Taemin tried to be cooperative and polite as best as he could muster. Mrs. Do was a very talkative person, it was common of her to start a conversation once every minute or so, and despite his difficulties Taemin answered back. Not because he was still exhausted (he was but that was not it), but because his new found (awkward) boyfriend that never leave his side for even a foot. Jongin was constantly next to him, he could feel Jongin’s body heat almost all the time. When he step in to the house, when he put down his bags in Jongin’s room, when he walked the stairs down to the kitchen again. Jongin was always trailing after him. It made him feel giddy because while Jongin was already used to be in love and to be in a close proximity with him, Taemin wasn’t. He’d be spending days under one roof with the man he loved and they’d share a bed. He gulped.

“Taemin?” called Mrs. Do. He missed a question. .

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Do, what was it?” Jongin was shifting uncomfortably next to him.

“Why were you sick? Was it school? Or did you go to sleep very late at night?”

“No, actually,” he chuckled, totally unaware of Jongin’s uneasiness, “I was out in the rain for too long, I didn’t realize it was dark until the rain stopped.” He said still smiling, feeling silly.

Her eyebrows furrowed in concern. “What? Why would you do that? Did something happen?”

“Yeah, I was—“ Heartbroken since Jongin left me all alone and told me to not ever show up in front of him again. He couldn’t tell her that. Just then he noticed Jongin looking down on his lap, bottom lip between his teeth again.

It was half an hour after they had arrived, Taemin not feeling so sleepy anymore since he already had some rest on the way, and Jongin’s mother offered him tea so the three of them now sitting around the dining table, sipping on their respective cups.

He had a feeling that somehow, Jongin hadn’t told his parents about them. It wasn’t that he was hurt by it or anything, he himself hadn’t told anyone. But it did mean that he couldn’t tell Jongin’s parents everything like he had been. That’d be hard because he wasn’t a very good liar.

“—uhm… I had an issue. Teenage stuff. Don’t really like to talk about it but I’m okay now, please don’t worry. Jongin already scolded me a lot too,” He smiled sheepishly.

He felt more than saw Jongin relaxed in his seat. He sighed, at least she didn’t prod further.

::

Jongin woke up to murmurs, hushed and careful whispers of people located very close to him. It was early, he could tell, because there was no sunlight forcing in to his sight, yet. He could feel his soft pillow calling him to go back to sleep and he wanted to but the murmurs wouldn’t stop.

“I think so too.”

…Kyungsoo?

“I’m just happy that hyung isn’t sad anymore when I ask him to read for me at night. It gets weird.”

A deep voice chuckled. “How do you know Soo?”

“He makes noises when he sleep. But right now he isn’t. Yesterday also.”

“That’s a good thing, right?”

Jongin concluded that both Taemin and Kyungsoo didn’t know that he was awake, considering they were talking about him. He could feel Kyungsoo’s body heat, and apparently Taemin was pretty close too. He was actually looking forward to wake up with Taemin in his arms, sadly that didn’t happen. But he had gone to sleep with Taemin in his arms last night, so it was all good.

Last night was… cute. Taemin was cute. He never thought he’d live up to the day when Lee Taemin got flustered.

It was around eight when Taemin went to bed, Jongin follow suit. Jongin locked the door because Kyungsoo would sneak in sometimes at night and he didn’t want that. Truth be told even before they reached the bed, Kyungsoo was calling him and ask him to open the door. Jongin gestured Taemin to not say anything, sooner or later Kyungsoo would leave anyway. And he did, so after a minute or so staying frozen at their spot (so Kyungsoo wouldn’t get suspicious) they lay down on the bed. Jongin would be a dumb if he didn’t notice Taemin’s reluctance, though. His back looked stiff and it was like he didn’t what position he was supposed to sleep in or where to place his legs. The older had seemed fine during the day, so it was whether the bed, or Jongin.

The bed was fine so he guessed he had to sleep with Kyungsoo. True that Taemin was now his boyfriend, but they were still very awkward, conversations didin’t run that smoothly, unlike when they were still best friends. Moments like this often made him rethink of what he did and he can only hoped they’d overcome this awkwardness soon. It saddened him that Taemin was that uncomfortable with his presence but as long as Taemin had his rest, Jongin will be fine.

“I’m sleeping with Kyungsoo. sleep well, Taemin-ah,” He said as he sat up, clutching his pillow and move to get up from the bed when Taemin stopped him.

“But it’s— the bed is too big for me alone.” The older said, sitting up.

“But you need to sleep. And you won’t be able to as long as I’m here.”

Taemin focused and played with the comforter intead, glancing at Jongin once or twice, but not denying it. Jongin sighed. So it was him.

“But I want you to sleep with me… I mean! I—Jesus—I just uh, this whole boyfriend thing is confusing me…?”

Jongin only stared, because what reality was this did Taemin just ask him to sleep with him?

“I just…” He watched as Taemin opened and closed his mouth, struggling to find the right word. He eventually gave up and made a strong grab of Jongin’s empty hand, making him lay down awkwardly on the bed again with his palm on Taemin’s left chest, courtesy of the older.

“You feel that?” Asked Taemin softly.

Taemin’s heart was beating erratically and with Taemin’s condition Jongin turned worried.

“Are you sick?? Do you want me to get you medicine—“

“—Jongin,” Taemin called exasperatedly. “I am not sick. This is me, being a nervous wreck, being this close to you.”

