Chapter One

Taemin was drenched the first time he met Jieun. He had ran from the school building to the nearest convenient store. He remembered he got no ramyun left and what could be better than ramyun on a rainy day like this? Soup, probably, but who would cook it for him? That’s right, no body. He lived alone in the capital city of South Korea.

The store was crowded and he had to wait about five people before his turn. He was about to pay to the cashier when he ransacked his backpack after groping his pockets harshly and mortified when he realized that his wallet was not with him. ing hell, where the hell is— he faintly recalled his conversation with Jongin at lunch hour. Jongin played with his wallet and Taemin was too lazy to snatch it back. The bell rang then, and he went back to class without it.

 Jongin. That piece of .

People behind him were starting to get impatient because that was a long line indeed, and Taemin didn’t know what to do since he couldn’t cancel his groceries anymore and the gaze given by the cashier made him wanted to dig a whole and buried himself.

“Count them all in, please.” A feminine voice said from behind him.

Taemin’s head snapped up real fast he could’ve broke his neck. She had this slightly annoyed look (pretty. No Taemin this is not the right time to think that way), probably in hurry and Taemin made her late and now she was going to pay for his groceries instead and to made it worse, she wore the same uniform with him; they’re from the same school (Lee Jieun, her nametag said). He mentally started to search some spot to really dig and buried himself alive.

Taemin just stared dumbly, let her paid for it and followed after her. Only once they were outside, when she handed him a plastic bag with his ramyun in it that he realized what had happened.

“Jeez I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, I’ll make it up to you, I am not usually walking around without my wallet I swear,—”

“—do you need an umbrella?”

“…?”

“Do you want me to lend you an umbrella?” she tilted her head to the sky just a bit and Taemin followed and oh, it was still raining. And he was totally wet. The girl glanced at her watch and she clicked her tongue. “Look, here.” She took his hand and gave him the plastic bag along with her umbrella.

“But—you—” He already felt bad and what now, she borrowed him an umbrella, too? How did she plan to go home if he got her umbrella?

Just then Jieun pulled out another one. “You can keep it,” She gave him a small smile. “I should go.”

And just like that, she ran through the rain. Her long, sweet brown hair flowed gracefully, taking a tiny piece of Taemin’s heart with her.

::

From: Byuntae

17.45 PM

My wallet, you piece of .

From: Kkamjong

18.05 PM

Woah there.

From: Byuntae

18.08 PM

I CANT PAY MY FREAKING GROCERIES

Incoming call

Kkamjong

Taemin exhaled deeply. He pushed his ramyun away a little (the ramyun Jieun bought him, he reminded himself) and wiped his mouth. He picked the call up and even before he said hello,

“Where are you? Why don’t you tell me earlier? Are you okay? Are they holding you in their manager’s office or something? they’re not taking you to the police aren’t they? Tell me where you are and I’ll go—” Taemin could hear Jongin running down the stairs and rustling sound of him putting on his shoes and a muffled ‘MOM I’M OFF TO TAEMIN’S’ so he decided to just told the other coolly, “I’m home. Get back in. It’s still raining.” He could tell that Jongin was already outside because there was the faint sound of the rain from the other end of the line.

“…oh? You’re home? How did you get out?”

“Get back in first.”

“I’m not outside. I’m inside my room. I’m not outside.”

Right.

“Whatever. Just don’t forget to bring it tomorrow.”

“What happened?”

“Long story.”

“Did you run your off?”

“You little—”

“—tell you what. I’ll be there in ten minutes, alright? I can’t keep this wallet any longer, man it stinks. You should stop slipping it in your back pocket—”

“I will kill you.”

Jongin chuckled. “I’m on my way.”

Taemin sighed. Finally. Its just him and his glorious ramyun. Alone. Ever since his birthday Jongin just wouldn’t leave him on his own and it got him frustrated because he’s 18, for god sake. Jongin being all worried about him just felt wrong, not to mention how impossibly not making sense they were at times. Taemin never complained because Jongin could do whatever he wanted as long as its not against the law. Because they were best friends and that’s just how things worked.

