have to deal with,” Sunggyu turned away.
“What is up with him?” I asked her. “He never was this heartless.”
“After Sungjong died I guess Sunggyu felt at a loss. No longer a leader he decided to join the army to find a new family to lead. But he didn’t find a family well at least not a family like Infinite. I guess you could say that his heart grew cold without the members there for him.”
“I hate you,” the man name Jinwoo screamed.
Then it happen so fast that I didn’t even have time to close my eyes or turn away. I always thought that my ears would ring when a gun was fired but it didn’t. There was just silence.
“I want to wake up!” I shouted as I closed my eyes trying to erase the limp body lying on the ground staining the snow with red.
“I WANNA WAKE UP!” I shouted.
“Open your eyes,” she said calmly as she rubbed my arms.
“I can’t,” I told her.
“Open them,” she told me once again.
I open my eyes slowly to see that we were now standing in front of a club on a busy street. “He died.”
“Yes he did,” she informed me. “Sunggyu died at the age of thirty-one.”
I turned my head and glared at the girl. “Why did you show me that!? Why?”
“You need to see what will happen if you stay on this path,” she told me. “Only then will you be able to wake up.”
“Wake up? So you ‘re going to force me to see my members die one by one?” I snapped.
“I’m just showing you the future,” she told me. “Come on lets go.”
She grabbed ahold of my arm and pulled me through the double black doors into a dark club.
“Who is it this time?” I asked her.
“Woohyun,” she told me quickly as we walked down a set of stairs.
“Woohyun,” I said to myself. “What year is it?” I asked her.
“2017,” she told me. “I thought you didn’t care.”
“I don’t,” I mumbled to myself.
The club itself wasn’t even full nor did it look clean. There was a bar where two women sat smoking cigarettes and drinking something brown out of a short glass. There were couches that had looked like they had seen it all. Across the room was a stage with glittery curtains and cheap looking decorations.
“Is it Monday?” I asked her.
She shook her head. “Saturday.”
“A club is like this on Saturday?” I said to myself looking around.
“It looks dirty,” I told her over the music.
“It is,” she nodded in agreement.
The music suddenly stopped and a light flickered on to the stage.
I covered my ears as there was feedback from the mic filling the empty club.
“NOW PRESENTING NAM WOOHYUN!!” a voice shouted.
My heart dropped. What happen to my Dongsaeng?
A man walked up to the stage wearing a teal sequins tuxedo and a bright yellow tie. His hair was brushed back into tight bun but there was something about Woohyun that bothered me. The bottom part of his red lip looked scratched or burned.
“Thank you,” he’s voice came out rough.
Then the music started and Woohyun one of the best singers in infinite started to sing.
I covered my ears and looked at the angel with wide eyes.
“WHAT THE F-“
“THANK YOU!” Woohyun shouted in his raspy voice.
If someone had told me that Nam Woohyun would sound like this I would have laughed in their face then told them off for disgracing his name.
But now that I had seen this I at a loss for words.
“What happen?” I asked turning to her.
“Follow me,” she told me as she started to walk towards a door next to the stage.
“Tell me what happen,” I followed after her.
“I’ll explain but just come here,” she said as she open the door without any problem and we both walked into the room. The room itself was small and it was filled with mirrors and chairs. On the right side were a couch and a table full of what looked like dried out sandwiches and smelly kimbap.
“Woohyun is right there,” she pointed to the door and seconds later it open revealing the man. He took of his tie and threw himself on the couch.
“Tell me what happen,” I turned to her but then suddenly the door open revealing one of the woman from the bar and an older men with grey hair.
“Sir,” Woohyun said not looking up.
“We have a customer that is in need of your services,” he told Woohyun.
“Money,” he said holding out his hand.
The woman who was wearing too much make up open her pursed and handed Woohyun a stack of money.
Woohyun sat up and counted the money quickly. “You want the supreme plan?”
She nodded and Woohyun handed the older man some of the bills.