Taemin’s palm that clamped around his wrist was sweaty, and looking at his face right now, there was actually a sheer uncertainty and—pink cheeks..?

“You’re blushing…” Jongin muttered unconsciously. Taemin blushed harder.

“I suppose…” Taemin’s heart in his hand was still beating fast, “Now that you know…” Taemin trailed off, stared at him in question.

What are you going to do about it…?

Jongin looked up slowly, from where his hand was to Taemin’s eyes, and he swore at that moment the thumping went even wilder. Wow, Taemin really felt like this? For him?

Did that heart… really was beating for him?

A rush of pride and joy filled him, it was so strong he could cry hard just feeling it, he indulge in it. This person that he treasured the most... really? Beside that time when Taemin told him he loved him at the hospital, they had never talked about feelings anymore. And it was somehow impossible to cope up with the fact that Taemin loved him back. Until that day, he still thought that it was a mere acceptance.

Sudden boldness rushed through him.

He retracted his hand and sat up again, moving so he was facing Taemin, and scooted closer; all the while locking eyes with on Taemin, who was blinking rapidly and breathing fast. The older’s fists were balled and still blushing pretty pink. It was really cute and Jongin held back from letting out a squeal; must keep his cool.

He held each of the other man’s shoulders and very gently pushed Taemin back to the bed, who visibly gulped. Jongin stared at him tenderly, not wanting Taemin to panic because he wanted him to relax and be calm enough so he could sleep.

He then lay down himself right next to Taemin, his every move being watched. He pulled up the comforter to cover them from the cold and lovingly, he pulled Taemin’s back to his chest. He heard a small hitch of breath and it made him smiled, liking the fact that he had that effect ontaemin, too. He patted the same chest with a heart that beat for him the same way Taemin did back at the hospital. It was indescribable how happy he was and he wanted to jump in glee but it was bed time and Taemin need to sleep so he settled on grinning to himself.

One arm under Taemin’s head and the other around petite waist, he snuggled closer and buried his face in Taemin’s hair. It smelled good.

He was close to slumber when a sweaty palm came up to squeeze his hand.

“I love you, Jongin-ah.”

“Hyung he’s making faces. Look at—he drools! Ew what is he dreaming about? He’s grinning in his sleep— ew morning breath.”

Jongin’s eyes sprung open, and he came face to face with Kyungsoo. He got lost in thought that he forgot there were human beings in less than 10 cm from him. His baby brother was facing him, with his back to Taemin, who was hugging Kyungsoo and also staring intently at him. Jongin could only see the beautiful eyes, because half of the older’s face was covered by Kyungsoo’s head.

Taemin’s eyes were piercing and Jongin couldn’t look away.

Kyungsoo, upon realizing the staring contest only looked back and forth from one to another innocently, mouth slightly open while his hyungs stayed in their own little world. But you see, Do Kyungsoo didn’t fancy being ignored. Not really.

He pushed his body up further to the head board so he was in the same eye level with Jongin and faced him. He fit his head in between whatever space left between the two and slowly, a creepy grin spread on his face.

“Hyung.”

He muttered, watching in amusement as Jongin’s face turned beet red. Now he got attention. Taemin fastens his hold on Kyungsoo’s stomach too, probably laughing at Jongin as well. “You look really ugly smiling like that.”

Jongin coughed and scrambled to sat up, clearing his throat and looked away from the two. Taemin and Kyungsoo snickered and sat up as well, yawning and hugging each other with their eyes closed. Jongin pouted. He wanted morning cuddle too.

“What time is it?” He croaked. He could hear his mother preparing for breakfast down stairs.

“Six, tops.” Answered Taemin, nuzzling his nose to Kyungsoo’s temple. He was sitting crossed-leg with Kyungsoo in his arms, swaying right and left to lull Kyungsoo back to sleep. Jongin frowned.

“How did he get here?”

Taemin smiled at Jongin’s disgruntled tone, and it showed on his reply. “He knocked around five thirty. You were sleeping so I opened the door for him.” Taemin told him. “And we just talked about random things until you woke up.”

Taemin laid Kyungsoo down on the bed as soon as his breathing got even. Kyungsoo could sleep everywhere really.

“I’m sorry he woke you up… you could’ve slept longer…”

“Nah, it’s okay. I can sleep the day away. You on the other hand, should get ready for school.”

Right, school day.

“…Jongin?”

“Mhmm?” Jongin rubbed his eyes. He hated school. He wanted to stay home with Taemin.

“Thank you for last night.” Taemin reached up to him and kissed his cheek. It was slow and gentle and Jongin’s face heat up.

“I um—school—shower—”

“—You’re really cute when you’re sputtering like this. Do you know that?”

Jongin whimpered like a puppy and Taemin pinched his cheek. “Go, Jongin-ah. But come home quick, okay?”

::

It was warm and bright, the cloud wasn’t heavy and the air wasn’t windy. Kyungsoo was playing ball with some kid he didn’t know and he just watched in amusement as they stumbled on their own feet, attempting to chase the ball.

After a lot of coaxing Mrs. Do finally gave him permission to get out of the house and have a little afternoon walk with Kyungsoo, albeit not without three layers of thick clothing. She was very strict about him being in door and under her supervision. But he was bored out of his mind, plus the weather was friendly. He decided to go with Kyungsoo to the nearest play ground and watched him from afar, sitting down in the nearest bench.

