Baekhyun sits on the shore where the sea water  can barely his bare feet. The sand deepens because of the weight of Baekhyun’s body. He cards the white sand and it slowly falls down from his palm. Baekhyun once heard from someone that when you clutch the sand too tight in your palm, it will escape from your hand faster than when you hold it with opened palm. Seeing the sand escaping his palm slowly even when he doesn’t hold it tight makes Baekhyun recall his memories with Chanyeol. Baekhyun doesn’t know which one is better though; holding Chanyeol tight and keeping him by his side even in the end he has to let him go, or never hold him tight and never confess his feelings and just let him slowly slip away from Baekhyun. Baekhyun just knows that doing the last thing – seeing Chanyeol happy with someone else, never tell him what he feels and just let him go – is really, really hurt. Maybe he should’ve just confessed since a long long time ago even in the end Chanyeol has to get married with someone else. At least Chanyeol knows his feelings, at least Baekhyun can show him how much he treasures his bestfriend. But being the best bestfriend he is, making him can’t even tell Chanyeol his feelings. He’s too afraid it will break their friendship, he’s too afraid Chanyeol won’t see him as his bestfriend anymore and will treat him differently. Just as much as Baekhyun loves Chanyeol, he’s also too afraid of losing him. But in fact, he’s losing Chanyeol now.

Chanyeol’s engaged to Kris and will get married soon. That’s what makes him flew to Jeju island, his hometown and his sanctuary. Here in the beach near his parents’ house, where he first met Chanyeol and instantly made him his bestfriend, Baekhyun just can sit and hug his knees, watching the seagulls hovering above the borderless ocean in front of his eyes, and hoping the seawater his toes and the wind breezing on his face can help him let go of his feelings toward Chanyeol.

13 year old Baekhyun is playing alone at the nearest beach from his house. The beach is always quite because it’s hidden and not many tourists know the existence of the beach. Baekhyun’s neighbors themselves don’t really like to visit the beach because when you live in an island like Jeju where you can always see beaches and beaches anytime and anywhere, it’s kind of boring. But it’s different for Baekhyun. He always likes beaches, especially quite beaches like the one he’s in now. It has been a sanctuary for Baekhyun. Whenever he feels happy or sad or depressed, he will come to the beach. He even named it “Baek-beach”. To him, the beach is his. He won’t share it with anybody.

Just like other weekends, Baekhyun spends the afternoon alone in the shore waiting for the sun to set. He lays down on his back and close his eyes, feeling the afternoon sunlight on his eyes and smiling to himself before something blocks the sunlight and he no longer can feel its warmth on his face. Baekhyun opens his eyes annoyed and see a chubby boy approximately in the same age and the same height as him, standing in front of him smiling from ear to ear. His pearl white teeth are immaculate. His eyes still look obviously round and big even though it’s covered with an ugly round glasses. His dark brown lock is a little bit messy and between it stick out a pair of elfish big ears that makes him look more attractive and cute. Plus, his chubby cheeks and plump lips really give Baekhyun the urge to pinch him. Even though Baekhyun likes the boy’s smile (and the boy’s cheeks, and the boy’s eyes, and the boy’s everything) and he also doesn’t look like a threat, it’s still Baekhyun’s beach. No one can be there except Baekhyun.

Baekhyun scowls, “What are you doing here?” He can’t hide his annoyed expression even though he knows it’s rude.

“I’m just walking around.” The boy still wears the same smile on his face.

Baekhyun looks away because he’s afraid that upon seeing the smile for too long can make him blind. “It’s my beach. You can’t be here.”

The boy unexpectedly plops down beside Baekhyun. “Oh really? You’re so lucky then.”

“I said you can’t be here.” Baekhyun pouts. His cheeks are flushing red because of the anger. “Don’t you see the monument there?” Baekhyun points to a little wood monument made by himself one sunny day when he skipped school because the day before, his friends were making fun of him, if not bullying. “It’s read Baek-beach. It’s my beach. What part of my sentence doesn’t make me clear?”

