Worth it
If It was Meant to Be -“So, um…” Kyuhyun grasped for small talk, “This meal is nice.”
“It is.” Seohyun commented.
They fell back into silence.
The trickling sound of water permeated the air, accompanied by the occasional scrape of silverware. It was dinnertime. They sat outside on the deck, near the fish pool. Dimmed porch lights and flowery scents created a calming ambiance. The sky hadn’t cleared up yet but it still wasn’t raining. That was a good sign.
Sitting around the dimly lit table, Kyuhyun swallowed another bite of chicken. Nervously, he glanced up at his girlfriend. Seohyun wore a placid expression on her face, as she had all day. Sure, she didn’t seem to be icing him out anymore, but the uncomfortable silence didn’t suggest she was happy either.
He racked through his memory again to see if there was anything he’d really screwed up on. Nothing came to mind. Perhaps this silence was just their default now. Their relationship had been on standstill for nearly six months, since their conflicting schedules made date nights exceedingly rare. Though if he thought about it, the last one greatly resembled their current situation.
He had planned out this romantic trip to ‘renew their love’ (maybe due to some desperate pleading on his mom's side) and to try proposing one more time. Some people would think that was too big a move. Kyuhyun didn’t see what the big deal was. They were practically an old married couple already.
“So, Seo,” Kyuhyun coughed, “Did you have fun today?” Like he was asking a daughter, not a girlfriend.
“Yeah, yeah, it was good. Fun,” Seohyun took a sip of water, “A lot better than yesterday”
The image of Ryeowook flitted through his mind; his smiling, laughing, blushing, but Kyuhyun shoved it away. Now was not the time to think of the guide. The petite man was busy working a waitering shift. He’d found it odd that a tour guide would serve tables too but Ryeowook didn’t comment so he didn’t ask. Unfortunately, that left him and Seohyun alone.
“Kyuhyun?”
“Yeah?” He looked up from his dinner.
“Do you know where we’re going tomorrow?”
“Ryeowook said something about going to a … fortress? I think? And town shopping.”
“That’s interesting.”
“Yeah, it’s supposed to be like the most famous location they have here.”
“No: the shopping. Don’t most tours put the shopping at the end, so guests know what’s worth buying?”
“I suppose,” Kyuhyun frowned, “Why do you ask?”
Seohyun shrugged, “I don’t know. It just seems like Ryeowook has these very unique ideas on how to give tours.”
“I suppose-”
"And it's not like I have a problem with foregoing formalities but he's really blurring the lines between worker and friend and it's just...interesting."
"Yeah...it is." Kyuhyun turned his attention back to the dinner, frowning.
Maybe he was reading it wrong, but what Seohyun was implying didn’t sit well with him. Ryeowook had been nothing but helpful since they’d met. Maybe a bit cheeky, but he liked that in a person. Not to mention, Ryeowook had been nice to Seohyun all throughout her ridiculous mood swings, and that was a lot more than he’d accomplished. Really, what did she even want? Under the dimmed patio lights, Kyuhyun could feel his frustrations flaring without reason and his confusion growing, fueled by the calm mask before him which refused to give away its owner’s motives.
When the clinking of forks on porcelain grew louder in silence, he snapped.
“Why?”
“Why, what?” Her reply came fast and sharp, b with the dare to continue his question.
Kyuhyun nearly recoiled at the spite in her eyes. He hadn’t expected a retort.
“Why are you so angry?” His words came out soft and meek.
Seohyun’s eyes softened just a degree. “I’m just tired, Kyuhyun.”
That would have worked yesterday, but today it was just an excuse.
“We’re on vacation, Seo,” He felt so pathetic voicing his concerns. Eyes trained on the last bits of carrot drowning in sauce, he forced himself to keep going, “I planned this so we could be together to relax and talk. For real. Like old times.”
“It’s not old times, Kyuhyun. We have nothing to talk about anymore.”
“We could make something to talk about,” It was nearly a whisper, “We’re on this vacation; seeing great stuff all day … Aren’t you interested at all?”
There was silence for a few seconds then he heard her sigh.
“I guess I was,” His insides clenched. Was. “But when I found … when I found out that Ryeowook was going to be along for everything, I was...angry.”
Kyuhyun looked up, surprised. That was what she was upset about? She must have realized her reason confused him because she quickly went on to explain.
“I mean, Ryeowook’s very nice and all but I feel like he’s helping you a lot - I mean, it’s nice that he’s helping us but not with the romance part because that should be you, I mean us-”
“Seohyun, Seohyun, I get it,” He held up his hands, “You’d prefer to not have a third wheel. It makes sense."
"It does?" She relief painted her face.
"Yeah, yeah. I’ll just tell Ryeowook…” He paused. What would he tell Ryeowook?
As if sensing his doubt, Seohyun grabbed his hands, making him look her in the eyes.
“Look, Kyuhyun; we haven’t had much time together since our promotions and we’re here now and I want to reconnect with you, I do. But it’s pointless to me even try if your attention is going to be split up. You have to still want me.”
“Of course I want you.”
“Then prove it. Or we will not be leaving this island together.”
Kyuhyun’s eyes widened at her last word. Was she threatening a break-up?
Thoughts of marriage and dating and the future flickered through his mind and Kyuhyun realized Seohyun was in every scenario. He’d rebuilt his dreams and started a new life with her by his side. They’d been together so long, a couple of rough patches should mean nothing. And it was nothing. Ryeowook had said it himself: as long as they loved each other, this relationship was worth fixing. It was worth anything.