Kyungsoo fell down on his with the ball in his possession, and he abruptly stopped laughing, his friend catching up from behind him and stared. Taemin was about to ask if Kyungsoo was okay when the other kid crouched down to do exactly that.

“Are you hurt?”

The kid, who was a little bigger than Kyungsoo smiled, and it was calming even for Taemin. Kyungsoo shook his head and grinned up at his friend, before getting up and started where they left off. Taemin let out a sigh of relief and lay back on the bench.

“Hey,” A familiar voice greeted him.

“Hey,” He said back, patting the spot beside him for Jongin to sit down. “When did you get home?”

Jongin waved at Kyungsoo who spotted him right away. “Not long. I went straight to my room but you weren’t there. I panicked you know.”

Taemin chuckled lightly. “Sorry. Your mom told you I’m here?”

“Mhmm.”

Jongin already changed to short pants, not wearing his uniforms anymore.

“Are you okay being out here?” Jongin asked, and he looked back at the younger with a frown.

“Jongin, do you not see these things I’m wearing? This is more than enough even in winter.” He said as he pinched his sweater to the front with a thumb and index finger until it could stretch no more and unlatched his fingers.

They fell into what Taemin thought was a comfortable silence until Jongin spoke again. “I’m sorry,”

“What? What for?” Taemin asked worriedly.

“…do you mind if we talk?”

Taemin gulped. God forbid Jongin regretted his decision in being together and break up with him. “We are talking though.”

“No I mean. Can you let me talk and promise to listen until I finished and then—“

“Yes. Just get on with it.”

Jongin looked not so good himself, something was bothering him. Taemin could tell and he wanted to ask what was wrong but he promised to let him finished first.

“First of all… I’m sorry. For the other day. When I left you?” Jongin stole a glance to him and looked down to his lap again. “I felt— still do, really bad about it. There are stuffs that I said. I’m sorry, Taemin. I’m… I was being mean. I told you that I didn’t care about you and Jieun. I … I lied. I cared and I’ve always want to know what happened between you two, I just never said it.”

Taemin let out a sigh of relief because they weren’t breaking up. Right…?

“I also told you to not show in front of me again, and it fired back at me that I was the last person to know you were hospitalized. I was very angry that afternoon we fought but it was worst that day when Jino told me because I was supposed to be the first. Instead I was informed by your classmate. It was so wrong and I didn’t mean it. I’m really, really sorry.”

Jongin really looked at Taemin this time, looking for some sort of response. The older had been very silent throughout the talk, they weren’t even sitting close enough to hear sighs.

“It’s okay.” Taemin said finally. “I knew you were… sad, and disappointed… and it could’ve gone worse. If anyone was to be sorry it’s me, really.”

It was Jongin’s turn to get relieved. The apology had been bugging him, what with him not so good in talking about his feelings and all. But he figured it wouldn’t be the first time and it wasn’t the most significant either. Surely it wouldn’t turn out as painful as his love confession and truth be told it hadn’t. He still had one thing to ask though.

“Taemin-ah?”

“Hmm?” Replied Taemin, looking far to the middle of the play ground where Kyungsoo was playing in the sand box, dirtying his sweat pants. He tore his gaze when Jongin didn’t answer. “Yes?” He looked at Jongin expectantly, with a small smile gracing his face.

“I know you love Jieun.” Taemin’s smile faltered.

“I know she means a lot to you. I remember what you said on your birthday, future family and everything. I know she’s… she’s the future you want.” said Jongin in a small voice, once again scared of the answer that he’d get. “I can tell because the way you say her name or anything that’s related to her. I just know alright?”

Guilt was crawling nastily up at Taemin, circling its hand on his ankles and dragged, wrapping its tail on his heart and pulled it down to his stomach. Where’s Jongin going with this?

“So why… why me?”

Taemin stared and analyzed Jongin, not sure if this was a good thing to talk about.

“Are you sure about this?”

No, Jongin wasn’t sure. He wanted to run away and never come back and tell Taemin to forget it. But he needed to know. He needed to be sure that Taemin wouldn’t leave him for someone else.

“Yeah,” Oh God he was so not ready.

Taemin sighed and started, while Jongin closed his eyes tight.

“I do love her.”

Jongin felt the stitches done carefully to close his unphysical scar started to loosen, and his scar opening little by little.

“You’re right. I already set up my future with her in it, being a big part of it. It’s true. She is perfect and I don’t think I’ll ever find any girl better than her.”

“Yeah?” Jongin said sarcastically.

“Yeah.” It was firm and sound so sure and Jongin was this close to punch something.

“It wasn’t easy to let her go, letting her be available for people to snatch and get close to. It was even harder to see her with some other guy. I surely won’t like it. I’ll get irritated and dislike it a lot and would want to get her back BUT.” Taemin paused, “Up until now I can’t find it in me to regret it. I thought I’d mop around for days but I didn’t. Well I did mop around for days but not because of her; there was just this guy I’m so in love with and he wouldn’t talk to me. It was painful by the way. But that’s a story for another time.” Taemin looked up to the bright, orange sky and closed his eyes in content; Jongin was his boyfriend now. “I don’t think I’d ever regret it, either. Because as much as I despise seeing her with a guy, it is no compare to how I’d be feeling if I see you, with anyone else.” He stopped, giving some time for the words to sink in; he wanted Jongin to understand it as well.