“Okay ,it’s your beach, but can’t I be your guest? I can pay.” The boy’s eyes are glittering, reflecting the golden sunlight. It’s full of self-confidence and hospitality.

Baekhyun can’t help but staring at the boy curiously.

“I have this.” He fishes his full pocket and takes out some chocolate candies. “I brought it from Seoul. I can guarantee you’ll like it.”

Baekhyun warily takes one of the chocolates and glances at the chubby boy before plunging it to his mouth. It’s soft and sweet. He can imagine his eyes light up with happiness.”I like it.” Baekhyun says. Embarrassed.

“See?” The boy’s chuckling. He then ruffles Baekhyun’s hair that makes Baekhyun’s cheeks tinged red. “So I can be here right?”

Baekhyun nods shyly. They have a chat while Baekhyun’s busy munching on the chocolate candies his new friend brought. The boy’s turned out to be a very fun company and they get to know each other quickly. His name is Chanyeol. Park Chanyeol. He’s in a trip with his family but he likes to stroll around Jeju island alone exploring hidden places and that’s how he found Baek-beach. Chanyeol has two weeks left for his holiday there and they promise to each other to spend Chanyeol’s remaining holiday together.

Chanyeol always brings him the sweet choco candies that’re like a ticket for him to have Baekhyun accompany him strolling around Jeju island. One day Chanyeol forgets to bring him the candies but what Baekhyun knows, it is not the candy that is important. It’s Chanyeol’s presence because he had never found a friend as nice and as fun as Chanyeol even though they just met some couple days ago.

It’s the last day of Chanyeol’s holiday in Jeju. Two days later will be the first day school of the senior year in the middle school. Chanyeol has to go back to Seoul with his parents. As much as Chanyeol wants to stay in Jeju, the new semester is also waiting for both of them right before their eyes. It’s two hours before Chanyeol’s flight. Chanyeol has packed his stuffs in the hotel. Now both of them are standing in Baek-beach. The ocean breeze tousles their hair and makes it  feels heavy. Unlike the usual, they’re so quite. Baekhyun is afraid that if he opens his mouth, he will let out the sobs he has retained all day. Baekhyun knows Chanyeol is also feeling the same beside him. Even the happy virus Chanyeol is quite and anxious. The boy who brought a pack of happiness to Baekhyun’s life these past two weeks also doesn’t know what to do to retain himself from crying except by keep silent.

Baekhyun grips Chanyeol’s wrist and leads him to the wooden monument he made. It’s the last thing he can do to make Chanyeol happy before he leaves. Baekhyun kneels down in front of the little monument and pulls out a pocket-knife from his pocket. He starts carving the monument writing “YEOL” under “BAEK” and make it read “BAEKYEOL-BEACH”. The taller boy watches in amusement and drops himself beside Baekhyun after seeing the renewed monument. Chanyeol hugs Baekhyun tight and whispering some promises to see him again. Baekhyun inhales the sweet smell of Chanyeol’s body mixed with the smell of salt. They don’t cry because they both know that they will see each other again. Someday.

--

It’s the first day of high school. Baekhyun, being a freshman after a year of being a senior in the middle school, is so anxious. He can’t stop himself from shaking. And it’s not Jeju. It’s SEOUL!! It’s totally new for Baekhyun. Baekhyun has decided to move out from Jeju and living with his aunt and uncle in Seoul.

He walks into the school and crosses the soccer field, heading towards the announcement board where freshmen are gathered to see which class they are in. The loud noise can be heard from afar. Most of them has known each other because they usually are friends from middle school, but Baekhyun has no one here. He has to survive his first day of school and get to know his classmates. Today he has to at least have one friend to keep him company. He’s determined to change himself from the old Baekhyun who was easy to make fun of to the new Baekhyun who has many friends.