::

Jongin regretted his decision. Dammit, if he knew the older would blabber about a girl like this he'd better go play with his brother Kyungsoo. Or drowned himself in the sea. Anything.

“I think I’m gonna find her and give her umbrella back. I gotta ask her out. Right, Jongin?”

“…”

Taemin nudged Jongin with his foot. “Yah.”

“H-huh?”

“I should try, right?” Taemin said. “I think she’s the one. I know I didn’t waste my seventeen years of life for nothing.” He slurped his ramyun soup done and finished with an ‘ahh’.

“……yeah.”

Taemin noticed the other’s odd tone and he wondered why.

Jongin, on the other hand, was devastated. How he wished it never happened. How he wished he wasn’t such a curious and peeked inside the other’s wallet and wonder if there was his picture inside (there was, and he was happy about it but now that things turned out like this…). It was selfish of him but really, he wished there would be no girl Taemin would be attracted to.

“Are you hitting on her?”

No response.

“Kim Jongin.”

“Huh? What? You said something?”

“Is she. One of the girls. That you hit on.”

It took Jongin a while to register what the other meant, and by the time he did, he answered with panic. “What?? No! I haven’t even heard of her! She’s not famous. Why would I hit on her. You know me. She’s not my type. Really.” Jongin paused, and continued in a smaller voice. “I’m quitting, remember…?” For you, he wanted to add.

Taemin stared at him for a good ten seconds.

“Good.”

Jongin let out a heavy breath. Any longer he stayed he would turn to ash.

“I think I should head back,” he said. “It’s not raining anymore.”

Taemin nodded. “Okay.” He then stood up, and stared at Jongin with uncertain look. “We’re cool right?”

“Cool? Yeah. Yeah,” Jongin stood up as well. “Yeah we’re cool. What makes you think we’re not,” he chuckled awkwardly.

“You’ve been in god knows where the whole time I talked to you and you’re awkward.” Taemin pointed out. “I’m here you know. You can tell me if something wrong. Something is wrong, I’m not your best friend for nothing, Jongin, I can tell.” He added when Jongin opened his mouth to deny his statement.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” And it was, really. It took time for Jongin to tell things, while Taemin opened up faster. They understand each other enough that Taemin didn’t push it, and Jongin didn’t scare away.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Taemin said when Jongin was in his doorstep.

“Mmm,” Jongin replied gloomily. Taemin squeezed the other’s shoulder softly. It got Jongin stared at him. Wow he really is sad, Taemin thought. He was sure Jongin didn’t look like this when he came in, so was it something he said? But Jongin told him they were cool.

Jongin hugged him tight all of a sudden.

None of them said anything.

 Yeah, they were cool.

He hugged him back just as tight. He knew Jongin would tell him eventually, he only hoped the other wouldn’t hold it too long, because he really wanted to help.

::

Where did he do wrong?

Did he miss anything?

Jongin walked home with his head hung low. He was desperate. There was this massive grieve in his chest and it didn’t matter how deep, how many times he breathe, it still wouldn’t go away. Just why should he hear that? Taemin was his best friend for years, he was ten when he first met him and they soon joined in the hip. He wanted the older to be happy, always had been. Always would, just these days, it was happy… with him.

Jongin was in love with his best friend.

He stopped going out with random girls for Taemin, although he never said it. I’m a third year, I need to study more I guess was all he said when Taemin asked what was up. “Wow really?” Taemin laughed, “I never thought you’d ever reach this point. But it’s good. I’m kinda proud.” It was not a total lie either, because he did want to study; he was already clever so he never really put any effort on studying but at this point he’d do anything to be presentable to Taemin, so Taemin would see him as someone worth to be with.