“Do you know how jealousy ate me up when you cried to me the first night? I was in grieve for you, yes, but a part of me… a part of me that I learned the hard way to understand, was actually glad. Glad because you didn’t get loved back and you wouldn’t be together. That part of me had cheered, Jongin, because you stayed with me. You stayed—you stayed mine.”

Jongin’s face heated up because Lee Taemin just stated his possessiveness over him.

“I… when you did those things… hugging me and hold my hand and get affectionate…” Cue obvious blushes on two pairs of cheeks, “You crossed the line ‘of hugs and comfort’—“

“—You thought it was comfort?” Jongin asked bewilderedly, now looking at Taemin.

“I thought it was comfort. I thought that was all I am to you—comfort. But you… you did so much more. It was wrong but it felt right and I want it. I want you. And the fact that you’ll treat someone that way… someone that is not me…” He pressed both hands on his face when he felt anger mixed with jealousy rose in him again, wanting it to quickly die down. Jongin also pressed his hands to his face but for a different reason.

“I didn’t choose you, Jongin. When it comes to you there’s no other choice. I love and care about Jieun but I’m not in love. Not with her. I lost you the first time, or so I thought, but I won’t lose you again. You are not to be affectionate with anyone but me and I’m the one to make you feel loved. Me.”

“…”

“Is that enough of an explanation?” he straightened his back from the bench and look straight forward.

“I… y—yes.”

“Good because Kyungsoo’s coming this way.”

Heart hammering in his chest, Jongin smiled widely at his baby brother, trying not to look flustered too much.

Kyungsoo ran on his short and thick legs, his full cheeks bounced a little with each step. Kyungsoo was far too adorable for a seven years old even Taemin was afraid of what people would do to him. Not so far behind the kid that had helped earlier was catching up.

“HYUNG!” Kyungsoo panted, still running but stretched his arms forward and made cute grabby hands at Jongin, who gladly stood up, met Kyungsoo half way and scoop him up in his arms. Jongin buried his blushing face in his brother’s hair.

“Hyung it tickles.” Kyungsoo giggled. Jongin didn’t pull away, wanting to hear more of that laughter that it turned really loud.

Meanwhile Taemin started a conversation with Kyungsoo’s new friend, who was just watching from the gound as his friend was being swung left and right.

“What’s your name?”

“Oh! Annyeonghaseyo!” the boy looked up to see another big guy and instantly bow a perfect 90 degrees. “I’m Jongdae! Kyunggie’s classmate and neighbor!” jongdae smiled and he it was lively, cheerful and bright. He seemed like a good kid.

“Hyung this is Jongdae!” Kyungsoo chirped from Jongin’s hold, wriggling to come down and Jongin let go. “He shares food with me and he smells like strawberry!”

The four walked home with the toddlers joked and laughed in the front, and the teens shared a smile or two once in a while.
 

Jongin fisted his crumpled bed sheet mercilessly. It would probably never be straight again. His heart thumped violently, he could hear blood running from his head head to toe in lightning speed. His chest was heaving up and down, breathing hard but fast. His back was soaked and he was probably trembling, he really couldn’t tell. He didn’t have any control of how his body was reacting. All of his five senses were enhancing and numbing at the same time.

“You look like you’re going to hyperventilate,” the man on top of him whispered with a small smile, their lips grazed the slightest with each syllable the older muttered. “Calm down, love…” every puffs of air that came out of the other’s pretty mouth caressed his face softly, radiating warm to his whole being; to his heart.

But it didn’t help the blood rush.

Taemin sighed, pulling his own hand out of Jongin’s shirt. He slid off jongin but linked their hands, letting Jongin knew that, once again, he was there and there to stay.

“I’m sorry,” Taemin told him, “I guess I’ll kiss you later when we don’t risk getting you a heart attack…”

Jongin, on the other hand, didn’t hear that at all. He was still listening to his blood pumping, his heart slowing down, and breath getting a little more regular. He took a deep breath, blinking a lot in order to be a part of the universe again (he was under the Taemin Spell, which the main effect was to deport you to a whole new world where there was only Taemin to see, Taemin’s voice to hear, Taemin’s beautiful skin to touch, and Taemin’s scent to smell). Then he realized that there was no that perfect human being on top of him anymore, the masculine scent was now distinct. It took him moments to realize the situation and eventually questioned:

Where is my kiss?

“T—tae—Taemin-ah…?”

Wasn’t he supposed to be kissed by, like... now?

“Mmm,” replied Taemin.

The whole feeling of falling off from Simba’s cliff earlier was for nothing?

Why did reality have to be so cruel?

What had he done in his previous life to receive such ordeal?

Did god exist?

Maybe his breath stinks.

“You’re thinking again,” Taemin said tiredly.

“I’m …sorry…” He pouted. Taemin moved to rest on his side, admiring Jongin’s side profile.

“You really want me to kiss you?”

“That’s the most idiotic question of the century,”

“You looked like you were dying.”

“It’s not my fault you’re such a gorgeous man now, is it?” the younger said, a little irritated. And cue the rosy color spread all over his face as it dawned on him what just came out of his mouth.

Taemin blinked.

heart attack.

“I mean—what I was going to say is that, you’re—”

Jongin never got to finish his sentence. Taemin had kiss him, one palm on the younger’s cheek, who took a sharp intake of breath as Taemin’s lips moved on his for the second time ever. His lips trembled, his breath stuttered, and his heart pounding hard; it happened all over again. But this time, there was no gap between them.