The man took it and placed it into his pocket. “I’ll give you some space.”
Once the door was closed Woohyun started to take off his jacket then his shirt.
“What is he doing?” I turned to the angel with wide eyes.
“I don’t kiss on the lips,” he told her then he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him and started to kiss her neck.
“WHAT IS HE DOING!?” I screamed turning around.
“I think you’ve seen enough,” the angel told me then with a snap of her finger everything paused.
Woohyun was holding the women by her arms and his lips were glued to a spot on her neck.
“Woohyun did the best after Sungjong died. He really got his together if you know what I mean. He joined SM and actually had a couple of albums with Key but there were some fans who thought Woohyun was selfish for leaving Infinite. So one of the anti-fans wanted to teach him a lesson and pretended to be a stylist. He didn’t think of anything when she handed him a drink. They tried everything they could but the acid had already scorned his throat and vocal cords. He would never be able to sing like before,” she told me as tears were already forming in my eyes. “He tried to stay in the entertainment world but the only gigs he could get were sappy talk shows. So he left and joined clubs but they didn’t pay enough so he found other ways to pay his bills.”
“He wouldn’t do that I know Woohyun,” I told her as I looked at my band mate. “He would never give up on his dreams.”
“Maybe when he had good friends by his side pushing him to be the best. Since no one is talking to each other this is what he has become. Now let’s go see Hoya.”
She snapped her fingers and we were now standing in an office that contains cubical with workers working on computers.
“This is where Hoya is?” I asked looking around the dull office. “There is no way Hoya would work here.”
“APPA!” someone screamed turning my attention. A young boy wearing a bright red shirt ran to a door on the other side of the room. The door open revealing a tired man but he still held the same smile.
“He has a family,” I said relived.
A woman came in wearing an unpleasant frown. Her hair was placed back in a tight bun and she held her purse tightly to her side.
“Yeobo,” she called out turning Hoya attention to her.
“Hello,” he nodded and she nodded back.
“That’s his wife,” I almost laughed. She was as far away as you could from Hoya’s ideal type.
“Yes,” the angel told me as we followed the family into Hoya’s office.
The office itself looked like it belonged on a drama everything was perfectly organized. Hoya sat on a leather chair and looked at his family.
“Appa look what I did in class,” he held up a painting that contained a dog at least it looked like a dog.
“That’s good but did you get your homework done?” he asked taking the drawling and throwing it on the floor.
“No his grades are slipping and the teacher has caught him sneaking into the art room,” the wife told Hoya.
Hoya frowned. “No more art classes.”
“B-but Appa I want to be an artist!” the son told him.
“You’re old enough to know better,” he scolded his son.
“It’s my dream,” the son whined as tears fell down his cheek.
“Dreams are silly and you know when you‘re older you’re going to be work here. So throw away your dreams and start working on your grades,” Hoya lectured the boy.
The boy was now crying loudly.
“Now look what you did,” the wife sighed as she pulled out her phone.
“Sojin come here and get him he’s crying,” the woman said into the phone then second later a tired looking woman with a messy bun walked in. She picked up the boy and walked out of the room.
“I need more money,” the wife told Hoya looking at her nails.
“You already spent all your money,” Hoya spat but he still pulled out his wallet.
“I’m taking care of your son,” she snarled crossing her arms.
“Here,” Hoya handed her a stack of money from his wallet.
She grabbed the money hungrily and shoved it into her purse.
“Try to actually buy our son something,” Hoya sighed.
“Sure,” she mumbled as she left the office.
Hoya sighed then sat down at his desk looking at the door. His phone started to ring causing him to slightly jump at the sound. He picked it up then smiled brightly.
“Hi beautiful,” Hoya laughed into the phone.
“My wife just left. How about you come over here and fix my headache,” Hoya laughed into the phone.
“He’s cheating on his wife,” I said shocked.
The angel snapped her fingers.