Baekhyun clutches the strap of his backpack and shrink himself to penetrate a big group of freshmen squealing and shouting at each other asking which class they are in. Baekhyun examines the long list of students carefully looking for his name. He finally finds himself on the list of students of class 1D, he then reads the names of his classmates. It is written alphabetically from A to Z and when he lands his eyes on the list of students with the family name Park, there are couples of his classmates named Park but one name catches his eyes “Park Chanyeol”. He stoned. His jaw drops. “How many Park Chanyeol is in Seoul? Is it Park Chanyeol as in PARK CHANYEOL?” He turns around and runs as fast as he can to his class. He isn’t sure whether or not this Park Chanyeol is the one he met last year. Park Chanyeol his first friend. Park Chanyeol who kept him company and Park Chanyeol who gave him candies as sweet as their short meeting memories.

Baekhyun stops in front of the door catching his breath. Some of the students watching him curiously. He then wipes his sweat in his forehead with the back of his hand before entering the class. His heart goes thump-thump-thump he himself isn’t sure if it’s because of running or because of his curiosity of the boy named Park Chanyeol.

He doesn’t really expect a pair of arms to hug him tightly when he steps one foot into the class. Baekhyun smell the special sweet scent only Chanyeol owns.

“Baekhyunnie~!! It’s really you!” a deep voice Baekhyun is unfamiliar with welcomes him. Baekhyun releases himself from the hug. He looks up and sees a handsome tall boy standing in front of him. He is grinning ear to ear. Baekhyun knows that smile. And also the scent. But..

“Baek? Byun Baekhyun!”

The same deep voice drags him back from his little world.

“You remember me right?” The boy curls his brows anxiously.

“Ch-Chanyeol?” With that, the taller boy launches himself to Baekhyun and hugs him tight once again.

“You remember me!!!!!” He laughs loudly in Baekhyun’s ear.

Of course Baekhyun still remembers Chanyeol. He just needs some time to make himself believe in what he sees because the Chanyeol in front of him is totally different with the Chanyeol he met a year ago. The Chanyeol now is more handsome, a lot slimmer and taller. The chubby cheeks are gone making his strong jawline obvious, but not make his cuteness disappear. The glasses is still on but it is the latest style, not a round ahjumma style like what he wore a year ago. There is no longer fat Chanyeol, not that Baekhyun doesn’t like the chubby Chanyeol (Baekhyun refuses to call  Chanyeol fat). He is now a tall slim handsome (and all at once cute)  boy with stylish haircut and stylish glasses and a deep voice. How can he own everything a boy needs?

That time, Baekhyun can feel that his days in the new town will be really really fun with Chanyeol’s presence. He doesn’t care the annoyed look they friends give to them upon making a commotion early in the morning with Baekhyun’s high pitch giggles and Chanyeol’s loud deep laughs. They silently agree to become chairmates and the homeroom teacher even told them off in the first day of school because they really can’t stop whispering and giggling to each other’s jokes.

Baekhyun smiles upon recalling his first reunion with his bestfriend. It’s his fourth week in Jeju and his time is almost up, yet his promise to forget his feelings toward Chanyeol is almost forgotten. He has tons of abandoned works waiting for him in Seoul and he just sits in the same place in the same beach everyday thinking about the same thing again and again. Thinking about their first meeting, their first reunion. Thinking about how deep and soothing Chanyeol’s voice is. Thinking about his big hands on Baekhyun’s nape – Chanyeol’s habit that he loves so much – and thinking about the time when they were spending weekends together before Kris entering Chanyeol’s life and claiming Chanyeol as his, and decided to break Baekhyun’s heart into million tiny pieces. Chanyeol was always Baekhyun’s. Only Baekhyun’s. He knew it was selfish but Baekhyun was, is,  also only Chanyeol’s.

“Baekhyun.” A pair of arms hug his waist from behind.

“This hands.. This voice..”