Taemin’s lips were moist, plushy, and chewy. And pink; they molded with his in the most passionate way. They moved slowly as Taemin was back on top of him. The older was being very patient, caressing Jongin’s jaw thoroughly, running his index finger on his cheek bones. Their lips were closed, Taemin pressed down tenderly, gently moving their lips together.

Jongin gained confidence as seconds went by, he cautiously reached up to hold on Taemin’s waist, another hand on the small back. He was so close to falling apart; just a week ago he was crying in the back of a building for hours, all alone in the cold night. A week ago he was crying for he would never get the one man he loved to love him back, the same man that was now kissing him; that was now his.

Don’t cry, he told himself. Taemin loves you. He loves you, don’t cry.

Taemin hummed in approval at Jongin’s initiative, finally dared to nip the slightest on the other’s lips. Jongin’s hold on his waist tightened and he wondered if he went too fast, but it loosened as well. So he continued on tugging the full lips on his, getting bolder every other time. Jongin let out little noises whenever he tug on the younger’s lips a bit harder. It was really cute.

This beautiful boyfriend of his.

He detached to let Jongin breathe, and started to trail kisses down Jongin’s jaw. He liked Jongin’ jaw the most, it was the feature that got him the manly vibe. Because Jongin’s face was just downright pretty. His eyes eats the cake though, it’s the prettiest, the most beautiful.

He took his time worshipping every inches of skin there, bit just a little harder at that spot below the ear lobe, in which Jongin almost crushed his hip bones because of it; it made him smile.

“T—Taem—hhh…”

Cute little noises.

y.

He went back up the same track, and after he bit the whole of Jongin’s chin, he dived in for the plump lips again.

Jongin was more ready this time. He tugged at the older’s bottom lip, it. He felt Taemin grinning and kissed him just as passionate. He knew the older was letting him to do whatever he wanted. A hand slipped back under his shirt again, the fingers his stomach and sides. He gasped and Taemin slid his tongue inside to the sweet cavern of Jongin’s mouth.

Jongin moaned, he did not anticipate Taemin to be such a kisser. Jieun—that girl was so damn lucky. At that thought he held on tight to Taemin's neck and pushed it down, closer, deeper. The tongue inside his mouth all over, and he felt so hot he’d explode anytime.

“H—h—hyung…?”

Taemin pulled away first, mainly because Jongin couldn’t. He lifted his head just a few inches to take a good look at the other. Jongin resembled someone who just finished a marathon. He was panting, glistening lips slightly opened, face covered in sweat. There were sweat beads on his eyebrows what the hell. It was probably really hot for Jongin since Taemin was practically squeezing him to the mattress, so he lifted up to slid off but Jongin pressed him back down.

“Wait,” Jongin whispered. “Let’s, let’s stay like this—just a while.”

Taemin obliged, and smiled dreamily when Jongin pecked the top of his head.

“You know, I thought I heard Kyungsoo.” Jongin said.

“Hyung.”

The lovers froze.

“Dinner’s ready.”

Kyungsoo was standing in the middle of the room, staring blankly at his hyungs. After he said what he needed to say he turned around and walk out, leaving the door opened wide.

“Mom is going to murder me.”

::

Monday was hard. Taemin was gone for almost a week full and he ran from one teacher to another the whole day, asking the tasks he had got to do last week. Math was pure torture. He missed a test. He also didn’t get even one glimpse of Jongin and he mentally tried to move the damn clock needle to struck 12 already, only to no avail. It was the longest five minutes he ever had in his life.

When the bell finally rang, Taemin let go the breath he didn’t know he was holding. Finally. He spent sometimes to just sit down on his seat, and then he swung his backpack to his shoulders, standing up. The class was empty already. To his surprise, Jongin was already outside his class waiting for him, his smile shy. Taemin grinned. He approached the younger enthusiastically.

“Hey boyfriend,” he slumped his body onto Jongin, who held him just in time.

“Tired?”

“Mhmm.” He hummed to the younger boy’s chest. “I don’t want to go to school anymore. Let’s just volunteer for Unicef or something.”

Jongin just smiled at him. “You’re a book smart, Taemin. You love school.”

“No, I love you.”

Jongin buried his face deep in Taemin’s neck.

“You’re blushing to your ears aren’t you, Jongin? You must look like a tomato right now.”

He got a light pinch on his side. “Ouch?”

“Quit teasing me,” Jongin whined.

He laughed hard at that. “okay, okay. Say it back first. I’ll consider to not to for a week then.”

Suddenly Jongin’s nose was on his. “Really? If I said it back you’ll stop throwing me and not to be rude again?”

“Maybe. I said I’ll consider.” The younger made a face. “No? that’s fine.” Taemin untangled himself from Jongin and walked in front a couple steps. “I’ll just tell your mom that you brought me red roses when I was sick. She’ll like that I think.”

“What’s wrong with that.” Jongin truly didn’t know, but somehow he knew that it was bad. When the Lee Taemin used it for threatening, then it was bad.

“Red roses,” The older started, sounding so much like a lecturer speaking about the most interesting topic of the semester, “Means of deep love, and affection.”

Jongin’s face reddened, because where was this even going, did splaying out his way of confessing really needed? He felt . Okay, so he was embarrassed, so what? His mother wouldn’t make problem out of this.

“But red Roses also,” Taemin kept on walking, “Has another meaning: desire. Red is the color of consummation, they said, of raging desire and craving passion. Therefore red roses, speaks of love that waits for a passionate expression. So, you, Kim Jongin,”

Oh no.