“Hoya gave into his Father and started to work under the same company. Hoya married his wife out of a deal to combine two companies together. As you can see their relationship has no love. His son on the other hand has the same passion as Hoya but Hoya has fallen into his Father’s footsteps,” she told me.
“But how why?” I said confused staring at my best friend.
“When Infinite ended Hoya couldn’t dance nor sing. He felt guilty going on to the stage again without his friends,” She told me.
“So he gave up on his dreams,” I said to myself.
“Yes,” she told me.
“We were supposed to dance together till we were 50,” I said to myself.
“Ready to go?” she asked me.
I took one last look at Hoya then I nodded my head.
I was now standing in what looked like a nursing home but there was no senior citizens instead I saw people old and young. They were all wearing bright blue pants and tee shirts that contained their names. Some of them were sitting in wheelchairs while others were sitting on chair’s doing puzzles or just talking to themselves. There were a men and women dancing around as if there was music playing. There were people wearing white coats walking around as they wrote something down in a note pad.
“We’re at the hospital’s psychiatric floor,” the angel suddenly said.
“Why are we here?” I asked her.
“Because of him,” she pointed to a man sitting in the corner of the room staring at a wall.
I ran over to him but I stopped when I saw who it was.
“Sungyeol,” I gasped.
The boy whose face held so many smiles and animal impressions was now pale and far too skinny. His eyes were wide as he mumbled something under his breath as he rock back and forth.
“Sungyeol!” I shouted again.
“Like I told you he can’t hear you,” the angel informed me.
“But what happen to him? He was always full of smiles even when he was serious,” I asked her.
“He is still paralyzed with the guilt of losing his brothers. His family couldn’t take care of him anymore and his friends got frustrated by him. They placed him here to get better but it seems like he’s just slipping through the cracks,” the angel informed me.
“He can’t end up like this!” I told her as I felt tears running down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” she told me.
“No please let me wake up please,” I beg her.
“I’m sorry but you need to see Myungsoo next,” she told me then she snapped her fingers and we were in front of a black door.
“This is his parents’ house,” I told the angel even though I knew she already knew that.
“Let’s go inside,” she told me as she open the door.
I followed her into the house and the first thing I noticed was how dark it was then I realized the
apartment was bare.
“Where is all the stuff?” I asked her.
“He sold it all,” she told me.
“All of it for what?” I questioned.
“To live,” she told me. “His parents and brother moved to the states but Myungsoo wanted to stay,” she informed me. “He’s in there.”
“Where?” I asked looking around the bare apartment.
“There,” she said pointing to a closed door.
I walked to it slowly unsure if I wanted to see what he had become. My hand was on the knob of the door but I couldn’t open it.
“If you won’t open the door I’ll do it for you,” the angel threaten.
I pushed it open revealing another dark room but I could see a computer screen on the right side of the room where a man was playing an intense video game.
“Myungsoo,” I called out for him even though I knew he would never answer.
“DIE DIE DIE!” Myungsoo shouted.
I wasn’t sure if it was from the light from the computer screen that made him look horrible or if this was really how he was. His once perfect face looks almost unrecognizable with the dark circles and acne that littered his face. His once slim face and frame was now chubby. He didn’t even look like Myungsoo.
“What happen to him?” I turned to look at her.
“He couldn’t deal with the death of Infinite so he locked himself up,” the angel told me.
“But I don’t understand how did it get this bad?” I turned to her.
“The members didn’t want to see each other or talk to one another. You each ripped each other out of your hearts and that comes with a price,” she pointed out.
“But I wouldn’t let it get this far,” I told her.
“Which bring me to my last part,” she informed me.
“Are you going to show me my future?” I asked her as my heart beat quickly in my chest.
“Do you want to see it?” she asked me cocking her head to the side.
“Yes I have to understand why I didn’t fix it. Why did I let this get so bad,” I told her.
“Are you sure?” she asked me once again.
“Yes,” I told her for certain.
Then she snapped her fingers and I was somewhere completely new.