He knew Taemin’s type really well. Pretty hair, pretty skin. But more importantly smart, and knew what she wanted or who she was. She didn’t need to be extremely sweet and shy, just loyal. And Jongin thought he could do that. He was halfway there.

Why should this Jieun pop up?

Kim Jongin was always the player. Ever since he was thirteen, girls followed him everywhere like the mother hen. They did the same with Taemin (because come on, beside they actually looked like each other, they were both very good looking since a very young age. There were so many people wanting to be in their circle of friends). The difference was while Taemin declined with the excuse of finding the one, Jongin played with them instead.

Their choices on handling things had caused a bad effect to their friendship. Taemin had started to keep a certain distance from Jongin and there were times when they were not in a speaking term. On, until Taemin’s parents had to leave for Frankfurt an Main and Taemin had chosen to stay (it was his last year). Jongin, between his numerous dates and girls’ phone calls had always stayed by Taemin side. He would sleepover and turned off his phone every time because he knew it annoyed Taemin (the calls and the texts were crazy, his phone wouldn’t stop buzzing until three in the morning). Taemin started to accept that this player was a very loyal friend and probably the best he would ever have.

They had kept each other company ever since. Well basically he kept Taemin company because he got his girls. Taemin was just... Taemin. He got other friends beside Jongin, but Jongin was the first person he told and shared everything with. The amount of time Taemin shared with people are not even half of the time he shared with Jongin and Jongin liked it, proud of it, and he never thought of other possibility of how things could’ve been.

It went on to high school, where even more girls hitting on Jongin and Jongin himself got wilder. Taemin liked it sometimes, he had pranked some girls, telling them where Jongin would be but not really. He would tell Jongin about it after and laughed maniacally together. Another reason they stuck with each other was because they were both s (not to each other, though). Jongin the player and Taemin the prankster, the cool duo everyone wanted to be close to. Jongin really treasured his friendship, and his best friend.

Except two months ago.

It was Taemin’s birthday that day and they talked the night away between chips and popcorn and cakes and ice cream and movies and drinks at Taemin’s place.

“I still don’t get it though,” Jongin slurred.

“Get what,” Taemin replied. “Pass me another can,” Jongin rolled it on the floor.

“You’re seventeen—eighteen, and you never dated once.”

Taemin frowned. “Hey. I dated Jinri.”

“You were twelve. She was ing  ten.”

Taemin shrugged. “We dated.”

“Yeah right.”

“You’re serious.”

Jongin hummed in response.

“You will be insulted if I tell you.”

Jongin snorted, “More insulted than when you told my date my every dirty little secret?”

“…I WAS DRUNK. AND YOU PROMISED YOU’LL NEVER BRING THAT UP AGAIN.”

“WHY SHOUTING.”

“YOU STARTED IT,”

“THE F—”

“UGH WHATEVER!! Just drop it, okay? Okay.”

“It’s really okay, you know Tae? Not everyone got the chance to be loved so much.”

“….”

“….”

“…why are you my friend.”

“….”

“And Just to remind you, that Naeun girl just confessed to me last week.” Taemin gulped down his drink. “I just... I don’t want to go on relationships meaninglessly." He said carefully, because that was exactly what Jongin was doing and he really didn't want to insult his best friend.  "I want it to be special. Because we’re gonna be so close and we’ll share personal things. You know I’ve liked girls, too, but flings are flings. I’ve never been in love yet.”

Taemin looked really serious with his words, jongin thought. It sounded final, and that it would never change. He felt slight pang in his chest, not because the ‘meaningless relationship’, he realized. But the ‘sharing personal things’ part that bugged him. Taemin being personal with someone else. He didn’t like how it sounded.

Taemin threw a glance at the other in the room, looking for any reaction, but Jongin was just listening. So he continued.