“I was sick and you were already trying to get into my pants.”

“…”

“Do you know how I felt when I saw you with a dozen of it in my hospital room? I just found out I like the same gender and you were practically—”

“Lee Taemin!”

“How do you think she’d reacts, Hmm?”

“FINE!”

Taemin turned around swiftly with style because he was a born-dancer and he was cool. He tilted his head to the left, eyes bright, looking expectantly. There, two meters from him Jongin was composing himself, arranging his breath so it wouldn’t get in the way when he said whatever he was about to say. True, Jongin was the first one to fell in love between them, also the first one to confess his love between them, but afterwards, he hardly ever said them again. Back when Taemin didn’t know yet where his heart laid, Jongin was all bold, daring and pushing their border lines here and there. Now that they finally belonged to each other he couldn’t even kiss without his face flushing. It was oddly endearing though.

Jongin cleared his throat nervously.

Taemin stifled a laugh, and Jongin glared at him. He raised his hands in surrender. Jongin finally opened his mouth.

“Get... get back here.”

“…”

“…”

“…what. What’s that even.”

“No… I mean come closer…” Taemin did as he was asked and stood face to face with the younger. Tentatively, Jongin took his hands and twined their fingers together. Jongin was sweet, alright.

“I…”

Jongin closed his eyes.

“I… love how you look in your uniform...”

“Um.”

“I… love… your scent.”

“… That is actually creepy.”

“I… love how you always think of others first before yourself, although you never really show it. I love how you’re so smart, and you take school seriously. I love how even when you’re angry at me you still take care of me all the times. I love your body heat, it gives me excuse to be near you. I love the way you caress my cheeks. I love when you’re wearing red shirt, you look most handsome in them. I love that sometimes when you’re daydreaming you unconsciously play with my fingers, it makes me feel like you really love me, even before you do. I love the way you move when you dance but I think you already know that? I said it a lot already. I love the way you love me, although at times it’s very annoying. I love how, even without you saying the three words it’s like you’re singing it to me every time we speak to each other because your eyes are so sincere.  I love your voice, I love your smile, I love your kisses,” Jongin opened his eyes,

“I love you, Taemin-ah.”

Taemin got pulled in right when tears tarted to roll down his face.

“You little ,” He said between hitches of breath, voice muffled by the taller man’s shoulder. “I love you so much.”

::

The mall was crowded, there were many families and little kids running everywhere. Jongin wasn’t very fond of children except his little Kyungsoo, but this time was okay because Taemin was walking next to him and holding his hand. It was their official first date, and he was very excited about it that he practically jumped when he opened his door to a beautifully-smiling boyfriend on his doorstep this morning, in all his red shirt glory. Taemin only chuckled at him.

“Good morning handsome. Ready to go?”

It was the gayest sentence Taemin had ever said to him, yet he melted anyway.

“I um, I’m get—getting my shoes and then we’re good. To go.” Dammit, who allowed him to smile like that?

“And here I thought we’ve passed the stuttering phase,” Taemin tsked.

“I don’t stutter. My tongue slipped.”

There had been one point where holding hands with Taemin had sounded so delusional, so now that it actually happen it felt too impossible; he looked down a couple times every minute just to make sure that he wasn’t imagining things. It was stupid but he couldn’t help it.

He heard Taemin sighed, and not a second after, they weren’t holding hands anymore because Taemin shoved his into his jeans pocket. Jongin blatantly whined at the loss and grabbed Taemin’s hand back, holding it tight this time.

Taemin stared pointedly at him. “I thought you don’t like it. You kept on looking at it.”

“You keep on looking at something because you like it, Lee Taemin. Not the other way around, what logic is that.”

Taemin shrugged. “So you’re saying you don’t mind public display affection?”

Jongin snorted, “I do PDA all the times. You just never—“

…

…Did Taemin just pecked him on the lips?

Good to know, he heard Taemin said distinctly. So I can kiss you whenever I like, cool.

“That was our first public kiss ever...” He muttered in daze. It was the first time Taemin kissed him with people around. It felt really, really good. He heard of how first-time gay guys would go on a date and how they’d at some point pretend like they weren’t on a date because they couldn’t cope up easily with the idea that they were going out with a guy. Jongin had braced himself for the pain that would come with it that maybe Taemin wouldn’t touch him at all but here he was standing with his lips still tingly from the chaste kiss Taemin had given him.

Taemin stepped in front of him and faced him, circling his arms around his neck and kissed him with his mouth opened. In the middle of a freaking mall. Jongin’s eyes grew wide, parents judging them before his eyes. There were already people clearing their throats unnecessarily loud (or was it) but Jongin was lost and once his eyes slipped close, he wound his arms on Taemin’s torso so tight that the elder gasped. They stumbled a bit, Jongin taking the lead. When he pulled back Taemin was breathless and flushed and all kinds of pretty and, dominating isn’t so bad.

 “And th—that was our second. I promise our,” A gulp, “Third ‘till tenth will happen today too.” Taemin choked out, eyes still closed.

That was the sound of Jongin’s heart rocketed to the sky. He knew his grin was creepy right now because Taemin was cheesy and it was gross but it was more than acceptance, it was more than anything he ever wished for. He lifted Taemin off his feet in an instant and spun, laughing to Taemin’s chest at the elder’s very, very manly shriek (sarcasm intended).