“NO!” I screamed falling to my knees as I looked up at a square box that held photos of my childhood, my family members, and Infinite members. Next to the photos was a metal jar that held my ashes.
“It can’t be true,” I sobbed into my hands.
The angel kneeled down and grabbed ahold of my shoulder.
“You died a month after Sungjong,” she informed me sadly.
“How?” I croaked out.
“You were hit by a car,” she informed me. “Everything you stood for died and without your members to console you, you fell into a deeper depression. You didn’t even comprehend that the car was coming and by the time the ambulance came you were already dead. Without you there to fix everything your members fell into a dark path.”
“So this is how it ends,” I mumbled to myself.
“Not really,” the angel answered me standing up.
“What!” I shouted standing up to look at her. “So what is the point of all this!”
“You still don’t understand!” the angel placed a hand on my shoulder. “If you do all of this by yourself then this is the path you are going to go down.”
“There is nothing I can do Sungjong is going to die! I’m going to die!” I snapped trying to not stare at my grave.
“I never said that! There is millions of different endings such as you becoming a clown or a teacher or even,” she laugh. “A underwear model.”
“Then why are you showing me all of this,” I snapped.
Her smiling face turned into a serious one. “Because Jang Dongwoo if you do this alone you then this is the future you will be getting. Now it’s time to wake up.”
“What?”
“WAKE UP!”
My eyes open and I was blinded by a light as pain shot up my spine.
Where am I?
A beeping sound next to me felt hammerers against my ears. I turned my head to see that Sungjong was still asleep next to me. I was in the clinic but why was I lying down.
“Oh you’re awake,” a person said next to me.
I turned my head to see Dr. Woonha sitting next to my bed wearing a concern look.
“What happen?” I croaked out.
“Hold on,” Dr. Woonha said then he turned around and grabbed a glass of water off the table. I went to grab it but my arms felt heavy as if I had just worked out.
“Here let me help,” Dr. Woonha said as he helped me into a sitting position then with his other hand he placed the cup to my lips. I chugged the water not really caring how silly I looked because let’s face it I always look silly.
“There,” Dr. Woonha said as he placed the cup down and helped me lay back down.
“What happen?” I asked again this time my voice didn’t seem dry or rough.
“You fainted,” Dr. Woonha answered simply.
“Fainted,” I mumbled to myself.
Dr. Woonha started to explain the story of how he had found me passed out in the storage room but I couldn’t remember anything. The only thing I could remember is the girl and faces of my members. Although they weren’t my members because there is no way they could be my members.
Then it hit me the dream and the fate that is going to happen.
“ANGEL!” I shouted making Dr. Woonha jump.
“Angel I’m not an angel Dongwoo,” Dr. Woonha said. “Maybe I should lower the dose.” Dr. Woonha looked at the IV bag hanging over my head.
“No sorry sir,” I mumbled to myself.
“So Dongwoo like I said your blood sugar was really low. So after your IV runs out you’ll have to eat a large meal.”
“But I’m not hungry,” I answered.
“Listen I know you’re really stressed but you need to eat,” he told me.
“But I ate this morning and for lunch…” I retorted thinking about the small snack I consumed.
“Dongwoo I can’t even remember when you had a full meal with me,” Dr. Woonha pointed out.
“I’m not hungry,” I answered sternly.
“Don’t lie!” Dr. Woonha screamed at me once again.
“I-I”
“Remember what I told you to before,” Dr. Woonha reminded me. “No lying.”
“I-I can’t eat!” I shouted as tears fell. “It’s my fault my brother is over there! The only reason why we were on that road is because I wanted food and I couldn’t wait a couple of hours!”
The truth that was finally coming out and I couldn’t stop.
“Calm down,” Dr. Woonha placed a hand on my shoulder as tears rolled down my face.
“It’s not your fault it’s no one’s fault,” he comforted me.
“If I wasn’t so greedy no one would have die,” I admitted to myself.
