I pulled my jacket tighter around my body against the cold and accepted the lighter from my friend’s outstretched hand.  We were outside in her tiny backyard lighting fireworks and sparklers in celebration of the New Year just half an hour away.

                I lit the tip of my sparkler and went to sit on the edge of the raised porch.  In front of me, my friends were squealing and shouting as the pyrotechnics popped and burst.  I watched as the shimmering light of the sparkler creeped closer to my fingers.  It had been a pretty stressful year, and I couldn’t really see the next being any better.  I sighed and my breath curled in a puff of white smoke in the chilly winter air. 

                Someone sat beside me just as the sparkler in my hand died out. 

                “Here,” Soonyoung said, holding out his newly lit one. 

                I took it and managed a small smile.  “Thanks.”

                We sat there in silence as the sparkler fizzled and I mentally punched myself for not gathering the courage to open my mouth. 

                The awkward atmosphere around us started last summer.  Soonyoung and I had been friends since elementary school and over the years we developed a strong bond but when he confessed his feelings for me I had chickened out, coming up with the excuses that I wanted to focus on school and that I wasn’t ready for a relationship just yet.  Of course I regretted the words the moment I said them.  I developed a crush on him practically the first day we met, but in reality I was scared that he would somehow like me less if we took it to the next level.  We tried to act like the rejection never really happened, but everyone could tell our dynamic had shifted. 

                We used up all the sparklers until there were just enough left for each person there to have one.

                “Let’s play a game,” suggested Soonyoung with a grin.  “Whoever’s light goes out the slowest has to clean everything up.”

                I raised an eyebrow.  “Aren’t these things supposed to all be equal?”

                “I guess we’ll see,” my friend replied with a smirk, clicking on the lighter. We put the tips together over the flame and sparks began spilling out.  A couple people spun theirs around and blew on them in an attempt to quicken the process.  Soon enough, only Soonyoung and I were left. 

                “It would be great if the person who suggested the game is the one who loses it in the end,” my friend snickered and Soonyoung glared at her.  I watched my light closely, praying that mine went out first so I wasn’t stuck with cleaning duty.

                “Mine went out!” Soonyoung and I suddenly cried in unison.  We looked over at each other, bewildered. 

                “Did you see whose went out first?” I asked my friend.

                She shook her head.  “Guess you guys both have to clean.”  The others laughed as Soonyoung and I groaned.  They shuffled inside to watch the countdown on TV.

                I crouched and started collecting scraps of metal and cardboard, Soonyoung following suit. 

                “Hey, about last summer…” he suddenly began.

                My blood ran cold.  “What about it?” I asked slowly, standing and brushing off  grass stuck to my jeans. 

                “Do you remember what you said?” he asked, stepping closer and dropping a few used sparklers into the plastic bag in my hand. 

                How could I forget his crestfallen face when I told him I wanted to wait until next year before attempting a relationship?

                “Sure.  Why?” I replied cautiously, taking the moment to observe just how tall he had gotten since our primary school years.  Inside the house, my friends were yelling along with the countdown and I looked over.

                3! 2! 1!

                When I turned my gaze back towards Soonyoung, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to my lips.

                “It’s next year now,” he explained with a soft smile as he pulled away.

                I blushed and smacked him in the shoulder.  “I meant next school year, dummy.”

                “I couldn’t wait that long,” he said, taking the plastic bag and holding my hand.  “And the fact that you didn’t push me away tells me that you couldn’t either.” 

                I elbowed him, embarrassed, but he only laughed.  We walked into the house together like that.

                Maybe this year wouldn’t be so bad after all.