He was gonna put Taemin down since it was the mall, it was packed, and it was enough of self humiliation for the day when a voice he didn’t really want to ever heard again reached his ears.

“I see the new found lovers are happy,”

It was more of a tease than mock, but it still bothered Jongin to no end. He stopped spinning and sigh. Before he lowered Taemin properly, the said jumped off and turned around to face Jieun, who was with a guy… Cho Jino? Again?

“Jieun-ah!” it was too cheery for Jongin’s liking but at least, at least there was no embarrassment in it. Taemin didn’t sound like someone caught red handed, which was how he had expected Taemin to, since… well, he was being gay out in the open. In front of the girl.

Ah, he really shouldn’t be thinking this way about her. Taemin had told him that the two stayed as friends, so he had to try to make peace with Jieun.

The keyword being try.

Jieun smiled, ruffling Taemin’s hair, who leaned in to the touch. And then Jongin saw his boyfriend noticed Jino’s arm draped casually on her waist and Taemin glared.

What.

Jongin didn’t sign up for this. He didn’t want to see this.

“Fancy seeing you here.” Taemin teethed with a forced smile. Jino blinked, a lot. Didn’t understand why he’s getting all the hate.

“…thanks? Nice seeing you too, bud. So you’re boyfriends now?” Jino nodded at Jongin, trying to change the conversation and it worked.

“Oh right! I’ve never introduced you to Jongin properly,” Taemin talked to Jieun, clearly ignoring Jino’s presence who merely cocked his eyebrows.

Thanks for stating that you forget that I’m here, I really appreciate it was dripping from his mouth but he it back.

“Jongin this is Jieun, my new best friend. And Jieun this is Jongin, my boyfriend. Handsome isn’t he,”

Taemin smiled up at him admiringly, lacing their fingers together again and Jongin refused to be happy or blushed because he was supposed to be upset still. Nope, not gonna blush. Nu-uh.

(His cheeks turned crimson red and Taemin chuckled, squeezing his hand.)

“Hey, Jongin-ssi. It’s good to finally meet you,” Jieun smiled politely, it was pretty and no wonder Taemin had fallen for her. She wasn’t Jongin’s type of girl though.

“Jieun-ssi.” Jongin nodded coolly (coldly?). “Nice finally meeting you, too.” Jongin smiled. Kind of.

“So what are you and Jino doing here?” Taemin focused to the pair in front of them again. Jino looked back and forth between Taemin and Jieun because there was an absolute tension (from Taemin’s part, obviously) between the two. Jongin did the same.

“… hang out, obviously? We’re going to…”

Jieun explained their plan that day but Taemin was far from amused. The tension was getting worse. It was clear his boyfriend had an unfinished business with his not-so-ex-girlfriend and he was sure as hell not going to witness whatever that was about to go down. (He wanted Taemin to finish it though.)

“Let’s see what’s inside,” He loudly said while grabbing Jino’s elbow and dragged him to the store they’d been standing in front of, the staffs were still stealing glances at the just-having-done-making-out couple through the glass. Jongin didn’t look around or to where he was going. He just walked, not talking and when he thought he was far enough, he stopped. Jino talked first.

“…So why are we in the women underwear section again?”

Jieun stared at the two retreating backs, and disapprovingly looked back at Taemin. She was going to ask him questions and Taemin knew that but she was gonna have to wait.

“I saw his arm. Don’t even deny it.”

Jieun squinted her eyes, eyebrows furrowing before they soared high in realization.

“You’re jealous.” Her eyes widened in disbelieve. “Taemin, you can’t just—“

“It was not even a month away from me and you go out with a guy already? With my classmate, of all people? Do you even know him?” Taemin accused.

“…He’s one of the best tenors of our choir and I’ve known him longer than you but do you even look at yourself? Jongin’s your boyfriend even before a week after—“

“—It’s different.” Taemin looked away. Busted.

“How’s that any different? And you can’t just—Jino doesn’t deserve being treated like that. You’re not in the position to do that.” Jieun shook her head. “And you’re being jealous in front of Jongin, are you even thinking straight? How do you think he feels right now?”

He cringed when Jongin’s name was mentioned because yeah, he kinda lost it right there and he must have hurt Jongin, again. But Jieun was in front of him and she was still his major concern right now.

“I—“ Taemin wanted to defend himself but he couldn’t find the words, since he was practically the wrong here (but that arm thing was highly unnecessary!) plus it was the first time Jieun scold him and it hit him hard. He felt bad because she was disappointed in him, and he swore to not ever get to be in this condition ever again. He sighed. “Just… are you… are you together now?”

“No, we’re not. Now go apologize.”

Taemin looked away and rested his elbows on the closest railing, looking down at the floor below them. “Told you I won’t like it, though.” He mumbled.

Damn, he really didn’t like it. He hated seeing Jieun in the arms of anyone.

Jieun came up next to him. “Then break up with Jongin, be with me and let him love someone else.”

“WHAT,” Taemin shouted and again, he was making a scene. “NO. I’M NOT GONNA—THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. ARE YOU CRAZY?!” Let Jongin go she said?? Over his dead body. It would never happen in his lifetime. When it happened Taemin would be dead. He’s not giving Jongin up for anything, for god’s sake. Over his ing dead body.

“…Then stop it, Taemin-ah. Stop. Quit it.” Her gaze softened and her tone gentle, Taemin felt like a really really bad kindergarten kid and he got his favorite teacher telling him that he did wrong. It made him feel worse. He groaned.