“and .. yeah. If I would ever be in a relationship, then I’m gonna love her. Because I want to raise a happy family. I want a wife that loves me as much as I love her. I want to raise lovely children and let them out to the world. I want to grow old together, just the two of us, you got me? I’m gonna on her first grey hair,” Taemin smiled dumbly, “And to tell her she’s pretty even with the wrinkles on her face. what am I saying,” Taemin laughed. “I’m sorry, I’m disgusting when I’m drunk.” He chuckled.

“Jongin?”

There was a soft snore and when Taemin understood what happened he threw one of the couch pillows to Jongin’s feet. “Sleep on me talking again are we. I’d learn to not talk to you one day.” Taemin shook his head and got up, took one pillow and blanket from his bed and put both on Jongin. His friend would have sore muscles tomorrow. He scoffed. Served him right. Taemin left for his room right after.

Jongin opened his eyes.

No.

No no no no.

Would Taemin really do that? Would he really find a wife and get married? Would their friendship change, then? Jongin curled up to a ball and squinted his eyes shut. No. He was the one supposed to spend the most time with Taemin.

Right?

No wait. He would find himself a wife too (he ignored the fact that it didn’t sound appealing nor interesting at all). He would have a family of his own, too. He’d still have Taemin around though. He wanted Taemin around. Maybe their families could live together, something? He would still have sleepovers with the other and movie nights too. Right? Right.

So why did he still has uneasy feelings?

He should’ve felt happy. Taemin had his future planned, and he was always the diligent, straight-A kid (although Jongin was not far behind him). It was not supposed to be surprising, right? Of course he wanted to have a proper family with a proper wife, why would Taemin want otherwise? What’s other than that possibility left for Taemin anyway?

Me.

Jongin cried himself to sleep on Taemin's birthday.

::

There was a cute, tiny, but consistent knocking on the bathroom door Jongin was in. it was very annoying and he would’ve shout out profanities, except he knew exactly who it was.

Knock knock knock knock

“hyung!”

“Wait, I’ll be out soon,”

Knock

Knock knock knock knock knock knock

Damn those little hands.

“Hyung!”

“WHAT!!” Jongin shouted.

The knocking stopped.

Jongin listened.

There was no pitter-patter of little feet that supposed to be heard if the knocker left, which only meant the knocker was still in front of the door.

Oh no.

This was bad abort mission abort abort abort

Jongin zipped up his pants as fast as possible and took one inhumanly quick step towards the door. He whipped the door open and strutted down low to his brother’s level. Just as Kyungsoo took a huge breath so he could cry and scream and wail, a rather large hand covered his little mouth.

“Shhh don’t cry, don’t cry, Soo. I’m out, okay? Don’t cry.”

Kyungsoo struggled cutely to escape from his brother’s hold but another hand came up to his nape. Tears was welling up on his eyes, he was upset. Jongin questioned why was his brother such a cry baby sometimes, but he always ended up relented to Kyungsoo anyway because he was really cute and Jongin wanted to eat his cheeks.

“Shh—ouch, hey no hitting!” Jongin hissed. “I will let you go but don’t cry. I—Kyungsoo, stop it. I’ll watch Pororo with you. But don’t cry,” Kyungsoo was still hitting him. It did not hurt one bit but that meant the kid would still cry if he let go and he didn’t want his mother to nag at him. So he tried something else. “You can sleep with me tonight?” Little fists kept on hitting his shoulders. Jongin groaned. “Fine, we’ll go to the park tomorrow. Like old times.”

He was going to have to ditch his dance class, but he figured it would be worth it. It’d been long since the last time they had a stroll at the park. Ever since high school Jongin had got busied by school and dancing. He never really had quality time with his little brother anymore, save for bed time stories and dinners with their family.

But Kyungsoo was still not taking it. Jongin almost let him go and scream out whatever he wanted and his mother’s nagging be damned when Kyungsoo stopped and showed Jongin his three fingers.

“What?”

Kyungsoo pointed to himself, and then Jongin, then his earring.

Jongin froze.

Oh.

Right. Old times.