Kyuhyun nodded. “Okay. I’ll tell Ryeowook we won’t be going on any more tours after tomorrow. We’ll just have him drive us around and make us food, since I already paid for his services.”
“Fair enough,” Seohyun nodded, releasing his hands and falling back into her chair, “But you’ll be making the effort from now on.”
Kyuhyun scrunched his eyebrows a her wording but smiled nonetheless. “Of course, but only if you’re willing to receive it.”
She sighed, “Yesterday was my bad. I’ll make sure to acknowledge every attempt you make at romance from now on.”
“Sounds like a deal.”
He raised his wine and they clinked glasses. Taking a sip, Kyuhyun shoved away the uneasy feeling festering in his gut. It meant nothing. He was probably just worried about hurting the guide’s feelings but that would never happen. Heck, Ryeowook would probably be thrilled that his advice helped.
Smiling at his girlfriend, who for the first time that day smiled back, Kyuhyun let the worries slide off his back. His plan to proposal were back on track. He was leaving with a wife.
______________________________________________________________________________________
Later that night, the soft tinkering of the piano once again filled the lobby. This time, it was a bittersweet tune. One of disappointment and exhaustion, uplifted slightly by a lighthearted sense of kindness. As Ryeowook poured his day into the music, he could feel his mind wandering back to Kyuhyun’s gift only to be struck with the frustrations of everything else.
Ten minutes into the contrasting melody, he gave up. Suddenly, he jerked up. The echo of a slow applause rang in his ears and as he turned to find the source, the wheel-chaired man rolled up next to him.
“Hey there, Chewie.”
Ryeowook smiled. “It’s actually Wookie, sir.”
“Ahh, yes,” He sighed dramatically, “Forgive me, Wookie. Old age is catching up to me now, I’m afraid I keep mixing the simplest of things.”
“It’s fine, sir.” Ryeowook laughed lightly. His boss would always have a youthful mind.
The elderly man smiled back, albeit blankly, then turned to a more pensive expression.
“That was a lovely piece, Wookie. Are you writing any of this stuff down?”
Ryeowook shook his head. “No, this is all just fluff. I’ve been trying to play out how my day went with the piano every night, but none of it’s any good.”
“Now that’s no way to talk. How are you going to get discovered if you never write any of your music down?”
“A lot of past musicians never wrote stuff down and they’re still famous in Asia.”
“They were also poor and blind. Nobody acknowledged them until they were dying and even then it was to ask to have the music written down.”
“Oh. Well, that’s still okay. I don’t plan on becoming famous any time soon.”
“Good, good,” The man nodded thoughtfully. Ryeowook looked at him strangely.
“Well, you don’t write your music down, so by our logic, if you wanted to become famous soon you would have to start dying about now.”
“Ahh…” Ryeowook nodded warily. Conversations with Mr. Parker could be both amusing and disturbing. Honestly, he preferred amusing.
“So anyhow, I’m guessing by that piece your day started badly, then got good, then got really good, but you couldn’t forget the bad things?”
The old man looked at him expectantly, brushing the snow white hair out of his eyes.
The younger shrugged lightly, suddenly bashful. “Almost the opposite, actually. Most of my day was really lousy but then one of the guests I was translating for bought me a gift, and it kind of made my day.”
“Hmm,” Mr. Parker seemed to consider that, “Must have been one hell of a gift. Most of your piece seemed happy.”
“It was a great gift. I mean, it was really thoughtful thing that had to do with what I liked and he obviously knew nothing about it but he still tried and it was just really, really nice…” Ryeowook trailed off, suddenly turning red. He had no idea where he was going with that explanation, and he was starting to sound like Kyuhyun’s fangirl or something.
Mr. Parker however, just patted his back, “You have a good plan, playing your moods into music, but write it down. You’ll understand yourself better when you can see and hear what you sound like without too much in your head.”
Ryeowook looked down, “This wasn’t really meant to be a self-improvement exercise, Mr. Parker.”
“Well, make it one. You won’t have many other chances for personal growth this season!”
The worker chuckled at is boss’s corny words. “Thank you, sir. I’ll make sure to start writing stuff down starting tomorrow.”
“Good! You’ll see. It’ll be worth millions one day!”
“Alright, sir.”
“And Wookie, one more thing before I go,” His eyebrows scrunched in confusion, “I keep telling Colin that there’s something happening in two days and he keeps telling me the music festival is in four days.”
“Well, that’s because it is, sir.”
“No, no,” The old man waved off the comment, “I know that. Colin tells me that every time I ask about this. No, my question is do you know what’s happening in two day? I circled it on my calendar, and wrote you name. I was hoping you would know.”
Ryeowook frowned, “No, sir. I don’t know of anything.”
“Hmm, that’s too bad. I’m so sure it’s something important. I guess we’ll know in two days!”
“Yes, we will, sir.”
Sighing, Ryeowook forced a smile as his elderly boss rolled away back to his cabin. Maybe the man was getting old. Memory loss was one of the signs. But that didn’t change anything. Smiling to himself, Ryeowook pulled out a pen and napkin from his pocket and started to scribble down the chords he’d been playing. Mr. Parker was still the greatest, and that was all that mattered.
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I know this chapter is short. It just didn't merge well with any longer scenes, so I gave it its own chapter. =) Don't worry, though. I still hold my preference for endlessly long chapters, although SeoKyu's scene was fun just for the fact that I had to think from both Kyu's and Seo's perspectives to make their odd conversation work. It's like they talked but communicated nothing. =D
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