“…I will. I’m sorry.”

He was sorry. He was sorry for himself because Jongin hated him again and his life was now officially miserable.

It took him and Jieun a while to find Jongin and Jino, both looked suspiciously a tad bit flustered. Taemin was a gentleman so he apologized properly, and let Jino and Jieun left first before dragging Jongin to the nearest rest room and pushed him to one of the stall, locking the door behind him. Jongin was silent and indifference the whole trip and Taemin’s anxiousness was going to turn him to a pile of pathetic little nothing.

He moved to make himself trapped him between the younger and a wall. He slid his hands around Jongin’s waist and laced them on the small of Jongin’s back, resting his head on Jongin’s chest faintly before he spoke.

“Go on. Get angry at me.”

Jongin was giving him the silent treatment, it seemed like. he couldn’t stand it. It was all he could do not to grab the other boy by the shoulders and shake him to TALK TO ME GOD DAMMIT.

“You’re being unfair. How am I supposed to do that if you’re invading my personal space like this,” Jongin was surprisingly calm for someone angry and Taemin thought it was one of those before the storm moments and it scared the out of him. He let Jongin go instantly, pushed a bit too roughly and muttered a couple sorry’s and looked down in shame.

It was quiet, Jongin taking his time making Taemin felt guilty (or so Taemin thought) and Taemin begged the floor to swallow him whole.

There was a sigh from Jongin before, “I’m not angry.”

“…”

What did Jongin mean, he wasn’t angry?

‘I’m not angry, I just think we don’t belong together so I guess it’s best if we break up’?

No no no no no—

“I understand. You did say you love her. It hurts and I don’t like it but I can handle it. You’re being protective because she’s important to you. I know you’re sorry too, I understand.”

fear turned to guilt and Taemin banged the back of his head to the wall because he had the kindest boyfriend and he was such an .

“How’d it go with Jieun?” Jongin ignored his dumb act and asked instead. Taemin told him briefly, how Jieun had scolded him and asked him a testing question. He dared not to look at Jongin in the eyes.

“So this won’t happen often right?” Jongin said, voice dropping and octave lower, moving as slow as one millimeter every second, closer to Taemin. “We’ll still be together?” he gripped Taemin’s hips. Taking that one little step left and their front touched. The question triggered Taemin to talk, finally. Looking at Jongin properly in the eye.

“Are you ting me Kim Jongin I’m not gonna break—“

Jongin latched his lips to Taemin’s own, the pairs of muscles moving in sync. It didn’t start innocently, Jongin rubbed his thumb on what little skin of Taemin’s hip. Taemin let out a low moan at the unusual gesture and Jongin slid his hot tongue in.

The elder frantically clawed on Jongin’s arms, holding back from because Jongin kissed him differently; much less affectionate and much more sensual. This was a new territory none of them ever bother to breach before. It freaked him out but he couldn't bring himself to push Jongin away; he felt this was wrong for them to do but going with it was really the least he could do to made up for his ness towards the younger male.

Jongin Taemin’s tongue greedily that Taemin’s head spun. He didn’t see any of it coming, didn’t understand why Jongin was kissing him but it was so good. He’d probably be embarrassed about it later, but right now Jongin was dominating and it was the iest side of Jongin he’d ever come across.

He panted heavily as hands were roaming under his shirt, mapping his body. One of them rested on his left chest, feeling his racing heart beat, the other slid up and down his back, barely touching. His skin covered in shiver and he was sure Jongin could feel it. Mewling, he nipped back at Jongin and pulled him closer.

His heart was beating in an unhealthy speed, his pants were getting tighter and oh god the way Jongin held him. By the time he took a breath he was a mess, shirt only cover half of his upper body, face covered in sweat and Jongin was his jaw.

He fisted the back Jongin’s shirt, the younger hunching down to bruises on his neck.

“Jongin.”

His mouth fell open, throaty breaths coming out short and heavy. It was a public place and he knew he shouldn’t be loud but Jongin made him forget it all; Jongin smelled good and the things he did with his tongue was amazing. He grabbed Jongin by the hair and kissed him again. They moved fast and Taemin couldn’t decide where to hold onto. Jongin was devouring him and Taemin was falling apart. His knees were going to give up any second now, what with Jongin had one palm on his , bluntly groping. There was a thumb rubbing one of his buds teasingly and this was officially their dirtiest make out so far, it was sinful and he (although shamefully) didn’t want it to end.

But then Jongin’s thigh settled between his legs.

“Jongin stop.” He breathed.

Jongin did stop, pulling back slowly and pulled down Taemin’s shirt. He waited until the elder opened his eyes and kisses his forehead.

“I love you,” Jongin whispered.

Taemin blushed slightly at that, still panting. He must also look ridiculous because Jongin chuckled at him and hugged him tight, both aware of and tried to ignore each other’s half hard-ons.

Jongin let him go but held his neck affectionately, rubbing his thumb and nudges Taemin’s cheek with his nose.

“I love you too,” he muttered back, Jongin smiled at him.

“What are we having for lunch?” Taemin asked as he evened out his breathing, lips ghosting against Jongin’s collarbones.

“Whatever you want, I guess. since I’ve had mine.” The youth winked.

Jongin got hit in the chest and a, “You’re a terrible boyfriend why do I love you so much,” in return. 

„Chapter Six”