Jongin looked back to his brother’s eyes again slowly, the latter had stopped hitting because his hyung seemed lost and he wanted to know why. Kyungsoo was always curious about his brother, he looked up to the older a lot after all. Jongin nodded reluctantly.

“…sure.” He whispered.

He let go of the other, the hand that was on Kyungsoo’s mouth slide down slowly to a small stomach and squeezed weakly. He bit his lip and brushed his brother’s little shoulder a couple times carefully, mutely, and then he went to his room, leaving a (cute) confused Kyungsoo alone.

Jongin threw himself on his bed, covering his eyes with one arm. He sighed heavily. It was only four days since the last time he saw Taemin and it felt like a century. He had been avoiding Taemin since the tragic rainy afternoon. He needed sometime to collect his thought. To make sure he wouldn’t break down and cry the minute he saw Taemin again.

He smiled bitterly as he recalled his encounter with Kyungsoo earlier. It was never him and Kyungsoo. There was always Taemin. The other male came to his life the same year Kyungsoo was born. It was the three of them all the time. Three of them had lunch at the park. Three of them had countless Pororo marathons (Kyungsoo would sleep halfway through). Three of them went to the piercing booth although Kyungsoo didn’t get one.

Taemin didn’t have any siblings so he spoiled Kyungsoo a lot. He bought him toys and games, and spent most of his time with Kyungsoo instead when they hung out at Jongin’s place. I’m the one invited you here Jongin would say, yes but Kyungsoo is cuter, and he is less of an  Taemin would answer mercilessly.

Kyungsoo had come to like Taemin a lot, too. He somehow became a submissive, all-smile little toddler whenever Taemin around and switched easily to his nagging, cry baby, annoying self when Taemin left. There had been times when Jongin couldn’t take his brother’s antics but later he just accepted his dongsaeng the way he was. He had actually thought that Kyungsoo liked Taemin better than himself when they were fifteen. It was the first year of Taemin living alone, and Kyungsoo would call Taemin almost every night (when he remembered) to tell him no to cry and that Kyungsoo was there to talk to him. It was such a sweet gesture from little Kyungsoo and even their parents got a little bit Jealous.

“If I don’t have umma and appa, I would be really sad. Taemin hyung also doesn’t have a hyung like I do, he must be very sad and lonely. Anyone would be sad if they don’t have a hyung. Right, hyung? I don’t know if I don’t have Jongin hyung,” Kyungsoo frowned, not liking the idea. He buried his face to Jongin’s neck.

Jongin had hugged Kyungsoo tightly to sleep that night.

Funny how it seemed like there was no childhood memory Jongin could recall without Taemin in it.

Even funnier how he think of his future with Taemin, didn’t matter who or where he’d be.

There was this strange sensation like hair strands on his palm. His hand was moving. He didn’t do that. He strained his neck up to see what exactly it was although he had a hunch—There Kyungsoo was, staring at him guiltily. He had taken Jongin’s free hand and placed it to his own head, held it by the wrist and moved it as in caress. Jongin wondered when had his little brother become so ridiculous. He pulled Kyungsoo closer from where he was standing to the edge of the bed. Kyungsoo probably thought Jongin was upset since he left him alone in the hallway.

“I’m not mad at you, Soo.” He croaked. He caressed Kyungsoo’s head. The smaller climbed up to his bed and snuggled up to him. He hugged Kyungsoo by the waist and kyungsoo did the same. He circled his short arms around Jongin tight; he hated it when his hyung was crying. He didn’t know what to say so he just tightened his hold.

“What was it that you need me for, Kyungsoo?” Jongin said, sniffling.

Kyungsoo stayed still for a moment before he looked up to his brother with that derp face of his.

“…I forgot hyung.” He said flatly.

Jongin blinked.

“O…kay…”

„Chapter One”

Tell me what you think about it? Or if you want you can go anon and tell me here. thank you so much for reading :)