No greater fool. 

Goodbye. Luhan felt the pain crawling inside his heart as his mouth spat the words out. He quickly regretted the decision but he had his pride. Though pained and hurt, Minseok did not cry. He gave an understanding smile. It was not the bright smile that made his heart flutter, it was a smile of someone betrayed. Luhan wished for him to cry and stop his foolishness. He wished for Minseok's mouth to say don't leave me or please stay, but it didn't happen. Minseok's love for him was to pure to held him captive.

"Goodbye, Luhan" The hammering pain was frightening. The older boy left him speechless. It was his idea but it was him who was buried. He was a fool.

 Sehun was sleeping peacefully on his bed . Luhan stared at his angelic face, it was pure and perfect. Sehun was a great lover but Luhan was not satisfied. There was something empty, something that made him feel incomplete. Sehun was the reason he left Minseok. He fell in love with the younger boy. He thought it was. Luhan was never this damned before. He brushed Sehun's face softly with the back of his hands but there was no spark. Not the same tingly feeling that sends good kind of shiver in his body as he touch Minseok's skin, not the warm spark that sends butterflies flying in his stomach as he whiffs Minseok's scent. No, it wasn't. Luhan's thoughts travelled to the old apartment that smells of chinese cuisines and cleanliness rather than the luxurious condo where his body dwells.

Luhan was not the type to play around with people's feelings. He was a well-respected person. He was. The new Luhan was the target of rumors and spite as he beds different lovers every night. His and Sehun's relationship did not last for a month. Emptiness was eating Luhan away. The younger knew of what's happening but he was too hurt to tell him the answer. Luhan was ed up. His life messy as hell. 

It took Luhan a plenty of weeks before he realized what made him broken. He concluded that he still love the adorable older singer who learned chinese cuisine for him and devoutedly lifts his sorrows away. It was pride, yet again, that stood between them. The humungous amount of pride that made him what he is right now. A miserable fool. He learned his lesson but he can't let go of his pride. He convinced himself that he was alright even though he was dying. Alcohol became his companion.

One night where his friends gathered Chanyeol gave him a white envelope. It was small and well-decorated. The words 'You are cordially invited' inscribed in gold markings, his name below it. The baby blue invitation card made his knees weak, the familiar sight of his once cute baozi smiling next to a man he knew nothing about plastered below the words 'Kim Minseok - Kim Jongdae  joining of hearts'. Nausea hit him harder than hangovers. His stomach tightening. His head throbbing against his thick skull. He watched at the card wordlessly, a tear escaping his face.

In full white tux, Minseok smiled brightly next to his groom. Minseok was beautiful, he was like an angel gliding the aisle with arms linked to his future groom. Luhan winced at the thought of Minseok's groom. The continuous hammering on his head made him unable to think straight. His vision heavy as he watched the couple with burning grief and jealousy. Regrets eating his heart like a rabbit munching a carrot.

It took all his courage and will to finish the ceremony without destroying it, it took all he had to watch Minseok on someone's arms other than his. It took Luhan's whole damned pride to walk towards Minseok and his groom with a fake smile as he congratulated the couple.

"Thank you" Minseok's words were sharper than a sword, colder than ice, and faster than a bullet straight to his heart. His mind convulsing with the reason beneath the words. Thank you for the congratulations? Thank you for breaking up with me and letting me met him? Thank you for saving me from a hellhole like you? Thank you for being the bastard that you are. Luhan bit his lips hard that blood drew out from it. He excused himself hastily to run out of the sacred sanctuary. Away from the rejoicing of his foolishness.

It took a long six months of drowning sorrow and liquor before Luhan found himself inside the old apartment. The dusty apartment uncattled for a year. Every corner of the room were haunted by memories of him and Minseok, of the happy love they once shared, of the promises he broke, of his foolishness. The sight of Minseok's old event planner placed neatly on the small coffee table covered with dust. He flipped it open. The old reminders of holidays, their dates, their anniversary, monthsaries, written neatly with cute doodles around it. The restricted sobs surfaced and his loud cries released as he read the words on Minseok's planner. "The day I'll promise him forever. Do your best in proposing, Minseokkie!" Luhan's weak voice filled the silent rooms. His cries echoed throughout the room as he watched the date. His heart ached like there was no tomorrow. The blurry visions caused by the tears blocking his view did not stop him from reading the date. September 18. The day he said goodbye.