“Kyungsoo, are you up?”

“Yes I am,” I say quietly, buttoning up my black blouse. 

“Okay, I’ll be waiting,”

“Mm,”

Of course I’m up.  I would never forget my father’s death anniversary and sleep in late.

Yes, you heard right.  Today is the 7th of November and it has been exactly 13 years since he passed away.  I grab my blazer and walk out of my room, the rain dripping out in the gardens.  What a gloomy day.

I walk towards the black carriage and see the familiar figure of Hana, looking sideways from Fern, whom she was tending to.  I smile at her and give her a little wave.  She replies reluctantly, her expression questioning.

I’m already in the carriage though, beside my mother, and I did not have the time to answer her expression.  I face forward and together, we make our way towards his grave.

We arrive and immediately, the row of grave keepers inside the marble building, line up to make a path for us and we walk down through a door, to kneel by the man we loved the most.  Or should I say the man we love the most.

“Hello, dear,” My mother says quietly.  The keepers stream out of the hall and I follow suit, keeping distance so that she could say what she wants to.

“It’s been 13 years and I’ve been keeping good care of the kingdom for you,” She sets the flowers down by the picture of my father and smiles at it.  “The Sons visited yesterday and remember the solution I told you I gave them? It actually worked and they’re doing well right now,”

I quietly leave the room to my mother and wait outside, resting my back on the wall with my hands in my pocket.  I lower my head and wait, for a long, long moment, until she finally comes out.

“You can come in now,” She looks at me and when I meet her eyes, quickly looks away, sniffing.

I take her hand as I pass by her and grip it gently, letting it go without looking at her.  A reassuring gesture I always make at times like these, just to let her know that everything will be alright and that she has me.

I enter the hall and close the door behind me, approaching my father.

“Hi, dad,” I smile at his picture.  “I’ve been taking good care of mother well, so don’t worry.  She’s been very fussy about me getting a partner and she keeps setting me up on dates.  I’ve been a gentleman, okay, so I’ve been a very good boy,” I chuckle quietly.  “But I did not fall in love with any, so they end up being acquaintances.  Very pretty ones, I might add,”

I clear my throat and wonder if I should tell him about that part.  You know, that part.  I think I shouldn’t until I’m sure but—whatever. 

“You know, there’s this girl named Hana,” I look up at his portrait and somehow, I clear my throat again, nervous.  “She’s a stable girl.  I think I like her,” I scratch the back of my neck.  “She’s, I don’t know, she’s just, she makes me happy and my heart goes crazy like it never does before so I’ll take that as an ‘I like her’ but I’ll get you updated on that, dad, so, don’t push me,” I stare at him, and groan in frustration.  “Don’t look at me like that,” I stand up and look back at him pointedly.  “You were like this with mom, too, right,” I glance at the door.  “All lovey dovey and, eugh,” I chortle playfully, remembering all the stories my mother told me about her and my father, and grin at his portrait again.  “I miss ya, dad.  Like a lot.  I bet you’ll be teasing me like crazy if you’re here,” I step towards him and bow deeply.  “Anyways, I’ll take care of everything, I promise.  So rest peacefully,”

I step out of the room and smile at my mother, who was leaning on the wall, fiddling with her sleeves.  I take her hands and give her a hug, kissing her cheek.  She’s shorter than me, so it makes it easier for me to comfort her.  I look at her face and open the carriage door.  “Shall we go home?”

“Mm,” She smiles, her expression a mix of melancholy and nostalgia.  I close the door behind me and rest my elbow on the window, looking out.  When I notice my mother was staring, I stare back. 

“What?” I ask.

“You look very much like your father,” She smiles, reaching out to pat my cheek gently.  “You’ve been a very good boy, Kyungsoo,”

I lean into her hand and nod.  An understanding passes between us and we both return to staring out the window, all the way until we get home. 

And when I get home, I see the person I want to see the most.