“Did they ever tell you why I lived in the forest?” he questioned me.
I wiped away my tears and nodded no.
“I worked my off in medical school and I was lucky to have a wife who stayed by my side,” he told me. “I made top marks and I was able to get into a really good hospital where I worked my way up to become a great doctor. But I had to sacrifice my life with my friends and family and at the time I didn’t care I just wanted to be number one. My wife called and said that my daughter had come down with a bad fever and I actually reassured her to not go to the hospital. I just thought that my daughter was trying to get out of school. A couple hours later my daughter came into my ER with a high fever and she was having a hard time breathing. It had only taken three hours for my life to end. I still can’t get my wife’s reaction out of my head as I told her our daughter was dead.”
My breath had become still and I was at a loss of words.
“I didn’t know,” I told him once the truth has set in.
“It’s something I don’t announce to the world,” he pointed out. “I know how it feels to be guilty over someone dying. If I had told my wife to come sooner my daughter would have been alive today. I replay that moment every day of my life but I know that I can’t fix anything. I know that as much as I wish my daughter to be alive and my wife to be my wife again I can’t have it. I can’t have those things and I have grow to accept it.”
“How?” I asked him because honestly I could never accept Sungjong’s death.
“Time and self-reflecting,” Dr. Woonha answered me. “Being by yourself in the woods gives you lots of time to think about things.”
“The thing is… I don’t think he will forgive me,” I admitted my deepest fear.
Dr. Woonha stared at Sungjong’s limp body. “I don’t know the kid but I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t be able to forgive you. Now I’m going to go and get you some food you just stay here and rest.”
I nodded my head.
“Dr. Woonha,” I looked up at him.
“Yes?” he replied back.
“Thank you,” I told him simply.
Dr. Woonha smirked. “No problem kid.”
Then he left me alone next to my coma induced friend.
I closed my eyes then within second I felt myself falling asleep as if I hadn’t been asleep minutes ago.
♦♦♦♦♦
“He’s still there,” I said to myself.
The visions of the angel warning flashed through my mind like a TV announcement. Maybe she was right I couldn’t do this on my own.
I bit my lip as I grabbed my phone from the nightstand table. When I pressed the home button I was relieved to see it was still alive.
Who should I call?
I looked at Sungjong and took a deep breath who would Sungjong need.
Without even realizing it I started dialing a number into my phone.
Yes he was the one Sungjong needed in times like this.
I placed the phone up to my ear and waited for him to pick up.
“Hello,” a voice answered.
I paused for a second unsure if I dialed the wrong number and I had to double check my phone screen. But I hadn’t dialed the wrong number.
“Hyowan?” I called out unsure.
“Oh Dongwoo sorry Myungsoo is busy I can tell-“
“It’s okay I have to go,” I lied as I quickly hanged up the phone.
I didn’t want to talk to Hyowan he would ask me too many questions such as if I had been taking care of myself or if I’m happy.
I couldn’t lie to Hyowan. He could see my lies from a mile away. I didn’t want to tell him I was lying in a bed with an IV stuck in my arm because I haven’t been taking care of myself. No I didn’t want to worry anyone anymore.
I looked at Sungjong and smiled widely. “Even if we don’t save you I’m still going to be your brother and I’m not going to let this family fall apart. I promise what the angel showed me won’t come true. I’ll make sure that future never comes true. Even if I have to sell all my things or give away all my mon-“
RING…RING…R-
“Hello,” I answered thinking that it was Dr. Woonha just calling to ask me what I wanted to eat.
“Dongwoo Hyung,” his voice screamed making my heart jump into my throat.
“M-Myungsoo.”
Author Notes:
Hello!
I actually was planning on posting this Saturday night like I originally promised but my computer decided to shut down on me and delete all my editing on this chapter which took me forever to do. I was sooo angry! So because I broke my promise of uploading this two night ago I’m going to be doing a double upload today. So enjoy!!
Comments